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ATC Issues A place where pilots may enter the 'lions den' that is Air Traffic Control in complete safety and find out the answers to all those obscure topics which you always wanted to know the answer to but were afraid to ask.

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Old 19th Aug 2016, 08:52   #1601 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Sweden
Posts: 6
Heard on Arlanda ground:
"Ground, Thai 961...Lakki Takki"
"Thai 961, say again"
"Thai 961, LAKKI TAKKI"
"Thai 961, Please say again.
A minute pause, then a new Western European voice comes on the radio:
"Thai 961, we REQUEST TAXI"
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Old 31st Aug 2016, 15:13   #1602 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 696
Coming off the pond this morning

"Speedbird XX FL390, any news on the delays this morning?"

"One second"

"that's a good delay..."

Sadly 15 mins at OCK but whoever slipped that gem in made my morning...
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Old 19th Sep 2016, 19:35   #1603 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Berkshire, UK
Age: 72
Posts: 8,064
I'm not too good at using the search facility so apologies if this is a repeat.

Heathrow Director to unknown aircraft which had called established: "You're four miles behind a palindrome, call the tower......"

The palindrome in question was, I believe, Shamrock 151. The ATCO was AC!
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Old 19th Sep 2016, 21:21   #1604 (permalink)


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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: dallas
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real story my first cross country flight KADS to KABQ wife onboard old sundowner no idea how to land in crosswind, of course big crosswind lined up upwind to try to gain some ground ended up 200 feet to the left in the dirt, much dust finally got it stopped. ATC responded: now, what are your intentions buddy?
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Old 20th Sep 2016, 08:57   #1605 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the way to sea
Age: 47
Posts: 178
Air France to TWR: Sir, we it ze bird!
TWR: What did you eat?
AF: We it ze bird.
TWR: sorry, what did you eat?
AF, slowly: W.E. I.T. Z.E. B.I.R.D.
TWR: aaah, you hit the bird!
AF: Affirm, we it ze bird.
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Old 20th Sep 2016, 09:02   #1606 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the way to sea
Age: 47
Posts: 178
lonely night in the tower somewhere in Central Europe....inbound was Gulfstream with delegation of US Senate. The pilot was....judge for yourself.
Gulfstream: Howdy, N8XXXXX on the beam, boots down, all green!
Me: call the ball!
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Old 19th Oct 2016, 21:57   #1607 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Stockholm
Posts: 17
ATC: FLT123 minimum rate of descent -3000 FT/MIN, reduce speed 250 knots, descend FL70

FLT123: minimum rate of descent -3000 FT/MIN, reduce speed 250 knots, from FL140 Down to FL70, FLT123
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Old 3rd Dec 2016, 17:14   #1608 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: 50'11N 004' 16W
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Seen on arrse website.
Skyvan is given clearance to land, aircraft behind informed number two after Skyvan.
"Roger visual the shed"

"Actually - we're a conservatory".
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Old 19th Dec 2016, 20:32   #1609 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: England
Posts: 52
ATC: FLT123 [garbled]
FLT123: Repeat please ATC, you were drowned out by our TCAS
ATC: FLT123 traffic passing X,XXX feet below you (etc)
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Old 22nd May 2017, 20:25   #1610 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Ethereal Land of Vintage Aviation
Posts: 125
Funny, because that wasn't the intent, way back when....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TgSNSTbzdA
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Old 3rd Aug 2017, 15:57   #1611 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Huntingdon
Posts: 18
Dusseldorf ATC

Heard years ago. A BA flight is departing Dusseldorf

ATC: Speedbrid XX change to XXX.XX and squak XXXX.

Speedbird: Sorry No can do, our transponder is U/S.

ATC (In very thick stage German accent): Don not vorry Speedbird, ve have vays of making you squak
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