Norbas

Very good

Fidgell

My name is Zooker, its aircraft that I spot,
But I know F&%$k all about ATC, not even a jot,
Im jealous of ATCOs and their healthy pay cheque,
But I wouldnt make it, and so Im envious as heck!
So I go on their forum and pretend to belong,
But every post I write is inaccurate, random and wrong.
They all insult me so I fight back pretending to know,
When really I know nothing of where Fidgell is going to go,
But at least I got attention and Fidgell took the time,
Glad he's an ATCO though as he's got no career in ryhme.
So I give my all to be in the group I so desperately desire,
My bedsits looking shabby next to the ATCOs empire,
So its scanner, tissues and hand cream for me, a woman is no go,
And friends would be nice, my life is empty and low,
So ill carry on trying to join in - It must be worth a punt...
Yet they all really know the truth - Im really a useless ( fill in here please )

There's five minutes of my life I wont get back. Maybe this could be the start of a new thread. ATCO meets Pam Ayres....

ZOOKER

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!!!! .

preduk

ZOOKER

ayrprox,
thank-you for your kind comments .

ZOOKER

Fidgell,
On further examination, I notice a lack of stanzas in your work, in fact, it resembles a set of lyrics by the 1970's progressive rock group 'YES'.
Are you "Close To The Edge", Fidgell?
You will be when you're living on the Ayrshire Riviera

ATSA1

...And after 6 pints of 70 shilling, he will be "Fragile", unless he is sick in the "Topographic Ocean"

I did a year at ScATCC, back in the early 80s....364 days too long!

But I do agree with an earlier post, if I was having to live anywhere up there, I would plump for Troon......-

ZOOKER

Of course another major tourist attraction of the Ayrshire Riviera is Hunterston B, 19 miles up the coast .
Another 'Glow-In-The-Dark' deep-fried Mars Bar please .

The Expert

Now that you have all got that out of your system and slagged off Ayrshire, I wish to say a different word.
The area suffers badly from social deprivation, as does much of a lot of Scotland. The traditional industries have gone, and the new wonder jobs and industries that were to come in and replace them stayed only as long as the government subsidies lasted. . . . Prestwick Circuits, Hyster, Volvo, Stonefield Truck, Hewlett Packard, etc etc
I worked with a good number of Ayrshire men who had worked in the regional division of British Aerospace at Prestwick – every one of them was the salt of the earth.
When you read the Ayrshire Post on a Thursday, there is a full page of Masonic Notices. There is only half a page of church notices!

Lon More

When all is said and done, Prestwick still isn't as big a Sh1thole as West Drayton. or most of Manchester

Me Me Me Me

Manchester: home to the poorest children in Britain

2006-07 Crime figures

Violent crime (per 1,000 of population)
National average: 16.7
Manchester: 32.7

Robbery
National average: 1.2
Manchester: 8.3

Vehicle theft
National average: 2.9
Manchester: 8.9

Burglary
National average: 4.3
Manchester: 16.5

I can see why you're all worried about leaving....

danceswithsheep

15 mins out of Ayr is Coylton. Nice little town(and getting a rail link) new houses and a bookies!!!!! Feel free to PM..........................Nice 4 bed exec for sale!!!!!!!!

Vercingetorix

Lon More
Concur. The ancestral home is South Ayrshire.

The Expert

Me Me Me Me
What are the similar statistics for Ayrshire?

Me Me Me Me

That's beside the point (altho I'll look)

Point is people from Ayrshire aren't stomping around like a herd of Kevin & Perry's mumping about having to fulfill their contractual obligations of moving from what is made out to be Heaven on Earth to the scary, barren wastelands of the north, encountering roaming bands of brigands and the odd wooly mammoth.

It's a remarkably perochial and blinkered attitude... Which'll fit right in!

Edit: This may actually be of interest...

ayrprox

2006-07 Crime figures

Violent crime (per 1,000 of population)
National average: 16.7
Manchester: 32.7
South ayrshire: 2.34

Robbery
National average: 1.2
Manchester: 8.3
South Ayrshire: 0.39

Vehicle theft
National average: 2.9
Manchester: 8.9
South Ayrshire: 1.56 theft of vehicle
1.59 theft from vehicle

Burglary
National average: 4.3
Manchester: 16.5
South ayrshire : 4.92

figures are taken from crimes per 10000 people ,so have divided my figures by 10 to produce amount per 1000 people. not sure if this is creative accounting and am willing to be corrected

hope this helps

The Expert

Ahhh, but if you read the Manchester Evenng News, and make a direct comparison with the Ayrshire Post, how many columns of Masonic Notices and Church Notices are there?Obviously the reason for significantly higher crime figures in the Manchester area is due to a complete lack of Masons in Manchester

northernmonkey1261

If we have to do a crime tit for tat list, then surely fair to do Glasgow vs Manchester?

Not sure what everyone's moaning about, it'll be wicked up there, loads of opportunities for wives and kids too, great motorway and dual carriageway connections in all directions. Yep, as someone has already said, a class above West Drayton and Manchester, which were nowhere near excellent transport links enabling you to live many miles from work and work in almost any industry.

Loads of fantastic towns and villages with nice friendly centres, and not once have I been warned to not live too rurally or the locals out that way will not take kindly to outsiders. Pass the banjo please.

anotherthing

Northern Monkey

totally diasagree - not many people will live in Glasgow and commute - the comparison of crime figures should be for likely place of residence at moment compared to likely place of residence after the move.

I agree Manchester V Glasgow is a fairer comparison if you are trying like for like, but that's not the issue here - the issue is people claiming Scotland is ridden with criminals, inferring that living in Ayrshire will be worse than in Manchester, from purely a crime statistic point of view

Me Me Me Me

If I were from Ayrshire I'd be more concerned about finding out what % of the Manchester population were ATCOs, in order to calculate the likelyhood of those high crime rates being directly attributable to the invaders from the south