Wither your tax pounds goeth

[Pontius Navigator]

We have spent the last week watching Serco contractors, as Mrs PN put it so eloquently, polishing turds.

Serco maintain a number of quarters at Shrivenham. For the past week a number of contractors have been painting soffits, fair enough, but also using a self propelled hydraulic lift to paint the chimney pots.

Now these are plastic dummy chimney pots. The stack and the pot were battles grey; an unnecessary carbuncle on a dark red roof. Over the course of the week each pot has been tenderly wiped and painted clay orange.

The adjacent site is the responsibility of DIO; I almost said maintained but that would be a lie. Ridge tiles are missing, gutters broken etc.

What money wasted, one over maintained and the other falling apart.

[Jumping_Jack]

Absolutely....I happen to be in the DIO unmaintained qtrs! 1 month and counting to get heating and hot water fixed.....

[Wander00]

Hmm, on an RAF station at the weekend for the first time in 23 years - quite nostalgic as youngest was there age 2-5, and my last tour, as OC Handbrake House. Allocated suite in original OM, but still no en-suite bathroom, temperature like sauna and could not be reduced, wry smile that "health option" breakfast slightly more expensive than great British breakfast option. Not impressed by Sunday "lunch"£ and 50p for a yogurt that is 25p in the shops was a joke. The formal Reunion dinner on Saturday night, albeit "self service" was IMHO VERY good. However, not the OM style I remember fondly, other than the overheated Mess

[Mil-26Man]

50p for a yogurt that is 25p in the shops

Oh, the humanity...

[Pontius Navigator]

Wander, I presume you remembered to take your own soap and towel.

[PPRuNeUser0139]

And coat hangers..

[Pontius Navigator]

And dressing gown to go to the bathroom

[NutLoose]

I use a urinal :E

[Pontius Navigator]

Typical engineer, posh

On second thoughts, just to clarify, I meant when going for a shower, that what you meant Nutty?

:)

[MPN11]

i have abiding memories the squalor of living in Officers Messes, at various times between 1965 and c. 1987.
Curiously, the luxury was at RAF Watton after my divorce, when I and my dog moved in to a suite with an en-suite bathroom.
The next tour's overheated dismal life at Uxbridge in a suite sans en-suite was only compensated for by meeting my present wife across a dining table one evening :D

[Wander00]

Yup, remembered towel and soap, and dressing gown. But at my age the loo 50m down the corridor is just a bit trying


MPN11 - you must have been after me at Watton - I was in a rat infested Seco hut, but it was 1966

[Avtur]

But at my age the loo 50m down the corridor is just a bit trying

That's why they put a sink in the rooms! I hope you didn't wash in it.

[Pontius Navigator]

Avtur, you have lowered the tone too last months lavatorial level.

But of course curtains were dual purpose too.

[NutLoose]

Quote:
But at my age the loo 50m down the corridor is just a bit trying

Even I couldn't squirt that far in my prime :E




Officers Mess, sheer luxury, you should have tried the barrack blocks at Odiham, 20 man rooms separated by partitions and a corridor made up of locker backs, even Farmers weekly recommended keeping under 20 pigs in the space.

[MPN11]

Wander00 ... yes, later than you at Watton. I spent about 7 years there between 70 and 79. A happy Unit. Don't recall any SeCo huts, though. The OM was a proper 2-wing job, with no Annexes.

Fortunately, NutLoose, I was never an Airman (except whilst being an Officer Cadet) ;)

[racedo]

The next tour's overheated dismal life at Uxbridge in a suite sans en-suite was only compensated for by meeting my present wife across a dining table one evening :D

MPN............ many ways to read that :=:O

I believe what you meant was your eyes met across a room and it was love at first sight ..........:)

[Rosevidney1]

I remember there being a perpetual shortage of bath and sink plugs. I never found the reason for this dearth - was there an international gang of plug thieves behind this outrage? It was prudent to purchase one of each and guard them carefully.

[Hot 'n' High]

Just to complete this nostalgic trip of “My life in Messes (Various)”, was end room ground floor of OM at RAF “deleted” in the 90’s if I recall. Woke up early one a.m. (01:00-ish) to hear creaking of bedsprings and much groaning/moaning from room directly above mine. After a very short while decided to go bang on doors or similar as, by that stage, I was already fairly old and grumpy and really hated people having more fun than I – especially if it was keeping me awake!!!!! As getting out of scratcher, heard door to room opposite open and footsteps stride off down corridor. Footsteps belonged to a very cute little F/O WRAF! In comedy scene, footsteps reappeared striding back along upper floor corridor stopping outside room above mine from where still there emanated much creaking/groaning/moaning. Sound of door being flung open followed by one-way “burst transmission” from cute F/O followed by door slamming shut and footsteps retracing steps as cute little F/O returned to her room. Absolute silence from above. I was stifling laughter with tears running down my cheeks at what had just happened! H ‘n’ H next woken at about 06:30 as two sets of footsteps clattered rapidly down the fire escape at the end of the corridor outside my room with man and woman muttering. H ‘n’ H nearly did himself a mischief in his efforts to get to the window to see who the two “performers” were. Sadly, never did see them as they legged it p.d. smartish. I’ll never forget that comedy moment – absolutely priceless!!!!!! Cute F/O is probably an AVM or similar now,........ Ma’am!

[Arclite01]

I was told that the plugs were removed to prevent people spending too much time at the sinks where they were in a shared environment........... whether that was true I don't know. If you went to accommodation stores they always had boxes of them behind the counter (not for issue of course).........Hmmmm

The solution was to bung the sink up with loo roll so you could have a shave in a longer time period............. of course this eventually blocked the drains and plumber was required...................crazy mentality.

In the long term I was the same as RoseVidney and just got my own which travelled with me..........

Arc

[Strumble Head]

Oppo of mine came back in shock from a short stay at a USAFE station. Apparently they reduced his bill and apologised profusely because the microwave had been u/s throughout his stay.

[Avtur]

Oddly enough, it was the WO & Sgts' Messes that led the way circa 2000 with providing towels, toiletries, and coffee making facilities as standard in every room. The OMs were still sans anything, and as PN implied earlier, required the use of curtains if you forgot your towel.

[Pontius Navigator]

Avtur, tea making facilities made an appearance in the 90s, really depended on the mess committee I think.

[Shackman]

PN - Actually the tea making facilities disappeared in 1993 with the 'removal' of the last batmen (and women) from RAF Aldergrove - they had already disappeared from mainland messes. And to all and sundry, please don't open up the discussion about all the other services they provided! At the same time some relatively enlightened messes started to provide kettle, cup, tea bag and a milk pod for an exhorbitant sum per diem which you had to pay whether you drank tea or not (and it was only sufficient for one cup).

[MPN11]

As I don't drink tea, I had long made my own provision (kettle, cups/saucers, ingredients and, indeed, mini fridge). Has individual initiative also been expunged from the RAF?

[Wander00]

In France hotels seldom provide "out of hours" tea or coffee, although a nice hotel near Morlaix airport where we stayed a couple of weeks back had an excellent coffee machine available 24 hours a day. Consequently we have a pack up bag with kettle, cups, tea, coffee which we take with us.

[skua]

But back to the thread subject - if you want a seriously depressing example of where the taxpayers' dosh goes, look no further than here (http://order-order.com/2016/11/04/guy-news-special-baroness-scotlands-spin-unravels/).

Shame we don't have a ducking stool by the Thames....

[NutLoose]

So what is pair and share officers messing? It almost sounds like hot bunking.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/defence-infrastructure-organisation-service-family-accommodation-allenby-connaught

[MPN11]

Sorry, I went eye-blind dragging theough that link. I seemed to gather that some soldiers will have an en-suite shower in a private room, which is millenia in advance of what RAF Officers enjoyed.

Not before time, I hasten to add. RAF Officers Messes tended to define squalid accommodation, especially for senior officers.

[NutLoose]

Here you go, this is how it is now

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/172888/20130326_PG0812_SLA_Design_Guide.pdf

Scroll down to about page 26 and on.

44 and on for officers.

[MPN11]

Pure bloody LUXURY!!! ... ah, seen your edit, P 44 et seq.
Yes, I had a small fridge, and a mini-grill, and assorted beverage making devices. God, I even had a TV and a stereo!! And that was in the 80s
It is likely that the occupant may on occasions eat a snack in the room and entertain visitors.
Yes, Officers Mess Rules at a certain West London Officers Mess stated:
Officers are not to entertain members of the opposite sex in single quarters unless a separate sitting room is provided.So that was OK, I had a separate sitting room ... next question? I never broke Mess Rules :D