Horse-play in the Mess

[Flying Lawyer]

When responding to a discussion in Jetblast I referred to an RAF Court Martial in 1992.

Post 31 of this thread: http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/546574-guilty.html

The convictions were quashed by the Court Martial Appeal Court.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone here know if those involved continued their RAF careers?

[Courtney Mil]

I know that Aitken went on to fly for BA as there was a case some 10 or so years later when Gibson's (the Nav that received the 35% burns) wife (BA cabin crew) was expected to fly on the same a/c as Aitken. I don't think the other two involved returned to the RAF.

Edit: BTW the incident was June 1989. The outcome of the appeal may have been 1992, but the three of then would have been discharged long before then.

[Flying Lawyer]

Thanks Courtney.

BTW, I found a report on the internet about the subsequent employment case you mention.

Mrs Gibson claimed breach of contract and unfair dismissal in 2007.
BA said she was never asked to work with the captain involved.
There was a pre-tribunal hearing but I don't know if the claim was pursued or, if it was, the result.

BA faces tribunal (https://www.workplacelaw.net/services/news/8132/ba-faces-tribunal-employee-refuses-to-work-with-man-who-burnt-her-husband)

[Whenurhappy]

There was a chap who let off a flare after a Dining In at Boulmer in c 1992; the 'system' was not at all sympathetic to him: he was kicked off station the following day, kicked out of the then Fighter Control Branch and stripped of his Permanent Commission. At no stage did he face a disciplinary hearing of any kind - all the actions were 'administrative'. I believe he went on to follow a rather lack-lustre career in the Secretarial Branch before vanishing into the Foreign Office. I hope the FCO had a sense of humour...

[Basil]

the 'system' was not at all sympathetic to him: he was kicked off station the following day
Things had clearly changed since the sixties.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v233/Capn_Basil/Bensonboysbehavingbadly1968.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/Capn_Basil/media/Bensonboysbehavingbadly1968.jpg.html)

Take one Ministry ashtray, invert top, place two Roman candles therein, liberally douse with lighter fuel and ignite.
And that was one of the lesser stunts.

At one 'do' the band was blown up with a thunderflash resulting in an on-the-spot rebuke - followed by an anxious wait until Monday to discover if it was going to be 'taken further'; it wasn't :ok:

[Exascot]

Yes Basil and not a 'grow bag' in sight :ok:

[Dominator2]

Reminds me of 2 occasions at Coningsby some years ago. The piano burning after a Dining In Night. The car on top of the burning piano. Fire brigades from a 20nm radius being called out. Who was driving the car? Senior officer disappears into the night. Could it be the AMP in years to come? Someone must be able to tell the story fully?

The other occasion was 29 Sqn inviting a piglet into a Dining In when WW was Stn Cdr. I understand that the sense of humour was tried to the full. But still, no careers were ruined on that occasion!

[Courtney Mil]

The second of the incidents you mentioned, Dominator, was banned from discussion at the time. And it's referred to as the "Pink Rabbit" incident, not the P-word.

[Chris Kebab]

Wonder if these guys have hit that "Google remove my information from searches" button a la Max Mosley.

Not a great moment in Chiv's history, for anyone involved.

[Courtney Mil]

I would go further than "not a great moment", Chris. The Mess was famous for brilliant high spirits, but that was just shocking.

[Dominator2]

Courtney,
I guess that you were one of those reprobate F/Os on 29 at the time. Surely the 25 year rule applies and the Pink Rabbit is out of the hat by now! Even WW may raise a smile (or sniff)?

[Courtney Mil]

My twin brother may have been there. But I won't say anything that might cause W to raise a smile!

Edit: I'll see if I can dig the story out of my website for you after happy hour chez Les Courtnages.

[Wrathmonk]

CM

Extend your happy hour. Your previous post on the topic (clicky (http://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/468757-dining-dining-out-mess-fun-4.html#post6824605))

[Courtney Mil]

Thanks, Wrath. Saved me the trouble. :ok:

[BEagle]

Courtney Mil wrote: The Mess was famous for brilliant high spirits, but that was just shocking.

Agreed.

But in earlier days, I was on the first Hawk course at Chiv and we had a rather meagre combined mess, whilst the new one was being built (facing the wrong way, I gather....:uhoh: ).

At the first Dining-In night, the usual pranks took place. Starting with the usual cling film between seat and pedestal in the loos. A WIWOL knew how to make nitrogen triiodide, which was carefully applied between two bits of kneepad plastic hidden under the block - as the PMC smote the block with the gavel, there was a loud bang and the game was on. During the meal, crow scarers outside the mess went off with monotonous regularity; as soon as the loyal toast had been made, a well-timed slow burning fuse deflated a met balloon full of French chalk powder up in the eaves....

A few other japes, which I can no longer recall. But the bar had a shiny stone floor; I watched with interest as a banger came spinning across the floor, to stop at bottom dead centre under a rather plain (that's being polite) WRAF's blue tube - there was a muffled bang and she hopped away shaking sparks out of her knickers, or so it looked.

Guest of Honour had been a local mayor. Next day, the word came down from on high that such things would no longer be tolerated at Dining In nights - there was to be no noise before the Loyal Toast and nothing destructive thereafter.

Came the second dining-in and the band finished its first piece; the conductor turned to face us expecting the same applause as they'd had the first time. Nothing came, the poor chap turned back and the rest of the band's performance lacked much style. When the Guest of Honour got up to speak, he was another local mayor. He proceeded to say how surprised he'd been - his oppo had briefed him to expect all manner of high jinks, but nothing had happened.... Of course this received considerable applause and laughter from everyone except the Stn Cdr.....:(

We did a few silly things, but never anything as criminally stupid as setting people on fire. Even 'Afterburners' of flaming Drambuie weren't attempted unless a mate was standing by with a 'safety pint'.....

[Warmtoast]

At Christmas 1957 at Seletar these Erks celebrated on the parade ground by overturning this instructional airframe.

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r231/thawes/RAF%20Changi%20%20and%20Seletar/Image3.jpg


While the navy (Ark Royal) celebrated with some style by launching the wardroom piano off the flight deck.

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r231/thawes/PianoCatapault.jpg

[MAINJAFAD]

The other occasion was 29 Sqn inviting a piglet into a Dining In when WW was Stn Cdr. I understand that the sense of humour was tried to the full. But still, no careers were ruined on that occasion!

AKA Operation Pink Rabbit (Courtney Mil's description of the event is hilarious)

http://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/468757-dining-dining-out-mess-fun-4.html#post6824605

Which I may add is not quite in the same league as Arson or discharging firearms and explosive devices indoors (the first time I heard of Piano burning, the story also involved dodgems with real cars in the Offices Mess car park (the most damaged car got burnt with the Piano), plus somebody discharging both barrels of a 12 bore into the ceiling of the Officers mess foyer). The funnest story about Piano burning however the last one that got torched at Coltishall. A work colleague's wife worked as a mess hand in the Officer's mess there and he was sitting in the car park waiting to pick her up at the end of the evening. While there he observed the Station master (Air Commodore, detached) and the acting station master (Group Captain) outside the main entrance was having a blazing shouting match on wherever the Piano was going to be burnt or not (The Air Commodore was the man wanting said event to happen, which of course it did). The Group Captain got his revenge later though.

[Megaton]

Spent a rather tedious morning picking the piano wires out of the tarmac in front of the Mess at Colt in 92 or 93. Boss wasn't impressed by the damage down to the Mess car park. IIRC we had bought the piano from an old lady who had wanted it to go to a good home :}

[Bob Viking]

MAINJAFAD.
The rather annoying postscript to that particular piano burning was that after the JPs had dutifully carried out the torching on the Air Cdr's orders it was the JPs that were left to pay for it. He denied all knowledge.
BV

[BEagle]

In 1975-6, there was a piano in the OM bar at RAF Brawdy, but I don't think anyone ever played it.

A notice attached to the piano stated that, if someone's squadron tradition involved burning a piano, they were at liberty to do so - provided that they would be prepared to pay for its replacement. The cost of which was also prominently displayed.

Whether it was that which ensured the piano's survival, I don't know. Perhaps it was simply the fact that the bar was on the first floor, accessible only by steep stairs?

Summer of '76 and the single seat Hunter - bliss!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Enjoy the stories from the good old days, the fun police have ensured the mess is a "high spirits" free zone today so there won't be any new ones.......

[Basil]

Exascot,
Yes Basil and not a 'grow bag' in sight
Yes, and, I'm sure, even Flt Lt ******** there, in his suedes was thought slightly louche by some ;)

I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t! :E

[MAINJAFAD]

The rather annoying postscript to that particular piano burning was that after the JPs had dutifully carried out the torching on the Air Cdr's orders it was the JPs that were left to pay for it. He denied all knowledge.

Bob

Wasn't a cheap piano either from what I heard. No wonder that most people at Colt were very happy when the the Air Cdr's boast about taking the last jag out of Colt didn't happen.

[teeteringhead]

Yes, and, I'm sure, even Flt Lt ******** there, in his suedes was thought slightly louche by some

I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t Indeed so Basil.

One dressed "adventurously" oneself in ones youth, and was - on occasion - accused of being a "Weekend Hippy"! :ok:

At BFTS, we also had the problem of a living-in bachelor Sqn Cdr. One time I was thrown out of Saturday Breakfast by the same, for daring to wear a cravat (told you I was adventurous!) with my natty cav twill/Tattersall shirt/tweed jacket/Hush Puppy ensemble (yes, really children!), with the immortal words:

"Teeteringhead, whatever that is you have around your neck, it does not constitute a tie within the meaning of Mess Rules. Get Out!"

[4Greens]

At the end of a carrier commission it was a regular ritual to launch a piano from the catapult.

[Bob Viking]

You're not wrong. In fact it was well known by everyone in the Colt Officers Mess that it was not a burner. Without specific orders it would never have been touched. C'est la vie.
In fairness he may not have specifically been aware that the JPs were picking up the tab since I can't be sure anyone ever told him that it needed paying for. However, the burning was preceeded by a very obvious confrontation between said VSO and OC Admin witnessed by many so there should never have been any doubt who had called for the bottle of Brandy and matches.
BV:eek:

[Fonsini]

Speaking of horseplay in the mess - I recently finished reading Robin Olds autobiography, now THAT'S how a fighter pilot should live his life, I recommend both the book and the lifestyle.

He was of course the first American to be given command of a British combat squadron (Meteors) and he frequently made mention of an officer's mess game called "Highcockalorum" I believe (spelling ?).

He didn't describe it in great detail but said he took the rules back to the US with him and introduced it to American pilots.

The game was described as essentially a combination of drunken mayhem, brawling, and a form of open warfare between participants.

Please can someone provide details ???

[Dominator2]

Fonsini, Sounds like Mess Rugby. This is similar to Ruby OR Gaelic Football OR Australian (No) Rules. Only to be played after consuming large amounts of alcohol, otherwise serious injuries may occur. Not for the faint hearted.

[Fareastdriver]

Highcokalorum?

There were two teams of about eight or more.

The head of one team stood with his back to the wall with No. 1 ducked down facing him with his head between his legs. No2 was behind No.1 with his head between No1.'s legs and so on. You then had a line of blokes looking like a caterpillar.

The other team would take it in turn to vault over the rearmost member of the caterpillar and land with maximum effect on one of the other team. He would remain there and then another one would then vault and join him. Bouncing and bumping to was permitted and the object was to load one of the crouching team until he collapsed.

The would normally happen once you had got four or five on one person. Sometimes to their severe injury.

It was banned in the early sixties.

[Haraka]

a.k.a. "Trust" (Lon More would recall).
Two teams 10-12 being typical.
Requirement : one large area ( e.g.dining room or bar) with a spare amount of wall space.
First team : One (or preferably two or three for buffer effect) stand with backs against the wall, in tandem. Wall guy locks arms around mate in front. Both have legs splayed.
First of the "bench" bends down with head between legs of wall team and also splays legs. Next man does same behind him ans so on until you have a line of guys so positioned coming out from the wall .

Second team: Each in turn runs up and jumps, i.e. does a flying leap, along the "bench" to land on it.Rapidly followed by the rest of the team, aim being to collapse the "bench".
(There are tactics to this, e.g. everyone pile on No .3- or worse, the end man) )
Once last man is aboard there is a count of ten whilst the second team attempt to break down the "bench".
Following the success or otherwise of this episode, the teams reverse and the next round is played.
Apparently banned in RAF messes for some many decades now ( can't think how I learned it :rolleyes:)

[goudie]

Hicockalorum

Played it at my, boys only, school. It was called Jump Jimmy Knacker in those distant days. Played it again in the RAF, post rugby game pi$$-ups.

[Lima Juliet]

At the end of DENY FLIGHT party in Colt Mess, I remember hearing from the PMC that the Mess piano was not a burner as they had bought a nasty £50 effort left outside for this purpose. Guess what? The "not-a-burner" burned quite well!

What was even funnier was that the burners of the "not a burner" were on Form 95s as the Mess was full and therefore only those that stayed in the Mess had a "piano supplement" added to their Mess bills! That'll learn those for not booking accomodation until the very last minute (basics, ladies and gents!).

Good party though, from the Jag mates (which was another reason not to stay in the Mess as the locks on the doors are somewhat flimsy for ease of access :eek:).

LJ :ok:

[Lima Juliet]

^^^^Game described above^^^^

I always knew that game as "Mutti Kitty 123"...

Learned how to play that in the Scouts and "Scottish Greyhound" after "British Bulldog" was banned! :ok:

LJ

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Banned in the ,60s??

Last played Highcokalorum in a mess in 1990. Last had to dodge a motorcycle being ridden at high speed down a mess corridor in 1984. Car driven through burning piano by a Station Commander? 1988. Drove a burning car? 1992

We were still having fun until the end of the Cold War :cool:

hearing from the PMC that the Mess piano was not a burner

When will they ever learn that such comments are simply a challenge?

[John Eacott]

Random thoughts:

Highcockalorum was certainly around in the 70s

Cat launches of the wardroom joanna were an exercise in logistics to get the darn thing onto the flight deck. Just fitting through hatches designed to keep water out was one thing, but maneuvering the piano into the weapons delivery lift to get it up to the flight deck was another!

After a boring wardroom dinner at Culdrose I thought it a jolly jape to ride my Honda step through up the carpeted steps into the bar and ride around the fireplace: Wings was good enough to charge me a horses neck and let the rest of the guys try to set lap records.

Friday Happy Hour at CU would often degenerate into pingers vs junglies. Moet was the weapon of choice, only 19/6d a bottle but on our salary it made a fair dent in the mess bill!

Occasional dinnertime event was to make a long rope from tying the napkins together and sending the junior midshipman under the tables to tie it to a senior officer's chair. A concerted pull by all involved usually removed the chair and started the evening on a downward spiral.

Tradition was that most carrier squadrons took on a spare pilot or observer for the long deployments (6 months away or more) to allow for 'wardroom damage'. Catching a 6" shellcase ashtray thrown across the wardroom bar when three sheets to the wind oft led to broken bones or worse.

Which leads on to the Vixen (?) driver who had his scalp opened one night, and was duly carted off to the sickbay to be stitched up (literally) by Doc Adamson. Swathes of bandages duly wrapped around the wound and back to the bar. Day or so later the pilot was complaining of the large lump under the bandage but told in no uncertain terms not to worry and leave it alone by Doc. A lot of mumbling until Saturday lunchtime in the bar, Doc deemed it the right time to remove the bandage there and then. Most of the attendant drinkers were quite amused to see the shipboard fuse attached to the needlework :cool:

[Always a Sapper]

Soap Box [on]

What classes as 'Stupid behaviour' in the 'mess' and is considered as and treated as horseplay would, if carried out by a J/R in the NAAFI or Barrack Block be considered as and treated/punished as criminal damage/assault in 99% of cases.... It FEKIN* Stinks.... Criminal damage/assault is criminal damage/assault and should be treated and punished as such.... If it kills a career then it kills a career and maybe the culprit should have thought a bit before making a twonk of themselves.

Soap Box [off/]


* Apologies for language more suited to ARRSE, but one feels strongly about the subject and percieved inequalities apparent in the system....

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

An interesting point Sapper.

Not an attempt to justify the difference, but ultimately the reason for the difference probably lies in the answers to the following questions.

1) If we don't let the Junior Officers/Junior Ranks 'let off steam', what happens?
2) If we do, etc....?

After the Cold War, when an ever-increasing number of the Rules suddenly started being applied to the letter, I left early, as did many others. Your rules, but my life.

Did occasional flagrant disregard for Rules lead to a breakdown in discipline among Junior Officers when it mattered operationally? No, not a bit of it.

I can recall several occasions when a look at the Mess at 0700 hrs would reveal an apocalyptic scene, yet by 1159 hrs the place was spotless. Once this involved, among other tasks, relaying an entire croquet lawn (finding that much grass on a Sunday morning in rural Wales is, pardon the pun, sodding difficult). Furthermore, on no occasion were the Mess staff expected to clear up after us - we did it ourselves.

Certainly on operational squadrons there were times, especially on detachment, when our JR were supplied with copious quantities of alcohol and left to their own devices, with ample time for a clear-up in the morning before any inspection.


What is your perspective from the JR side?

[Always a Sapper]

Fox3, My perspective?

Probably slightly one sided considering my background before joining up (2.5 years as a Constable in Devon & Cornwall Constabulary, I was one of those that would have nicked me own grandmother for fartin or shall we just say 'keen')...

Personally I didnt find a need to get legless, break stuff or have a right bun fight to have fun...

Germany, circa 1981 RE Regt. Mess Dinner, local town dignitaries invited to O/Mess dinner. A few J/O's having made merry with pre meal drinks decided the second course wasnt coming out at the speed they wished and started banging plates, eating irons etc on their table and managed to break the extending part off the main table. Town Mayor and other guests not impressed (rumour had it table had been a gift to the mess by the Stadt or something) anyway guests had a nice evenings entertainment by the 'stars' of the regt and went away with the expected opinion. Culprits reqd to pay for repairs nothing further said apart from 'it never happend, RIGHT' or words to that effect to the waiting on 'voluntolds' (I was one, btw). One other thing, their behaviour brought the Regt and Corp into disrespect and just made us look like a bunch of numpties in front of the Regts Guests and that is UNFORGIVABLE

Couple of weeks later, late (very) noisy drinks in Sqn Bar, no damage. them as was there ended up on OC's orders, fined and 3 days ROPS (I wasnt there btw).

UK, RE Regt. O/Mess. I did a stint as Mess Manager (omg....) the amount of time that I had to take various bits of silver to the local jewellers for repair after some drunken (supposedly responsible Commisioned Officer that the toms were meant to look up to as a Troop Commander) had busted through 'horse play' or just downright 'lets throw it across the room' itis was embarrassing. I was on first name terms with the jewellers even to the point of them knowing how many sugars I took in a brew ffs. What happend to the culprits? They sometimes got the bill, but never charged mostly the repairs came out of mess funds.

Any of the guys doing something similar in the NAAFI and they were on OC's then CO's before the week was out.

Many other examples.

I don't know, right or wrong but it ALWAYS seemed to me that there was two Army's there was one that the Commisioned Ranks were in and then there was the other one. And then you had the farce (in peacetime anyway) of the person setting the rules (OC / CO) being the judge and jury on orders.

My view, right or wrong. To be honest I dont think they really understood just how much it pi**ed off the lads to see one group of the Regt (who were through their position meant to be responsible and setting an example) getting away with stuff while they would be hammered for far less.

Should we allow them to 'let of steam' ? Of course, but there's limits and the playing field should be level and BE SEEN TO BE LEVEL otherwise we have resentment setting in and a lack of respect which can lead to loss of discipline.

Am I glad I did the 22 years? yes, would I do it again? yes, but next time I would take the advice from the recruiting centre and go get a few A levels/degree and go for a commission.

[Robert Cooper]

And therein lies the difference between the Army and the RAF

Bob C :E

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

On RAF Squadrons, there is no damaging "horseplay" with civilian guests around, and there is a Sqn Silver Officer who deals personally with any repairs (though damaging the Sqn Silver is also never done).

You get some right jerks in the Army, don't you?

[Robert Cooper]

Stolen from another thread:

'A Guide To Mess Sport at Dining In Nights'

Before Dinner - little opportunity for sporting activity. Time should be spent on 'preparing' the tables laid out in the Dining Room by sabotaging the furniture or re-arranging the seating plan. Alternatively, you can just have a few 'sharpners' to get in the mood ahead of everyone else.

During Dinner - sporting activities are frowned upon before the loyal toast. Confine your activity to eating & drinking, telling very non-PC jokes and lusting after the WAAFS - the latter activity will increase exponentially in proportion to the amount of alcohol consumed.

After the loyal toast - the fun can begin:

Potholing - crawling underneath the tables to either escape through the kitchen door or, more likely, to tie someone's shoelaces together. High risk of a swift kick in the ribs if discovered. Strong possibility your chair will be missing if you manage to return to your point of entry.

Table Shuffling - achieved by shuffling the table along whilst remaining seated. Head for the door if the speaker is retiring and has started to run through his service history.

Mortar Bombs - the weapon of choice. Use an old tin tube which once housed tennis balls. Squirt some lighter fluid into the tube, cover the top and give it a good shake, add the ammunition and heat the baseplate with a gas lighter for the desired effect. General direction of fire is up the legs of the seating plan, towards the centre.

Afterwards in the Ante Room/Bar:

High Cockalorum - 2 teams of about a dozen. One team, the supporting team, lines up crouched over at 90 degrees and each individual grabs hold of the person in front. Front man stands facing back down the team to provide impact prediction. The other team then take it in turn to charge up the room and leap onto the back of the supporting team. If all of the team can mount and remain mounted for 10 seconds, without the supporting team collapsing, the supporting team wins. Not a recommended sporting activity for 10 stone dripping wet girls blouses, as the prospect of a 17 stone alcohol fuelled monster, snorting like a crazed rhino as he charges up the room before landing on your back at 15 mph, is likely to result in catastrophic failure of the middle vertebra, broken limbs or worse. Popular during WW2 and the 1950's then banned. Only played underground these days by F3 crews - allegedly.

Tug-of-War - 2 teams any size. Usually fighting over an old broom handle. Little opportunity for dirty tricks, apart from the 2 front men who often 'accidentally' ram their foot between their opponents legs, causing severe crushing injuries to the parts. Only sport where WAAF teams occasionally participate, when it becomes an outstanding male spectator sport, particularly if full 'webbing' is being worn.

Jousting - 'mano-a-mano'. Sadly, with the withdrawal of RAF issue bicycles, this sport has almost entirely disappeared. Mount the bikes holding a mop as your lance, line up at opposite ends of the anteroom and go for it. Star performers often recommended using a short grip on the mop and wielding it as a club for maximum effect. Alternative strategies were the 'chicken', where you rode directly at your opponent, hurling the mob as a spear when the range closed, and then hoping you would suffer less injury than your opponent in the resulting head-on collision. Alternatively, using the 'Light Brigade' strategy, you could ignore your opponent entirely and direct your charge at someone who has recently incurred your wrath - historically Cavalry have always triumphed over unsupported infantry. Falling onto a bicycle can be dangerous - having a bicycle pedal extracted from the inner depths of your posterior can make your eyes water - somewhat. Privately owned, state-of-the-art, carbon fibre, 24 speed mountain bikes are not recommended as suitable mounts - unless they belong to someone else.

Mess Rugby - any size of team. Usually played with an old cushion, if played with an actual Rugby ball, advisable to consider slight deflation. Rules count for little as does the aim of scoring a try at one end of the room. Excellent opportunity to settle old scores without being identified in the general mayhem. Not recommended for unpopular senior officers. Touch kicks through the anteroom windows should be discouraged. Only jackets and shoes should be removed before play commences, thereby allowing opportunities for maximum destruction of remaining items of Mess Dress worn by unpopular staff. Excellent prospects for exchanging your old patent leather shoes for a new pair if retiring early 'hors de combat'.

Piano Demolition - teams of varying sizes, best played outdoors. Demolish a piano by any means in the minimum time. If played as a 'time-trial' between teams, excellent opportunities for pre-dinner preparation thereby ensuring a fast time. Destruction is usually followed by ritual immolation by fire. Fire jumping is also popular, but not recommended for those of a nervous disposition or visiting American F15 aircrew. It is advisable to actually own the piano before commencing this activity.

Stool Dancing - one team, any number generally played in the bar. Link arms around a bar stool. Aim is to pull/push someone into the stool. Anyone who knocks over the stool is eliminated. Ideal competitor has arms like a prop forward and legs like an Olympic high jumper - an unlikely combination. Can drag on for ages and become boring for spectators. Good opportunity for young bloods to impress nubile young WAAFS with their manly strength, until they get smashed into an adjacent fruit machine whilst distracted.

Crud or Tags - teams of varying sizes around a snooker table. Two snooker balls, one red, one white. Rules vary. Basic aim is to sink your opponent's ball down one of the holes before he sinks yours. Charge around the table, grab your ball and try and smash it into your opponents, hopefully sending theirs down a hole. Generally, obstruction or blocking is allowed, although spectators should not be caught participating in this activity. Plenty of opportunities for damaged fingers and even more spectacular teeth and facial injuries when the balls gather momentum and ricochet off the table. Wearing an expensive designer watch when playing Crud is not recommended.

Wall Circumnavigation - solo activity, usually for exhibitionists. With the closure of so many old Officers Messes, most of the more historically challenging pitches are no longer accessible. Old picture rails make excellent handholds but rarely withstand much load. Mantelpieces make excellent temporary bivouacs. Boring spectator sport - contestants usually become 'targets of opportunity'.

Bottle Walking - any number can play. See how far you can 'walk' out on two bottles, with your feet behind a line, leave one bottle as far out as possible and hop back on the other. Advisable to use bottles of reasonable thickness as sudden failure can lead to substantial lacerations and loss of blood. Look for old blood stains on carpet for previous play area.

Moriarty - 1 v 1. Contestants are blindfolded and are armed with a rolled up newspaper in their right hand. They lie down on floor facing each other, clasping their opponents left hand. The aim is to take it in turns to batter your opponent with your newspaper after you have enquired as to their whereabouts. To guarantee victory, ensure you are armed with the entire Sunday Times, including supplements, and your opponent is issued with a copy of the RAF News.

Spinning - unlimited numbers of fools may play. Essentially a relay race where contestants sprint down the length of the room, drink some beer then spin around a broom, with their forehead against the end, before attempting to stagger back down the other end of the room and ''tag'' their team-mate. Amusing spectator sport, but inadvisable to stand too close to the arena, as contestants who have imbibed excessively may suffer from extreme disorientation, resulting in sudden inadvertent projectile vomiting.

Pyros - anyone can play. Not so much a sport, more of a habit. Most participants have lots of 'previous' for pyrotechnic offences and are generally found in the SH fleet. Skilled proponents of this activity wait until a group of 'blunties' have formed-up, and are eagerly discussing the latest station budget, before gently rolling a lit Thunderflash into the group. Considerable street-cred can be gained by first pretending to ignore the fizzing pyro, before casually flicking it away with your foot. Instant decision making is called for in these circumstances, making Blunties the preferred target. Delaying the decision to flick the pyro away can be hazardous to your health, particularly your toes. Pyro participants are advised to enquire in advance of opening their offensive when the carpets are scheduled to be replaced. Smoke canister's are not recommended for use in the bar immediately after a ladies guest night.

Demolition Derby - unlimited fun in a car. Decide on a suitable venue, ideally right in front of the Officers Mess, and agree a course around various flowerbeds and any other suitable local features. Start up and go. Last car still running at the end is the winner. Best to tart the car up to look like a mates without him realising. Not a good idea to invite local reporters to cover this event. Annual festival staged at Coningsby.

Bob C

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

You missed:
After the loyal toast

Defenestration - a suitable victim is grabbed by at least two accomplices and hurled at the curtains. If everything goes to plan, a pot-holer will have snuck out and silently opened the window behind the curtain (a window where the runners had been pre-greased before the dinner). If the miscreants are feeling particularly generous, there will be a mattress or similar outside the window.

Needless to say, should the pot-holer be delayed, or open the wrong window, or the accomplices select the wrong window, or..., or....

The exercise has the benefit (or otherwise) of showing how good the miscreants are at planning, and executing said plan.

[Haraka]

One variation of a "demolition derby" during a Dining In night was performed around the RAF's First Officers' Mess (i.e. Farnborough) in the late 60's.
The vehicle chosen for negotiating the flower beds around the mess was a "borrowed" diesel road -roller, commanded by an Admiral.

[Fareastdriver]

or the accomplices select the wrong window, or..., or....


the wrong floor.

[staircase]

ummmmm.

We must all be getting old.

I have been waiting for three pages for someone to mention the 'great bomber command' guest night at Waddington.

It seems a new generation of PPruners know about it, and the old V force mates are all out to pasture trying to remember!

[Wander00]

Fox 3 - happened in the Junior Mess at the Towers - a cadet slid down the table towards the window and as he went someone realised and exclaimed "Oh sh1t, we are upstairs not downstairs". Victim went on to a distinguished career in and out of the Service - ironically, at the time, his father was Director of Flight Safety!

[Fareastdriver]

'great bomber command' guest night at Waddington.

You mean this one.

http://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/48124-1-gp-dining-night-waddington.html

[CoffmanStarter]

Might we just spend a little time to review the preferred methods of achieving Piano Immolation ... purely based on technical merits and creativity. It might be helpful to address the topic around (1) Ignition Methods and (2) The use of Accelerants ...

I was told that a Canberra Starter Cartridge was a good choice :}

[BEagle]

A ripped-up BINA ERS stuffed into bowels of the Joanna, followed by the night end of a day/night distress flare works well.....

....I'm told.

Don't do this at home!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Having been banned by the PMC from burning the main piano, a 12 foot high replica was constructed from the remains of the summer ball decorations. It was ignited by 3 Canberra starting cartridges....

..and in the ensuing excitement, the main piano got burned too.

[ACW599]

>A ripped-up BINA ERS stuffed into bowels of the Joanna, followed by the night end of a day/night distress flare works well.....<

It is said that in the glory days of UWAS a piano was once taken to the centre of the airfield at St Athan. Several crumpled-up broadsheets borrowed from the ante-room were inserted into the works, sprinkled with a small amount of AVPIN and ignited per thunderflash. This caused an almighty explosion that showered all and sundry with fragments of piano.

Allegedly.

[woptb]

Pillow fighting,piano burning,tuck and lashings of ginger beer,what larks !

[John Eacott]

Piano burning? Kid's stuff :p

l5cD_oTV2wI

[Al R]

Boss: "Al, just had the PMC on the phone.. can you set up and supervise an indoor rifle range at the Summer Ball in our mess?"

"Yes"

"Thank you"

----------------

Boss: "Al, thanks for the other night, erm.. the just a quick one though.. the station commander wants to know why there is so much damage - what should I tell him?"

".. to make sure his officers attend annual weapons training so they can hit what they're supposed to be aiming at?"

"Erm, right-ho Al.. thanks for all your help."

[CoffmanStarter]

ACW599 ... Isopropyl nitrate ... That's bl00dy dangerous verging on suicidal ... Chemistry undergrads I take it ;)

[ACW599]

>ACW599 ... Isopropyl nitrate ... That's bl00dy dangerous verging on suicidal ... Chemistry undergrads I take it<

The event in question took place a year or two before I was on the squadron, but some of the personages who were probably involved were indeed reading chemistry. I believe the then boss, Ad*m W*se, was a chemistry graduate as well. The Hunter & Canberra maintenance unit next door may have supplied the requisite materials ;)

[big v]

While there was Mess Rugby and other "games," my recollection of the most extreme activity was the "Tunnel of Love!"

Turn the ante-room armchairs over onto their front. Manouvre them into a tunnel, say 20ft long. Two teams, each enters the tunnel from opposite ends and the first team to exit the other end complete wins. Any arms, legs, or other body parts that leave the intermediate tunnel sides or top means disqualification.

Tactics usually involved grabbing the last person in the opposing team. Little guys went first and everyone tried to grab and slow the opposition (I always went first!). In the dark any number of scores could and would be settled!

Happy days.

Vernon

[Always a Sapper]

Thunderflash... Ahh such fun in a wee cardboard tube...

Tennis ball, length of downpipe with one end blocked up (strengthend with harry maskers) 1xThunderflash. Aim pipe (ish), strike thunder flash and pop into the tube followed by the tennis ball and any other odd bits of soon to be flying junk... Run...

Blue Tardis, carabiner, thunder flash, victim. Observe victim go into Tardis, quickly position carabiner in the lock, strike thunder flash and drop down the chimney... Run... (works better if the Blue Tardis is somewhat full).

Other variations on ex/ops without the bang bit just involves the carabiner and rolling the tardis around the location a bit.


While not a 'mess prank' but of note anyway...

Young one pip wonder (a particulary hopeless one if thats possible) on his second excercise in Germany didnt listen to words of advice from troop S/Sgt or Sqn 2i/c and decided that one of the 432's would be his personnel bedroom for the night and chucked the driver and half section out into the cold and shut the door.

He failed in a number of ways, apart from evicting said driver (Corp tradition, driver gets first dibs on the wagon) he closed the rear door and failed to secure the mortar hatch :=

Once snoring sounds were heard a carabiner went on the rear door, commanders hatch and drivers hatch followed by a slightly miffed wild german piglet (boar) in through the mortar hatch and yet another carabiner on the hatch lock... Screams were then observed coming from a) the now very miffed piglet and b) the occupant. Driver and section retire to another panzer.

Troop S/Sgt let the piglet out in the morning, troopy was found curled up on the drivers seat with half the G10 stacked on the commanders seat to keep piggy away, don't think either of them had much sleep that night... Piggy left calling cards all over the back of the 432 :yuk:

[26er]

When I arrived at Chivenor in January 1957 the Station Commander, Gp Capt "Flash" Pleasance was sporting a plaster collar giving him a fearsome aspect which he wore for several weeks - and all because of "Where are you Moriarty" at a guest night.

[TBM-Legend]

St George and the Dragon....broom handles with "blind" players slaying the ante-room leather comfy chairs...

Mini-minor racing vs. motor cycles. [Mr Vice {stood down} and substitute Mr Vice and the PMC having tea and hats with the OC in the morning!] at Willitown

[Brian W May]

Remember it well.

At Wyton in the late 80s. The young 'gentlemen' decided it would be good to celebrate the Dining In and burn the piano in front of the Mess and start the conflagration with a Canberra starter cartridge. With 720 grammes of cordite it worked well.

One small problem. They hadn't warned the Guard Commander whose men were armed with loaded rifles and thought there was a terrorist attack underway at the Officers' Mess. They turned out the Guard.

The young 'gentlemen' were fortunate not to end up with 7.62mm holes in their Mess Dress. That would have been a jolly jape eh?

I was deputy O I/C Airmans' Club at the time and was ordered to charge a Corporal for throwing a chair through a window in the NAAFI.

I have very mixed feelings about 'high spirits' . . .

[MPN11]

Horse Play? How many cracked ribs did I get?

1. The Lightning flyover the Mess in reheat, perfectly timed as C-in-C rose to speak?

2. The red smoke marker grenade shoved under the top table, leading to a lot of 'pink' Mess Dress jackets?

3. The MGA trying to be parked under the dartboard to stop people playing, but taking the Ante-Eoom doors out in the process?

... OMG, the list is endless :)

[Danny42C]

Not really relevant, but within the terms of "Horse Play".

Extract from my Post p.213, #4252 on "Pilot's Brevet":

...My second gaffe some time later was really not my fault, but it was to go down in Manby legend. There was nothing on the board (ATC Nirvana !). R/T monitor pipes up: "M-ABCD on 117.9 for you, sir". What followed I will never forget.

Verbatim: "M-ABCD, Manby Approach, pass your message"...."Manby, CD approaching from the North at 2,000 ft, range 20 miles, request landing instructions"...."CD, 11 left, (QFE), circuit clear, call joining"....

(Manby is Prior Permission Only, we have had no advice of this visitor, but that is not my business: I cannot turn him away - but he must answer for it when he gets down)...."CD, what is the purpose of your visit ?" .... "To drop off a horse" .... "Say again" ...."Horse"...."Spell it !"...."H-O-R-S E" ....."What is your aircraft type ?"...."Anson". :confused:

My brain reeled. Reason tottered on her throne. You clutch desperately at straws. "Perhaps it's a very small horse", I consoled myself, "might a Shetland pony go in all right ?" (In my defence, I must add that only a mere dozen years before I'd seen Dak-loads of mules go off , and wished the pilots the best of British).

Now the final bitter twist in the story: Manby had an Equitation Club. My equally stupefied WRAF Assistant grabbed the Station phone book: "It's S/Ldr (X) i/c, sir"...."Ring him, tell him he's got a horse coming in in about ten minutes". S/Ldr (X) gets dragged out of Important Conference, not well pleased, organises groom and whistles up horsebox to the Tower. Anson comes in, parks, groom advances with horse-tackle at the ready. Anson crew see horsebox arrive alongside Tower.

Out of Anson comes a wooden hobby-horse. It appears that this was an adjunct to one of the silly games that are played at Dining-in nights. Station (x) had borrowed it from Manby for some festive occasion, and were now returning it. Pilots roll about Anson in mirth when they realise that they've not only fooled the Controller, but the College as well. (This will keep them in free beer for yonks) :ok:. Even with door closed, Anson rocks on its oleos for some time before crew sufficiently composed to ask for taxy clearance.

Danny is Buffoon [I]du jour. Joke is all round Manby within the hour, round Strubby by nightfall and all round Lincolnshire by weekend. Back at Strubby my Bendix [GCA] crew shakes heads sorrowfully. First the HT door, then the stuck Matador, now this. Always said the poor chap must have been out in the tropic sun far too long.....
Next time two more disasters, but neither of my doing.

Danny42C.

[Octane]

My high school best friend and I were determined to join the Air Force at a young age.
He got in, I didn't (eyesight).
We kept in regular contact and he would relate astonishing (to me anyway) stories regarding Dining in Nights "activities", along with his other more regular aviation related experiences.
The one that intrigued me most were "carrier landings".
Apparently, after the formalities and a suitable quantity of imbibing had taken place, the tablecloths etc were removed and the table (very long apparently) was liberally lubricated with beverages (shocking waste). The idea then being, to then take a running leap and launch ones self (in full dress uniform) onto the table with the aim to see who could slide the furthest with full points achieved if you flew off the far end!
I was jealous, would loved to have given it a go...!
Said friend is now a very senior officer. I wonder what his attitude would be to such shenanigans nowadays? I shall ask him when I see him next and report back! :}

Cheers

Octane

[jamesman]

Back in 1992 at Laarbruch, cant remember if it was XV or 20 Sqns leaving shindig (still love the XV banner across the Mess bar ' Won the Cold War, Won the Gulf War....Lost to the MOD!'). Anyway, piano was on fire and was on the last few flames, having had numerous folks jump over it. Colleague & I managed to scale up on the roof of the Mess (fortunately a single storey building) and dragged a fire hose from downstairs. Great to see startled piano fire watchers either scatter or merely look on becoming rather wet as we managed to get hose turned on and drench the whole of the patio area. Dont remember getting any bother from doing that.:

Sad to report though that family & I visited the Laarbruch Mess last year and it is in a shocking state, graffiti everywhere, doors hanging off hinges, windows all smashed....very sad, had some fantastic nights in that grand old place!

[Jhieminga]

I was never in the military, but I have attended a few occasions where a lot of mil personnel was present. At one of these hangar parties a plan was hatched to remove a piano from the stage where it had been used earlier in the evening. A cloth behind the stage, and the piano, allowed a forklift to be driven up behind it so that it could be lifted off and driven away (there was plenty of noise to allow this to happen unnoticed). Shortly afterwards, a construction built from pallets in a piano shape was set on fire outside on the platform so that the owner of the piano could get suitably annoyed and agitated before revealing the cunning plan.

Planning: 10 points
Execution: zero points, mainly due to the lesson learned about a piano's stability on the tips of forklift tines during corners.

The people involved were all good sports fortunately and the piano was just written off as collatoral damage.

[MPN11]

RAF Watton (Eastern Radar) had burned a lot of pianos outside the front door of the Mess. So much so that the tarmac was pitted and embedded with globules of previously-molten lead. Easily purchased at Noel Abel's auction for £5, with the cost embedded in the cost of the function.

In a century or so, archeologists will examine the remains and wonder "WTF". :)

[Blacksheep]

Not an officer's mess piano burning but the NAAFI at Changi had a piano on the top (third) floor and a long staircase that went all the way down from there to the ground with a short flat bit halfway.

The piano was doused in Avgas and ignited by a celebrating maritime reconnaissance squadron ground crew and sent on its way, where the rest of us formed an honour guard on the middle floor and saluted as it rolled past on its way to the second flight of steps.

The piano was replaced with a new one but encased in a steel cage - with two arm holes for the player to reach the keyboard.

[ACW VGL]

Spoons is a simple dueling game where A challenges B to a game of whalloping the other on the head with a big spoon held in the mouth, each with eyes closed and kneeling. As is only fair A, the challenger, allows B to go first. B does so and achieves a very satisfying 'clunk' as he makes contact between the spoon and A's head. Suitably lulled into a false sense of security, B is now on the receiving end and awaits the return blow from A. What he actually receives is an almighty blow from A's second. Extra points are achieved if A can convince B to play further rounds!

[Wander00]

Carrier Landings - current Vice Lord Lt for Greater London (and son of the then DFS) broke his arm when carrier landed in the Junior Cadets' Mess at the Towers, the night they (the propulsion) forgot we were on the first floor rather than the ground floor

[Mogwi]

Fond memories (just!) of discharging both barrels of my 20-bore at the dartboard in the mess at Leeming during a guest night. Subsequently explained to the PMC that I had previously removed the shot from the cartridges and received a mild bollocking.

Fast forward many years and a C**b returned onboard Lusty with a live SAM7 that he had found outside Stanley. Luckily he was persuaded to ditch it over the stern before the next mess dinner!

Swing the lamp.

[PARALLEL TRACK]

Fond memories (just!) of discharging both barrels of my 20-bore at the dartboard in the mess at Leeming during a guest night. Subsequently explained to the PMC that I had previously removed the shot from the cartridges and received a mild bollocking.

Fast forward many years and a C**b returned onboard Lusty with a live SAM7 that he had found outside Stanley. Luckily he was persuaded to ditch it over the stern before the next mess dinner!

Swing the lamp.

Melting the newly laid tarmac with a burning piano, cue some even newer tarmac the following week!

JN fires a rocket towards a bunch of guys walking towards the door of OM bar, misses everybody but lead guy with no SA opens the door for the team, rocket duly enters the bar runs along the optics and misses everything else - no problem!

[OmegaV6]

An excellent Pilot / Instructor I worked with on Herks who had a promising career as a FJ but very nearly died playing "carrier landings" ... I believe he slipped on spilt ale and went face first into the end of the table, at a great rate of knots ..... only the fact that several PMRAFNS ladies were in attendance, and sober, saved his life. He did need several major operations and wore the scars from then on.

I was always grateful that the SNCOs Mess did not indulge in such self-inflicting injury type "sports" ....

[ORAC]

IIRC the tarmac outside the mess at Coltishall had a permanent concrete patch amongst the tarmac for piano burning.

An abiding memory is John C***sham with his love of black powder and cannons. Biscuit tins bolted to the underside of the main table and detonated by wire amongst others.

The reception at West Drayton where the lift from the accommodation above opened directly opposite the desk. At a moment when full of dignitaries a ding of the lift arrival. All watch as the door opens to reveal a lone cannon on the floor with the fuze smoking - a loud bang ensues and reception fills with black smoke - the door shuts and the lift retreats back to the floors above....

Buchan - a crew life raft borrowed from LM concealed below the carpet under the top table with a hose to an air bottle under the bottom table. At a moment during desert there is a hiss and the individual tables start to rise and lift like Tower Bridge with the execs vainly grabbing and holding onto their plates and the mess silver as it inexorably starts sliding to the far ends and the floor.

[60024]

IIRC the tarmac outside the mess at Coltishall had a permanent concrete patch amongst the tarmac for piano burning.

Which was all very well until the first use when it was discovered that PSA (?) had incorporated air bubbles into the concrete. When hot, air expands.....:eek:

[MPN11]

1. Northolt. Another Dinghy inflation. Nothing new there, then!

2. West Drayton. The Close-Down Dining In, with domestic appliances hurtling down a few floors into the goldfish pond. (You would have to know the layout to fully understand).

3. Carrier Landings. I heard about a US Mil facility that had deck lights and arrestor wires ... hook the latter with your toes and you didn't fall off the far end.

4. An ATC mate had a scar on his forehead. When asked how he acquired it, he said "I was standing on the mantlepiece keeping out of the way when the AOC cam past on his bicycle and knocked me off with his broom." Adrian, care to confirm, if you're here?

[Mogwi]

Just remembered a story from the late Mogwi senior; bunch of his fellow Seafire pilots after a mess dinner at Yeovs in c1944, decided it would be a bonza jape to flash up the traction engine that had been mending the Tarmac in front of the Wardroom and take it for a ride. After much stoking of boilers and pulling of levers, the ancient beast roared into life and they had great fun driving it around the domestic site. After all, what could go wrong at 4 mph?

Huge interview with the Cdr next morning, when it was discovered that one of the pulled levers had dropped the plough on the rear of the infernal machine and all the roads travelled had a not-so-neat 2 ft deep trench down the middle.

Next stop Arctic convoys!!

[Stuff]

Spoons is a simple dueling game where A challenges B to a game of whalloping the other on the head with a big spoon held in the mouth, each with eyes closed and kneeling. As is only fair A, the challenger, allows B to go first. B does so and achieves a very satisfying 'clunk' as he makes contact between the spoon and A's head. Suitably lulled into a false sense of security, B is now on the receiving end and awaits the return blow from A. What he actually receives is an almighty blow from A's second. Extra points are achieved if A can convince B to play further rounds!

Tom Hardy and his stunt double on the set of Taboo provide an excellent example of the genre:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWH45cGFp3A

mWH45cGFp3A

[MPN11]

Thank you, Stuff ... never encountered that one!

[plans123]

Remember it well.

At Wyton in the late 80s. The young 'gentlemen' decided it would be good to celebrate the Dining In and burn the piano in front of the Mess and start the conflagration with a Canberra starter cartridge. With 720 grammes of cordite it worked well.

One small problem. They hadn't warned the Guard Commander whose men were armed with loaded rifles and thought there was a terrorist attack underway at the Officers' Mess. They turned out the Guard.

The young 'gentlemen' were fortunate not to end up with 7.62mm holes in their Mess Dress. That would have been a jolly jape eh?

I was deputy O I/C Airmans' Club at the time and was ordered to charge a Corporal for throwing a chair through a window in the NAAFI.

I have very mixed feelings about 'high spirits' . . .

I was on the Station Guard force at Wyton the night that happened, but I was manning the sangar up at the camp entrance when they responded...and that incident was not long after the night roof tiles were thrown down at the armed Roving Patrol from the roof of the mess by some 'lubricated gentlemen' :ugh:

[Wander00]

Hmm, Wyton Mess on Taranto Night could be a dangerous place, and there were a few jolly japes with cars at the Towers in the 60s, including a well known officer cadet "borrowing" a sqn cdr's Jaguar and taking it for a spin. Al Deere's staff car (he was Asst Commandant at the time) also made an appearance in the Rotunda ISTR

[MPN11]

The night before Graduation at Feltwell, one of the guys brought his motorcycle in to the Mess and started driving it briskly down the corridor. As he approached the end, where the Bar door was, he applied the brakes. The hall carpet followed him, with no discernible deceleration, as he ploughed in to the end wall, just missing our flt lt RAF Regt DS who was leaving the Bar.

ISTR he wasn't on the Parade the next day.

[peanuts]

The night before Graduation at Feltwell, one of the guys brought his motorcycle in to the Mess and started driving it briskly down the corridor. As he approached the end, where the Bar door was, he applied the brakes. The hall carpet followed him, with no discernible deceleration, as he ploughed in to the end wall, just missing our flt lt RAF Regt DS who was leaving the Bar.

ISTR he wasn't on the Parade the next day.
Hah! Classic! Did he, eventually, graduate?

[FantomZorbin]

MPN11
Were you at our Alma Mater when a portrait was burned ... and its subsequent resurrection at a dining-in night? http://cdn.pprune.org/images/smilies/evil.gif

[MPN11]

FZ ... no, that's a new one for me.

[ORAC]

Anyone remember the speed race at Bawdsey Manor where you ran from the bar, up the main stairs, across to the west wing on the 1st (2nd?) floor; out the window and down the fire escape device and then round the front of the mess and back into the bar through the front door?

I seem to recall the fire escape device attached to the wall consisting of a reel of rope with a propeller type spinner on top to slow the escapee's descent as it played out. My memory is dim but I believe one was supposed to pull it through the window and attack a belt strap before clambering out, but after a few pints a more superman like defenestration took place grabbing the rope and belt in passing.

Of course it was over 40 years ago and my FC course there (the last before it closed as a radar site) did pass in an alcoholic daze as we tried to drink the bar fund dry before it shut.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/16/17/396DE8EE00000578-3841570-Bawdsey_Manor_was_Britain_s_first_radar_station_and_survived _mul-a-32_1476635338262.jpg

[olddog]

Early 70s. RN Carrier (Old ARK ROYAL?) attend dining in night at St Mawgan as guests. Piano disapears from bar leaving a note that it will be used to test catapult at 10W outbound. Piano is valuable - Not a "Burner". Messages sent.
Wessex arrives with underslung load.
"One piano, where would you like it" "On Lawn outside Officers Mess please" Underslung load (spare "burner" piano) dropped fromm about 50 ft - Matchwood!! Meanwhile non burner quietly returned by 3 tonner to back door of the Mess. Epic!

[Danny42C]

It's Not Working (#40),
...whether I am retired or unemployed...
Easy - if you're wondering how you ever found time to go to work - you're retired !
...capola (capoli?)...
"Capolae", I rather think. After my time - sounds thoroughly unhygenic and claustrophobic to me ...... bunker only fettled once a month ? ...... hope they issued you with a good air- freshener ! What was it all for ? - to protect you against wayward aircraft, or to survive the atomic exchange ? (as Laarbruch would be a radioactive charnel house by then, not much point really).

Did you have a sort of flare tube to pop the 'red's out ? How long was your "shift" down there ? Sanitary Arrangements ? Tell us more - I never heard of these things in my life.

Don't think a CA/DF set (they were operated by the Skilled Man/or Maid in the Tower Approach Room [in later pattern Towers], they had a "slave" set upstairs so that one operator could do both Local and Approach when things were quiet).

In general: Those poor old joannas ! On TV saw one hefted a good hundred yards or more by a reconstructed Trebuchet. Struck the "Lost Chord" when it speared in ! ("Caution - Low Flying Pianos ?")

Poor man's version: (Hawarden 1942) "Duty Pilot" (Prune taken off flying for the day) on grass by side of threshold, kitchen chair, Verey pistol and big bag of reds. Fire at will if sees two Spits intending to land on the same spot at same time. :eek: R/T "Local Control" ? - don't be silly ! (mixed bag of Spits, newly assembled Wimpeys and God knows what from ATA plus visitors - often 20 + in circuit. Control not possible). Looks like rain ? - bring your groundsheet. :uhoh:

But they were good days .............

Danny.

[Mogwi]

Anyone remember the speed race at Bawdsey Manor where you ran from the bar, up the main stairs, across to the west wing on the 1st (2nd?) floor; out the window and down the fire escape device and then round the front of the mess and back into the bar through the front door?

I seem to recall the fire escape device attached to the wall consisting of a reel of rope with a propeller type spinner on top to slow the escapee's descent as it played out. My memory is dim but I believe one was supposed to pull it through the window and attack a belt strap before clambering out, but after a few pints a more superman like defenestration took place grabbing the rope and belt in passing.

Of course it was over 40 years ago and my FC course there (the last before it closed as a radar site) did pass in an alcoholic daze as we tried to drink the bar fund dry before it shut.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/16/17/396DE8EE00000578-3841570-Bawdsey_Manor_was_Britain_s_first_radar_station_and_survived _mul-a-32_1476635338262.jpg

Now that reminds me; Hermes post-dinner run - out of the 2VS wardroom 2 scuttle, monkey-swing down the over-hang on metal hand-holds to the flight-deck drainpipe, thence down onto the 3VS quarterdeck (much to delight of quarterdeck mob sentry) and back up to wardroom 2. All done out of sight of land, in the inky, at 18kts. Can't think why we never lost anyone.

[MPN11]

A couple of comments from Waddo in the 80s:

1. My Alternate Local became Primary Local when the horn went, thus allowing the Taceval Team to waste their energies trying to put 'the former Primary' out of business. ;)

2. My Station Bicycle (of the pedal powered persuasion, before you lot start!) was also painted in 'Tone Down Green'. In the interests of conforming with the current style, I added yellow tape to the cross-bar, with letraset saying 'Royal Air Force' and a small roundel transfer from my Airfix spares collection. I never got round to installing the flashing Amber light denoting 'a vehicle regularly employed on the airfield'. It amused me, anyway :)

[Pontius Navigator]

MPN, 'twas your story of which I was thinking.

[MPN11]

MPN, 'twas your story of which I was thinking.
hehe ... good to see your memory is working well :)

My only major Messing high jinks on Exercise was when I managed (as IC DISTAFF) to shut down the entire Station's power supply with the cooperation of DoE. I then received a bleat feom OC Catering that all his freezers were without power. "Don't open them, then" was my helpful response. Hopefully somone connected them to Stn Standby Power eventually :)

oops ... Thread Drift. Sorry!

[BEagle]

I once went back to a former station having been invited to a Guest Night. Later in the evening, it was announced that a car was to be burnt outside....

It seems that not only had a 'hazard assessment' been conducted, but a specially marked location had been designated and a fire engine with crew was standing by...

To be honest, it was utterly childish and embarrassing. None of the spontaneous "That looks like a burner" and subsequent piano torching I recall from earlier times, with the fire crews summoned to douse conflagration and miscreants alike.

Rather an indicator of the direction in which the RAF was heading, I guess...:\

[MPN11]

BEagle ... not the Coningsby one, involving C4, I ope?

[Pontius Navigator]

MPN, noooo, and the car was a goer, the owner's only way to get to work. He was worried about telling the wife

[MPN11]

MPN, noooo, and the car was a goer, the owner's only way to get to work. He was worried about telling the wifeBAD move. :mad:

[Pontius Navigator]

C4 had got across before that.

[ORAC]

IIRC, there a rock ape Flt Lt at Coltishall back in the 1970s who had - somewhere - a stash of C4 or equivalent.

He had a violent antipathy to anyone who left a party early when it was in full swing and would set out to roust them from their rooms. People learnt not to lock their doors - whether alone or accompanied - as this usual resulted in a sharp crack and the door falling inwards sans hinges and lock.

[It's Not Working]

Danny, I think your #88 has escaped escaped from Runway Controllers... to this thread commemorating playing with horses in the mess. I'm not qualified to comment here as my mess's entry requirements took much longer to achieve than a 4-months course at Sleaford Tech, twelve years for me if I remember correctly. That said I must admit I did enjoy your annual hospitality to contest the Bone of Contention.

[Danny42C]

It's Not Working (your #99),

Neither was my brain, it would seem ! Thanks for rescuing the Post and showing it the way home !

Danny.

[Dougie M]

Don't know where this is at but I think the piece is Dante's Inferno


http://i1299.photobucket.com/albums/ag76/dougiemarsh/12065868_1015623Mess%20piano_zpsfdebzoc8.jpg

[Cpt_Pugwash]

Surprised no one has mentioned a certain naval Lt. helo pilot and his homemade bazooka (drainpipe, thunderflash plus tennis ball). 1985, LGC80, got a bollocking for demonstrating it early in the course. Thought that would be the end of it, but no, final course dinner it re-appears, wielded by none other than the guest speaker, the then FSL, Sir John Fieldhouse!
Still have the course photo somewhere.