So What Did You Snack On In The Cold War, Daddy?

[Satellite_Driver]

A friend linked on Twitter to this story from the Yorkshire Post a few months back:

A former bomber pilot has revealed one of the secrets of the Cold War – exploding chocolate teacakes.

The treats were carried onboard V bombers during the 1960s for crews to eat.

But the Tunnock’s teacakes were banned after they exploded at high altitude. (http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/latest-news/top-stories/yorkshire-pilot-s-cold-war-secret-revealed-1-6061810)

...which led to the comment

There is probably a book waiting to be written about the chocolate treats carried aboard nuclear bombers during the cold war. But not by me.

to which another friend replied

You just know someone at Midland Publishing is working on that right now- 'Secret Aircrew Rations of the Cold War, v.1: RAF & USAF'

So, what did get noshed upon aboard the V-Bombers? (Or indeed any other aircraft of the era)? And are there tales of unexpected hazards other than exploding teacakes?

[PFMG]

Getting noshed, or at least noshed off, had a slightly different meaning on the kipper fleet and was mostly something that occurred on exercises and dets various - rum punch for instance or perhaps a stay in Sigonella at the same time as the ladies world championship water polo comps.

Also somewhere outside the VPI bar during Fincastle or JMC was another possibility.

[The Old Fat One]

I predict 90% of the replies on this thread will come from ex kipper mates.

InB4thelotofthem...

HONKERS!!:ok:

edit Damn you PMFG!

[racedo]

Must be just me in seeing priorities of the establisment worried about exploding chocolate cakes, especially when you are carrying buckets of Instant Sunshine. :ugh:.

[Cows getting bigger]

Dairy Cream Sponge :)


http://media.nutratech.co.uk/media/productimages/148/39/586939.png

Other brands are available.

[Fareastdriver]

On the Valiant we had ration heaters. This was a soup can shaped receptacle that could, with luck, heat a can of soup to lukewarm in about four hours. There were two of them, between five crew, or six if you were on a Lone Ranger.

Approaching Nairobi it was decided to jettison remaining packets, wrappers and tins over the side. This was accomplished when we were below 10,000ft by depressurising the cockpit, opening the co-pilots DV panel and shoving everything out.

After we had finished the Crew Chief enquired as to whether we realised that No3 engine was behind, and at the same level as, the cockpit.

We continued without touching No 3 until the final roundout. No sign of any damage, however.

Coming back we collected First Class snacks from BOAC. Their merangues exploded quite well.

[MPN11]

From my safety of my Cold War Bunker in Main Building, I occasionally used to don full IPE and wander down to a stall that did a belting Salami and Salad baguette.

I don't usually eat at lunchtime ... I blame the stress of the job in the AFD. :)


* not all the above is 100% accurate.

[Wensleydale]

As all aircrew should know (?). If you pass a fast moving stream of pure oxygen over grease then it can cause it to catch fire. (Its a warning when using the oxygen bottle refill points in an E-3D - check for grease contamination before filling the bottle). I heard the story about the Nav, on QRA in the back of an F4, who dropped his oxygen mask to take a bite out of his cheese sandwich, only for it to spontaneously catch fire (no doubt the grease in the cheese or the butter took exception to the pure oxygen). I always wondered if this was true, but I always used it as an example of why the E-3D Warning was there.


I wonder how much fat was in the chocolate teacakes?




On a different subject... many years ago I was on South Harris in the Shetland Islands and met one of the Islanders who heard the crash of the Shackleton into a mountain on the island in 1990 and went with some of his colleagues to investigate. The group hurried up the side of the mountain to find the crash site - the first thing that they noticed of the wreckage as it loomed out of the mist was a Dairy Cream Sponge just laying amongst the heather. The crew was between tasks at the time of the crash and no doubt were having their mid-sortie meal.

[camlobe]

Wensleydale,
I remember the nav's burning cheese sarnie story exactly as you describe, and wonder if it had been told in Air Clues.

On a similar note, there was the USN F14 jockey who after startup, suffered severe burns on selecting 100% O2...and having it react to his hair gel. It is a very distressing story. He was only rescued from his cockpit after one exceptionally brave member of the deck crew climbed along the spine to operate the external canopy open and shut down the engines.

Camlobe

[thunderbird7]

Sigonella at the same time as the ladies world championship water polo comps.

Aaaaah! Happy days! What a party :) lucky you had that garden outside your room :)

Back on thread.... tea leaf and breadcrumb chilli for the flight engineer who ate my meal... ;)

Freshly made 'pilot special' omelettes for 29 went down quite well on 'another' Nimrod. And well do I remember the galley skating rink caused by attempts to roast a garlic chicken in the oven....

[Tashengurt]

Babies heads! Well, it was only a matter of time...


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[ACW599]

Slightly off-topic but when did hotlocks go out of the RAF? I can still remember the aroma...

[AGS Man]

I remember the usual promotion exam maths questions. You are a shelter marshall and you have x amount of tins of corned beef and x amount of mars bars to last x amount of men x amount of days... I wonder if the RAF ever bought several million mars bars!

[Ogre]

One exercise I recall being driven to a lonely hut on teh airfield and each of us issued with felt tipped pen - one and polos packet - one. These were to signify a combopen and nerve agent pre-treatment tablets. At regular intervals the tannoy would instruct us to take a nerve agetn pre-treatment, but just one mind or you could overdose. If we were subject to an NBC attack and determined we had the symptoms of poisoning we were to inject ourselves with the pen...

[Wensleydale]

"On a similar note, there was the USN F14 jockey who after startup, suffered severe burns on selecting 100% O2...and having it react to his hair gel."

I also vaguely remember a ban on wearing facial make-up on an aircraft. Oh the fun to be had (not) debriefing some of the female fighter controllers who came on board the aircraft plastered with it on every sortie. I suppose that they could have used it to hide the burns had it happened to them. To paraphrase another thread, "Rules can be broken if critical for flight safety....unless I want to ignore them in which case the book says I can and its an infringement of my civil liberties and I know better and I will ignore it anyway so f*** o**" (and that was just the senior officers).

[Top West 50]

Soup was available but many preferred to hoard it. Some flying clothing lockers at Marham were close to collapse under the weight of Heinz 57.

[teeteringhead]

Does a corned beef curry complete with chapatti and a cup of cardamom flavoured chai balanced on the centre console of a Huey count?

Those who were there will recall ............ :ok:

[During the Cold War, but a hotter interlude .......]

[Fareastdriver]

Not the Cold War but doing airborne VCPs (Vehicle Check Points) in Northern Ireland. Circling around waiting to be called in by our sqaddies we espied an ice cream van so we did our own VCP.

The chocolate flakes don't half make a mess of the boom mike.

[Wander00]

Back in the mid 60s, when 360 had just formed, we were a tad short of airframes so we did some one-week detachments to RRE at Pershore to fly their Canberras. All civvy staffed, so if you were not on the ground by 1630 go somewhere else, H&S rules (or TU intransigence) meant that the civvies would not remove rudder locks when the engines were running, so no flying if the wind was > 25kts. Best of all there was provision in every sortie to drop below 10,000 ft, to enjoy the sarnies and soup thoughtfully provided by the management. Happy days.

[ian16th]

If you pass a fast moving stream of pure oxygen over grease then it can cause it to catch fire.

An Instrument Fitter will know the details, but my understanding of the 'Use No Grease It Causes Explosions' sticker was on ALL gas bottles, not just Oxygen.

The reason being that when a gas is compressed it gets hot and when it expands it goes cold.


When a gas bottle is filling up an a/c system, the bottle is emptying and going cold, the a/c kit is being filled (compressed) and getting warm. I often have seen ice form around the valve of a gas bottle whilethe a/c system was being filled.


The simple example that was used to me, was that when you pumped up bicycle tyres, the pump gets hot.

[OKOC]

I used to like "Fision chips".

I'll get me coat.......

[Basil]

In The Gulf, supplementing in-flight rations with cooked crayfish tails at 1/6d each :ok:

[Schnowzer]

I never managed to eat anything because I could never get into the individually cling filmed finger sarnies with my immersion gloves on! Mind you always quite liked the rat pack oatmeal block on exercises.

[BEagle]

At Sunny Scampton in the late '70s, we had a certain allowance for catering dependent upon the assumed flight time. It was then up to individual crew members to decide how much to 'eat' pre-flight and how much during flight. Have a slap up pre-flight meal and you might be lucky to qualify for a packet of Polos in-flight, for example. It was the co-pilot's lot to carry the aluminium ration box out to the aircraft once the crew's order had been assembled. But if the trip was scrubbed, you had to return the rations...

You could always tell which crews would guess that their trip was going to be scrubbed as they tucked into steak, eggs and chips...

Although one Flt Cdr was rather less than impressed one day. After briefing he decided that he hadn't got time to have a pre-flight meal with his crew - his office work being so very important. "Just order me something for in-flight and I'll see you at the crew bus", he said. So they did - something like 6 x cheese and pickle sandwiches (which they knew he loathed!)....:eek:

[Rossian]

....it was possible with a bit forward planning, some groundcrew help at the galley table and some basic cooking skills to feed 26 people with sausage, bacon, fried egg, grilled tomato c/w orange juice, bread and butter and tea or coffee, inside an hour.

Or on a return transit from USA lobster/prawn starter, steak and garbage bag salad.
The latter was as described - iceberg lettuce (bang the stalk on the table and you can pull out the whole core)sliced. Sliced tomatoes and peppers and cucumber all put into one of the big black rubbish sacks. Tip in one of those Kraft triangular bottles of the dressing of choice, close the neck of the bag and give it all a good shake.
Steaks at one time were done in the "infrared grill" but as it vented into the underfloor bay a number of underfloor warnings and susequent panics led to doing them in the oven- seven at a time.
Easy once you've done it a few times.

The Ancient Mariner

[The Old Fat One]

On a Norway two day Jolly (Bodo) circa 1981, the knocker's (I was one back then) "cold war snack" in the local eatery came in at just under £1000...yep, we were on actuals, which was highly unusual back than as it was nearly always either rates, or **** all because you were on base.

Captain went mental...much good it did him :E

[The Old Fat One]

...incidentally OP, did your original question include the simulator? I take you all know that Nimrod crews got inflight rations - cold snacks AND sandwiches AND a hot meal - when doing 5 hour simulator trips.

Now you know how I earned my pseudonym ;)

[camelspyyder]

It went on long after the cold war - I remember in the last 10 years coming back from Brunswick to ISK in 5 hours flat with a tailwind, and during the sortie the W/OP counted as Doddy munched 3700 calories (all after a monster brekky at the mess hall). And he didn't even go down the back once to make the tea!

I wonder what Doddy's pseudonym is on here?????;)

[racedo]

I wonder what Doddy's alias is on here?????;)

#28 perhaps ?

[Schnowzer]

TOFO,

Then remember DECI, million Lira restaurant bills but a great currency to play poker in.

"Your 5 grand and up another 10!"; "How much is that to me?"; "About 2 quid!"

Marvellous times.

[newt]

Ah Deci! What a place! Only time we ever got free wine with our meal in the mess!

[Bus14]

Reci Ded! I'd hardly describe that as wine though. Awful stuff.

[NutLoose]

Then remember DECI, million Lira restaurant bills but a great currency to play poker in.

"Your 5 grand and up another 10!"; "How much is that to me?"; "About 2 quid!"

I remember going to a restaurant with our crews and looking at the prices and gulping, even after conversion I was still gulping when thinking how much I'd brought out with me, the boss was sitting next to me and said don't worry we will all split the bill, so the boss and myself had a stunning meal, the rest of the crew and engineers having seen the prices went cheap... At the end of the meal the boss stood up announced the best way to do this was pool the bills and split it.... Priceless, expensive come cheap meal :)

Still remember Deci Red bought in 5 litre plastic bottles behind the German bar. Needed to be mixed with something to water it down to a consumable level, paint stripper, thinners, trich, MEK, all come to mind as suitable mixers.

[Geehovah]

Ahh the famous single bottle of squash (of the dilutable variety) between 4 Phantoms heading out on detachment Down South.

I always found flakey pastry sausage rolls and oranges a particular challenge at 25000 feet. The sticky oxygen mask just didn't do it for me!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I recall complaining to OC Catering about the unsuitability of flaky sausage rolls in fighters and getting short shrift. I then used my prerogative as SFSO and complained to Harry Staish - result: proper sarnies (yay!)

[The Old Fat One]

I wonder what Doddy's alias is on here?????
#28 perhaps ?

wash yer mouth out...he's a mere yoof. I is old enuff to be is father.

Doddy munched 3700 calories

****ing lightweight. That's a preflight snack, that is.

[The Old Fat One]

Then remember DECI, million Lira restaurant bills but a great currency to play poker in.

"Your 5 grand and up another 10!"; "How much is that to me?"; "About 2 quid!"

Marvellous times.

Poker in DECI, I wish. It was shoot pontoon (one tousand, two tousand, three tousand, bust) in Cagliari.

But yeah...epic, epic time of my life.

[smujsmith]

My most treasured meal was a "borrowed" US MRE during GW1. Corned beef hash, subtly heated to edible on the tail pipe of an Allison T56 on a desert strip was a real treat. I've struggled to say that babies heads was better, but I can't. MRE corned beef hash goes down as my number one.

Smudge:ok:

[Tashengurt]

My most treasured meal was a "borrowed" US MRE during GW1. Corned beef hash, subtly heated to edible on the tail pipe of an Allison T56 on a desert strip was a real treat. I've struggled to say that babies heads was better, but I can't. MRE corned beef hash goes down as my number one.

Smudge

Better than babies heads! That's treason!


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[Haraka]

I'm sorry ,compared to Compo, MRE's were vile. We found it handy to swop Compo for decent camp beds with the Americans ( remember those awful old U.K. contraptions, supported with what looked like wire coat hangers, that were a b8stard to assemble).

[HTB]

Latter part of Cold War was hotlocks containing any combination of babies heads (+ gravy, spuds and peas), egg bajos, ham bajos, egg and ham banjos. And of course the endex donuts - you can't eat one without licking the sugar off your lips. No in-flight grub on a Tronado sortie (they weren't very long).

Prior to being forced to eat incarcerated (no, thats's not a sort of Italian dish) in a PBF, the V-force provided a much more gentlemanly eating environment, pre-flight in the aircrew feeder, that is. As BEags said, the co-pilot (a thing of duty and a boy forever) was the box-carrier - sandwiches, hard boiled eggs, choccy bars various, squash, undrinkable brown liquid masquerading as coffee. Very rarely did anyone take the cans of soup airborne (I too remember lockers full of the stuff); the Vulcan soup heater needed activating during pre-flight checks to provide anything like a warm outcome, even on lengthy MRR sorties.

Mister B

[teeteringhead]

I'm sorry ,compared to Compo, MRE's were vile. But I did like the mini bottles of Tabasco (other hot sauces are available) in MREs.

Still got a couple left in the desk draw - they enliven boring sarnies amazingly! :ok:

[Barksdale Boy]

HTB


ISTR Joe l'Estrange always took his mulligatawny with him.

[HTB]

BB

Our Plotter (Ken White) occasionally took the soup option, but had to be reminded to pierce the lid before heating (so he got it wrong one time early on, even though he was old enough to know better:E).

I only flew with Joe when he was an OCU instructor (as part of the back end crew u/t), so he probably left the soup on the ground as those sorties were quite short. The rest of us were maxed out had and no time to to eat under the evil eye of the instructors.

Mister B

[twothree]

In the late '60s having completed an exercise helping to defending AKROTIRI, we managed to persuade stores that as we were flying direct back to the UK (with a couple of refuels), and muttering something about V bombers, we were given the said amount of inflight rations. We had "nutty" sandwiches, drinks etc up the ying-yang. We tried, but it beat us in the end. Lack of space and consumption rate in a Sea Vixen just not like the V force.

[Union Jack]

Ahh the famous single bottle of squash (of the dilutable variety) between 4 Phantoms heading out on detachment Down South.

To be fair, I seem to recall that four individual plastic cups were also provided.:)

Jack

[Wensleydale]

"Ahh the famous single bottle of squash"


Only if flying orange forces surely?

[Pontius Navigator]

You just know someone at Midland Publishing is working on that right now- 'Secret Aircrew Rations of the Cold War, v.1: RAF & USAF'

I haven't noticed anyone covered this topic yet.

Out of Offutt we were rationed in much the same way as at home except no pre-flight or post-flight.

Now the SAC butty boxes were far superior to the RAF ones. That is the butty box itself not the contents. The major difference was that each box we stamped with Rationing Stamp and the ominous words "Eat by hh.mm"

I think, without exception, the eat by time was before our scheduled take-off time. Of course that presented no problems to your bomber crew, especially as there was no free pre-flight.

IIRC the sandwich was the standard white cotton wool bread and there was a piece of Kentucky Fried.

However when it came to real boxes nothing could beat the RAAF boxes. The contents too was pretty good with tinned fruit juice.

[Fareastdriver]

We did a single aircraft visit to Practica del Mare with our Puma. On the way back cruising at 1,000 ft just off the Italian Riviera we opened the box to find lots of goodies, fruit and a bottle of Chianti.

When in Rome, so my co-pilot and I had a plastice cup each with out crewman demolishing the rest. It was neccessary because we had our full entitlement of duty free on board.

No effect on us at all. It was the fastest trip from Rome to Cognac, ever.

[PTR 175]

Tinned strawberries and lots of chocolate icecream. I was on my way back from a Gibex and we had a large delivery of the above for our inflight. There must have been a wreck off the coast.

Anyhow, on the way back home to sunny Cornwall the crew got sight of some interesting targets so spent the whole flight 'on task'. The icecream was melting so had to be eaten by the ground crew. We all felt sick:yuk: time we landed after ploughing through that lot along with the hot meals.

[N2erk]

PTR... et al..Amazing, in retrospect, the sacrifices we made for Queen and Country!:ok:

[Wader2]

Squash and four cups reminds me:

We were out of Aden for Gan and inflight did us proud with nutty box eat packed with 'high altitude' bite size sarnies, just your usual fare of course, salmon, tuna and the like.

After we had all had our fill, the Boss asked for some squash. Again they had done use proud - 7-crew and 7 bottles of squash. I opened a bottle, poured the Boss a cup and passed it up -CONCENTRATED. It came back for dilution but of water not a drop. The Scampton aircraft knew to take water but from Coningsby this was news to us.

Next, back at Cottesmore we used to get the tiniest kiora style waxed squash made up in inflight. Ideal if you didn't want a pee in 5 hrs. Anyway someone's wife must have run a tuppaware party and all our inflight stuff was repacked in tuppaware: sandwiches in sealed boxes and large containers for the squash. We then had reuseable plastic tubing rather than disposable straws. Inserted in the lid of the container the whole was air tight. Right. By top of climb the cabin pressure reduced and the squash was then squirted over the plotter's chart.

The tuppaware didn't last long as attrition (theft) was pretty high.

Then on Nimrods, the usual trick was for the SAR jet to deploy to Prestwick if ISK winds were going out of limits. Duly deployed, crew settled in hotel and sitting down to lunch waiting their fillet steaks. Moments later they was scrambled. One HK dashes into the kitchen, grabs the pile of steak and off.

The Navy is left to collect their luggage and pay for room and board :)

Moving one some years to the Shack, airborne with the usually trunk for a 15 hour borex, water boiling as we left the circuit (same as other aircraft reaching top of climb) the galley slave looked for the cups - no cups. The duty rats man hadn't checked the trunk.

CM, using a bit of inspired logic, emptied a couple of tins to serve as cups. Once down to landing weight we departed our task area for, IIRC Leuchars, for a practice diversion and a request for a load of cups :)

Also Shacks, we deployed from ISL to our FOB at St Mawgan. Deployed by train. We set off from Aberdeen on the sleeper for the marathon journey and discovered a few minutes later that the train hadn't been provided with any milk. At an early stop the same CM gets out, legs it to the platform café, grabs a crate of milk and legs it back to the train saying "You're British Rail, sort it".

[BOING]

Never bothered much with the in-flight but the toasted egg sandwiches back in the V-force cafeteria were not to be missed.


.

[morrisman68]

A highly reliable ex-aircrew member source (should such a thing be imaginable) spoke of a Lightning squadron challenge to achieve max altitude ere the chocolate marshmallow exploded. Said source - OK, my brother - was unable to recall any record. Can anyone out there comment, please? If you could, it'd amuse my dear brother, now 78 and gripped by Parkinson's Disease - a tragic irony for one who once lived (or died) by his speed and wits, I suspect. PMs welcome.

Thank you,

Ben Potter

[Imagegear]

It may have been attempted to determine the altitude as per this link - but was not on lightnings in this case.

Exploding Marshmallows (https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/retired-raf-bomber-reveals-secret-2275633)

IG

[Busta]

A perfect Vulcan day in the seventies :- Early morning start, planning, briefing then to the feeder for full English. Then a solid delay Wx/ A/C. After 3 hours back to the feeder for delay meal.
Eventually a Good Clean Scrub and off to the bar.

Little wonder we we plump!

[morrisman68]

Aforementioned reliable source aka my brother was a co-pilot on the Valiant, but definitely mentioned Lightnings on account of the achievable rate of climb. I've sent him the link, anyway - thanks!

[Janda]

In my early days on 8 Sqn Shacks I was responsible for the rations. Following a very early briefing for a 12 hour sortie we went to the aircraft and loaded the rations. After an uneventful take off the spare radar went to make the first round of drinks. Alas he could find no cups to make the drinks in. Guess where fingers were pointed. Solution unscrew light coverings and use the globes as drinking vessels. There were only 6 so quick turnarounds required. Took a long time to recover from that.

[ex-fast-jets]

As a young, 16-year old CCF(Navy) cadet, I went on a camp to Ballykelly in about 1966.

We were flown in a Shackleton - Mk2, Phase 3 - important because the Mk2 had a tail wheel, so was still a "proper" Shack - but Phase 3 meant it had an upgraded galley. Hope I have got that right - no doubt some expert out there will correct me if I am wrong!!

My lasting memory, other than being able to sit at the front playing with the gun to shoot down any Messerschmitts that I saw, or having a doze in the "tail-gunner's" position at the back - still looking for Messerschmitts - was being given a steak sandwich very shortly after take-off, and eating for most of the 8 hours we were airborne.

Heaven for a 16-year old!!

[TEEEJ]

This chap reviews and samples military ration packs and meals ready to eat from all over the world.

DykpMcrVtR0

3wo4b4oFn0g

ZsSSo1n7220

Lots more at following link.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2I6Et1JkidnnbWgJFiMeHA/videos

[diginagain]

Managed a rather splendid meal for 12 assorted Army aircrew on someone else's detachment AMEX. At the Swiss International Airshow In A Field at Yverdon in August 1990, 18 Sqn sent a cab and we got friendly with one of the Loadies. We were sharing the same hotel in Lausanne, and on the last night said chap let slip the room number where he and a crate of Wobbly were ensconced. Rather than the free Wobbly we went to town in the restaurant and billed it all to his room, much to the surprise of his Boss at check-out the next morning.

[ex-fast-jets]

Now that, TEEEJ, takes me to a very different memory, many years on......

MRE's - colloquially known as Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.......

Can I say that now?............

I was visiting Fort Irwin in the Mojave Desert California to watch an Army Armoured Attack at the US National Training Center which we were supporting with air....

I left Nellis/Vegas in the early hours, drove to Fort Irwin, got into a HMMVW and drove out into the inky blackness with NVG's to be in place on the top of a viewing ridge for the dawn attack. The sunrise over the desert was quite amazing - but I was introduced to a Breakfast MRE heated on the engine block of the HMMVW.

I have to say that it was really very good! Better than a McDonalds B'fast burger!

The food on the Shack was better - but the scenery at the National Training Centre California and the weather there was better!

Both give good memories, though!

[Toadstool]

Spent many a night shift on the Inner German Border eating cheese and ham toasties.

[Mickj3]

Malta 1972. The Galley in the newish 203 Sqn Nimrods were considered so palatial and the flight rations so sumptuous (rumored to be supplied by Fortnum & Masons) that the star prize in that years Xmas draw was a meal for two in a Nimrod.

[MG]

Managed a rather splendid meal for 12 assorted Army aircrew on someone else's detachment AMEX. At the Swiss International Airshow In A Field at Yverdon in August 1990, 18 Sqn sent a cab and we got friendly with one of the Loadies. We were sharing the same hotel in Lausanne, and on the last night said chap let slip the room number where he and a crate of Wobbly were ensconced. Rather than the free Wobbly we went to town in the restaurant and billed it all to his room, much to the surprise of his Boss at check-out the next morning. That’s a proper sh*t’s trick to do to someone you don’t really know.

[Krystal n chips]

I am aware of one Vulcan crew, who, after departing Valley, were " less than impressed " when they found their in flight rations consisted of jam sarnies. This was nothing personal on the part of the cook, it was just unfortunate that he was possibly in the wrong trade.

Egg and ham banjos have been mentioned ......these culinary delights ensured the NAAFI profits rose considerably, by pure coincidence of course, when engaged defending the nation, possibly because we felt it prudent to be self sufficient in a HAS rather than be reliant on these congealed concoctions that could be used in lieu of PRC. Indeed, it's possible some HAS's were pre stocked with liquid refreshment on the day prior to the early morning alarm call.

However, one of the more memorable local broadcasts, delivered with some gravitas I should add, was one that informed us, that, under NO circumstances were we to feed the police dogs said banjos.....apparently, this had to do with the dogs welfare, which was very considerate really, albeit a shade worrying that the RAF felt our digestive systems didn't quite warrant the same concern.

[spitfirek5054]

I can remember giving a RAFP dog[4 legged variety], San Miguel at RAF Kai Tak rugby club,I think he had 2 1/2 pints,and when they left ,the dog went from lampost to lampost on both sides of the street.Great days.

[Q-SKI]

C Flight 230 Sqn back in the Gutersloh days had the best chefs by far, everyone looked for an excuse to drop in on exercise, nice change from babies heads and honkers stew!

[charliegolf]

C Flight 230 Sqn back in the Gutersloh days had the best chefs by far, everyone looked for an excuse to drop in on exercise, nice change from babies heads and honkers stew!

I was there when they refurbed the space in the crewroom behind the coffee bar into a kitchen. All shiny stainless steel plus 'dishwashmachinen'. If that wasn't enough, a cook in whites turned up every lunchtime. Heaven.

CG

[PapaDolmio]

I'm sorry ,compared to Compo, MRE's were vile. We found it handy to swop Compo for decent camp beds with the Americans ( remember those awful old U.K. contraptions, supported with what looked like wire coat hangers, that were a b8stard to assemble).

Some MREs I've found OK, worst stuff ever was when we blagged some US Humanitarian Aid Rations off some USAF Spec Ops guys in Brindisi.

No meat products at all so they can be eaten by any religion (and I guess when you're really really hungry), lentil casserole anyone?

The USAF in-flight from Al Udeid used to be pretty dire as well.

[diginagain]

Loady-mate was a retread from the Army Air Corps who I knew rather well, and as such I was aware that if the boot was on the other foot he'd not blink an eye at such an opportunity. That, and discovering that the Chinny commander had been handed a large number of beer-tokens by the local RAFA-rep, intended for the BritMil participants, that never reached the crews of two Lynx and a Gazelle....

Like you say; That’s a proper sh*t’s trick to do to someone you don’t really know.

[MG]

In that case, all’s fair in love and war.

[West Coast]

Now that, TEEEJ, takes me to a very different memory, many years on......

MRE's - colloquially known as Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.......

Can I say that now?............

I was visiting Fort Irwin in the Mojave Desert California to watch an Army Armoured Attack at the US National Training Center which we were supporting with air....

I left Nellis/Vegas in the early hours, drove to Fort Irwin, got into a HMMVW and drove out into the inky blackness with NVG's to be in place on the top of a viewing ridge for the dawn attack. The sunrise over the desert was quite amazing - but I was introduced to a Breakfast MRE heated on the engine block of the HMMVW.

I have to say that it was really very good! Better than a McDonalds B'fast burger!

The food on the Shack was better - but the scenery at the National Training Centre California and the weather there was better!

Both give good memories, though!


Due to the MRE’s ability to stop you up (especially peanut butter and crackers) MRE were also known as Meals Refusing to Exit. I went days without crapping in Africa and the ME. Maybe that’s a good thing.

[BEagle]

Having got utterly fed up with those Minevals when you would be called out at some ungodly time of night only to rush in and wait for a jet, with neither breakfast nor exercise rats, I decided to keep a frozen sausage sandwich in my home freezer. By the time all the headless chickens had stopped buggering you about, it would have thawed perfectly in a lower leg pocket and at least I wouldn't starve....

One day I fished it out and was about to unwrap it when some exercise inject foiled me. But half an hour later I was able to tuck in....

…..only to discover that someone, who to preserve anonymity I will refer to as Jerry U**n, had laced the thing with tabasco. It was hotter than hell, but I feigned nonchalance..... Revenge shall be mine!

Thus it was a little later when, after making himself a cup of green pea soup, Jerry discovered that half a tube of Sweetex didn't really improve the flavour!

Best V-force in-flight was the 'Po'boy sandwich' from the Offutt SAC flight kitchen. It resembled a rugby ball made of bread filled with all manner of meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato and heaven knows what else. Plus a bag of 'sour cream flavoured ripple chips'...which were 'different'.

Worst Brize in-flight? The infamous Robirch pork pie - it was always so stale that if you shook it, you could hear the ball of congealed tail and trotters rattling around inside like a dice in a cup.....

…..

[Auxtank]

Worst Brize in-flight? The infamous Robirch pork pie - it was always so stale that if you shook it, you could hear the ball of congealed tail and trotters rattling around inside like a dice in a cup.....
…..

But, with that peculiar trait, in a tight spot, they could be used as a very effective emergency gyro-compass - always aligning to Melton Mowbray.
They tasted awful - but at least you'd get home.

[Pontius Navigator]

Beagle *re*?

[PapaDolmio]

But, with that peculiar trait, in a tight spot, they could be used as a very effective emergency gyro-compass - always aligning to Melton Mowbray.
They tasted awful - but at least you'd get home.

Similar then to the infamous 'Penny's Pies' that were a regular feature of white boxes of horror emanating from in-flight at Lyneham. One unfortunate C130 captain finding a feather in his chicken and mushroom which sparked a comment from either the FE or ALM 'Well at least you know it is chicken'.

I was also a bit suspicious of the pink stuff that inhabited the inside of the sausage rolls, so much so that I used to carefully dissect them and remove said pink stuff and replace with the contents of a packet of crisps- prawn cocktail being my particular favourite. Don't get me started on fruit polos.

To be fair, most of the food that came out of Lyneham was actually pretty good.