Help Me Make A Major Life Decision

[Nvrgvup]

I will try and keep this as short as possible as I know you don’t care about my life story.

I started flying fixed wing when I was young and got to about 100 hours before I stopped due to running out of money.

I recently started flying helicopters in hopes of one day becoming an EMS pilot and avoiding the constant negativity I seemed to read about in commercial fixed wing aviation.

Well I’m now about 100 hours into flying helicopters and have to say I am very uncomfortably flying them. The looming fact that I have 1 second to lower the collective or else I’m dead in an engine failure is something that is really unnerving. I have zero confidence in my abilities, and feel my instructor(s) have very hazardous attitudes (flying over gross, questionable weather, etc). With something as basic as that, how can I expect myself to land a helicopter on a highway in the middle of the night in windy conditions with a med crew barking orders from the back if I can’t get over the quirks of an R22.

So I’m sitting here thinking, perhaps I would be better as a fixed wing pilot, as I’ve never felt the hesitation and distressing feelings as I do now. As I’m sure all of you are aware, HEMS flying seems very rewarding, the pay is descent, and the schedule is fantastic. I honestly feel as though I’d be better matched as a fixed wing pilot, but don’t necessarily want to say goodbye to all of the “perks” that EMS has to offer. I know a lot of people like to harp on fixed wing as being boring, but right now it seems like a saving grace as to what I feel like right now, but maybe I’ll regret that 10 years into my career.

It’s hard trying to find anything about fixed wing EMS, but is that something someone can get into with winning the job lottery? Is the schedule and pay, and overall lifestyle the same? I’m having a hard time finding the requirements or a recommended path per-say with the best type of jobs to lead up to it.
I really feel like I need a substantial break in my training to cool my nerves and figure out what I’m doing, but I’m at a 141 school and they want me here practically everyday flying. I know the next crucial step is becoming a CFI, and feel that if I need to stop flying for whatever reason, they will have very little interest in me on my return.

Any advice you could give to lift my spirits or maybe some questions to help me decide which path to take would be great.

[topendtorque]

Your pen name says it all, don't give up.

It is not good that you are exposed to clumsiness in your training, but it is good that you can see it and recognise it. Many don't experience it until too late through no fault of their own.
Try to discuss these issues with your peers, learn to map read them and work your way around them.

Like falling off a log once you peg it all and the best way to do that is master the basics, then the advanced stuff becomes easier later..

tet.

[albatross]

For starters it sounds like you need a new flight school and new instructors.

[dubbleyew eight]

I second the suggestion by albatross

[before landing check list]

Different helicopter may help.

[industry insider]

Albatross is right, I "third" his suggestion.

Finish your training, what you are scared of is part of the skill of being a helicopter pilot. Have confidence in your abilities, you have 100 hours, you are well on the way. Enjoy the skill of a good EOL.

There are plenty of EMS operations which fly twin engine helicopters, you should strive towards and visualize yourself as flying a twin only.

Don't give up, you have come this far. Relax, enjoy your training with a new school and move forward.

[rjtjrt]

You need a new training school, as others have said.
When choosing the new school, select one that does not use the R-22.
(I trained on R-22, and love it, but a lot find it a worry, and once you have that opinion of it, you will never be happy till you change).
The H300 is a much more relaxing machine to train in - auto's in that, to an EOL, are very much more civilized.
Do not give up till you at least try a new school and helicopter.
Good luck
John

[Anthony Supplebottom]

A while back there was someone who brought-up an issue about a fear of flying alone (I think) and if I recall correctly there were some comments which could have been useful but - I cannot find the thread!

However, these may be of interest:

http://www.pprune.org/rotorheads/221178-pre-flight-nerves.html

http://www.pprune.org/rotorheads/19283-fear-heights.html

[Devil 49]

but if you PM me, I might be able to refer you to some operators around Atlanta. Many medics fly fixed wing as well, although none I work with have done so recently.

I agree with the suggestions that you try a different aircraft, instructor or school. You might not be any more comfortable flying with those changes, but you shouldn't fly with anybody who doesn't inspire your confidence. You don't have to like your instructor, but trust is a necessity.

Helos are very, very different compared to airplanes, you fly a helicopter all the time. At some point one stops thinking about flying the aircraft and start thinking about how you want the aircraft to fly. Then helos are easier than airplanes.

You mention being uncomfortable with power failures... I think every working pilot is, I know I'm always planning where I'm putting it down when the power fails as I fly. Always. The anxiety/fear diminishes with experience and training as you become more comfortable with your planning. I know where I'm going, how I'm going to get there, the process is almost sub-conscious now, and has been so for a very long time. I do get the dry mouth when the terrain/situation is unfavorable and not reasonably avoided.

As far as HEMS, it's an okay gig, the novelty wears off pretty quickly, it's just another flying job except it's local. The situations are extremely variable quality of life base to base, or program to program. Generally home every night, working with good people results in a better family life than "Uncle Daddy", living out of a bag and gone for weeks at a stretch. The schedule is okay ( I hate splitting the week day/nights) but 7&7 or 14&14 is not unusual, you can get it elsewhere. The money's better in other realms of the industry, for instance I'd be making about 150% more in the Gulf had I continued in that track.

[lima500d]

I am really disturbed by what you have to say nvrgvup, after 100hrs you shouldnt be fazed by the R22.
I am of the opinion that you should have a very good grasp on the R22 by now and should be or are being very close to having a great time with your training. Have a few hours with someone, or multiple someones, different.
Yep, even try a different aircraft type as suggested.
I think the main point here that others are making VERY CLEAR is you MUST go to a different flight school if you want to become any type of Heli pilot.


Good luck, I look forward to your updates

[fly911]

Flying helicopters is the best occupation in the world. Finding the right employer is a little more challenging. Turbine engines rarely fail and usually a helicopter will give you some warning before it lets you down. Safety is something you will need to work into your daily life. Try not to let outside pressures effect your decision making. It's no fun spending the night in a field somewhere, but is fun thinking back on how you avoided disaster. Don't live your life in fear of dying. While you are alive, all that fear will have been wasted. Once you're dead, it's the furthest thing from your mind.

[J.A.F.O.]

Coming onto the Rotorheads forum and asking whether you should fly fixed wing or rotary may skew the answers slightly. Perhaps that's what you wanted.

EMS, as far as I'm aware, is not easy work to get into and demands a great deal of a pilot for less pay than many corporate and a large number of fixed wing pilots make.

I don't know whether you already really know the answer and, while I agree that perseverance is generally a virtue, sometimes continuing down a path that isn't for you only makes the final decision more difficult. What others would choose is of little consequence because they aren't you. If doing something feels wrong for you then how will doing more of it make you feel better?

I don't really know enough about you to help but it seems like you may be looking for others to rationalise what you already know to be a mistake.