Adjusting to Civvy Street

[Saintsman]

Not my words unfortunately, stolen from another site.

Things to consider whilst adjusting to Civvy street:

1. Speech:
•Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred; it is not 0530 or 1400. It is 5:30am or 2 in the afternoon.
•Words like "pit", and "PT" will get you weird looks; use bed, workout, get used to it.
•"F**k" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now. Try "um" instead.
•It's a phone, not a radio: conversations on a phone do not end in "Roger that" or "Out"
•People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from NCHQ with the 2 and a half or that you spent a deployment with the RN.... no more acronyms

2. Style:
•Do not put creases in your jeans.
•Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
•Do not refer to your suits numerically; your best jacket and trousers are not your number 1s
•Wearing a hat indoors does not make you a Wren; it makes you like the rest of the world.

3. Women:
•Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal. Neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
•Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense". It makes you a retard.

4. Personal accomplishments:
•In the real world, being able to do lots of press-ups will not lead to automatic promotion or help your career in any way.
•Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
•How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

5. Drinking:
•NATO is an organisation, not the way you want your tea made
•In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you a written warning (or sacked), not a pat on the back from your boss.
•Shouting "Naked bar" at your work's Christmas party will have no effect.
•That time you drank a bottle of Absinth and shat in your pal's suitcase is not a conversation starter.

6. Bodily functions:
•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional".
•The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny regardless of how big it was, how much it burned, how much it smelled..... or how clear the photo is.
•You can't make fun of someone for their disability, no matter how funny the ailment is.

The human body:
•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
•If your arse is sore, don’t ask your colleague on the next desk if he can see what’s wrong with it.

7. Spending habits:
•One day, you will have to pay for the things that keep you alive: heat, light, shelter, food, doctor, etc, etc
•Buying a £30,000 car on a £16,000 a year salary is a really, really stupid idea.
•Spending money on video games instead of on nappies is wrong.

8. Interacting with civilians:
•Making fun of your neighbour to his face for being fat will not make you popular in the neighbourhood.

9. Real jobs:
•They really can fire you. On the flip side you really can quit.
•Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember they really can quit too. You can't tell your secretary to "follow it down" if she drops her pen. And taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
•Sport is no longer part of your working week. Wednesday afternoons are for work, just like every other afternoon.

10. The Law:
•Your civvy boss, unlike your CO, can't save you and probably won't. In fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after he finds out you've been arrested.
•Even McDonald's do background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job.
•Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested and/or fired, not yelled at on Monday morning before being asked if you won.

11. General knowledge:
•You can in fact really say what you think about the Queen in public.
•Pain is not weakness leaving the body. It's just pain.
•They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are. Be polite.

Finally
12. Read the contracts before you sign them - remember what happened the first time.....!!!!!!

[NutLoose]

ROFL, thanks made my day.

[Courtney Mil]

Ah. It all becomes clear. I wish you'd told me that five years ago.

[Willard Whyte]

It seems that I was fairly well adjusted to civvy street throughout my time in the raf.

[Courtney Mil]

...yes. We'd heard that!

[innuendo]

If you want someone to pass the butter, do not describe it. :}

[CoffmanStarter]

... also lookout for those lying cheating ba$tard$ who would stab you in the back on their way up the greasy pole ... and like to call themselves "leaders" :mad:

[Courtney Mil]

...is that in the RAF on in civvy street? I can think of a few.

[CoffmanStarter]

... higher concentration of LCB's in chivvy street :mad:

[Wensleydale]

6. Bodily functions:
•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing
hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional".


Reminds me of when my daughter was about 3 years old. She was sat in her car seat next to Grandma in the rear of the car when the sound of a little "trump" came from her corner of the vehicle.

"And what do we say?", asked Grandma.

Back came the loud reply: "Badger!".

Strangley enough it was me that got the blame from management that night.... even although Grandma had not got a clue of what it was all about.

[ricardian]

I must have led quite a sheltered life in the RAF 1959-73, on the other hand it brings back memories of my time attached to the Army 1968-70

[Herod]

The bit about clocks is only half true. I've had several appointment cards arrive with 04:00pm and suchlike. When I query it, they can't see what is wrong. Doh!!"

[Reverserbucket]

Or 0900 in the morning ;)

[Roadster280]

Well the above is true, and funny. But taking the general headings, you can certainly use most of them to your advantage.

1. Speech:
The ability to speak authoritatively sets you apart from those that can't.

2. Style:
The military way of polishing shoes and ironing clothes sets you apart. No need to look like a window model or a guardsman, but you know you will feel bad if you don't iron your shirt.

3. Women:
Got me there!

4. Personal accomplishments:
You'll have done more than most in civvy street. The boss is raining **** down on you, and deadlines are expiring. "Well, at least no c*** is shooting at me" puts it into perspective.

5. Drinking:
Use this skill sparingly. When the office gob****e starts at it at the Christmas party, quietly drink him under the table and put him in a taxi home. It will be remembered.

6. Bodily functions/human body:
The ability to go for hours without a pee comes to all who've been to mess dinners. You know you can sit through the boring presentation without being the slackbladder who needs to pay a visit just as the CEO gets up to do his bit.

7. Spending habits:
You'll likely earn a lot more. Every weekend a millionaire's weekend. Spend the lot. As long as you can afford it.

8. Interacting with civilians:
Don't make fun of them, let them do it themselves. Rise above. It will be noticed.

9. Real jobs:
Have the moral courage to speak up when the wrong decision is being made. Exercise the tact you learned in the mob when the OC f**ked up the orders. "Are you sure about that boss? What about XYZ?"

10. The Law:
Keep the right side of it. You managed X yrs service without getting caught.

11. General knowledge:
You've been to more places and done more things. Feel free to drop the occasional one in, but don't make a habit of "When I...". Try "Yes, I did something like that in the Army, what we found was best was XYZ..."

Finally
12. Read the contracts before you sign them - remember what happened the first time.....!!!!!!

Yep!!

[diginagain]

I can relate to 3 b.

[Andu]

All points, (some more than others), all too familiar. The "speaking in acronyms" is by far the most poignant (if that's perhaps not quite the right word).

That particular point was brought home to me years after I left and went to stay for a weekend with a close friend who'd stayed in - all the way to multi-star rank. I found myself struggling to follow his conversation, for, (it seemed to me), he couldn't string a sentence together without inserting multiple TLAs and MFLAs* between the odd definite or indefinite article - and it dawned on me that he was speaking exactly as I once had.

My first, earth-shattering "discovery moment" after getting out was when I realised that I could say "no" to a boss. I was offered an interstate transfer that I really didn't want so said "no". I agonised for weeks after knocking it back because it then occurred to me that, if it turned out to be the wrong decision, I couldn't fall back on the tried and true old Service tradition of blaming "those bastards at DPO". If it turned out to be the wrong decision, I would have no one to blame but myself.

(*MFLA = meaningless FOUR letter acronyms)

[sisemen]

And I thought that the reason they didn't understand how to make tea "NATO standard" was because I'd moved to Oz.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Remember that you can no longer relieve stress by screaming around at supersonic speed and blowing sh!t up. Try yoga.

If they want a war story, they'll ask. They won't ask often. And half the time they don't mean it and are just being polite.

Yes, you did have more fun in a weekend than they'll have in a lifetime, but pretend to be interested in their stories anyway.

Try to avoid answering questions with a simple "Yes" or "No", especially when the question lasted 5 minutes. If you get asked 5 questions at once, don't answer "Yes, No, No, Yes, Yes" as they will have forgotten what questions 2-4 were (or even that they asked them). Just say "I'll have to consider that carefully". You can now loaf off for anywhere between 15 minutes and 3 weeks depending on employer, then come back and say "Yes/No".

Roadster - 5. Drinking - very true :ok:
.

[NutLoose]

•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

Hahahahahaha.... I can remember sitting at the Engine desk playing with the Boroscope trying to get it working prior to going out to check an engine and someone asking to look through it, peering through it he asked "WTF is that?"
"My left testicle" I replied :E having shoved it down my trousers under the desk to test it.

[Old-Duffer]

BUT ... you can occasionally use your service experience to put one over on a bumptious character.

I worked for an international business consultancy and one of the 'partners' was an ex-US Marine aviator. He made regular and frequent use of the phrase; 'when I was in the 'Nam' - which I understood to mean: 'during my deployment to the Vietnam Theatre of Operations ...' - before imparting some pearl of wisdom.

Eventually, after one rather tedious encounter, I 'innocently' asked him when he had been in Vietnam. The response was something like: 'I was there in 1970-71'. 'Oh' says me 'I went there in early '67'. 'What u mean' he retorts 'there weren't no limies there'. 'There were in '67' says I with a wry smile and a tap on the side of my nose. I, of course, didn't expand on the fact that I was there for a very temporary purpose and was careful to keep my head down throughout.

Surprisingly, thereafter there were fewer references to south east Asia.

Old Duffer

[ExRAFRadar]

Long time out now but the one abbreviation I cannot get out of my head is U/S.

I still say, without thinking, "The network is U/S"

Took me about 10 years to not add "No ETRO"

[27mm]

Apparently I upset some ladies in our office when I referred to our broken photocopier as being "tits up".....

[Ex RN ATC]

Of course the easiest way of adjusting to civvy street is to get a job with a company that only employs ex-military.

The company I work for is exactly that - all the best bits from the military such as flexibility, banter and work ethic without the bulls**t that went with it.

[CoffmanStarter]

Not good form to refer to Work Experience types as Gash Shags :\

[teeteringhead]

"Well, at least no c*** is shooting at me" ... one is reminded by that line of a story about the late, great Keith Miller (Aussie all-rounder of the 50s and wartime RAAF Mossie pilot) who was being interviewed about "Stress in Professional Sport" or similar.

KM: Nah mate! No stress in sport ... when one donk's crook and you've got a 109 up yer @rse - [B]THAT's stress - but not playing bl%%dy cricket ........!" :ok:

[1.3VStall]

That would be the same Keith Miller who was leading his team out to field at the SCG.

As they walked onto the pitch a voice from behind him said "Skip, there's twelve of us!"

Back came the immediate response " Right, one of you f**k off, the rest scatter".:ok:

[Tashengurt]

Spending two days building a mess cannon/setting up a practical joke may be frowned upon.


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[teeteringhead]

That would be the same Keith Miller

..... and who hit a six out of the ground that was still climbing when it hit the stands ........

...... and who (allegedly!) "shared a sofa" (wonderful phrase) with Princess Margaret .....

...... and who (allegedly) knocked on his Captain's door in DJ at 2215 saying "Just to let you know I was in bed as requested at 2200 - I'm going out now!"

[thing]

I've been out for 17 years now and the one thing that still winds me up is the lack of understanding of the term 'punctuality' amongst my civilian brethren.

You may think the following is a flight of fancy but it's perfectly true. I'm a college lecturer amongst other things and the first assignment I had was to teach a particular subject starting at 9 am. Which I did. To a completely empty classroom. They drifted in in dribs and drabs and then moaned about having missed some important point. I suggested they might like to be seated before 9 am in future.

Shortly after I was invited to the vice pricipals office and asked to actually start the 'real teaching' at around 9.30 'to give them a chance to get their brains into gear.' I wearily suggested I go one better and start at 10.00. He said that was fine.....

I lasted two terms and left before I went totally mad.

[Andu]

I recognise that, thing. The Andus are (in)famous among our friends for turning up to social occasions at the time we were asked to arrive, and not "fashionably late", (anything from 30 minutes to an hour later) as (apparently) they expect us to, and as damn near everyone else does.

"U/S" is one acronym that persists in the Andu family too, and one that seems to be understood by most non ex-military people, although "karked", especially among our Italian friends and rellies, who can relate that word to its root language, comes a close second.

[Willard Whyte]

I've never enjoyed starting the day at an 0-something o'clock.

[November4]

I work with a civi handling company and an aviation training provider. You would have thought that they would understand pan, pax, FTR etc. Oh no they have ramp, pap FTJ (fail to join)

[thing]

The Andus are (in)famous among our friends for turning up to social occasions at the time we were asked to arrive, and not "fashionably late", (anything from 30 minutes to an hour later) as (apparently) they expect us to, and as damn near everyone else does.

I've never understood that. If I'm invited somewhere for 1900 I turn up at 1900. If they wanted me to arrive half an hour later why not just say 'turn up at 1930.'? Are these people as relaxed in their work lives?

[cornish-stormrider]

WTF - what happened to five minutes before five minutes before??

or was that just us erks?
civvy street - you don't half meet a lot with the term work ethic means to them some sort of minority - specially round my neck of the woods.

"it's not my job"
"I'm on break"
" home time"

skivving ****bags - I do miss the one in all in ethos and the working cameraderie...
oh and the honesty about whether you'd done/not done/ballsed up something..

[oldpax]

I left the services in 1968 and after a spell in the UK learnig the power station trade left for overseas and have had many jobs in different countries .If your in this business you then become a "Industrial mercenary"working for the highest salary you can get.Much the same as being in the military in many ways as sometimes you live on camps where behaviour is similar to that of the military mind with many a practical joke played on bosse or workers alike.
I dont see it any different from when I was in the "Mob"!!!!
Have a look at www.rihandvets.proboard (http://www.rihandvets.proboard) .com for examples!!

[Rick777]

The first airline I worked for after I retired in 1988 had two planes hit with surface to air missiles and fired guys for refusing to fly into an airport that was under mortar attack. Sometimes they really really shooting at you as a civie.

[PICKS135]

WTF - what happened to five minutes before five minutes before??

Have always stuck to this since demob. Even turned up at the airport an hour before check in opened. Why ?? Said work colleagues [all apart from the ex RAF cook who just stood nodding].

Always turn up at the Docs 10 minutess before appointment time, even though you know its going to be at least 20 minutes late,

[Pontius Navigator]

Maybe they all rely on their appointments scheduler that defaults to a warning 15 minutes before. Alarm goes and they have to finish off and get ready but made no allowance for actually getting somewhere.

Sisemen mentioned how Aussies didn't understand NATO Standard (understandable) but 'when I was . . .' they had two other wonderful freebies but I can't remember the precise wording.

One was a regular hand out of squashes and soft drinks as we were working in a hot environment. The other was even better, I think it was called a 'Thrift Issue' when surplus tea/sugar/coffee was issued to sections.

Now that was style.

[dragartist]

This really is one of the funiest threads I have read on here. I now work for a civy outfit and have been able to instill a little discipline. we now have NATO std tea and coffee. 24 hr clock and some good banter. I was able to find a position for an ex colleague. They are now keen to employ others, having recognised the qualities we bring. (apart from my still poor spelling). Our masters challenged us to bring forward the completion date of a job by 3 months suggesting we went on a "war footing". they apear to be joining in with the banter. I have had to threaten to put a few defaulters on jankers or take one outside to be shot just to frighten the rest. productivity looks to be increasing.

To be fair there is a bit of the rose coloured specs in some of the posts. I did come accros a number of "leg irons" in my time. there are those that will and wont in all walks of life. particularly in certain trade groups. I found PJIs the worst. this is very much a generalisation as there was one or two good ones. just one or two!

[500N]

Standard NATO was used in my family because of me for a while.
I still use it occasionally and it baffles some !

I see someone mentioned "Cluster F3ck".
Still use it as it describes some things so well as does U/S.

A mate uses "T@ts up" as he has worked with the Aussie Military
for quite a while.

Great thread :ok:

[Willard Whyte]

Civvy life is the norm, remember. It's the forces that are 'non-standard', like it or not.

(Would that we had a 'veterans block', a-la USA, can't see it happening over here, sadly).

[Algy]

Carry on, take it easy on the weird stuff (you know what I mean - and if you don't then you're in trouble), and you'll be fine. Percentage-wise you'll come out on top.