At last - - a reason to grow old !!

The TSA ...... now allow anyone over the age of 75 to keep their shoes on when passing through airport security in the USA !!!!

That makes a lot of sense, I can barely reach down to tie my shoelaces now, so clearly I wouldn't be able to reach down to prime any bomb that I might have hidden in them ?

Except ........that one TSA b*t*h at Honolulu insisted that I still had to remove them "because I was travelling Internationally " ( this in the International Terminal, where the notice was displayed ! )

So it's OK for your 75 yr old terrorist to blow up an aircraft flying across the USA with a shoe bomb, but not one travelling across other Countries ?

World's Gone Mad.

Not to worry they still may set off the detector due to metal shims in the shoes causing many chuckles until you finally remove them along with your Mickey Mouse watch and Red Ryder belt buckle.

In all this back and forth fuss the ringer alarm clock in your suitcase at the other end of the belt will likely go-off as well. Be sure and allow extra time at your age going through TSA and their ilk at any place in the world

ExSp33db1rd

At last - - a reason to grow old !!

The TSA ...... now allow anyone over the age of 75 to keep their shoes on when passing through airport security in the USA !!!!

That makes a lot of sense, I can barely reach down to tie my shoelaces now, so clearly I wouldn't be able to reach down to prime any bomb that I might have hidden in them ?

Except ........that one TSA b*t*h at Honolulu insisted that I still had to remove them "because I was travelling Internationally " ( this in the International Terminal, where the notice was displayed ! )

So it's OK for your 75 yr old terrorist to blow up an aircraft flying across
the USA with a shoe bomb, but not one travelling across other Countries ?

World's Gone Mad.

Old news.

The funny thing is, that "one TSA b*t*h" (as you describe her) is probably sharing her story right now on a security-oriented forum about "another old, arrogant foreign t**t who argued with me because he thinks he's above being checked".

I can barely reach down to tie my shoelaces now

Laces? Ppruners, with their well known sartorial reputation should be wearing Gucci slip on moccasins (http://www.gucci.com/uk/category/m/men_s_shoes/moccasins) whilst on staff travel...

Oh, buggah!!!!!!!!!!


I'm only going to live until October. The old penny slot machine said so in 1947. I've told the story a hundred times on PpruNe, but the thing is, I believe it. I have one and a half months to beat the TSA at their game.


What can I do? Bend to take off my shoes, and fart so loudly that the terminal is evacuated? Creak so loudly on bending that it melts the hearts of the TSA operative? Nah, not without cold fusion to melt the stone. So what can I do?

I know! Take the Rivetess through with me. No, that would be too cruel. Her gaze turns people to stone, so a stone heart would go unnoticed. Also, the snakes in her hair have been known to traumatize the hardest boarder guards in Latvia. Can't do that to them.

What then? Come on, I've only got a few weeks, what can I do?

Oh no they're using sensible profiling to expedite security procedures...the world is coming to an end!:eek:

"another old, arrogant foreign t**t who argued with me because he thinks he's above being checked"

You mean - "because he has read the sign on the wall and I am too clever to need to read it"

Goodness, when I read the title with your name as author I thought
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BA had restored travel-privileges for pensioners !

When we departed Honolulu earlier this year, it was straight into the scanning cubicle with shoes on...job done. As the owner of a replacement knee joint I found this totally stress free. Unlike LAX and LHR where, having set off the alarm, it was ''stand over there'' for the complete pat down... shoes off!
I am intrigued as to why a small airport such as HNL has these cubicle scanners and the bigger Internationals do not.

Why don't they save time by only targeting those with beards & a darker countenance wearing a certain style of clothing? Or would that be too obvious and not PC :rolleyes:

You mean - "because he has read the sign on the wall and I am too clever to
need to read it"


I think I'll sit down and try to remember all the little things that ever irritated me while while passing through security a couple thousand times in 40 or 50 different countries.

Then, I'll start threads commenting on each, and since I'm a pro, I take it personally if there was anything I felt they were doing wrong in all those places or if I feel they were just stupid or b*t*hy, so no siree I won't be afraid to voice my indignation. If there's one thing the world needs, its more threads telling everyone how passing through airport security can produce eye-rolling moments or a minute of frustration.

I'm serious, I can back everything up with a recent anecdote. It's a tell-all expose' that needs to be written and, if published, will blow the lid right off this airport security stupidity thing.

AlpineSkier





Yup, me too.

Pukin'Dog, that seems a noble and worthwhile endeavour.

After such a daunting task, one will want to sit down with a lovely cuppa brewed with water from Severn Trent, gently stirred of course (three circular clockwise rotations, no more old chap) with a spoon made from the finest Sheffield Steel. Only then may one reflect with satisfaction upon all that is good at Heathrow Terminal 4.

[quote] vee-tail-1
Why don't they save time by only targeting those with beards & a darker countenance wearing a certain style of clothing? Or would that be too obvious and not PC :rolleyes:

You wouldn't think so....... but as sent by a friend in the US ( applies also to Englandistan. ) :confused:


Stupid Is As Stupid Does

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves.

Pause a moment, reflect back.

These events are actual events from history.

They really happened! Do you remember?

1. In 1968, Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a Muslim male.

2. In 1972, at the Munich Olympics,

athletes were kidnapped and massacred by Muslim males. 3. In 1972, a Pan Am 747 was hijacked and eventually diverted to Cairo where a fuse was lit on final approach and it was blown up shortly after landing by Muslim males. 4. In 1973, a Pan Am 707 was destroyed in Rome, with 33 people killed, when it was attacked with grenades by Muslim males.
5. In 1979, the US embassy
in Iran was taken over by Muslim males.

6. During the 1980's a number of Americans
were kidnapped in Lebanon by Muslim males.

7. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim males.

8. In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by Muslim males.

9. In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim males .

10. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim males.

11. In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim males.

12. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and
Tanzania were bombed by Muslim males.

13. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take down the World Trade Centers and of the
remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim males.

14. In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan
against Muslim males.

15. In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and beheaded by -- you guessed it -- Muslim males.

No, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure
we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be
allowed to profile certain people... Absolutely No Profiling!

They must conduct random searches of
80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's
security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but
leave Muslim Males alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

Have the American People
completely lost their Minds, or just their Power of Reason??

Let's send this to as many people as we
can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other stupid attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel
ashamed of themselves -- if they have any such sense.

As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it, "Stupid Is As Stupid Does!!"

TZ350 ......... Brilliant, thank you.

AlpineSkier ......... One can still live in hope. ( and hasn't given up the Crusade )

Hobo ........."Laces? Ppruners, with their well known sartorial reputation should be wearing Gucci slip on moccasins whilst on staff travel" Gucci ? I'm a BA pensioner remember - I wear plastic Crocs.

PukinDog .....Old news. ?? Maybe, but there were no such notices when I departed LAX in Aug. 2011 - so it was new to me.

PukinDog ......"who argued with me because he thinks he's above being checked". Absolutely, I'm not a terrorist. and anyway, I didn't argue about being checked, I argued about her not understanding her own protocols, and was - afterwards - supported by her supervisor who told me that, quote " she's new ". So do the TSA just drag them off the streets and give no training ? It certainly seems like it, another TSA b*t*h ordered my wife to remove the passport hanging around her neck in a travel pouch, 'cos that constituted a "third" piece of hand baggage, and that was against the regulations permitting only 1 piece of baggage and a 'personal' item.

Americans seem to carry very large pieces of 'personal items' - some won't even fit into the overhead racks - but we didn't mention that, instead my wife put her passport in her 'purse' then held up the line whilst she took it in and out at every checkpoint. Touche. World's Gone Mad.

Anyway .......... you won't have to put up with my TSA travel stories after 1.4.14 ( refer to reply by AlpineSkier ) yes, I am a BA pensioner - with a pension set in 1982 - go figure.

G'day.

P.s. Whilst in Honolulu I enjoyed a visit to the Pearl Harbour ( sorry Harbor ) Ford Island Pacific Aviation Museum, for a start there was a T-33 parked right outside the hangar - my mount in 1956, but my tour guide recalled the story of a US General - Mitchell ?? - sorry, memory fade doubtless someone will correct me and anyway the name is not relevant to the tale. This gentleman apparently wrote a memo in the early 30's suggesting that the only invasion attack that the USA might suffer would be from Japan, and that the Pacific Fleet in Pearl Harbour would need to be taken out first, and that as a God-Fearing Nation most of the population would be at Church at 08.00 on a Sunday morning, and that would therefore be the best time to mount an attack. His report was rubbished. 08.00 0n 7th December 1941 proved him right.

Seems that the seeds of the mentality of the present TSA employees were present even in the late 1920's ?

A well known mantlepiece sculpture of 3 monkeys comes to mind.

G'day again.