Recce Reminders from Yesteryear

[HTB]

Some mid-week trivia:

It may be an age-related thing, but for some reason, completely unbidden, into my synapses popped some of the cute phrases we used to use to aid identification or friendly and non-friendly hardware.

For example, when we had lots of RN surface vessels, frigates of various types (and ages) sailing contemporaneously, to sort out Whitby/Rothesay/Tribal from the more modern Leander: you could "meander round a Leander" - i.e. there was walkway around the central superstructure that was not there for for the others.

One of the more common Sov frigates to be found around UK waters was the Krivak, which had four large missile tubes in front of the central superstructure - So "tea vac on a Krivak"; corny, but served its purpose.

On to land kit: the one that sticks out most memorably is for the (then) new SAM, SA-10. The connection is from a film called "10", starring a rather busty actress, Bo Derek. She was a Big Bird (long-range acquisition radar for the SA-10) over whom you could "Flap Lid" (engagement radar) about her "Clam Shell" (target acquisition)...and so on for other SAM sytems.

There are many others, these just sprang to the frontal lobes first. So if you're bored, or want to be distracted from the upcoming sports days, please add your own memories, or if they are unclassified, any current cute reminders;)

Mister B

[Just This Once...]

She may have a flat face, squat eyes and her hair in a side net, but with her low blow she is definitely a Goa.

[orgASMic]

The BMP was a 'Battle Machine with Planks' due to the plank-like glacis plate.

[X767]

Saracen carries men, Saladin has a "gin"

[orgASMic]

"You can wnak a Flanker but you can't make a Fulcrum cum"

[Courtney Mil]

Kashin hand.

[BEagle]

On 56(F), our navigator of 'dusky appearance' wasn't too keen on the recce feature of the Coontz-class destroyer, a large lattice work structure in front of the second funnel, being described as a 'coon cage'....:uhoh:

We were spared those interminable recce briefs about tanks and other Sovietski pongo machinery as an AD squadron. So no 'GT wheels' etc., thankfully.

One brave student once gave a recce brief about some Russki tank or other. Having introduced his subject, he put on a slide. Which was totally blank except for a little dot in the middle. "Here we have the T-** tank. This is the sight picture at the 1667 yard release range. You will notice the curved handrails, slack tracks, GT wheels and the position of the muzzle brake.......". Point made about stupid recce briefs for anyone except spies lurking in that famous upstairs window from which most recce photos seemed to have been taken.

The Stn Cdr at Heaven-in-Devon was always asking "How can you tell it's one of theirs, not one of ours?". So I joked to one mate that he should say that ours would be heading East, whereas theirs would be heading West. He then did so - and we all thought that the Stn Cdr was going to blow a gasket! But he realised he'd been out-witted by the Fg Off's union, so just stalked out with a face like thunder.

[teeteringhead]

The BMP was a 'Battle Machine with Planks' due to the plank-like glacis plate. or the smaller BMD being "Battle Machine for Dwarves".

And further to BEags remark on the lack of need for recce briefs, a pongo of my acquaintance once told me:

"If we shoot at everything that flies, 80% of the time we'll be right!!" :eek:

[HTB]

Beags

That sounds rather like the blessed Roger (buckethead) A****n; not known for his tolerance, or love of navigators. I was Stn Nav, Intel Off, SFSO, stand-in Ops Wg Adj in the early '80s...just about any job that the pilots did not want to do.

Part of one of the above job descriptions was to deliver the recce quiz at morning brief. The recce syllabus was split about 60/40 aircraft to mud kit recognition, so I took care to warn the selected victim, staff or stude (I was a sympathetic chap back then) what slide I would ask them to identify. Unfortunately staish twigged quite quickly, so made me stop this cooperative practice and choose random fall guys (the number of staff being asked fell of course, which he also twigged). In the end I went totally random, but put up only the easy to identify slides.

I thought BMP was "Bring More Pongos" as it is an APC; the double doors at the back end (along with the narrow low pressure tracks and the low flat turret in the middle for the cognoscenti) were the giveaway.

Anyone remember what the rest of the SA-6 ensemble was? Gainful and Straight Flush is all my little grey cells can summon right now.:confused:

Mister B

[BEagle]

MisterB, I can neither confirm nor deny that the Gp Capt in question had the same surname as a certain British motor manufacturer. But yes, indeed he regarded navigators as rather lower forms of life....:\

The poor old SNavO was often on the receiving end. Having been told off for pointing at things on the morning nav brief slides with his finger, he made himself a cardboard arrow to use as pointer....:oh:

The very next day, he proudly used said device, to roars of laughter from the assembled throng. For unfortunately his skill with scissors hadn't been that good and the arrow had rather a rounded end. It looked to all the world as though he'd flopped his 'gentlleman's part' out onto the OHP as a direct insult to the said Gp Capt :ooh:!

[SASless]

In the helicopter world we flew low and slow enough to have use for photos of people so we could recognize the Gunner's faces who were shooting at us. ;)

[airborne_artist]

Kara class ASW destroyer had a very large structure supporting the main radar which I think also housed the funnel.

You could get a Karavan down the funnel :D I won't use the C-word as BEags despises of the oiks' choice of mobile holiday accom.

[Lordflasheart]

Our Recce Board was headed - "Know your Enemy."

It usually sported pictures of the likely opposition - MiGs and Komars etc, with a suitable and hopefully memorable phrase appended.

This day it was a press photo of our Hard Working PM getting into one of our helicopters for a freebie, wearing his loan clothing bonedome – back to front – you could tell it was back to front because the sun visor was keeping the sun off the back of his neck.

The memorable phrase was "... to avoid the glare of publicity when backing out of solemn undertakings."

Something to do with an impending conflict over Sou*****n Rhod****a I think.

LFH

[just another jocky]

You can wash your hands in a Bison.

[BSweeper]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/177/443079138_3e41e49b69.jpg

Hip, Hip Horray, here comes the bus:)

[fantom]

A nav on 31 used to refer to bra-less young ladies as 'clean wing with burn-through'.

[Stuff]

Sovremenny class destroyers had so-very-many Moskit missile tubes on the sides.

[Easy Street]

Krivak = Cigarette pack (the large missile box on the front)

Udaloy = upside-down U-shaped cutout beneath the superstructure

BMP = bring more planks

MTLB = mini turret, long body OR my tank's a long bugger

BTR60, 70 and 80 have their exhausts mounted at 60, 70 and 80 degrees to the vertical respectively

You can "See In" a "CN"235 because it has windows, unlike the similar G222.

[Melchett01]

Not that I'm a complete spotter / geek, but:

AMX-30 has toblerone shaped exhausts (note other confectionary is available)
Leopard 2 has 2 circular engine grills on its rear deck
T-54 has a clean barrel, T-55 has a counterweight at the end
T-72 has a letterbox exhaust at rear left hand side
T-80 has wheels in pairs and fuel drums on top of rear deck due to exhaust position
AMX-10P has a 10p coin slot in the track guard and the engine grills form the figure 10 from above
M2 Bradley has eyebrows on the glacis plate
BRDM-2 has D shaped footrests in the sides
VBL is Very Buggy Like
AMX-155 GCT has a Great Central Turret
Geppard cannons looked like chicken drumsticks
The RN helpfully labelled their Type 22s as Fxx, 23s Fxxx and the 42s as Dxx
Ocean has a big 0 on the rear deck
LCAC landing craft have LCAC on the side!

Oh alright, I admit it, I'm a sad spotter.

[MightyGem]

MTLB - Maggie Thatcher's Little Bum.

[Melchett01]

Maggie Thatcher's Little Bum.

You clearly fancied her! Was it the whole woman in position of authority thing? :E

[zedder]

For the Helix and the Hormone we were told to think of the Tail Fins as fingers. Apparently it takes 3 fingers to make a Hormone!:E

[Fortissimo]

Fond memories of Brawdy, late 70's, Harry Staish gets fed up with recce brief by proxy, ie someone turning on the sound-on-slide projector (remember them?) for the absent student presenter. He declared sound-on-slide as unacceptable as it meant there was no opportunity for questions, therefore no more such presentations etc.

Next morning, R*y Cr****y is due to present on the Bear. Cue sound-on-slide display and furious glares from Staish trying to eyeball R*y, who wasn't there! Until the last slide, which said: "Gentlemen that concludes my presentation, are there any questions?" A voice at the back piped up with "Yes, how big is the crew?" and the slide said: "Twelve, thank you very much!"

Briefing room predictably collapsed in uproar. To his credit, Staish (once a semblance of order had been resumed) simply said: "Excellent, very funny. But no more..."

[MG]

Fencer is a bencer! Nope, it had no meaning whatsoever and was the worst attempt at an analogy, but I still remember it.

[99 Change Hands]

The Bear-J had a canoe-shaped ECM pod mounted ventrally so we were taught it as 'J for canoe'.

It didn't make any sense; so how come it's the only thing I can remember 29 years on?

[ExAscoteer]

I remember being taught:

2 guns at the back = Krivak.

4 funnels to put the Kashin.

[Rosevidney1]

The Royal Armoured Corps had a staff officer who wrote witty doggerel to aid in identifying 'hard skin' vehicles. The one for the PT-76 went something like:
Some smart red designer man,
Took an upturned frying pan,
Built a hull both square and squat,
And placed his frying pan on thot!

[Squirrel 41]

MT-LB always used to be "Mini-Turret, Long Body" until the USAF exchange officer offered "Motor Transport for Lenin's Boys"...

S41

BRDM - Bolshie Russians Don't March (they ride around in scout cars)
PMP - People's Mobile Pontoon
BTR-60PA Command - has a square rail to carry the laundry on (PA= personal accessories)
BTR-60PU-12 (The BTR-60 Air Defence Command vehicle without the laundry)
TOMBSTONE - because it looks like the one it creates
GRAVESTONE - only more so!

And so on, and so on...

[BBadanov]

MT-LB always used to be "Mini-Turret, Long Body" until the USAF exchange officer offered "Motor Transport for Lenin's Boys"...

Motor Transport for Lenin's Boys was used in RAFG, at Laarbruch at least.

In early RAAF F-111 maritime ops, we had problems identifying grey boats. The Oz Navy still had Daring-class destroyers (DD) and Yarra-class Type 12 frigates (DE).
Our clue was if side structure went down near the front (the bow I think), it was "dip early", ie DE. If it went down further towards the back of the boat (the stern?), then it was "dip delayed", DD. Easy really. ;)

[Red Line Entry]

The Bear C carried the Kipper missile so it was "Kipper in the Sea"

[99 Change Hands]

I was part of a group which sat open-mouthed as Puddy briefed the recce features of locks - as in the gated canal feature.

Puddy - "any questions?"

Audience member - "yeah, what is it next week Puddy, birds of Great Britain?"

[recce_FAC]

Kashin - 4 funnels like teeth so Kashin is a nashin !
OSA 2 - had ''too'' many ribs down the side of the launcher

[Tlam999]

http://http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNFR_39-55_m1953_Suffren_pic.jpghttp://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNFR_39-55_m1953_Suffren_pic.jpg

"If you had b*lls this big you'd be Suffren" :E

[BEagle]

99, Puddy also had a recce interest in ships. One fine day, discovering one of HM's war canoes in the middle of Hartland range, he nipped down in Sir Winston (complete with banner still attached) "To get the bugger's number!", as he put it.

It was HMS Bronington. Commanded at the time by HRH Prince Charles....:\

On another occasion I was sandbagging in a T7 with Puddy; it had been snagged for aileron restriction and he had been asked to do the air test. Up high, he took it back to a speed I've never seen in an airborne Hunter before, we were in the heaviest of heavy buffets as Puddy moved the control column from side to side..."Nothing wrong with this", he announced. Then he started peering over the side, whilst muttering "Where is the damn thing...ah, there she blows!"....

His recce skills had allowed him to spot the Fishguard to Rosslare ferry. So, over onto our backs and into a steep dive, then supersonic to drop a boom on the boat. "That'll teach the Paddies a lesson!", he chuckled.

Great times in the RAF of the 1970s!

[Pontius Navigator]

TFD, easier just to remember what they were.

Ascoteer, and how did you recognise a Krivak 2?

Lordflasheart, nice one but HWs bone dome was a rear crew one without a visor or visor track. In the early 60s there was still the thought of not providing visors for rear crew in non-ejector seat aircraft.

[Lordflasheart]

Lordflasheart, nice one but HWs bone dome was a rear crew one without a visor or visor track. In the early 60s there was still the thought of not providing visors for rear crew in non-ejector seat aircraft.


Pontius - I wouldn't have made it up, I swear by my tattoo, but I will check with the erstwhile keeper of the noticeboard to see if I imagined it. LFH

[teeteringhead]

I'm sure Pontius and LordFlash are sort of both right. I well remember the photo of Wislon in the back-to-front bone dome.

The giveaway?: not the visor (or not) but the "pigtail" emerging from the centre of his forehead. :D

My how we laughed .......

There must be a copy of the picture somewhere.....???

[Rossian]

...I believe he never really forgave the RN for that. After the completion of the "HMS Tiger" talks in Gib he presented a photo to the wardroom. It is alleged that after she sailed back to UK a "subbie" was detailed off the chuck it over the stern. On a later visit to Tiger by the PM he "noted" the picture's absence.

Earlier when we maritime oiks were on that big island to the east of Africa (never mentioned by name) we tried to get a photo of HW to accompany the one of the Queen AND Ian Smith on the "mess" dining room wall. His personal secretary wrote sniffily to say that the PM had better things to do than send us a signed photo. Ian Smith's military PA on the other hand was most helpful. One of our chaps was a Rhodesian and his mum lived next door to Ian Smith's mum so that's how the connection was made. The PA also said that he felt sure we understood that no "official" invitation could be made, but that no obstacles would be put in the way of "private" invitations to spend Christmas in Salisbury (Harare today).
Coastal Command were not amused.

The Ancient Mariner

[sargs]

Pontious:

Ascoteer, and how did you recognise a Krivak 2?



As he said, 2 guns at the back = Krivak

The Krivak 1 had 2 x Twin 76mm turrets, whereas the Krivak 2 had 2 x Single 100 mm turrets - any fule kno that....

[Art E. Fischler-Reisen]

During the Cold War, in Germany, our Naval exchange junior officer, obviously tired of tank and aircraft recce photos, decided to give us some "alternative" lessons after morning brief.

A photo slide of the first ship went up; no-one had a clue what it might be.

From the rear came a grumpy Scottish QHI's voice (that of the late George Blackie): "That's a B Zero Eighty!"

"No", said the the NEO, "It's actually a Warsaw Pact Blah Class Blah, blah".

Next slide...totally different photo, no-one knew its ID. Same voice "That's another B Zero Eighty!"

"No, that one's a Blah Class Blah Blah....

......and what exactly is this B Zero Eighty, George?

GB stood up, walked to the front, picked up some chalk and wrote "B.O.A.T." on the blackboard, bid us good morning, and walked out.

Rude, but GB made the point well. There were no ships in our operating theatre (the Central German Plain) and we went nowhere near the coast.