Seeing the title of the thread "Polish tornadoes", I had visions of somebody getting out their duster and giving a tornado a good buffing.

Then I realised we were talking of Poland.

I see vans proclaiming "Shopfitting" and nearly always read "Shoplifting" , with a sneaky admiration for anyone with enough temerity to advertise it on their van.

I od ton knith I am dyslexic, just surtain things I reed rongly. Anibodi else?

You're not alone, wings. The first glance I took at the 'Higgs Boson' thread I thought i read
Huge Bosoms.

Yes, I've had many laughs misreading things. There's one on Pprune now in Flight Testing - It actually says Machmeter but I read it as Manchester.

I think it's down to not noticing and thinking too fast.

Strip near Newmarket always sounds like a command not a request for details for an aerodrome.

SGC

I read something the other day in a newspaper, I forget the exact context but I ended up reading it as 'the woman had a fine pair.'

You are not alone wings, I too read shopfitter wrong. Have a few others that I cannot post here as I wish to remain persona grata!

What's so special about Polish tomatoes?
Why are people shop-lifting them?
However, I think I do understand how some may confuse huge, juicy and ripe Polish tomatoes with huge bosoms... :ok: :confused:

You just want to hold them, caress them. Sprinkle them with freshly-ground salt and pepper, a few fresh herbs. Add a few dollops of "extra-virgin" olive oil. With the tips of your fingers, gently massage everything until all the flavours intertwine. Take a first delicate lick off your fingers for tasting, adjust the seasoning if necessary. Then just consume...

Together with tomatoes, cucumbers are one of my other most favourite vegetables.

I haven't been in these here quarters for some time and it seems to have changed. Is PPRuNe now a horticultural forum? Lettuce in Cuba, Tomatoes in Poland. Very interesting.

@<hidden>wings folded (http://www.pprune.org/members/173066-wings-folded) with a sneaky admiration for anyone with enough temerity to advertise it on their van.



For some uncanny reason an airport service company was proudly displaying on all of their vans that they are delaying always.

Penny should have been dropped somehow. Nowadays they are displaying life's good, smile.

Together with tomatoes, cucumbers are one of my other most favourite vegetables.

Actually they are both fruit.

/Pedant Mode Off/

UFO

Things are coming along nicely with that Hardon Collider they have.

There was a Polish film a short while back about a labour camp during WWII where the Germans had slave labourers making forged English banknotes.

Who ever did the poster had obviously misunderstood the translation. It was called Counter Fitters.

No matter how I try to see it as it's written, I always see "Shopfitters" as "Shoplifters" :bored:Not the sort of thing that a company should advertise ;)



SHJ

Shopfitters ditto.

I remember seeing an album called 'The Who Live At Leeds' and thinking, quite seriously, 'So? They have to live somewhere.'

I read the above as "Who lives in Leeds"

Sea Oxen;

That Hardon Collider has always been a problem to me, and her indoors just thinks I'm abit strange, I've never dared to tell her how I see Cillit Bang:E

SND

Whenever I travel to the UK, I see lots of signs "To Let", and I think to myself, the forgot the i.

I remember seeing an album called 'The Who Live At Leeds' and thinking, quite seriously, 'So? They have to live somewhere.'

With the money they earned, I doubt that they would have chosen Leeds. :)

I remember Reading (Redding) somewhere that we recognise the "shape" of the word, merely Reading (Redding) the first and last letters.

Make of it what you will.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/Siddley-Hawker/Rimjobs.jpg

The person responsible must be a right A$$hole :E



SHJ

The TSA has been criticised in recent months for the invasiveness of its screening techniques, which include a pat-down of the groin, breasts and buttocks, and the use of controversial full body scanners.

I'm ashamed to say I read this as 'groin, breasts, and bollocks'.

The TSA has been criticised in recent months


And I read: Been circumcised in recent months. I have no idea why.:ooh:

There's a shop I regularly pass on the Stirling Highway in Perth. I never read it as something to do with Italy more to do with something that rhymes with Jenny :}

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c92/allan907/livitalia.jpg

The headline in the paper concerning the tragedy in Dorset referred to "Landslide victim".

I read it as "Landslide victory".

I suppose you more often see the latter than the former.

Forsest Fire for the thread... although the forest fires are really the worst in the area, I guess.

SWMBO is a shopfitter/shoplifter reader.

Stood in a Brit Rail station one day, opposite a shopfitters place, (with big sign). SWMBO asks "Are they allowed to advertise like that?".

As it was said in the "Do not ignore me" voice, I just had to respond.....

Local supermarket has boxed bottles of something called WKD ( ????? )

the text says (last night I finally stopped to read it clearly) "The Weekend - Bring it on"

Up to now i have been reading it as "the Weekend - Bridlington"

Puzzled me for ages - to quote a mate who was brought up there - "Bridlington, where the cemetary is the liveliest place in town"

Manchester Airport: 11-year-old schoolboy's stowaway flight to Rome prompts Government investigation.
Security probe launched as boy, 11, sneaks onto Rome jet without ticket or passport.

Read 2nd sentence as "Security police lunched as boy"

Actually they probably were!

I have just read a newspaper headline which read "BHP chief forges bonus after gas writedown"

Good grief, I thought, how low can these people stoop? Not just taking a bonus after failure, but forging one?

Then I read it again, and it said "forgoes"

Ah, well...

I just read: Spoof tweeter case dropped

as

Boris left hanging 23 years on a vegetable patch.


It's obvious why.

I saw two women on the beach wearing identical tops with the logo : Poxy. At least that was what it looked like ......... and they looked poxy!

Warehouse & Whorehouse?

Tsk, tsk, Tableview; that'll be Roxy, well-known swimwear manufacturer. :E

Photography & Video (http://www.dummies.com/Section/Photography-Video.id-323763.html)

as Pornography and Video.

I blame Slash. :8

I was told: "if you do that often you will grow hair on the palms of your hands and you will go blind". Have you checked your hands recently? ;)

..........., in which I participated fondly. I especially like team sports, in which socialisation and communication
are essential for victory. However, I believe some individualism is always good to assert self-assurance and confidence.I almost disowned my son yesterday when I read his personal statement for his Varsity application. Initially 'skimming' it before reading it, I merged socialisation and individualism to get socialism.

We've already got one bloody Commie / Bolshie / Leftie in the house, don't want another.........

misread, misheard or misunderstood Photography & Video as Pornography and Video.


Probes hon its obvious you've finally been slasherised.

Welcome to my world babe! :)

I often mistake 'shopfitters' for 'shoplifters' before my logical brain kicks in


SHJ

I often mistake 'shopfitters' for 'shoplifters' before my logical brain kicks in

Strange why that should happen, catches me out too

I managed to misread 'Sex Discrimination Act' as 'Sex Act Discrimination' which I thought was a little strange, as I've never been discriminating about sex acts...

Granary in your trousers? (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/506617-canary-your-trousers.html)

The "Old Tranny on the Sex Coast (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/506207-old-tramway-sussex-coast.html)" thread caused me a few double takes.

There's a fishing magazine on sale in the UK called Total Carp, whenever I see it on the news-stands, I unconsciously translate it as Total Cr*p :uhoh:

PC Pilok (http://www.pcpilot.net/) .

Arbic, anyone?

http://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/thumbnails/10710906-21785673-thumbnail.jpg

Lost tour-guide hears:

Please get your folk all off my porch!

When I listened to this I could have sworn that she said that there would be "no carbon tax under a government I lead"

KMVc0IbtyAQ

In fact what was actually said was, "I take Australians for a bunch of fools and I aim to bring in a carbon tax just as soon as I can to pay for all the unsustainable and screwed up policies that I will introduce"

If you listen to the soundtrack very carefully you can actually hear the crackling of the flames as her pants catch light.

A very irate Italian goes to the reception of a cheap hotel in the UK (probably this one .......... Dirty and run down - Nanford Guest House, Oxford Traveller Reviews - TripAdvisor (http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186361-d193762-r150625278-Nanford_Guest_House-Oxford_Oxfordshire_England.html)) and says :

"I wanna more shit on the bed, f*ck on the table, and piss on the plate"

He is told :

"You mean, you would like more sheets on the bed, a fork on the table, and peas on your plate?"

Police paid millions for details of car crashes (http://click.email.telegraph.co.uk/?qs=ee4920c222543df0ebbd23590320215cd941c1df516977c8e506b35688da90d5b1c33eab834f7304)

A completely ambiguous headline!

In a post a few weeks ago regarding my former musical career, I referred to having played in the Leicester Sympathy Orchestra. Nobody noticed (or if they did, nobody said anything).

being sympathetic, we were? :cool:

Uke Hunt (http://ukulelehunt.com/)....

Probes,

You elected not to resurrect my "The way you read things" thread, but start your own?

I am not vexed, nor even mildly offended, but certain grounds are being retread, causing muddy squelchy patches, what with all the rain we have had.

Dear wings folded, your 4 month old thread was just that.

A shortish thread on an inconsequential subject, on the most inconsequential forum of a once upon a time mildly influential aviation website.

On the very big world wide web.

Not as if probes willingly slighted your first born, is it? ;)

I did say that I am not even mildly offended.

One or two of the topics had been aborded already, no matter, a degree of continuity would have been satisfying, but I hope that probes and you do not take my remark the wrong way.

It happens that I have an excellent memory for previous threads and therefore... now, ... what was I saying?

Country and Western......

dear Wings Folded:
Probes,
You elected not to resurrect my "The way you read things" thread, but start your own?
I am not vexed, nor even mildly offended, but certain grounds are being retread, causing muddy squelchy patches, what with all the rain we have had.
I truly apologise for not doing the proper thing.
however, this
It happens that I have an excellent memory for previous threads and therefore...
is not something I could say about myself, alas! :sad: and even more - I have to confess there are some days - not often, of course - I have not a single spare minute for JB, so I fail to notice some wonderful threads sometimes. Which is a pity of course.
BUT I'm relieved you are not offended, not even mildly, nor have been (nor will, I presume). :cool:
So, let's carry on from here, then:
http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/490713-way-you-read-things.html

P.S "the Ladies' Professional Golf Association, an organisation for female girls,...," (golfers, actually)

Sub heading of thread on prune

"Brazilian leads to end of public house."

I keep wondering how someone from Brazil could so affect the patrons of a public house that it disappears!

Sometimes once you have got something in your head you just can't get it right. I have looked at this three times and still don't realise I have seen the thread before .

Wings folded - I really hate to admit it mate but the purple dragon is right in this case. Look
at the big picture - its not like you're being paid 10 quid for every contributing post made on
any thread you start now are ya. If you were you'd have a legitimate gripe.

And once you stick any thread/post on the site it aint really "yours" anymore - it becomes the
property of PPRuNe Inc and subject to the illustrious Moderieren SS.

You have misunderstood my thesis.

I did say that I was not even mildly offended; let us say that I could not give a tuppeny flying fûck even.

My point was that if all posts on this topic are bunged together, you can read 'em all at the same time.

That's all :)

There you are ..... as requested ...


all posts on this topic are bunged together, you can read 'em all at the same time


;)

There's a fishing magazine on sale in the UK called Total Carp, whenever I
see it on the news-stands, I unconsciously translate it as Total Cr*p http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/worry.gif



I had a colleague who's a keen fisherman who used to read a similar mag called the Crafty Carper. Might explain the reason for the occasional squelchy footstep.

Scrolling down to this thread I noticed one three or four places up the page entitled "Masturbating".

Oops, it's actually "Mature dating" :O

My eyesight really is getting terrible ;)

That's what my mother told me - do it too much and your eyesight goes ;):p

By that logic david I should've had a cane and guide dog umpteen yonks ago!

I find I occasionally mix up the WHO (UN) with The Who when I read some
headlines. I think what the hell would Zak Starkey know about curing SARS?

There you are ..... as requested ...


Most gracious.

.......lots of signs "To Let",

French exchange student staying with us went walk-about for a couple of weeks, and when he came back asked ... What are ovvies ?

After awhile we twigged - everywhere he visited he had seen all those signs on cafes, and similar ( of the era ) " Tea, with Hovis "

( UK joke )

Visiting Fffrench people were intrigued by the Highway signs indicating "Soft Verges"

"Verge" being the, ahem, virile member, in French, there was much puzzlement as to why one should want to boast about it being soft, especially on roadside placards.

Said with disdain


ar fort I saw yor name on a loaf uv bread this mornin` - but when ah looked again it read Thick Cut!

Just had a discussion my Mrs SJ about 'read'.
"The way you read things" thread
Now, is that the way you 'red' things or the way you 'reed' things. Wot a stoopid langwidge.

I got a dig bick


You that read wrong


You read that wrong too!

For years I always thought "potable water" always had a missing letter.

Wasn't till many years later when a front toilet went tits up I perused the
MEL and spat the dummy asking the engineer why the hell these aircraft
manuals always misspell it.

From then on I knew that potable water can be portable or non-portable.

I blame the French.

Again in France, a lot of buses have 'HORS SERVICE' on the front.

They aren't actually transporting prostitutes.

Argentinian Government Needs a Banana (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/507200-argentinian-government-needs-enema.html)

"UHURU NA KAZI", meaning "Freedom by labour" in Swahili, was the prominent political slogan painted on the back of all the long-distance buses in Kenya when I was driving around the country on survey work.

My companions decided that this meant the buses had "a free khasi" on board. Little things seem amusing, on long, hot dusty journeys on hopelessly rutted tracks claimed to be roads ...

Again in France, a lot of buses have 'HORS SERVICE' on the front.

They aren't actually transporting prostitutes.


and their horses ovaries are considered a delicacy to snack on

Do they export their horses dicks to China to be flogged off at Walmart?


http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyFDbCzwrBh20i9L8F5MFFcDbBev-_CQyk722QHGRzwA2mjOIm

I mis-read my frozen dinner package the other day, thought it said 'Beef Lasaneigh'.

FBI looking for "unmarried aircraft operator" at JFK (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/509505-fbi-looking-unmanned-aircraft-operator-jfk.html)

The pilot to take three Qantas jumbos to Iran. :eek:

.
The reason old crumblies misread stuff -


http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/other/word_illusion/no_eyes.gif

....and bad breath?

that can't be about 'old crumblies' - I could read it well when coming back form the kitchen (=distance needed), and 'old crumblies' need glasses to see further? :E

.....and one for Slasher. May as well start the week as we mean to go on:ok:


Funny word illusion - YouTube

edit: sorry, didn't see post 72. Better stop.....

Proof that you should always check where you put your logo with respect to the nearest door...:eek:

http://i925.photobucket.com/albums/ad98/cb1943/362155a1-7d25-450e-bc3d-c6c4237548c8_zps9295acb1.jpg

In Airbus's case with someone whose first language is English.

Then again, maybe they did.:E

GG

I always think the Government's draft resolutions usually are!

Pope delivers Easter eggs.

(speech it was actually, of course). :sad:

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4gKK5ovTJaNfWARUCeUWbHzZhg5GhIvTlsnkxlWSg8thuw92O7Q

"Xcuse me while I kiss this guy"