Now I am not one to haunt these JB portals much so I accept I may be on dangerous ground by asking, but here goes.
For those of you whose wives /girlfriends / partners have read or are reading this trilogy, can you tell me what, if any, effect these stories have had on your sex lives? A quick straw poll amongst friends suggests that the female of the species views such porn very differently to us males to the extent that it is simply a story and raises little by way of lasting sexual excitement. Your tales please ladies and gentlemen.

i have to admit, i did get 50 shades of grey, myself.

didn't see what all the fuss was about...

http://www.jacquielonglegs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/IMG_1982-621x1024.jpg

Do you really mean to imply that there are in reality males who would derive a great deal by way of lasting sexual excitement upon reading of the antics of Mr Grey and a bonded virgin?
Golly! I hope that sort of salaciously curious person doesn't frequent these forums!

These days you can buy vibrating cock rings in Tescos. (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/228187/Sexy-supermarket-sweep.html?print=yes) I don't think there is anything in that book that a reasonable person hasn't tried already ... ;)

I don't think that the branch of Tesco I sometimes use when visiting England has an aisle with geriatric sex aids on display. One shall ask the manager next time where to find such remedial toys.

So whats this book got that Justine, Juliette, and 120 Days of Sodom havn't?
Get them to read those. Should be all the bedroom novels they need.
Keep them away from "Venus in Furs" though - they might get the wrong ideas about female equality

I'm not toning down my sex life for anyone, and I made that point to my girlfriend when she started reading "50 Shades of Grey". She still hasn't finished it ;)

vibrating cock rings in Tescos. (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/228187/Sexy-supermarket-sweep.html?print=yes)

Would that be in the poultry department ?

Was on a flight back from Richmond VA to Boston MA this week and some bint was reading the 50 shades thing. God, she was awful, so felt the book was a marital aid device in and of itself.

Ozzy

I suspect that some of the passages in 120 Days of Sodom would put a lot of people off sex for life, it was probably better not finished. De Sade at his best, or should it be worst?

apparently it was finished, but it got lost when he got out of the Bastille (was he released when it was stormed???) so he had to rewrite it all from memory and eventually gave up

Well - the earth moved a bit but I think that's because I dropped the book on the floor when I dozed off.

The lust of my life recommends the Vibrations ring

'Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations'
Often wondered what the Beachboys were singing about:confused:

These days you can buy vibrating cock rings in Tescos.

They might sell a few more if they made full size ones. The ones in your link look a tad small - diameter wise.

Talking of adult stuff, Mrs H and I have just spent a month in California, and unless you are in a bar, they now seem to refer to alcohol as an 'adult beverage' when they ask what you'd like to drink. Apparently to avoid any potential religous offence.

The ones in your link look a tad small

Ah, so it wasn't the poultry department, it was the paltry department......

Not that I'm pushing these things, or anything :O ... but a bit of research show this girl can get both hands in the thing - plenty big enough for me, I would think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9MZ0btfg3s&feature=related

I became curious when someone posted a picture of 'Elton John's wedding dress.' (A man in an inflated rubber ball.)


This lead me to searching though a sea of human predilections, and left me thinking 50 Shades is so mindbogglingly, boringly normal, that only charging into the bedroom on a JCB would be considered strange. Even then, if it had one of those pointy attachments affixed to the front, it would be sort of okay.

Better post this quick, before one of those lock things gets put on the thread. Oooooo . . . lock things. Where's the bromide?

heres where you can buy some lock things
might have to buy by the pallet load though

Wholesale Cock Lock - Buy China Wholesale Cock Lock from Chinese Wholesalers | DHgate (http://www.dhgate.com/wholesale/cock+lock.html)

If the 50 shades of chav in the Fri.Jokes was a sample of its style, then one would need a good reason to read it?

So many people want to publish their years of hard work. I know I do, and I know the odds. Weeks of one book a second flying off the shelves is kind of envy-making. Ho hum. Such is the way of the world.

She was a pretty little thing, could her husband really have had to be pressured to help her research the book? She claimed he rolled his eyes, groaned, and reluctantly agreed.

years of hard work
and the field of yours would be...?

Whachu doin' up at this hour?

interesting field for sure! You're sleeptyping, of course. ;)

Paged through the "Shades of Gray" junk over the weekend in a local bookshop and was apt to think that going to the bondage section in a porn shop would be far more preferable and would help obviate all the "Bilge and Swoon" rubbish that pads out the fairly lame sex scenes.

Was amused to see Pamela Stephenson's (or Connolly Stephenson) review of the "trilogy" in the Guardian.... ;)


The bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/fifty-shades-of-grey) trilogy by EL James has reportedly already sold up to 20m copies worldwide (http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/el-james-fifty-shades-trilogy-sets-new-record-7906729.html). Having read the three novels in one sitting, I very much doubt it is the sex (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/sex) that did it. I found it boring, repetitive, and leads women to aspire to undesirable – and frankly unattainable – goals, such as simultaneous orgasm, which occurs between the protagonists most of the time.

But, most annoyingly, the story demonises BDSM – the term for the erotic style comprising bondage, domination, and sado-masochism – and those who enjoy it. The male protagonist, Christian Grey, is portrayed as a cold-hearted sexual predator with a dungeon (that word has been wisely swapped for "playroom"), full of scary sex toys. Worst of all is the implication that his particular erotic style has developed because he is psychologically "sick".

Frankly, in BDSM terms, Grey is a lightweight. He eschews many fairly standard interests, although he is an expert at the "mind-****". Even novices, however, would know that his use of cable ties is a very bad idea (to avoid nerve-damage and scarring, soft, thick rope is de rigueur).
Grey's lack of competency in his chosen erotic arena is most apparent, though, in the way he fails to assess his potential new submissive's naivety. Experienced BDSM practitioners are acutely aware of the gulf between cognoscenti and others, and would not dream of terrifying a novice by bringing up such advanced techniques as fire, electricity and gynaecological play.

Ten years ago, I carried out an extensive psychological study of people in the BDSM community – the largest empirical study ever done at the time – to examine their psychological attributes and determine if there was any justification for the notion, commonly held, even within my field, that they were all psychologically disturbed. After giving each of the 132 participants four hours of psychological tests, as well as a face-to-face interview, I found that, in fact, the group was generally not mentally unhealthy, and the instances of early abuse that had long been associated with the adult practice of BDSM were present in just a few.
When I presented my findings in 2003 at the annual conference of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (the full study was published in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality in 2006), the jury was still out as to whether BDSM and psychopathology went hand in hand. But since then, it has been firmly established – through the work of Peggy Kleinplatz, Charles Moser and others – that BDSM, played in a safe and consensual manner, is not proof of mental or physical illness, essential badness or emotional damage from trauma or abusive parenting, and that people cannot – and should not – be treated to cure it.

All the work that has been done to establish that BDSM is not a pathological symptom, but one of a wide range of normative human erotic interests, is in danger of being undermined by the success of Fifty Shades. Let's hope we do not return to the days when people were discriminated against – losing children, property, jobs – for their interest in BDSM. Remember, Fifty Shades is just another bodice-ripper. With cable ties.




Caco

Professor Stephenson then giggled, and threw eggs at the cameraman.



Feeling a bit guilty about that. She did do that once, but long before she took a more serious career path. Husband Billy once said, upon being given an honorary doctorate, words to the effect, "Pamela took six years to get hers, and they gave me one."



.

Is this the face of the cad with the whip?

From the Telegraph

Image created of 50 Shades of Grey character Christian Grey - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/9386259/Image-created-of-50-Shades-of-Grey-character-Christian-Grey.html)



Dr Faye Skelton of the University of Lancashire has created the first image of Christian Grey, according to women readers.

If Dr Skelton has nothing better to do than cogitate about what a fictional character might look like I recommend that she read the marquis De Sade.


http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02271/christiangrey_2271380b.jpg


Who looked like this apparently

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f8/Sade_%28van_Loo%29.png/220px-Sade_%28van_Loo%29.png

Alternatively posting on JB is a more useful way of wasting your time. ;)


Caco

Iceman! I had no idea.

Classic, you have to love this story :D:D:D:D

Boyfriend squirted partner with brown sauce when she refused to stop reading Fifty Shades of Grey - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9389109/Boyfriend-squirted-partner-with-brown-sauce-when-she-refused-to-stop-reading-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey.html)




SHJ

Someone talked about this yesterday and reading on train.................... I said when it becomes out as an Audio book then travelling on the train should be interesting.

KINDLE does Audio :ok::mad::ok:

PZU - Out of Africa (retired)

He said that he did what he did to Miss McCormick to show her what saucy really meant.

Silly boy. Doesn't he know you're supposed to chastise one's girlfriend with Ketchup? Kids of today.:rolleyes:

I've just been asked if I wanted to be locked in "a red room of pain."

What's all that about ?:confused:

Think it's some'at to do with the gray/grey book. :)

Gingernut, Have you just has some work done on your car/boat/flying machine? If so, the red room of pain is where you will be presented with the bill. Red refers to the colour you bank account will be after payment... The one in the book is probably a lot less painful. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/badteeth.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK8Lr_HL3eY

(Youtube thingy didn't work again!).

Except for one or two, the comments here reveal so much.

If is stirs arousal, embrace it. If not, go to sleep and she will find her own outlet. But if that many of us females are reading it, that might be telling you something. Pay attention. That's all it takes. ;)






And for anyone that scoff at multiple orgasms, no wonder. :ugh: :p

City

Its the Pretty Woman fantasy :mad:that women want to believe in...................the tart with a heart waiting for the millionaire.

Belle de jour is another part of it.

50 Shades is about a Hooker doing her tricks and getting to be a kept woman for it...................

You so miss the boat, racedo. Not one woman I know expects the Pretty Woman fantasy. If you think the book is being taking with that much seriousness, it's no wonder so many men are missing the point.

Think again.... ;)

Suddenly put me in mind of something I wrote ages ago. She was nice, this Miss of ours.


Miss had been eying me strangely for most of the afternoon. She was only a young teacher under training, so I didn't think much of it. No experience with us older boys.

Just as we were leaving that evening, she ordered me to remain for detention. I just couldn't understand why. I'd done nothing wrong, and I told her so. Her eyes narrowed, but then she smiled. I didn't recognize the significance of that thin smile.

All the other staff had gone, and she pulled me by my collar to the staff room. She pressed the door closed and leaned her shoulders hard against against the heavy Victorian polished wood. She stared at me with a look I was yet to understand and then took a deep breath.

What little light there was coming from the high windows was not really enough to let me see just how tight her blouse had become, but the garment was obviously restrictive enough to require several of the buttons to be undone.

She pointed at the heavy oak table. It was a directive that I knew well, and I complied. As she turned my palms downwards onto the desk, I could smell her perfume; so much nicer than the other mistresses'. She positioned my hands quite gently, yet with a determined authority, before running her hands down my back to my waist. For a few moments there was not a touch or a sound, until I heard the cane being pulled from the hook on the wall.

Ooowwwch!!!

The Rivetess has just belted me round the ear and told me to get on with my work and stop writing bo-lox on PPRuNe.

You've just reminded me of the young French exchange teacher that came to my school in the 50s.

She was absolutely gorgeous, and I had sex with her every night for two weeks.






Would have been even better if she'd actually been there..................

You so miss the boat, racedo. Not one woman I know expects the Pretty Woman fantasy.

Right which us why its chicks favourite movie

I hear that Cherie Blair has announced that she is taking the book as her holiday reading.

If what I hear most women get up to when reading it is correct, then we can now safely describe the Blairs as a couple of w*****s ;)

Thanks TTN, you've just put me off my cornflakes with that thought :yuk:

Ooowwwch!!!

Yer might be onta somethin' there, Rivets.

One has been told that all the world's great rivers mostly run downhill.

Milo, post 19, the first item looks like a towhook from an old LandRover.........

post 19, the first item looks like a towhook from an old LandRover.........

Ha, my McAfee asked WHOA, Sure you want to go there?

Checkboard....."Disposable Cock" Ring?

Shades of Lorena Bobbitt?