The Guvmint is to revamp the British Citizen Test, to make it more up-to-date with Britain today. Amongst other items on the agenda, it is proposed that any newcomers to our shores should learn at least the first verse of the National Anthem.
When asked for his opinion on this, a fellow, who was not a native English speaking person, but who ran courses for people to train to pass the current Citizen Test, said he was against the idea of newcomers learning the first verse of our Anthem "in case it offended their religion or way of life".

" When asked for his opinion on this, a fellow, who was not a native English speaking person, but who ran courses for people to train to pass the current Citizen Test, said he was against the idea of newcomers learning the first verse of our Anthem "in case it offended their religion or way of life".

:ok: Fcuking good !!

They'll then have to fcuk off back to the 13th century toilet from whence they came !!:E:E

"in case it offended their religion or way of life"
The only people I can think of who might be seriously offended about anything in the first verse are the Merkins :):D:)

Don't think I have a problem with that actually.

Dim Trafferth,
" Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi,
Gwlad beirdd a chantorion, enwogion o fri;
Ei gwrol ryfelwyr, gwladgarwyr tra mâd,
Tros ryddid gollasant eu gwaed.

Cytgan:
Gwlad, Gwlad, pleidiol wyf i'm gwlad,
Tra môr yn fur i'r bur hoff bau,
O bydded i'r heniaith barhau."

Rhywdd.:ok:

Let's see now. I think there's plenty in it to offend the nutters/PC brigade/lefties who have infiltrated society.

God save our gracious Queen,
For those who don't believe in God, this is offensive to atheists.
Queen - a derogatory word for gays

Long live our noble Queen,
Why should she be endowed with longer life than anyone else. Elitist?

God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Victorious - war mongering and offensive to pacifists.

Happy and glorious,
I suppose this is inoffensive

Long to reign over us,
Again, elitist. Why should one human being reign over others?

God save the Queen!

I don't have a problem with them being offended. Let them exercise their right to be offended somewhere that doesn't have a national anthem.

I don't have a problem with them being offended. Let them exercise their right to be offended somewhere that doesn't have a national anthem. :D :D :D
Better not try Oz then they not only have to know the words, they have to sing them as well. :E Australian National Anthem (http://advanceaustraliafair.org/)- for some peculiar reason they only ever seem to sing the first, and occasionally third, verses. :rolleyes:

Australian National Anthem - Advance Australia Fair - YouTube

Hey Windy!

Great tune but gie us a wee brek. Even us Jocks don't go on aboot it as much as youse sheep shagging valley dwellers for whom the discovery of coal was the greatest uplift to yir otherwise boring and empty lives.

Jist sayin' y'know ;)


p.s. Had an ABE;) bonding with the brother of a Welsh guy who was killed on his last op in '42 last Thursday.

Oh, yes,
and just to offend everyone:
Australians, let us all ring Joyce,
For she is young and free.
:}:ooh:

Jist jokin' guys.
You will let me in when we come in August? Yes? OK? :)

I have no idea what is in the Welsh above but presume it is a statement of protest at the grovelling, forelock-tugging dirge that is the British Anthem.

The crux of the matter is not the anthem but the presumption that an outsider can come to a country and call the tune. The British anthem has been around a long time and was written in a time that would have considered it acceptable in spirit and is as much an historical statement as a modern identity.

As much as they love her, I think the Queen would be out on her a.... in 5 minutes if by some shift in laws she did decide to actually "rule over us" like her namesake Liz Mark 1.

Anthems need certain essential items. They must be jingoistic, puerile, trite and singable by anyone with a voice range less than a Labrador dog. Unfortunately most tunes appear to have been written in 5 minutes on the way to the recording studio.

The tune is the thing, nobody listens to the words. Give me stirring trite over dirge-like trite any day. The French do great stirring trite.

Off the track. Bottom line - If the National Anthem is Yellow Submarine and you want to live here and enjoy the benefits of a new country, you better be prepared to sing or piss off back to where you came from.

Windy - just for you:

Welsh anthem (Land of my fathers) - YouTube

Bryn approves of this version sung by Bryn Terfel and the Black Mountains Choir.

Any national anthem should tell listeners who the singers are, where they're from,what their nation is and what it's philosophy is. It also helps if it has a bit of a martial air.

One that would meet all these criteria is the slow march, whose words, sung by generations of Australian soldiers, start "We're a pack of b@<hidden>".
I've tried to find a clip of it to no avail, but I'm sure someone will be able to help.

I have to agree that the Froggies have first place by far in the stirring of the blood stakes with their national anthem. Australia would have to be very, very close to the bottom of the queue with its current dirge, which is about as uninspiring as the politicians who foisted it upon us (clones of whom occupy the government benches in Canberra today).

90% of those who sing it have no idea what "girt by sea" means, and the Political Correctness Police have changed the words from the original. Apparently, today we can't have "Australian sons let us rejoice..." as it was originally written, but instead, must sing "Australians all let us rejoice..."

Not that there's too much to rejoice about at the moment in Ozmate, and the way the current government is going, it will soon be debatable if we will be able to sing the second line "...for we are young and free..." in future years.

Philosophy is a bit hard. Even eternally stable countries like USA, Canada and Australia would need constantly changing words. That is what the original complaint in this thread was.

The words are an historic remnant of a point in time. Look at the beautiful German anthem which has survived the wildest swings in national philosophy possible.

I think National Songs are the place to push philosophy - Waltzing Matilda, Battle Hymn of the Republic, Land of Hope and Glory and the fantastic Welsh anthem above for example and much better to sing at internationally attended drunken pub gatherings. In such situations Anthems tend to dampen the whole atmosphere in a jingoistic battle for supremacy.

Anthems are like audio flags and always create protocol problems and always create complaints about the order played, the version played, the length of each, the loudness of each etc etc.

The thing that really, really gives me the s...ts is listening to some drug addled guitar player or 18 year old **** singing through her nose at huge public event, rearranging the anthem to display their vocal and musical "talents". It sends most of the audience insane but the organisers keep bringing them on.

Agreed Andu, I'm not a fan.

for some peculiar reason they only ever seem to sing the first, and occasionally third, verses. :rolleyes:
Hawke got rid of the second verse because it was too royalist.

Most people couldn't remember the words to the third verse even if you threatened them with violence, so it doesn't usually get an airing. :suspect:

Froggies have first place by far in the stirring

Definitely stirring :E

A Frenchman Went to the Lavatory
(Tune - Le Marsellaise)

A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To enjoy a jolly good sh*t;
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it;
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before
Ou est le papier, ou est le papier;
Monsieur, monsieur, j'ai fait 'manure';
Ou est le papier!

DX....nice video :ok:...but there again, I do like Welsh choirs.:)

On the other hand, here is a candidate failing his Welsh citizenship test :E

John Redwood making a fool of himself - YouTube

I agree wholeheartedly that the English anthem is a dirge...about as inspirational as a wet Sunday in February in Stornoway and a "glorious testimonial" to the days of Empire ( deceased ).

I know that little French tune and lyrics, indeed I recall 17 recanting it at Coltishall to some French chaps who were also there on a det...I seem to also recall diplomatic relations broke down shortly after we gave a reprise in case they missed it the first time round.

And finally, some need not be so self-deprecating and indeed modest about their origin and desire to return to such, if indeed they have actually left in the first place.

The Aussie one works heaps better with a different tune:

Adam Hills Australian National Anthem - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6TNCf0cwJsY)

Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,May by thy mighty aid,Victory bring.May he sedition hush,and like a torrent rush,Rebellious Scots to crush,God save the Queen.
If you want offensive how about this verse?

H

Possibly someone has a clip of the Glasgow Tabernacle Choir singing "Land of our Fathers" in Scots Gaelic backed up by the Southern leaning Northerners doing it in Irish. As it does not actually seem to mention Wales by name maybe it could be a more unifying anthem. The English could have their choice of singing it in Ancient Britain, Latin, various Gaelic languages, various Nordic languages, Saxon or French even Urdu or Hindi.

The BS family is about as multi-cultural as you can get without joining the United Nations. A mixture of English, Malay, Chinese and Scottish, our religious elements encompass several varieties of Christianity with a bit of Judaism and Islam stirred in - a magic, mad mixture. Isn't that just what being British is all about actually? But we all agree that those who come to dwell among us need to adapt to our crazy mixed up ways and not the other way around.

Anyone who is offended by our national anthem is, by definition, unfit for British citizenship, so the requirement to know the words is a good test question in a citizenship examination.

It's not quite your nation athhem, but I know 'Land of Hope and Glory' holds a very special place in the hearts of many in the Old Dart. Back in the very early 70s, two RAAF pilots on the RAF helicopter instructor's course in the UK almost caused an unmendable fissure in Empir...sorry, Commonwealth relations when they and their RAF coursemates were watching the last night at the proms on the BBC on the O's Mess TV.

When LoH&G came on, (causing more than a few lumps in the throats and proud swelling in the breasts of the British majority in the room), the two colonials, (more than a well-oiled, it must be admitted), to the consternation of their hosts, stood, and loudly, (very loudly, I'm told), put their own words to it - Rolf Harris' "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport".

Try it - it fits the tune perfectly, from the first verse right to the last verse.

"Tie my kangaroo down, sport,
Tie my kangaroo down,
Tie my kangaroo down, sport,
Tie my kangaroo down..."

all the way to

So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,
And (up an octave) that's it hangin' on the shed,
(gradually down an octave) da,da,da, da, da da da da,
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,
and... that's... it.... hangin' on.. the... (sob) sh...edddd."

Its only the rebellious Scots who are to be crushed, Heston. We can wait for the results of Mr. Salmond's referendum to find out who they are, round them up at musket point and maroon them all on Rockall.

The non-rebellious Scots can continue to be British and carry on ruling over we English at Westminster. :)

Personally, I always sing the "Lloyd George knew my father" version. :}

Anyone who is offended by our national anthem is, by definition, unfit for British citizenship, so the requirement to know the words is a good test question in a citizenship examination.

Anyone offended by anything in their prospective new homeland should rethink their motivations for going in the first place. If you're not prepared to integrate, then there can only be trouble ahead. Hmmm, now where does that sound like ? :yuk: :rolleyes:



SHJ

What is wrong with the bit 'Confuse her enemies'?

The test for British Citzenship.

A mixture of the citizenship requirements, as they apply in Switzerland, Australia and the USA, for non required and specific skilled applicants.

Minimum requirement 5 years residence.
Medical insurance must be provided by self, proven medical independence.
No benefits, medical or state financial aid permitted.
Rollover residence permit renewable every 2 years.
Police certificate of character must accompany each 2 year application.
Must be applied for outside the UK.
No rights at all accrue for adult relations.

Minimum educational standard for citizenship test after 5 years permanent residence.

Examination in English to proficient standard.
Examination in British history to proficient standard.
(By special concession Scots history may be excluded from this requirement).

"Examination in English to proficient standard.
Examination in British history to proficient standard."

How many school leavers would qualify?

I can answer question 1 on the Brunei Citizenship examination:

The full name and title of the ruler is:

Duli Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien, Sultan dan Yang Dipertuan Negara Brunei Darussalam.

[I can say it out loud - just like that - too.]

You must also be able to sing the national anthem - all of it, not just the first verse.

You can't take the examination until you have
1. Achieved permanent residence status and for that you have to have lived there for 25 out of the last 27 years.
2. Become fluent in the Brunei dialect of the Malay language.

Unlike Britain, some countries take residence and citizenship very seriously.

Hutt River Province (http://www.hutt-river-province.com/) seems to have avoided this problem by not having a National Anthem. It's a place which I am keen to visit sometime.
Krystal, Welsh Choirs, especially the Mail Voice ones, have very special qualities of warmth, depth and a real feeling for music.
Blacksheep, is that the full name and title of the gentleman known as Prince Geoffrey?

It would appear that I am wrong and that Hutt River Province does have a national Anthem.

National anthem of the Principality of Hutt River - YouTube

Would someone explain why we need any more foreign immigrants? Particularly those whose religion & culture is not compatible with our existing Western religions, thought, culture, and way of life?

I mean foreign immigrants and not the skilled citizens of EU member states who are free to move around the EU seeking work. These EU citizens retain their nationality and national passports, and do not become pseudo British.

By the way this is my best translation of Windys Welsh post ;)
"Dear country of my fathers. Famed for singers, bards, brave warriors and patriots, who lost their blood for freedom. May my love for you remain true and pure."

Wot 'appens to them what are tone deaf and can't sing?:sad:

Would someone explain why we need any more foreign immigrants? Particularly those whose religion & culture is not compatible with our existing Western religions, thought, culture, and way of life?


Soshal ingineerin innit mate, that's wot i woz told. :*



SHJ

...is that the full name and title of the gentleman known as Prince Geoffrey? No, and its Prince Jefri.

His name is Duli Yang Teramat Mulia Pengiran Digadong Sahibul Mal Pengiran Muda Jefri Bolkiah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien.

(Duli Yang Maha Mulia translates as "His Majesty" whereas a Duli Yang Teramat Mulia is just a measly "Royal Highness")

There's a lot of confusion over who is who, especially among former beauty queens of a gold digging persuasion, who can't tell the difference between a Royal Palace and THE Royal Palace... :rolleyes:

Prince Jefri seems to have settled his arguments with his eldest brother and settled back into the hum-drum, protocol-bound life in the golden cage.

As to migration, we have a real live Nigerian Princess living in one of the flats in our block. She's on a student visa but shows no sign of graduating and going home.

I thought he was called Two Tits?

I think he's had his hands on more than two, cc. :suspect:

Tits was his yacht and there were two launches on it called Nipple 1 and Nipple 2.

http://www.borneo.com.au/images/brunei/tits.jpg



But we deviate from the topic. . .



One function of citizenship is to differentiate between privileges of those who are citizens of a country and those who are visitors or "guests". While foreign citizens - known as aliens - may be granted permission to enter and remain upon the sovereign territory, there should always be a reserved right to terminate that permission and oblige an alien to return to their own country. In recent years that reserved right has been severely eroded to the extent that we can no longer deport undesirable aliens because it may violate their "human rights".

Ah. a good upstanding member of his faith then?:confused:

As the actress said to the bishop. . . :suspect:

I took the citizenship test about four or five years ago. About a third of the book you had to study was on how to claim various housing and work benefits :rolleyes:

we have a real live Nigerian Princess living in one of the flats in our block. She's on a student visa but shows no sign of graduating and going home


most council estates in london have at least one of them !

"real live Nigerian Princess "

I thought they usually earnt their money through coming and going? Ugandan discussions anyone?...

Vee Tail 1 Shame on you not knowing the words of your adopted homelands national anthem, Mind you a good try at the translation but it's usually refered to as Land of my Fathers. :ok: (and they do call parts of Pembrokeshire litttle England beyond Wales)

Ms Wombat I'm filling up already. Young Bryn has excellent taste. Diolch yn fawr!

It's Ironic that there is no English national anthem and that God save the Queen is the Anthem of the United Kingdom and colonies.
Also is there such a thing as a British citizen these days as I thought they had made us all subjects of the United Kingdom these days with a rather tight legal framework to remove the right of entry to denizens of our former colonial territories. :confused:;)

I have always felt a little uncomfortable with the title 'British citizen' and am more at home to 'British subject' as we are not members of a republic (thank God) but subjects of HM the Queen.

Oh how he would have LOVED to become President Blair.

But it was not to be. Sad really, for him.

Surely you are first and foremost a European. You might also be the holder of a British passport which is but one example of a set of travel documents issued by each European Union member state which permits travel and residence within the European Union but is basically a revenue raising piece of paperwork permitted to each European state under existing regulations as directed from the government in Brussels?

People forget we tried it here once more than a hundred years before the rest of them did,we had our revolution we had a President and we found it wanting so we went back to what we had before.
When the democratic choice of a head of state is betwixt two or three turds you always finish up with shit in charge, tiz axiomatic.
:rolleyes:

Would someone explain why we need any more foreign immigrants? Particularly those whose religion & culture is not compatible with our existing Western religions, thought, culture, and way of life? The country doesn't need them, but the Labour party does. Otherwise their voter base would evaporate.

Allow hundreds of thousands in, and give them homes and benefits that they could only dream of in their country of origin. It is obvious who they are going to put their mark against in the polling booth.

I used to think, wrongly obviously, that "Land of Hope & Glory
was a fitting English national Anthem.

sitigeltfel,
Yes, as has been said:
A government with the policy to rob Peter to pay Paul can be assured of the support of Paul.

Trite but true :)

" Would someone explain why we need any more foreign immigrants? Particularly those whose religion & culture is not compatible with our existing Western religions, thought, culture, and way of life? "

Edited; just saw the answer.......

" The country doesn't need them, but the Labour party does. Otherwise their voter base would evaporate. "

:D :D:D :D

The country doesn't need them, but the Labour party does. Otherwise their voter base would evaporate.

Allow hundreds of thousands in, and give them homes and benefits that they could only dream of in their country of origin. It is obvious who they are going to put their mark against in the polling booth.The Australian Labor (note: no 'u') Party has imported a Scots ex-Blair spin doctor who has quite obviously told them to employ the same tactics here, which it would appear they are doing with some alacrity.

There has been a recent article in one the UK online newspapers by a Swiss-born UK citizen, who recently took the citizenship (and English language) tests.

Some background first - he is 27 years old, lived in the UK since he was 2 years old, and schooled in the UK. He has degrees in English history from Cambridge and London, and is a university lecturer.

He was asked, 'Is you here for the English test?' on turning up at the appropriate venue. To pass the "Life in the UK'" test he had to answer questions that had the wrong answer - apparently Magna Carta was signed in 1316 and the Germans invaded Russia in 1942. A little galling for a history lecturer, I imagine.

foreign immigrants - the "foreign" bit is probably tautolgy, but the answer is apparently 'yes', at least as far as the teaching of British history is concerned.:ooh:

There was a widely held belief during the good old "White Australia Policy" days that the language test was at the discretion of the immigration officials. Of course there was no official racist White Australia law it was just a "policy".

Quite reasonably the applicant was asked to do a simple language test as most countries require. He would be asked to read a few paragraphs of simple prose or a newspaper article.

The legend goes that the applicant not meeting the "policy" would be given the reading test.

"Mr Gupta, please just read the first two paragraphs of this newspaper article as a simple language test"

"Certainly.......................Hold on, this is in Russian!"

"Well, Russian is a language isn't it. I am sorry, if you can't complete the test we can not process your application further. Please feel free to apply at a later date".

I took the citizenship test about four or five years ago. About a third of the book you had to study was on how to claim various housing and work benefits I think that most of the applicants will have been in UK long enough to have had it all worked out for them. There's a Benefits Industry out there, catering especially to new arrivals.

A friend who was a social worker (ok, ok. I admit that I do socialise with some socialists, but only socially) until she retired at age 40 to go on benefits herself, tried explaining it all to me. I'm still baffled. Her husband, who is in work but receives income support, has been granted £2,500 to take a holiday. Apparently there are lots of wheezes like this in the system, to be exploited by those who know their way around. :suspect:

Exploiting the 'Benefits System' is a career choice for many people.

I chap I once knew told me he was appalled, when he discovered both his daughters (who lived away from home) were experts in living off Benefits.

I would not be surprised if there's a networking system whereby these people pass around tips on how to carry out this exploitation.

...if there's a networking system...There is - as I hinted above. Its called Social Services and its employees are public servants.

The British Citizenship "test" is nothing more than a crafty tax that proves nothing really save for the fact that the would be immigrant can read and cram sufficient facts into his or her noggin to pass and, of course, pay the rather hefty fee.

I wonder how many native born Brits would pass the test?

Here are some examples of the irrelevancy of this "test".

Workpermit.com - Immigration - UK - Naturalisation (Citizenship) - Sample Life in the UK Citizenship Test (http://www.workpermit.com/uk/naturalisation/life_in_the_uk/quiz.htm)

Edited to say that as an immigrant I found swearing an oath of allegiance to the queen far more meaningful than any of the abovementioned clap trap.

Caco

I sat and did this with a South African friend who is in the process of applying for British nationality. He got 15/20, I got 17/20.

Found this:
In the UK, it is traditional to give Easter eggs made from chocolate to children. What do the eggs symoblise? (sic)

A Fertility and happiness

B New life and the coming of spring

C Love and hope

D Prosperity and good fortune


It is, of course, none of these.
How :mad: PC can we get?
Here's a clue: The UK is a culturally Christian country.

Way back when working in Darmstadt, Germany I had a colleague M, who was born in the USA of parents who originally came from Darmstadt. Needless to say despite having American nationality she spoke, wrote and read German perfectly, even having a strong Darmstadt accent.

As an American citizen wanting permanent residence and other things, she applied for German nationality. Came back from the government test and I asked how it was. "Well," she said "they burst out laughing when they heard my accent, then they they just asked me to copy out a paragraph of the Darmstädter Echo (newspaper) in my own hand-writing, they looked at it and chucked it in the WPB. It all took less than five minutes. 'You're fine' they said. Papers stamped, 'sign here, you're a German citizen'.

But there was a Somali lady there, they were dictating passages, making her read them back aloud, asking questions about the history of Germany, the poitical parties, she was still there when I left, been there hours".

Life in the United Kingdom test - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_in_the_United_Kingdom_test#Errors_and_inaccuracies_in_the_material)

:rolleyes:

In the UK, it is traditional to give Easter eggs made from chocolate to children. What do the eggs symoblise? (sic)

A Fertility and happiness

B New life and the coming of spring

C Love and hope

D Prosperity and good fortune

Funny that, as that was one of the questons I got wrong. I got the sport one wrong too. and the one about the house of Commons.

There was a suggestion in the radio announcement that applicants wouls need to know about British inventions such as television and radar. Which just shows how pig ignorant anybody coming up with those questions is.

In the UK, it is traditional to give Easter eggs made from chocolate to children. What do the eggs symoblise? (sic)


More skiing holidays for dentists!

Caco

radeng,
My understanding is that RADAR as detection was first demonstrated on the Continent and the first working TV system was demonstrated by John Logie Baird.
Both demonstrations were, of course, built upon principles observed in the 19th century but were the first to actually work.
So, TV but not RADAR?

Tableview,
the one about the house of Commons
Now, in that one I thought there were two correct answers.
PM is
a) Leader of winning party
AND
b) Appointed by HMTQ (Inasmuch as she asks him to form a government and act as HER first minister)


p.s. I reckon we're going to end up arguing over angels and pinheads ;)

Basil : Exactly my thinking, and I opted for b. which is not the answer they wanted. I don't think David Cameron was the leader of the winning party as the Cons didn't in fact win the last election, did they?

John Logie Baird - a Scotsman - is generally accepted as the inventor of TV, but I've heard it erroneously referred to as a South African invention, as he (allegedly) lived in SA for a few years although I've never found any evidence that this is true, but he did marry a South African opera singer.

I thought radar was invented by a German but most of these things result from a string of experiments and observations and can rarely be attributed to a single 'inventor'.

One I got wrong was the 'consumption of which substances causes crime'. I, in my naivety, answered 'Alcohol' where I should have answered 'Hard Drugs'. And I know, from personal observation, which form of consumption causes most crime.

Basil

It depends what you mean by TV. Baird's TV was a mechanical monstrosity: the TV of today has no relationship.

You're right about radar. The first radar patent was Christian Hullsmeyer's 'Telemobiloscope' of 1904. Some say he was a Dane and some a German.

The Gema company in Germany were working on radar in 1933, and the German Navy had the Seetakt at 375 MHz before WW2: the RN got radar in 1941. It caused a bit of a fuss when they found the antennas on the Graf Spee after if was scuttled.....At the outbreak of war, radar work was going on in France, Germany, Italy, Russia, Japan, USA, Australia and Britain. Pulse radar for measuring the height of the ionosphere was first done by Tuve and Breit in the US in 1925.

So any claim for 'Britain inventing radar' is rubbish. There even seems to be evidence that the Japanese had the cavity magnetron in 1939, but could find no use for it. Understandable, as without the silicon diode mixer and the klystron local oscillator, it wasn't that much use. Britain did have the first air defence system with integrated radar, though.

Indeed but we did come up with the first cavity magnetron that did not need 27 Hindenburg Zeppelins lashed together to lift off the deck.
There's a story about that,how true I know not,a couple of our radar boffins were flown to America to see how the Cousins were getting on with their radar research,they were ushered into a room with many six foot tall electrical equipment bays arrayed around the wall,their host swept his arm around the room and said with pride "behold! a cavity magnetron" our chap plonked a small polished wooden box on the table pointed at it and said "Behold! a cavity magnetron"
:rolleyes:

I am taking this test on Thursday, so I have memorised all the questions and answers and feel that I want a cracker and take a poo on a newspaper.

No change there, then.

How about naming ten Prime Ministers out of the last twelve, ten monarchs out of the last twelve, Jordan's ten paramours out of a possibly larger number, Ian Botham's nickname and just one piece of classical music that's been written in Britain? What did the Romans ever do for us, and what was the original purpose of Stonehenge? How did Rod Hull die, and what was Guy Gibson's dog called? Which one was the gay Kray, and why do we still force some people to learn Welsh?

SO
(I took it in 2009 for something different - it took two minutes)

I once got a magnet from a magnetron stuck on the door of a steel tool locker. It took four of us and a Manila rope to get it off again.

. . . And that was by sliding it off sideways!! :eek:

mr draper
the big cheese bloke at the science museum said if the place is on fire thats the only thing i would grab!

Funny how everyone forgets the 'Sutton tube' as the Americans called it and the silicon diode, and their importance to radar.

All done, 24 correct out of 24.

Three minutes of my life I shan't have back.

The most challenging question was "Can vou open a bank account at some supermarkets?"

SO

I am pleased to say that I failed miserably, 54%, having got wrong every question which had anything to do with socialist policy, free hand outs and not needing to provide satisfactory ID on applying for a job.
Am I to be deported next time through, one can only hope that MI6 have my test results on file and rise to the occasion, never to have to darken those fatal shores again!

what was Guy Gibson's dog called

And what did it have in common with the Mayor's classic truncated line in "Blazing Saddles" ?

You're right about radar. The first radar patent was Christian Hullsmeyer's 'Telemobiloscope' of 1904. Some say he was a Dane and some a German.

The chap is actually called Christian Hülsmeyer, and he was indeed a German (born in Eydelstedt, died in Ahrweiler).

At a conference on radar technology held in 1953 in Frankfurt, which was attended by both Christian Hülsmeyer and Robert Watson-Watt (who had been promoted by Winston Churchill as the inventor of RADAR) a compromise was found in as much Watson-Watt was no longer considered the "sole" inventor of radar technology.

Citizenship
1. What was the ultimate answer?
2. What was the Stormy Petrel on?
3. What does "Left a bit" mean, and what were they steering?
4. Who was about to use a meat cleaver on a duck?
5. Finish the sentence "Hang on lads, I've............" (or the door off sketch)
6. Who acted as Lara?
7. Who said "I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens."?
8. Who said "I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure"?
9. Who was of Dock Green?
10. Who was the test pilot of the P1127?

alternative UK citizenship test based on culture norms..

all candidates put in a room with application papers.. one processing window open..

anyone who doesn't form a queue.. bzzzzt... rejected.

of those that do, any that complain, ask for a supervisor, shout or protest bzzzzt.. rejected.

of those that remain any that just simply tut in annoyance or mutter to the people in the queue behind them about how poor the service is but don't voice it audibly, go through to the next stage of processing.