Shell Management in the flesh

[js0987]

Shell Management - Just for You
#ShellFAIL: Private Arctic Launch Party Goes Wrong - YouTube

[SASless]

Classic "Shell" response to a disaster......"Can I have that Cell Phone please!"

Translated from Shell-Speak into plain English....."We don't want no stinking cameras anywhere in sight of the disaster!"

[rotor-rooter]

Here is our esteemed and valued friend Shell Management at work. You simply couldn't make this stuff up! :)
#ShellFAIL: Private Arctic Launch Party Goes Wrong - YouTube

[ShyTorque]

Have they managed to cap that well yet? :E

[Basil]

"Why are you still filming?" "Can I have that 'phone, please?"
Would 'Cheeky :mad:!' be too strong an expression?

[roundwego]

Another Shell attempt to cover up the fact they didn't follow their own SMS, QMS, EMS, SeMS, H&SMS, HEMP procedures !!

[OvertHawk]

kudos to whoever loosened the pipe! :E :D

[Staticdroop]

That is one of the best I've seen on here for ages:D

[mhale71]

hmmph

#ShellFAIL - Viral Campaigners Revealed - YouTube

[Shell Management]

Well, well, well, the joke is on you lot my gullible friends:):):):):):):):):):):)

Its all a hoax by eco-agitators determined to stop the legitimate business of a well respected international corporation fulfilling its civic duty by meeting the public's energy demands.

Internet hoax takes aim at Shell's Arctic plan - Upstreamonline.com (http://www.upstreamonline.com/live/article1249189.ece)

Luke Johnson 08 June 2012 22:20 GMT

Environmental activists staged an elaborate internet hoax this week in protest of Shell's plans to drill in Arctic waters off Alaska, fooling thousands of viewers including some media outlets.

The hoax started with a video purporting to show a public relations event hosted by Shell at the Space Needle in Seattle, where the ice-class drilling barge Kulluk and drillship Noble Discoverer are docked awaiting deployment to Alaska.

In the video, shot with a shaky camera phone, an elderly woman attempts to get a drink from a miniature dispenser designed to look like a drilling rig. As she struggles to pour the drink, the dispenser malfunctions and spews brownish liquid all over the horrified woman.

"Turn it off!" demands one of the actors portraying a Shell official. "I can't turn it off!" another responds.

Click here to watch the video.

The fake video, entitled #ShellFAIL, was posted on the front page of popular internet site Reddit and was linked to and tweeted repeatedly, reportedly hitting the number two slot on YouTube's most-watched videos on Thursday. It was followed up by an emailed "press release", which was also fake, sent to many media outlets on behalf of Shell.

The fake press release claimed that Shell was considering legal action against the "unknown" activists behind the video. It falsely quoted a (fake) Shell spokesman as saying: "Activist groups are becoming increasingly desperate in their attempts to block our federally approved right to drill in the Arctic, and are resorting to ever more underhanded tactics."

Several media organisations (not Upstream) were duped by the hoax and have since issued corrections.

Environmental group Greenpeace, media specialists Yes Lab and activists with the Occupy Wall Street movement claimed responsibility for the hoax.

"This experience shows that a few energised people can compete with the billions that Shell spends on advertising and lobbying," said Greenpeace's James Turner, who played the role of a Shell official in the video.

Shell later issued a real statement on the hoax: "Recently groups that oppose Shell’s plans in offshore Alaska have posted a video that purports to show Shell employees at an event at the Seattle Space Needle. Shell did not host, nor participate in an event at the Space Needle and the video does not involve Shell or any of its employees. A fake press release claiming that Shell is considering legal action following the launch of the video was also distributed to the media.

"We continue to focus on a safe exploration season in 2012."

Shell spokeswoman Kelly op de Weegh (actually) added: "We are more focused on this year's responsible exploration programme, providing new jobs, and gathering data on the energy resource available offshore Alaska. We're ramping up to the drilling season and focused on doing that safely."

On Friday, the activists released a behind-the-scenes video of the hoax. It can be watched here.

Sadly too many people here seem bitter and twisted because:
They don't meet high SAI experience and competence standards They have been found out during an audit They feel (correctly) inferior to SAI aviation advisors They mistakenly believe they could run an air logistics operation better than Shell They have been put on the list as not required back




It must be remembered that Shell Aircraft International are the world leaders in aviation safety and the driving force behind all major safety successess of the last 20 years.

As ICAO run to catch up with SAI, the 7/7=1 initiative is the bedrock of the hole IHST initiative to reduce accidents globally by 80% in 10 years just as Shell has done:
Rotor & Wing Magazine :: 7/7=1 (http://www.aviationtoday.com/rw/products/engines/771_1369.html)

Or see more of SAI's industry leadership here:
http://www.caa.lv/upload/userfiles/files/SMS/Read%20first%20quick%20overview/SHELL%20Safety%20Cases%20C%20J%20Edwards.pdf
and
http://www.raes-hfg.com/reports/08dec00-businesscase/comp-mon.pdf
and
http://www.hfdm.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=Aja%2BDkVrox8%3D&tabid=2889&mid=4398&language=es-MX
and
http://www.ebace.aero/2011/archives/presentations/20110517-sheffield-is-bao-industry-standards.pdf

Everyone in SAI are heros that deserve your praise and adulation.

So the last laugth is really on YOU.

[Shell Management]

js0987 says Shell Management - Just for You

And from his porch rockingchair SASless opines
Classic "Shell" response to a disaster......"Can I have that Cell Phone please!"

Translated from Shell-Speak into plain English....."We don't want no stinking cameras anywhere in sight of the disaster!"

Well, well, well, the joke is on you my gullible friends:D:D:D:D

Its all a hoax by eco-agitators determined to stop the legitimate business of a well respected international corporation fulfilling its civic duty by meeting the public's energy demands. :E

Internet hoax takes aim at Shell's Arctic plan - Upstreamonline.com (http://www.upstreamonline.com/live/article1249189.ece)

Perhaps some one can PM SASless and point out his mistake. While happy to talk about me he has decided to ignore my messages (the sign of someone who knows they are wrong).

[Wizzard]

Made oi larf

[Sir Korsky]

#ShellFAIL: Private Arctic Launch Party Goes Wrong - YouTube

[Shell Management]

Sir Korsky

You do know that video is a HOAX by eco-agitators don't you?

They are just the people who would want to ground helicopters and ban SUVs and have you eating lentils and dancing around a campfire outside your yurt singing cum by ya.

[js0987]

"Comedy had to be based on truth. You take the truth and put a little curliecue on the end"

[Shell Management]

Here the truth is that some political eco agitators can play on irrational fears of the general public and stage hoxes without any fear for their own credibility

Remember Brent Spar? It was subsequently proven that Greenpeace's 'scientific claims' about toxic substances aboard the bouy were false and that Shell's original environmental assessment was fair, balanced and correct.

[Basil]

Certainly fooled me and I think I'm a cynical barsteward.
Clearly not cynical enough.
. . . . or was it real after all? :suspect:

[Shell Management]

All part of a push to get a few more names on a petition and no doubt bring in more funds to propel their leadership on more international jaunts: ACT! - Greenpeace UK (http://act.greenpeace.org.uk/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=18&ea.campaign.id=13413)

[gasax]

Interesting that Shell Management talks about the Brent Spar.

He is technically correct in that the claims for toxic materials made by Greenpeace about the Spar were incorrect. Which is scarcely surprising given that only Shell actually had the data.

But Brent Spar - even internally in Shel,l is used as the prefect example of 'Group Think' - where a professional team essentially believed that only their own ponit of view was valid - and so dismissed all dissenting opinions - because of course they came from people who were nothing like as clever as they were (also something of a Dutch characteristic!).

On that basis Shell Management might even be Shell Management (but without the essential extra training that real Shell managers now get, to ensure they don't screw things up so badly again!).

[diginagain]

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

[Bravo73]

He's not the Messiah, he's a fecking eejit!

I hope you don't mind but I've tried to fix that for you... ;)

After being on Rotorheads for nearly a decade (:O), it took a recent comment from SASless to realise that PPRuNe has an 'ignore' feature. Now that I don't have to read 'Shell' Management's rubbish, Rotorheads is a much nicer place once again.

And please remember everyone - DON'T FEED THE TROLL.

[rotor-rooter]

Shell Management says;
Well, well, well, the joke is on you lot my gullible friends


Oh, the beautiful irony of it! ;)

[roundwego]

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

[Laundryboy]

I really struggle with this SM fellow, whoever he is. In my 35+years of N.Sea experience, Shell as a company are without doubt the most appallingly arrogant bunch of individuals to work for/with, and Shell aviation are no better. Difficult to know where to start with regard to constructive criticism of this company, but as a starter for ten - the day after the Piper Alpha disaster there was an explosion on the Brent Alpha, apparently caused by the same problem experienced on the Piper (without the subsequent fire). Cladding was blown off two sides of the platform, I think it was level three, and a blast proof door was blown away like tin foil. I saw the damage from the air, and spoke to witnesses on the platform. Any mention of this in the press, from the 'well respected international corporation fulfilling its civic duty', not a whisper. I could go on, but why bother - all of us in the industry know what Shell are about.

[helonorth]

Laundry boy, you did say "you simply couldn't make this stuff up." Apparently you can!

[topendtorque]

Clearly the perpetraitors (my spelling) have fielded their video in the wrong forum and without some basic sh1te stirring skills.

They could take a trick or two from Animals Australia and the Four Corners program where with less than five minutes of mostly fabricated video a whole industry was brought to its knees and is now after twelve months, not even back to crawling with no end of relief in sight.

Maybe a mug shot of the grand messiah SM himself might do the trick, just a :mad: thought?:)

[diginagain]

I hope you don't mind but I've tried to fix that for you... Not at all. :ok:

[SiClick]

It must be remembered that Shell Aircraft International are the world leaders in aviation safety and the driving force behind all major safety successess of the last 20 years.

The driving force hey! A rather arrogant statement!
I was under the impression there were several professional bodies that strived to improve aviation safety!
Again a very arrogant post
There are many safety organisations around the world promoting Aviation Safety, shell are but one of them
We have never met and already I don't like you!

[roundwego]

There is no doubt that Shell, as an organisation, has earned a reputation of arrogance due to their totally false self perception that they are the best and are above everyone else in the oil industry food chain. As far as Shell Aircraft is concerned, this goes back to one of its founders by the name of Douglas Bader who lost both his legs when he crashed having lost control of his aircraft when showing off. He was then raised onto a pedestal for propaganda purposes during the war and his abilities and character were subsequently grossly over-glorified in the film Reach For The Sky. When he left the RAF, his arrogant attitudes were carried over into SHell Aircraft which was set up to provided aviation expertise to the various Shell oil companies around the world but was in fact an "old boy's club" for Bader's cronies after the end of the war.

In my 30 odd years of offshore and onshore aviation experience, I have, at various periods in my career, worked closely with Shell Aircraft staff. Some of them as individuals are excellent, some average and like any organisation, there is the odd individual who has slipped through the net and has been promoted beyond their capability. Some of the individuals in Shell Aircraft recognise and are embarrassed by the reputation they have earned due to their predecessors' attitudes and behaviours and work hard to shake it off.

Having said that, in my opinion, not even the lowest calibre employee of Shell Aircraft would lower him to post the sort of posts that the person posing as "Shell Management" does. He is obviously a complete imposter who has probably been kicked out of Shell in the past and is unemployed or working in some menial job but satisfies his false sense of importance by posting on this forum.

Why I have wasted my time reacting to his posts, I do not know - but I feel better for it !

PS. It is also interesting to note that despite the presence of The Shell Aircraft expertise within the Shell group of companies, the aviation safety record within Shell is no better than that of other oil companies.