The Military is Mollycoddled

[Courtney Mil]

This short segment appeared on the BBC Oxford News last night (3 April 2012). I was so incensed I had to record it to show you. All seems well until an RAF Sargeant's Wife reveals the truth about military families. Strange, but I don't ever recall being mollycoddled, especially when time came for me to leave.

BBC Oxford News - 3 Apr 12 (http://www.projectoceanvision.com/temp/Mollycoddled-mqp.wmv)


Someone that isn't about to leave? Someone that thinks speaking nationally about how well she's treated will get her husband promoted? Someone that believes the leaflets in the Hive?

Thank you for your carefully chosen words and the immense good you have just done to the military cause.

Oh, of course. Before you say it, it must be an RAF thing!

Angry of RAF Finmere.

[Whenurhappy]

SP and their families are 'looked after' to a greater degree than almost any other employment/social group, but that's also part of the Military Covenant (and that's not being mollycoddled!).

However, the degree of support given to SP and families is changing and progressively reducing, and that's probably not a bad thing. Most spouses work if they can and more SP aspire to owning their own properties (hence why many spouses work). I have lost count of the numebr of senior personnel (mainly Army Lt Cols) who, in the months up to leaving the service, are despeartely scrabbling around to buy a property, set up a mortgage and think about what to do next!

Additionally, there is the risk that SP and ex-SP are viewed as 'victims'; a quick scan of how SP are depicted in the media (in TV shows, dramas etc) underlines this: PTSD/heavy drinking/ill-educated/northern speakers/violent offenders who can't adjust to 'civvie' life. There's sympathy for them, but not much else. Set against this are the usual ignorance and prejudices: eg belief of tax free salaries, free housing, brutal discipline, National Service stereotypes ad nauseum

Over the last year I have been engaging in the 'civvie' job market. There is a lot of good will extended to SP, but that doesn't always equate to job offers. The advice when going for a job is to 'civilianise everything' - such as CVs, dress and behaviour. Clearly a CV full of TLAs, regimental/sqn tie and blazer, and drinking & swearing during work time might not be appropriate, but nor should we hide that we are/have been service personnel engaged in a unique role within Society. In one interview, the Senior Partner questioned me at length on my time in AFG - not to do with my suitability, but out of real interest, but at the end, tellingly, asked if I was haunted by nightmares (no, was my answer). I didn't get that job; a better offer has come along overseas.

[Chugalug2]

It takes all sorts, Courtney, including the good Sergeant's wife. Personally I was much impressed by the other two interviewees, the Oxford Council Leader and the Welfare Co-ordinator. Sounds as though they are very much pro Service in Oxfordshire. No doubt the sad cortèges from BN concentrate minds wonderfully. Wars bring misery and suffering, but they do remind we civvies of the debts we owe. Small compensation perhaps, but better that than indifference, which perhaps the Sgts wife would be more comfortable with.

[Wensleydale]

Additionally, there is the risk that SP and ex-SP are viewed as 'victims'; a quick scan of how SP are depicted in the media (in TV shows, dramas etc) underlines this: PTSD/heavy drinking/ill-educated/northern speakers/violent offenders who can't adjust to 'civvie' life. There's sympathy for them, but not much else. Set against this are the usual ignorance and prejudices: eg belief of tax free salaries, free housing, brutal discipline, National Service stereotypes ad nauseum




My highlighting in bold. I can see who the last underline refers to!!!

:mad: Grrr.

[taxydual]

Playing Devils Advocate.

I would have liked to have known the question the BBC interviewer posed to Mrs Evans to elicit that response.

I was caught out, some years ago, responding to a BBC question. My reply was turned 180 degrees by very clever BBC editing. Thankfully my boss was present and heard both the question and my answer. He backed me up when the sh*t was about to hit the fan.

[Whenurhappy]

Mr Wenslydale - I put that in as a 'hook' to see if anyone bothers to read these posts. My wife is Northern; After 16 years of marriage I can almost follow what she says now!

[ShyTorque]

What planet was that woman on? I don't recall my family ever being mollycoddled by the military.

Unable to be provided with a MQ at the place of my new unexpected posting, (which occurred due to a very short notice change of plan by the "system"), my family were allocated one 60 miles in the wrong direction, 210 miles away from my new base. So we decided to try to buy a house as close as we could get to the base. Far from easy in a booming housing sales market in an expensive area (don't talk to me about "gazumping"); it put us on the breadline. Having bought the house, having been told I was on a three year posting, I was posted away again after only six months due to another change of plan, and then again four months after that. My wife was now effectively a single parent of three.

During GW1 not one person from the military ever contacted my wife to see how she was getting along. Local doctors and dentists wouldn't accept my family on their books because they were "a service family". My family were totally separated from other family, friends and the military system of support that was supposed to be "mollycoddling" them and no-one gave a damn. :rolleyes:

Looking back, that was the thing that finally made me decide to take my option and leave the "mollycoddling" military to it.



Yes, civilian life has proved to be less "mollycoddled", thank goodness. :ok:

[BEagle]

Try being a 'single person living-out' and see how 'mollycoddled' you are....

1991 - Flew back from GW1. Asked Ops for transport across to collect my car from the car park over on the other side of the aerodrome. "Sorry, nothing available". Fortunately a RAFP corporal overheard my conversation and offered me a lift, then waited to check the car started OK.

2001 - Flown back from the South Atlantic early in the morning. Any chance of a lift to the OM long term car park? Nope. Struggled with bags various, only to find the car battery was flat. Rang Shirk-oh MT and asked if someone could pop by with some jump leads. "Sorry, elf 'n safety". Managed to get a jump start from a chap sneaking his girlfriend out of the OM though.

How things had changed in 10 years.

Admin after I'd left was woeful. It took all the tracking skills of Sherlock Holmes to find what they'd done with my medical records - the Med Centre hadn't given me whatever form they were supposed to. But the best bit was when I received a terse note from the Dental Centre some 3 months or so after I'd left the RAF - it was dated the previous week. So I rang them:
"About this note of yours...."
"Yes Sir, the S Dent O is rather cross as you're overdue a dental appointment"
"Ah - OK. Tell him to f**k off, would you"
"Sorry Sir??"
"I said Tell...Him...To...F**k...OFF! I'm no longer in the RAF, so tell him to sort out his admin."
"I'll be sure to see he gets the message, Sir. Anyway, thanks for calling".

:(

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

1989 - Just before Xmas, finished QRA (North Yorkshire Air Defence).
Girlfriend in London, roads icy and I was a biker. Amble into Mess, first person I bumped into was OC Ops.
"Any chance of a lift to the train station, Sir?"
"I can do better than that!"

Three hours later I was in a 32 Sqn HS125 enroute Northolt.

Proper Service that was!

[Al Murdoch]

Interesting thread...
I never felt mollycoddled in my Service career. Looking back now though - I can see that I was exceptionally well looked after when compared to civvy street, no two ways about it.

[glojo]

In my experience journalists working for local radio or TV will always attempt to get some controversial words into any interview as that is a sure method of getting their phones ringing, increase their audience and sadly get that journalist a few more brownie points. Just like other contributors to this thread, I would love to hear the full interview that naive lady gave. I suspect a lot of that footage is now in the bin but the remaining piece has achieved EXACTLY what the editorial staff wanted.

My thoughts are that service personnel need to have some type of preferential treatment when applying for housing but common sense must always prevail. Unfortunately not all serving men and women think about their own future, they might not fully understand that the day they walk out of that gate for the last time is actually the last night they have a guaranteed roof over their heads and four square meals :O:O

That councillor was far more camera savvy and I thought he came across very well, the poor woman was possibly out of her depth??

[Courtney Mil]

BBC Oxford News isn't News Corp. What you see there is the full segment, so I'm afraid we can't see what the question was or how the rest of the interview (if there was much more) went. I see them every night and I'd be very surprised if there was any manipulation. It sounded to me rather like someone spouting.

[Pontius Navigator]

Fox3, sometimes we get the help, other times we get the bat.

I came back from a 3 month overseas Det; in the time away the station had closed down. My car had been put in a hangar and someone even brought my greatcoat to the new station to wear as soon as I got out into the freezing December weather.

Another time we were bumped off an RTU indulgence flight because of DAC. At short notice a Comet Route Trainer was put on.

Or the round-UK Christmas flight dropping the Jocks off up north and the English dawn souff. Or the call for people wanting to jump onto the Nimrod shuttle - meant someone being given time off at no notice.

But officially, when it was not a question of blue helping blue and grey getting involved ............

[glojo]

BBC Oxford News isn't News Corp. What you see there is the full segment, so I'm afraid we can't see what the question was or how the rest of the interview (if there was much more) went. I see them every night and I'd be very surprised if there was any manipulation. It sounded to me rather like someone spouting. On reflection I agree and it does look like she was 'firing on all four cylinders!' Was she really that naive?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Aye Pontius, it was the round-UK flight I was put on.

As Johnson Beharry said, "Sometimes you da bug, sometimes you da windshield"

I have had the same level of mutual support as the RAF whilst working in UK boarding schools, though nowhere else in UK.
However, I now get it from the entire population as I live in Canada.

[Wander00]

Bet the old man does not take her into the Sergeants' Mess for a while - silly woman, sorry, "person"!

[langleybaston]

"Any chance of a lift to the train station, Sir?"

Interesting, and I think few if any of us said "train" in that context in those days.

"Bus station" yes, but "The Station" was either RAF Wotever, or where the trains were.

Funny old language.

[Geehovah]

Sometimes I felt looked after but, normally, that was because of good friends on the squadron or good leadership. Many times, when the system burst into action, I felt positively stifled. It really did boil down to the unit I was seving with at the time. Like many others I've had occasions where the logistics of just getting home were a challenge. Maybe the good Sgt's wife has just been lucky.

[Courtney Mil]

I agree and it does look like she was 'firing on all four cylinders!' Was she really that naive?

I suspect so, glojo. One thought that occurred to me last night was that she was regurgitating a view expressed to her by someone else. Maybe a comment about support to retiring or redundant SP along the lines of, 'they should get themselves sorted out and prepare for when they leave.' Who knows, but I'm sure it's a remark she and many around her will live to regret.

I hope her husband's transition to service life goes smoothly. Maybe that's the issue...

Maybe the good Sgt's wife has just been lucky.

He may be one of those people that always get all their leave, every ounce of resettlement and has been stationed at Brize, erm, sorry, a secret base in Oxfordshire, all his career. Owns a house near Carterton and can't see why everyone else can't have done the same thing.

[thing]

I thought that I had left all of that baggage behind, having left the mob in '95 but reading this thread has brought all the resentment back at the appaling way my family were treated at times. Appaling treatment of me was part of the job and accepted, appaling treatment of my family wasn't.

[Once A Brat]

Whilst I haven't actually seen the interview, I am fairly certain that I know (knew) the good wife in question - well her husband anyway....as confirmed via Facebook! Whilst I seem to remember that wifey was always a bit forthright in her views I get the impression that what she was trying to say and how it was interpreted are completely different but will confirm once I get home and into a proper computer and not an I-thingy that doesn't play .wmv files!

Courtney...whilst hubby may have spent a good proportion of his career at secret AT bases in that locality.....I first worked with him in Belize and then a couple of years later in Germany....both on leaping heaps. Nearly 20 years ago!

[Once A Brat]

PS........what I meant to add was, I agree with the majority of posters so far. My experiences of Service support, or lack of it, throughout my career means my family and I will have earnt every penny of my terminal grant and pension when I finally leave and we feel far from mollycoddled!

[ShyTorque]

Appaling treatment of me was part of the job and accepted, appaling treatment of my family wasn't.

Exactly my sentiment. :D

[Courtney Mil]

Agreed 100% It wasn't acceptable, but it happened. Actually, most of it wasn't appalling treatment, it was just a complete ignore. I guess it's that sort of treatment that made me so mad about that woman's remarks on BBC News.

[ShyTorque]

One thing I did find particularly apalling was when the terrorist threat of a car bomb was seen as too high for any private cars to be allowed through the main gate into the "TACEVAL" car park (this went on for some months).

Instead, all drivers were made to park on the OMQ roads, which was immediately outside the barrier, with no security in place. Right opposite my MQ was a car park at the rear of the OM and so about 150 cars (all of them unchecked by the RAF police) were parked right outside my house all day, every day. I had the constant worry of a car bomb taking out my family.

I voiced my concerns to the incumbent OC Admin who thought the risk perfectly acceptable. His own MQ was well away from any risk, though. :*

[Courtney Mil]

Shy,

We both must have missed the point. It appears that the buildings inside the wire were the valuable assets, the civilians were expendible. You don't think they were protecting us, do you?

[ShyTorque]

No, it was very obvious that they were doing exactly the opposite. The TACEVAL car park was just an open field, which made it even more galling.