Defence Secretary's First Speech

[chinook240]

'The Defence Secretary Philip Hammond is expected to warn of more painful decisions ahead in his first major speech in the job.'

So what will we learn?

[high spirits]

That he knows co*k all about his brief..
That he never wanted the job anyway...
That he owns an enormous £1000 leather chair at the MOD and a pension pot that would make a Master's wallet look tiny.

[Whenurhappy]

It will be along the lines of:

'In my brief time in the Department, I have been enormously impressed with the committment, professionalism and dedication of our Armed Forces and the civilians who support them. ...sucessful OP ALAMY...progress with ANSF...unstable world...pressures of the on-going fiscal crisis...hard look at how to meet challenges with capability...retain flexibility...move on from Cold War equipment and doctrine...difficult decisions...better, more capable forces by 2020...'

Am I right?

[aw ditor]

Unfortunately, yes!

[Al R]

If you look at his voting record, you'll see he didn't even bother voting on replacing Trident (slightly worrying for an aspiring Secretary of State for Defence?), especially as, when he was Shadow Secretary of State for Work & Pensions, he did vote for Occupational Pensions. Following on from High Spirits point, I wouldn't expect too much in respect of the Future Armed Forces Pension Scheme. When he was Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, he was quite clear.

We have to reform the way public sector pensions are delivered. We cannot continue with the situation where the vast majority of people in the private sector no longer have access to a final salary scheme and the vast majority of the public sector do.

I suppose its easy to have that kind of perspective when you're worth 7.5 millions and don't have to worry about the nitty gritty grind of daily life.

Philip Hammond's expenses - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/shadow-cabinet-expenses/5633905/Philip-Hammonds-expenses.html)

[glad rag]

So what happens when cold war 2 starts ramping up?

[gettit COLD War2]

[Whenurhappy]

err, no, I don't geddit.

Mr Thicko

[charliegolf]

Give it another week or two and he'll have very little to talk about.

CG

[Mach Two]

Erm, no. Nor me. Sure I'm missing something there.

Does the Minister get time off from Top Gear to do this?

[APG63]

Whenurhappy,

Good one! You don't write the Minister's speeches, do you? Or maybe you've just heard these things before.

[Red Line Entry]

Whenurhappy,

Ministry of Defence | About Defence | People | Speeches | Secretary of State Speeches | 2011/12/08 - Delivering on the Frontline: Operational Success and Sustainable Armed Forces (http://www.mod.uk/DefenceInternet/AboutDefence/People/Speeches/SofS/20111208DeliveringOnTheFrontlineOperationalSuccessAndSustain ableArmedForces.htm)

Pretty much spot on.

[glad rag]

Mr Thicko

You sure you don't know who has the keys for the gas valves?

[Whenurhappy]

I've been known to do some speech writing in the past in MB, and yes I have heard them all before! Frankly, there's bu%%er all else he could say, apart from, 'I wish now to be known as Clarrisa', yet that's unlikely to casue much shock and awe these days.

Do I win my GBP5?

Glad rag - I was calling myself Mr Thicko, cos I didn't get your Cold War reference...not sure that I still do, either.

[high spirits]

"But the purpose of the MOD isn’t simply to balance the books; it exists to ensure the defence of the country."

I didn't think that the purpose of the MOD had anything to do with balancing books and everything to do with the defence of the country. Showed his true colours.