If the RAF ran a school.. [Archive]

sooms

2nd Sep 2011, 08:28

Too many levels of management.
Not enough real teachers 'teaching' on the front line.
Focus would be primarily on teachers careers rather than the pupils or the good of the school.
Old and out of date technology.
Over emphasis on pointless KPI's.
Fail your PE Lesson and you're expelled.
Poor communication between departments.
A culture of fear and lack of personal integrity amongst staff to challenge the failings of the organisation and report failings to higher management for fear of a detrimental effect on their career.
Budget spent on pointless equipment.
Swap teachers and management around too frequently ensuring no-one sees the result of their actions and there is never a long term plan.
Have an appraisal system based on how an appraisal is written rather than what the individual is actually like.
Lots of pointless mission statements/ posters.

I could go on......

Tankertrashnav

2nd Sep 2011, 08:32

Dunno about a school, but if the RAF ran a university you could cut the length of most degree courses in half.

Doing a language degree 15 years after I left the service I was amazed how little time was actually involved in teaching/seminars/tutorials etc. Students on my course moaned that we had around 15 contact hours a week for three ten week terms a year (eight weeks at Oxbridge I believe), as they thought this was excessive. I compared this to my one year going through nav school when even my suggestion that we might have an hour free once a month for "admin" was scornfully rejected as a waste of valuable time.

And yes I know we had to write essays, spend time in the library etc at uni, but I had loads of time for leisure activities and basically just lazing around and still managed a 2:1 in the days before that degree had become as devalued as it now has. How about all the recently redundant service types setting up their own uni? Maybe MOD will give them a disused site for the purpose - there are plenty of them

Chicken Leg

2nd Sep 2011, 08:52

Each class would be taught by a head of year. Each head of year would be a headmaster, the headmaster would be SoS for Education.

The school secretary would hold similar influence to the headmasters' running each year.

There would be a caretaker for each room in the school.

The teaching staff would not socialise - or even talk, with the caretakers.

There would be more school bus drivers than students.

The there would be a similar number of school security guards. One would be an ex Met Police Commissioner, the remaining 200 would be pri**s.

The PE teacher would be despised by the remaining teaching staff (They didn't sign up to have to work alongside a PE teacher)

The school would place an order and spend most of its budget on ipad 1's, just as the ipad 2's come onto the shelves.

The school would have an electronic sign at the gate, telling arrivals how much electricity has been saved that month (used to put a smile on my face each time I arrived at Odiham!)

The school staff would happily sh*t on their colleagues at the school down the road, just to get that extra pack of A4 paper.

The other two schools down the road would snigger and laugh at the school for not being a real teaching establishment.

airborne_artist

2nd Sep 2011, 09:11

Would the RAF-run school make all the students wear the same backpack even if they didn't need it? :E

622

2nd Sep 2011, 09:39

On the plus side...all the school trips would last at least 6 months, with the next one beggining 2 weeks after getting back from the previous one.

Mothballed

2nd Sep 2011, 09:39

The small, efficient school would be closed by the S of S for Education because he went to the larger, more inefficient school in the next county.

airborne_artist

2nd Sep 2011, 09:50

The small, efficient school would be closed by the S of S for Education because he went to the larger, more inefficient school in the next county.

But they forgot to build enough class-rooms in advance, so lots of the lessons will take place in unsuitable buildings, and lots of the staff will have to live in the Travelodge or so far away that by the time they get home at night it will be time to get up and go to work again.

Lightning Mate

2nd Sep 2011, 10:26

Due to defence cuts etc., only one book per class and no funds for cleaners......

http://i636.photobucket.com/albums/uu82/Lightning_29/school.jpg

airpolice

2nd Sep 2011, 10:28

All the staff, apart from the manual workers, would be trained teachers.

Most of them would go through the RAF teacher training courses at massive expense, teach for one tour and then, just as they become productive, do a tour of three years in a non teaching post, such as pupil admin or management of the teachers who are actually teaching.

There would be cultural exchange visits to other schools and exchange postings to schools in other countries so that some teachers could learn how to teach subjects in other languages, and on returning from this tour, the teacher would do a staff tour in which they would forget all they had learned about teaching, and need a refresher course before being allowed into a classroom again. Every tour of teaching would be followed by a non teaching tour of such delights as media manager or working on recruiting students for the schools.

The vast majority of teachers in a school would not teach. Teachers would train to teach Nautical Studies, despite not having any boats. All classrooms would be equipped with state of the art electronic whiteboards that only the pupils know how to work. This technology drive will consume all of the money to the point where there is no budget left to heat and light the classrooms so some have to be mothballed.

Every now and then, visiting royalty would pop in and ask to be able to teach the kids for an afternoon. The headmaster would feel too intimidated to refuse this permission, so he tells the teacher to step outside. Teacher knopws if he refuses he will become a school secretary and never stand in front of a class of children again. The VIP would then tell the children that 2+2 equals 5, because as we all know, the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. The kids all fail their maths GCSE. The press get a hold of this and so the Teacher, and the Janitor get a kipper in their file for piss poor judgement. VIP is allowed to walk away blameless, Headmaster gets a Knighthood.

At some point the new schools would place a huge contract for new classrooms, based on refurbished wooden cabins that were built for school overflow classrooms in the early 1970s. Baron Waste o'Space would submit a quote for refurbishing them, with a caveat that if the RAF don't take them and use them, they still need to pay for ten years of maintenance from day of delivery.

The RAF send a bunch of teachers to supervise the building refurbishment and lots of the teachers on this project soon leave the RAF to become builders. After some years of making doors, they discover that not all the doorframes are the same size, and the windows let the rain in. Cabins are delivered with bits of paper in the doorframe saying “Door to be fitted here shortly” in place of actual doors. The cabins are fantastic inside, leather seats, state of the art electronic teaching aids and apart from letting the wind and rain in, a joy to work in.

Senior management then decide to abandon the additional classrooms and pay the Baron to destroy the cabins. Most of the teachers who are current at actually teaching children to learn something, along with janitors and dinner ladies, are then made redundant.

Massive numbers of staff would be trained as teachers but then, as they arrive at the OCU for their second stage of training to learn how to teach specific subjects, the admin branch would realise they had no room for any more courses at the OCU and make the newly (almost) trained teachers redundant. The OCUs also ditch people within weeks of completing their specialist training as there are no classrooms for them to teach in.

Most importantly, the upper levels of the teaching staff would all be based in a "Command" building on a site with no classrooms.

Fox3WheresMyBanana

2nd Sep 2011, 10:51

Sadly, all of the above would still be better than the current education system.:(

I speak from experience of both.

p.s. Wyler, one of my school senior staff did actually fail to organise a piss-up in a brewery.

99luftballon

2nd Sep 2011, 13:23

The pupils will have many different uniforms. One will be for classroom work, but will have so many variations that no pupils in the same class will wear the same.

There will be uniforms for field trips, one for winter trips, and one for summer. These will be replaced by a single uniform, but the pupils must keep the old uniforms, as the new multi-purpose uniform will be replaced in a year.

Staff will have similar uniforms to the pupils' classroom dress, but will be adorned with ridiculous belts. Teachers will have overalls to protect themselves from the pupils, but when not teaching (most of the time), will insist on wearing their overalls, so as to display their teaching badges.

engineer(retard)

2nd Sep 2011, 13:57

Wyler couldn't get a bite in a fish farm :E

Roadster280

2nd Sep 2011, 14:26

The school would of course, be a Comprehensive, as opposed to the Army's Grammar Schools and the Navy's Public Schools, as befits the Service's relative position in the grand scheme of things.

All the uniforms would be polyester, with a black tie.

The promotion prospects for the staff are terrible. Some of the staff wear chevrons on their arm, and it's not unusual for them to take until they're 40 to get just two of them. Had they joined a Grammar School, they'd have had those two by the time they were 25. For the ones that wear the stripes on their shoulders, most of them stop at two. Again, the Grammar Schools have their "average Joes" stopping at the equivalent of two AND a little thin one in between.

If the school ran out of a certain colour of exercise book, a UOR would be issued for its replacement at huge cost, and emergency supplies would be procured on Govt credit card. As opposed to simply issuing blue ones instead of the green ones that had been exhausted.

One of the primary metrics of a school is the number of exam passes the pupils obtain. Unfortunately, the school hasn't achieved a single exam pass since World War Two.

The school buses are 40 years old on average, and are incredibly noisy and expensive to maintain. There are two types, the school is the only operator in the world and has been for many years of one of them. The other one is dying a death with other operators, and is likely to be retired by the end of the year. Despite needing a fleet of 40 or more, the RAF has entered into a deal with devil so that they can get a handful of modern 'buses. If not required for school purposes, the buses will be made available to their owner for other purposes. The bus drivers for the new fleet will only be part time, and paid substantially less than drivers of other similar buses.

The school also has a number of vans. These are of two types. One is the older model, they've been thrashed to death, but still do the job. They are literally dying on their feet, there's only a few left of these, but only those models can do certain jobs. The newer ones are still more than 10 years old and have also been thrashed to death. The van drivers have pissing contests on a weekly basis. New larger vans have been ordered, but that was 10 years ago and they still haven't been delivered.

The vans and buses all got moved into the same garage, and it's just been a clusterf*** (see piss up/brewery comment).

Coincidentally, the garage with the vans and buses also houses 6 trucks, which are perfect, but expensive and can only be ordered one at a time.

The Board of Governors are utterly out of their depth when competing with the Grammar Schools and Public Schools for funding. They get outflanked left, right and centre every time. They did manage to get funding for some new logos and a clothing range however. In order to pay for this though, they had to hand over lots of the playing fields and the old van garage to the Grammar Schools, and lose a lot of the sporting equipment (whole fleets) that they used to have on the playing fields.

Nomorefreetime

2nd Sep 2011, 15:07

School day scheduled to start at 08:45, but due to flow clash with school next door,now 09:45.

75% of lessons delayed by more than 1 hour

diginagain

2nd Sep 2011, 15:57

Bells will ring and announcements made at 04:00 advising those pupils due to start class at 08:00 to get up, while those who are not due to start until mid-day are advised that they can go back to sleep.

airpolice

2nd Sep 2011, 16:23

Yeah right, Gweedo.

We all remember the good old days....this is now. Almost none of that good stuff is allowed.

xenolith

2nd Sep 2011, 16:33

It would have to be fairly rigid on the catchment area criteria in order to weed out pupils from the other two services who wanted to enrol.

Funny how it is rare to see it the other way around!

GWEEDO. :D

Roadster280

2nd Sep 2011, 17:05

It would have to be fairly rigid on the catchment area criteria in order to weed out pupils from the other two services who wanted to enrol.

???

That's like bog cleaners having a job protection scheme. By all means...

Ken Scott

2nd Sep 2011, 17:43

It would have to be fairly rigid on the catchment area criteria in order to weed out pupils from the other two services who wanted to enrol.

I believe what he was saying is that many from the grammar & public schools choose to go to the comprehensive because they actually have a much better time, and almost no one leaves the comprehensive because they'd be mad.

The Grammar School

Pupils spend all their time on field trips or acting as security on the school gates. Teachers don't like to leave the Staff Room except to go and ride horses.

Public Schools

Nearly all the classrooms were scrapped on the promise of getting two really big classrooms in ten years although one will probably go to a school in India.
They only have a few minibuses to play with, they had a few security trucks they borrowed off the Comprehensives but they had to hand them back.

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 19:20

Gweedo,

Love the sentiment but that sort of thing would only ever work with grown adult volunteers, the first pie munching wheezy kid you lambasted for not being able to complete the 20 meter shuffle without pulling his pud would have you in the Court of Lard Arse Rights in a feckin heartbeat :}

OldNavigator

2nd Sep 2011, 19:26

ACW418

2nd Sep 2011, 20:12

The whole system would be organised with Super Teachers who devise and revise the syllabus and do checks/audits on the Teachers. Every two years or so the Head Super Teacher would move on and his successor would feel the need to change the syllabus for completely barking reasons. Just as all the Teachers got used to the stupid changes the Head Super Teacher would move on again and the cycle would start again.

ACW

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 21:16

Being an RAF school as opposed to the other 2 options, and despite the obvious leadership issues, would I suppose guarantee that none of the students would ever be bullied or buggered :ok:

Roadster280

2nd Sep 2011, 21:19

Are you sure about that?

Discharged RAF woman was bullied, inquest told (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/apr/25/military.stevenmorris)

The RAF has been recognised by charity Stonewall as a "Top 100" employer for lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain. (http://www.bfbs.com/news/raf/raf-flying-high-top-100-employer-42958.html)

With you on the poor leadership though.

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 21:24

3 minutes, clucking bell that was quick :p:p:p:p:p:p

jamesdevice

2nd Sep 2011, 21:29

if the RAF ran a school, they'd launch a campaign to close the local swimming pools

Roadster280

2nd Sep 2011, 21:41

3 minutes, clucking bell that was quick

Product of a Grammar School education... (in both senses).

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 21:42

if the RAF ran a school, they'd launch a campaign to close the local swimming pools

In suspect they would keep the pools open but would probably be quite vocal about the redundant, out of date and no longer fit for purpose toys etc that the other schools wanted to use :p:p:p:p:p:p

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 21:44

Product of a Grammar School education... (in both senses).

You were bullied AND buggered, blimey :eek: , explains a lot though :E

parabellum

2nd Sep 2011, 21:44

except to go and ride horses.

You forgot skiing!:)

Ken Scott

2nd Sep 2011, 22:21

Roadster280: from a thread of yours a long time ago:

That day cemented my respect for the Royal Air Force.

Not much of that respect evident in your posts on this thread!

Roadster280

2nd Sep 2011, 23:35

Ken, it's banter. I do have respect for the Royal Air Force. A lot, actually.

As someone put it on Arrse the other day after the Reds crash, "crabs are just crabs, but when they get hurt, they're one of us". This after some cretin made a thoughtless comment regarding the crash.

I couldn't agree more. I'm no warry infantry type, I was a bleep. I take **** for that, but it's OK.

Seldomfitforpurpose

2nd Sep 2011, 23:52

Graunch graunch, is that a reverse gear I hear being selected :p

Roadster280

3rd Sep 2011, 00:06

Alright, fair enough, the bog cleaner remark was a bit harsh, but the only people I ever saw wanting to go RAF from the Army were aircrew types. Quite a few came the other way, at least into my Corps, I guess career prospects and posting choices held sway.

That said, tell me my post #18 was off in any way. If anything I went light.

I wish it weren't so, I wish the Navy would still have a "navy". It is what it is though, and to call a pig's ear a silk purse does none of us any favours.

Now go and press your polyester and try not to get it stuck on the iron :)

Ken Scott

3rd Sep 2011, 00:20

Now go and press your polyester and try not to get it stuck on the iron

The great thing about growbags is that they don't require ironing....

NutLoose

3rd Sep 2011, 01:23

if the RAF ran a school

The playground would be staff car parking and children would live in fear of walking on the grass..

Another schools kids would turn up every summer and camp on the playing fields

All the headmasters would be housed in a separate building far from the schools and would visit once a year.

airborne_artist

3rd Sep 2011, 06:43

The great thing about growbags is that they don't require ironing....

... because the wearers' well-covered frame stretches out the creases :}

ShyTorque

3rd Sep 2011, 08:06

You Sir, Name,

Points of order, if you please:

Wednesday off for "sports"
Home by lunchtime on Fridays

I did almost 20 years in said organisation and didn't EVER get a Wednesday afternoon off for sports.

Nor did we knock off early on Fridays.

When we worked a full weekend we got one day off in lieu.
When we were short of aircraft on the OCU our boss came up with a really good idea. He ran two shifts so we could get better use of the aircraft. Of course, after a week or so, we all ended up working both shifts.....
We seldom got our full allocation of leave, either.
Did the boss's career good though, he reached Air Rank.

And folk ask me why I eventually decided enough was enough. :yuk:

You must be confusing it with the Army. :E

Tankertrashnav

3rd Sep 2011, 08:29

Oldnavigator - I also became a teacher, although in my case not straight after leaving the service. You appear to be having better luck than I had in teaching. After four years I decided that I no longer wanted to spend every morning wishing is it was 3.30, every Monday wishing it was Friday and every 1st day of term wishing it was the last. I got out out, went into business on my own, and in spite of the fact I never even earned the modest amount I had been earning as a teacher, I never regretted it for a minute.

Good luck to you, and to anyone on here who thinks teaching is an easy option (apparently short hours, long holidays etc) just try it. I've seen both sides and nothing in my service career was remotely as stressful as teaching.

Seldomfitforpurpose

3rd Sep 2011, 08:31

... because the wearers' well-covered frame stretches out the creases :}

Apart from the Extremely big pockets especially designed for the Aircrew Wallet :p:p:p

goudie

3rd Sep 2011, 09:21

And whatever you do, never be late...all the staff wear bloody big watches!:eek:

Kreuger flap

3rd Sep 2011, 09:21

I also became a teacher, although in my case not straight after leaving the service. You appear to be having better luck than I had in teaching. After four years I decided that I no longer wanted to spend every morning wishing is it was 3.30, every Monday wishing it was Friday and every 1st day of term wishing it was the last. I got out out, went into business on my own, and in spite of the fact I never even earned the modest amount I had been earning as a teacher, I never regretted it for a minute.

Good luck to you, and to anyone on here who thinks teaching is an easy option (apparently short hours, long holidays etc) just try it. I've seen both sides and nothing in my service career was remotely as stressful as teaching.

I think you were forced out by Ofsted due to your appalling English. I take it you taught PE.

LT Selfridge

3rd Sep 2011, 09:23

The Interschool Sports program for the RAF school is compulsory but remains a mystery until it is announced, at short notice, by a foreign university faculty.

The opposing schools do not know when the game is supposed to start or, indeed, how to play the game, and so, when the RAF school team turns up, most of the opposition don't want to play but get dragged out of their classrooms and dorm rooms regardless.

Each fixture continues until the other school's principal is put in a half nelson and/or all the pies are grabbed from the tuckshop.

This process invariably leads to vandalism of the 'host' school's classrooms requiring long term financial support and reconstruction provided by the convening university who also, incidentally, helps provide the bulk of the sporting equipment for both sides.

The sporting timetable continues until each of the other schools resemble the university, is run by an endorsed principal or no longer has a viable tuckshop.

Recently there have been fewer outside supporters for the sporting fixtures with the traditional cheer squad busy watching daytime television and putting bread on the table. So the RAF teams must rely on their old school spirit to carry them through when the stadiums are empty.

Chicken Leg

3rd Sep 2011, 09:48

Just to let people know that you can successfully leave the RAF and transition to teaching successfully.

I spent 22 years in service on C130 and VC10, and I have now spent a couple of years in the classroom.

Service style discipline helps, but you have to get to know the pupils and see what makes them tick. I am sure that my second career will be as enjoyable as my first one.

Service style discipline? You said you were in the RAF?

I think you were forced out by Ofsted due to your appalling English. I take it you taught PE.

Are you serious? An ex Crab teaching PE? I thought the idea that ex servicemen (and ex RAF) make good teachers, was that they draw on their previous experience? Clearly, an ex crab could therefore never teach PE!

Seldomfitforpurpose

3rd Sep 2011, 10:02

Service style discipline? You said you were in the RAF?

Deepcut, now there was service discipline to proud of :=

goudie

3rd Sep 2011, 10:05

At my company's training school we had a former W/cmdr who taught various management techniques. One session involved 'cause and effect' and as an example, how a building could catch fire. He went round the classroom asking for examples of how this could happen and wrote them up on the flip chart. One chap said ''spontaneous combustion'', the next one said 'arson' and so on. He totally ignored the guy who said 'spontaneous combustion'. Spelling was not his best subject but he was a bloody good teacher!

Chicken Leg

3rd Sep 2011, 10:16

Deepcut, now there was service discipline to proud of

Deepcut wasn't an example of the Army's version of service discipline, it was an example of bullying and probably, much worse.

What a bizarre statement!

E L Whisty

3rd Sep 2011, 10:35

No it was not. It was sarcasm. Few people know the difference.

Chicken Leg

3rd Sep 2011, 10:42

My point being, that whether it be a school or a military establishment, bullying in whatever guise is still bullying, it is not therefore discipline.

And yes, I do understand that his point was those delivering the bullying explained it away as discipline, but that would be the case in 99% of bullying cases. So, whether sarcasm or irony, the Deepcut analogy was simply irrelevant.

Seldomfitforpurpose

3rd Sep 2011, 10:50

No it was not. It was sarcasm. Few people know the difference.

No chap, definately irony, not my best attempt I admit as it was rushed but the irony of the Army criticising our style of discipline with their track record just seemed rather pot and kettle to me :ok:

Ken Scott

3rd Sep 2011, 11:37

Service style discipline? You said you were in the RAF?

Actually, yes. I like the RAF style where I tell (or even ask) someone to do something & it gets done. I don't have to shout at him or wash his face with my spittle, abuse him or get him to run around the parade square with his rifle over his head because he didn't jump to it, as fast as I wanted.

The RAF is a place for intelligent grown ups, there are plenty of non-officer graduates, which is probably rather rare in the pongo ranks (I don't particularly like that term but it's a counter to all the crab stuff). I have a relation in the army, in his regiment all the officers are floppy haired English public school boys whilst all the men are boyos from the Welsh valleys. Whilst it works in its own way I wouldn't wish to be a part of such a 19th Century organization.

There are plenty of problems with today's RAF, as there are with all three of HM's forces, but all the 'crab bashing' on this thread (and many other threads), in the name of 'banter' eventually makes me just a little cross. What was a fun post to start with just degenerates into stone throwing by people who reside mostly in homes constructed from glass.

RedhillPhil

3rd Sep 2011, 12:04

I attended Luqa junior school 1958 - 1962. The teachers were all ex military. They were, for the most part sadists. One would delight in punishing you by calling you up to the front at assembly then getting you to bend over whilst he kicked you in the arse. Another's weapon of choice was a table tennis bat administered to your arse in a store room.
Happy days!

Seldomfitforpurpose

3rd Sep 2011, 12:07

administered to your arse in a store room.
Happy days!

Was he ex Navy by any chance :p

tonker

3rd Sep 2011, 12:13

I went to Britain's only state boarding school, the then Gordon Boys School near Bisley. When i left in 85 the Scots Guards were dragooned into knocking our marching etc up to speed for the forthcoming visit by the Queen.

It wasn't until they told us they would rather go back to Aldershot for food and rest, as the school was too cold and miserable that we realised how tough it really was. The cells have since been boarded up!!!

It is now the Gordons School(girls:{), and is currently the best performing school in Surrey. It takes local and forces kids and is traditionally crewed by ex forces folks. It would be fair to say that after 3 years there, everything since has been a breeze.

Gordon's School (http://www.gordons.surrey.sch.uk/)

Wander00

3rd Sep 2011, 12:17

Sounds like my grammar school in Harrow around the same time

lsh

3rd Sep 2011, 12:22

RAF Schools

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the staff, apart from the manual workers, would be trained teachers.

Most of them would go through the RAF teacher training courses at massive expense, teach for one tour and then, just as they become productive, do a tour of three years in a non teaching post, such as pupil admin or management of the teachers who are actually teaching.

There would be cultural exchange visits to other schools and exchange postings to schools in other countries so that some teachers could learn how to teach subjects in other languages, and on returning from this tour, the teacher would do a staff tour in which they would forget all they had learned about teaching, and need a refresher course before being allowed into a classroom again. Every tour of teaching would be followed by a non teaching tour of such delights as media manager or working on recruiting students for the schools.

The vast majority of teachers in a school would not teach. Teachers would train to teach Nautical Studies, despite not having any boats. All classrooms would be equipped with state of the art electronic whiteboards that only the pupils know how to work. This technology drive will consume all of the money to the point where there is no budget left to heat and light the classrooms so some have to be mothballed.

Every now and then, visiting royalty would pop in and ask to be able to teach the kids for an afternoon. The headmaster would feel too intimidated to refuse this permission, so he tells the teacher to step outside. Teacher knopws if he refuses he will become a school secretary and never stand in front of a class of children again. The VIP would then tell the children that 2+2 equals 5, because as we all know, the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. The kids all fail their maths GCSE. The press get a hold of this and so the Teacher, and the Janitor get a kipper in their file for piss poor judgement. VIP is allowed to walk away blameless, Headmaster gets a Knighthood.

At some point the new schools would place a huge contract for new classrooms, based on refurbished wooden cabins that were built for school overflow classrooms in the early 1970s. Baron Waste o'Space would submit a quote for refurbishing them, with a caveat that if the RAF don't take them and use them, they still need to pay for ten years of maintenance from day of delivery.

The RAF send a bunch of teachers to supervise the building refurbishment and lots of the teachers on this project soon leave the RAF to become builders. After some years of making doors, they discover that not all the doorframes are the same size, and the windows let the rain in. Cabins are delivered with bits of paper in the doorframe saying “Door to be fitted here shortly” in place of actual doors. The cabins are fantastic inside, leather seats, state of the art electronic teaching aids and apart from letting the wind and rain in, a joy to work in.

Senior management then decide to abandon the additional classrooms and pay the Baron to destroy the cabins. Most of the teachers who are current at actually teaching children to learn something, along with janitors and dinner ladies, are then made redundant.

Massive numbers of staff would be trained as teachers but then, as they arrive at the OCU for their second stage of training to learn how to teach specific subjects, the admin branch would realise they had no room for any more courses at the OCU and make the newly (almost) trained teachers redundant. The OCUs also ditch people within weeks of completing their specialist training as there are no classrooms for them to teach in.

Most importantly, the upper levels of the teaching staff would all be based in a "Command" building on a site with no classrooms

Funniest thing I have ever read on here!
Sad though.
lsh
:E

L J R

3rd Sep 2011, 12:40

...It would be 'Unmanned'

charliegolf

3rd Sep 2011, 12:49

Another's weapon of choice was a table tennis bat administered to your arse in a store room.

Moral of that story: never leave your arse in a storeroom!

CG:ok:

Backwards PLT

3rd Sep 2011, 12:57

Wise words, Ken.

ShyTorque

3rd Sep 2011, 12:58

Must have been Army.

In the RAF they politely asked you to bend over then shoved the bat up your arse.

In the Navy they lied about the bat....

goudie

3rd Sep 2011, 13:29

In the Navy they lied about the bat....

...and the golden rivet!:eek:

ShyTorque

3rd Sep 2011, 13:33

Painful, was it? ;)

Tankertrashnav

3rd Sep 2011, 14:21

I think you were forced out by Ofsted due to your appalling English. I take it you taught PE.

Kreuger Flap - I'll certainly admit to poor proof reading before posting, all I can say in way of apology is that Mrs TTN was telling me to hurry up and take the dog for a walk before the rain arrived (it's pouring now). I must take issue with your third point though, the comma before "and" has been a subject of academic controversy for as long as I can remember, and I make no apology for belonging to the faction which sees no harm in it.

By the way if you knew me you would realise how laughable the idea of my teaching PE would be! Egyptian PT was my limit in the service and remains so to this day. As it happens I taught French and Russian.

Wrathmonk

3rd Sep 2011, 15:10

tonker

I went to Britain's only state boarding school

Are you sure?

Clicky here (http://www.sbsa.org.uk/find_school.php).

And I know that at least one of them (Wymondham College) is 60 years old.

Wander00

3rd Sep 2011, 15:42

I nearly mentioned Wymondham College too but had not had time to check my facts. I think there were one or two others

Pontius Navigator

3rd Sep 2011, 18:20

all the officers are floppy haired English public school boys whilst all the men are boyos from the Welsh valleys. .

Ah, that would be the Scots Guards then :)

Ken Scott

3rd Sep 2011, 19:53

all the officers are floppy haired English public school boys whilst all the men are boyos from the Welsh valleys.

Ah, that would be the Scots Guards then

PN: would have to be the Welsh Guards, surely?!

Airborne Aircrew

3rd Sep 2011, 21:39

Let the Regiment run it...

At least it'll be approved... :ok:

Karma022202

4th Sep 2011, 00:01

Let the Regiment run it...

Why would we want that bunch of retards in charge? We need somebody with at least one GCSE above grade D.

Airborne Aircrew

4th Sep 2011, 03:08

Karma022202:

I suppose the joke went way over your head then... :E

Pontius Navigator

4th Sep 2011, 08:52

Ken,

Welsh Guards is too obvious.

Seriously, I am doing research and am amazed at the number of ancestors who lived in one county being conscripted in a regiment from a different county.

Anyway Sarcasm and Irony detectors seem to be neutralised by this thread.

bgobs

4th Sep 2011, 10:29

It brings back memories of the old joke.

Whats the difference between the rAF and the Boy Scouts?

The Boy Scouts have adults as leaders.

ShyTorque

4th Sep 2011, 11:06

Welsh Guards is too obvious.

Seriously, I am doing research and am amazed at the number of ancestors who lived in one county being conscripted in a regiment from a different county

Hence the old saying about an army officer with a map being dangerous... ;)

Tankertrashnav

4th Sep 2011, 20:03

Why would we want that bunch of retards in charge? We need somebody with at least one GCSE above grade D.

OK, I'll feed the troll! I must admit as an ex-rock I dont even have a grade D GCSE. Cant speak for AA , who I am sure is well qualified, but for myself will a BA Class 2:1 from a proper university do for you, Karma?

Re guards recruiting, I have found that there are lots of West country blokes in the Coldstream Guards, who I assume must have recruited actively down here

The B Word

4th Sep 2011, 20:39

This place is now called Hill House School

http://www.hillhouse.doncaster.sch.uk/right.jpg

In my day it was RAF Finningley Officers' Mess. I was certainly "educated" by a local lass at one Airshow there!

The B Word

Airborne Aircrew

4th Sep 2011, 20:44

TTN:

The troll is simply misinformed about Rockapes.

Here's a Rock... Link (http://www.abdn.ac.uk/biologicalsci/staff/details/john.baird).

The gentleman himself says the following:-

Thank you very much guys for the comments, quite humbling.

What I would say is that the confidence and attitude the Regiment gave me, helped me in my studies and research, so if I hadn't joined up and met such top blokes, I wouldn't be sitting here.

I would also say that many of the less academic guys I met in the mob, were much brighter than me in many ways. I remember being in awe of some people's ability to assess a stressful situation and make the correct decision, guide me around a training area without need for a map or indeed any number of other things that probably seemed day-to-day stuff, but which are actually very difficult to do well.

Joining the RAF Regiment was the best decision I've ever made.Link (http://www.hqrafregiment.net/viewtopic.php?p=60553#p60553)

For myself... A mere six GCE's, (I hated school... Spent most of my time in class looking out of the window watching the Falcons jumping onto Abingdon when No. 1 PTS was there... :ok:). But having managed large computer systems for 20+ years and being able to run rings around many with Masters Degrees in Computer Science and several years of experience I'm not as impressed by academic qualifications as I used to be. I prefer to meet the person and decide from there...