Travelling to a nudist event

[nudeflyer]

I will shortly be travelling from London to the South of France to take part in a "clothes free" event.

In keeping with my life philosophy, I plan to be naked for as much of the journey as possible.

Should I disrobe before clearing security, or would it be advisable to wait until boarding the aircraft before removing my clothes? I am not sure on BAA's policy on conducting searches of naked passengers.

[Alsacienne]

I don't think you'll even get to your destination if you follow your philosophy in practical terms!

[PAXboy]

As a naturist, who has travelled to many a nude beach holiday ... I can say that I travel in the mental state of my approaching destination but not the physical as the draughts are just too uncomfortable. :p

Welcome aboard nudeflyer, as first posts go - that probably takes the trophy - or the clothes as the case may be ... If you are simply trolling in the wee small hours (I'm working!) then you may find your welcome here to be as warm as you hope the beach will be. :}

[Three Thousand Rule]

Troll (1986) Trailer - YouTube

Start as you mean to go on, travel to the airport naked and then pass security in that condition, you won't have to worry about taking your shoes or belt off.

Just remember to wash before you go.

[John R]

Thanks, nudeflyer. You made me laugh on a cold, rainy summer's morning. :ok:

[nudeflyer]

I see no practical reason why I could not travel naked, and I intend to be a pioneer of this modus operandi.

Of course, I am fully aware of textile sensibilities, but I'm sure my fellow passengers could simply avert their eyes during this short flight.

On a practical note, a small bumbag should suffice to carry my passport, and indeed to cover my "fleshy flagpole" (as Mum used to call it) at the most important moment.

Hopefully you won't be reading about me in the news!

[call100]

Hopefully you won't be reading about me in the news!

Something tells me, we will!!

[Three Thousand Rule]

Pease pudding hot
Pease pudding cold
Troll is on the board and
being very bold

Try this airline Naked-Air - Miami - Cancun - Jamaica (http://www.naked-air.com/menu.htm)

[TightSlot]

See Here (http://www.2knowmyself.com/Attention_seeker_psychology/attention_seeking_behaviour_personality) and then let's all get a life and move on.

[Octopussy2]

Dimly recall from law school days that it's a public order offence; if you tried it in the terminal you'd be carted off by airport police and probably be arrested.

Of course, it would be quite interesting to see how the cabin crew would handle it if you waited until airborne before disrobing... (I am, of course, not encouraging this).:=

(I can't access Tightslot's link; forgive me if i've missed something material as a result).

[Edited to add: this is in fact a response to stewmath's post, which now mysteriously appears below mine].

[stewmath]

I could just imagine someone walking through airport security naked wearing nothing but a bumbag. Just makes me think of some of the stuff the guys do on jackass. (not calling you a jackass by the way. lol just the name of the program).

But on a serious note would the airport even allow you to walk through security naked? Im certain theres going to be set policies or laws on it, maybe clearing it with the airport first might be a good idea.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

he shed his attire in the plane toilets and stepped out into the cabin – presumably to the unbridled delight of other passengers and crew, as he was arrested upon arrival at Edinburgh airport after refusing to resume his togs during the remainder of the flight. Gough was charged with breach of the peace and public indecency and so made yet another appearance in Edinburgh Sheriff Court on 19 May,


Scots Law News, Edinburgh Law School (http://www.law.ed.ac.uk/sln/blogentry.aspx?blogentryref=6912)

[nudeflyer]

I firmly believe it is my right to travel as god made me.

If people can tolerate a screaming scrote of a kid for a couple of hours, I don't see why the sight of my bare body should offend anyone.

It is time for people to get their principles out of the stone age.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

You might believe it's your right but it's also people's right not to sit next to a naked man or woman if they so wish, on a full aeroplane it's not as if they have a lot of choice where they sit.

You can and will offend somebody, somewhere and you will make someone feel uncomfortable. Are you that selfish for the sake of a few hours?

However, the bottom line is you won't be allowed to travel in the buff.

[nudeflyer]

but it's also people's right not to sit next to a naked man or woman if they so wish

And can I choose not to sit next to an obese heffer who takes up half my seat? Or a person with bad body odour?

[dazdaz1]

Have you considered the consequences, if the a/c is full of shell suite chavs well boozed up? Or you start to get a little stiffy on when an attractive cc member (no joke) walks past? And if your 'straight' how would you feel sitting next to a gay male passenger who takes great interest in you, bet you'll be too up tight to have a doze/40 winks.:E

[muggins]

The 'naked rambler' is back in the news today BBC News - 'Naked rambler' Steven Gough jailed again (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-14649394)

[TightSlot]

If you ignore him, he will go away.

Really, he will

[Three Thousand Rule]

Nudist traveller, stone age clothing was mainly made form animal skins and bits of bone to fasten it together, so what are you saying about stone age principles?

How many people have you seen wearing animal skins on flights recently (no tailored varieties allowed.)

Apart from zulus and mess with them at your own peril as you might find out why an iklwa is called an iklwa.

[Crazy Voyager]

I wonder, if you travel nude, do you still have to submit to the new "body-scanners" at some major airports? The ones people say show you nude to the security officers

[parabellum]

nudeflyer - please take your own seat cushion with you, or at least a cover for one, I don't want your seat after you have sat on it in the 'buff' for a couple of hours:yuk:


(Good troll by the way, you have been here before under a different name, but suggesting something equally ridiculous, turned into quite an amusing thread).


Countdown to Jet Blast, 10...........9.............

[deltahotel]

Then may I suggest you travel as God made you, but don't be entirely surprised if the police/security ask you politely to follow them into their office.

[airsmiles]

Okay, Nudeflyer, so when and where is this great event taking place? If you're standing by your prinicples I assume you won't mind telling us.

[Nicholas49]

My guess would be Bergerac. Watch out fellow passengers on flights FR854 / FR8592!

[Octopussy2]

Awwww, Tightslot we're having fun! Don't be grumpy with us...

[WillDAQ]

Someone has done the legwork: Woman in strop strip for Bermuda airport customs ? The Register (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/25/bermuda_customs/)

Seems after customs is the key.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

And can I choose not to sit next to an obese heffer who takes up half my seat? Or a person with bad body odour?

No. Although the fatty didn't intentionally put on fifty pounds just for a flight to France and the stinky one probably can't help it.

You however, can remain clothed.

[Gibon2]

OK, nudeflyer, cut the crap - we're calling your bluff (buff?). We want dates, times and flight numbers. Otherwise, sounds like a load of :mad: to me.

[Skipness One Echo]

Nudists...lots of them on naked bike ride across London earlier this year, however astonished at the number of folks that HIRED a Boris Bike and didn't use a towel to sit on.

That was an eye opener, slightly creepy that
1) Most were not attractive and my eyes bled for days afterwards
2) Some had very young kids wearing next to nothing along with them....felt seedy, that did.

Hence not really thinking an aluminium tube miles in the sky is the best place for something provocative like nudity with kids around.

[Dont Hang Up]

Of course the bum bag would need to go through the x-ray at security. Presumably they will let you hang onto your passport or boarding pass. Would they be big enough if you don't mind me asking?
:O

[scotbill]

In the unlikely event of being allowed to board the (air-conditioned) aircraft - be prepared for comments from the cabin crew along the lines of "Oh I didn't realise they came that small."

[Dont Hang Up]

...be prepared for comments from the cabin crew...


Of course you can be reasonably sure that, if you got that far, CC would treat the matter with a certain sense of humour (although probably a cruel rather than a sympathetic one).

Airport security, on the other hand, would be likely to suffer complete sense of humour failure. Then again "failure" implies something that was serviceable to begin with so let's skim over that one.

[nudeflyer]

Presumably they will let you hang onto your passport or boarding pass. Would they be big enough if you don't mind me asking?

I feel it would be OK to allow my manhood to hang free for the purposes of security. At least it cannot be said I am hiding any contraband.

In terms of cleanliness, I intend to bring my own "nude sheet" which I shall be draping over my seat.

[PAXboy]

nudefyer - you are probably the finest Troll we have seen here for many moons.

SOE I know it can seem strange that people of all shapes and sizes are happy to take their clothes off, and do so when possible, but it's called life. The great thing about naturism is that we all accept each other for how we are without criticism.

I realise that it can seem strange that children and young people can be happy to be naturist - but it happens like that all over the world. It helps them to not be concerned about their body image as dictated by the media.

[Three Thousand Rule]

Nudeflyer

If you annoy the cabin crew, they may apply the plasticuffs in a way that could cause your eyes to water :E

[nudeflyer]

PAXboy has hit the nail on the head.

If I wish to travel naked, I will do so. There is nothing even remotely seedy about the mere absence of clothes, whatever company you keep.

The only "problems" are the ones that the prudish Joe public creates for itself.

[OFSO]

I'm rether perplexed. Do you think MoLwill charge a supplement to passengers who wish to fly nude, or will he in future charge extra for carrying clothes (on passengers bodies) ?

[Lord Spandex Masher]

If I wish to travel naked, I will do so.

On an aircraft I'm afraid you won't. If you choose to bare all after takeoff you will be met by the authorities.

Not my opinion, just a fact.

[Three Thousand Rule]

Maybe Nudeflyer could commission a lycra suit printed with the image of his body as seen through a whole body scanner?

Surely if it is okay to expect people to let the security peeps seem them like that, there is no problem?

Then he could travel nude, but not travel nude.

Lod Spandex masher, for someone with your h ndle, you are not exactly getting into the spirit of this thread.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

TTR, you wouldn't want to see me in spandex:}

[nudeflyer]

Would anyone be kind enough to explain to me the reason behind these bigoted textile reponses?

I simply wish to pay my fare like any other passenger, and travel in a way which will make me far more comfortable.

Whether or not my "toddle and two" is on display is irrelevant. I am a paying customer like any other.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

I simply wish to pay my fare like any other passenger, and travel in a way which will make me far more comfortable.

What you don't seem to care about is that you will be making potentially two hundred odd people uncomfortable.

To me that is selfish.

[nudeflyer]

And getting on a plane where I may take up two seats would not be selfish?

What about taking a screaming baby on board? Is that not selfish?

[Lord Spandex Masher]

If you take up two seats you pay for two. So, no.

Sometimes it is necessary for parents to avoid leaving their babies at home on their own. I'm sure you understand the reasons why. I am also sure that they don't make their babies scream intentionally. So, no.

Is it really necessary for you to fly for a couple of hours without clothes on? No, it isn't.

You intentionally want to make people feel uncomfortable, despite being aware of their sensibilities, just because you can, no other reason. Instead you could travel like everyone else to your nudist event where you can then parade around proudly, wearing as little as you like, for as long as you like.

Compromise or don't travel.

[Three Thousand Rule]

Would anyone be kind enough to explain to me the reason behind these bigoted textile reponses?

Yeah, we know what trolls want :E

[PAXboy]

nudeflyer, you are doing very well but although PAXboy has hit the nail on the head.is meant as a compliment, you must realise that I have not supported you in the idea you are trying to promote.

We all know it won't happen and I, as a life-long naturist (I can prove that because I was born naked) would never dream of doing what you are saying is your intention.

[ChrisJ800]

Dont go BA au naturel as I heard someone recently sued them for catching headlice on an international flight. And dont sit at an exit row, too many draughts. :)

[Three Thousand Rule]

Have you considered body painting, Nudeflyer?

You could be true to your principles, but pull the wool over the eyes of those pesky textile nazis, known as the police and airport security.

Then, if you wish to be a Nudemartyr, you could take a bar of imperial leather and wash it off in the lav :}

[GroundedSLF]

Nudeflyer - you keep mentioning "screaming kids" in a negative way...

Have you concidered that the sight of you nude might induce more screaming from any kids onboard?

[WillDAQ]

Would anyone be kind enough to explain to me the reason behind these bigoted textile reponses?

I simply wish to pay my fare like any other passenger, and travel in a way which will make me far more comfortable.

Whether or not my "toddle and two" is on display is irrelevant. I am a paying customer like any other.

Try:
- Walking down the high street
- Getting on a bus
- Turning up to work

or any other number of activities nude and see what happens.

Why would you expect it to be any different on an aircraft?

[nudeflyer]

Why would you expect it to be any different on an aircraft?

Because I have paid for transportation, and I expect my needs to be catered for, the same as a disabled or elderly passenger might expect special treatment.

[Three Thousand Rule]

Because I have paid for transportation, and I expect my needs to be catered for, the same as a disabled or elderly passenger might expect special treatment.

Do your special needs include dealing with dribbling?

[Three Thousand Rule]

Nudeflyer Dont bother you wont even get past check in! Check in staff can if needed request that a passenger dress's in a respectable manor if you refuse you wont be going any where!

To achieve such illiteracy, in such a short number of words :D

[lukeylad]

Nudeflyer Dont bother you wont even get past check in! Check in staff can if needed request that a passenger dress's in a respectable manor if you refuse you wont be going any where!

[Earlyriser]

His spelling may be bad, but he makes a valid point!

[goudie]

I expect my needs to be catered for,

Would that include the 'Mile High Club'?

[Three Thousand Rule]

His point is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx , as the OP won't get anywhere near checkin, but please try to get into the spirit of the thread.

You've been trolled - YouTube

[nudeflyer]

Would that include the 'Mile High Club'?

Where does sex come into it?

[goudie]

Where does sex come into it?


Who said anything about
sex? However if it does,
at least you'll be suitably
dressed for it.:ok:

[Bealzebub]

nudeflyer,

Rather than displaying what you have "down under" you might want to consider travelling "down under," where you might find a more favourable response. Maybe even an enlightened airline, where the Chief Executive Officer (masquerading as a baggage handler) joins in with the theme.

(a very good airline it is as well!)

elD38pJX7iE

[OFSO]

Woman in strop strip for Bermuda airport customs


A 36-year-old woman faced with a customs search at Bermuda's LF Wade International Airport rather brilliantly responded by instantly shedding her clothes (http://www.royalgazette.com/article/20110823/NEWS03/708239997) and telling officers: “If you want to see me naked, you can do it right :mad: here.”

Loukai Phillips, a Bermudian native now living abroad, had just flown in from London on 19 August to close her bank account, but had to schedule in an appearance before magistrates on a "indecent exposure in a public place" rap following her protest strip.


Her lawyer, Charles Richardson, explained to the court that because of an unspecified "past association", his client had been strip-searched every time she faced customs operatives.

He admitted it was "an impetuous decision", but said Phillips "took her clothes off out of frustration".
Phillips told airport cops: "I would never do it again, I'm just tired of being searched."
Prosecutors demanded a fine as punishment for the outrage, since "children had been present and Phillips had repeatedly used bad language while removing her clothes".
Magistrates, however, simply slapped her with a 12-month conditional discharge, noting: "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs." ®

[11Fan]

Countdown to Jet Blast, 10...........9.............

I beg your pardon. :=

We have standards you know.

[Mr Optimistic]

How did I miss this thread. Read through it all. Is Nutflyer male or female, couldn't see where this essential piece of information had been divulged.

[Bealzebub]

Oh, I think there are clues if you look hard enough! ;)
cover my "fleshy flagpole" (as Mum used to call it)
I feel it would be OK to allow my manhood to hang free for the purposes of security.
Whether or not my "toddle and two" is on display is irrelevant.

[Mr Optimistic]

Oh dear lord.

[Di_Vosh]

Nudeflyer don't listen to these guys.

Most Pomgolians don't like nuding up because most of them think that soap is a type of opera and that a shower is when it rains a little bit! :} :} :}

Get on the internet, google "how to have a shower" and follow the instructions. Then your bod will be nicely scrubbed and fresh for your trip :ok:

I'd suggest that you don't disrobe at check-in. As pointed out by other (more experienced) travellers here, check-in girls/guys can get "a bit funny" when you take your clothes off (I don't know why either :confused:)

Take your clothes off just before going through security. That way you can put them into your daypack and you should pass through the scanner first time! From what I understand the security guards at most English airports are very open minded and flexible with the "rules" when screening passengers going through their screening points. You might be bending the rules a bit but they'll just wave you through! :ok: :ok: :ok: :ok:

And if there's any problem, just say "No, it's okay. I was told the correct procedure on an anonymous internet forum". :cool: :cool:

[crewmeal]

OK my turn now. Nudeflyer if you're seated next to the window and wish to get up and go to the loo. Will the pax in B & C be able to see what you've had for breakfast or worse see 2 peanuts and a liquorice torpedo?

[nudeflyer]

Based on the various practical points raised here, I'm beginning to think about investing in a posing pouch, just to keep stevey saveloy out of harm's way during "abnormal manoeuvres".

I could still, of course, remove said article while seated.

[WillDAQ]

I expect my needs to be catered for, the same as a disabled or elderly passenger might expect special treatment.Perhaps if you had the same protections in law as those two groups you could. But you don't, so you can't.

You are of course welcome to found an airline specifically for Naturists (Perv-Air?) but I can't see it being a financial success.

I'm beginning to think about investing in a posing pouch
Enjoy prison.

[Three Thousand Rule]

Nudeflyer

Maybe a jock strap would give more control? You would also have the option of adding a cricket protector, in case some outraged textile decides to kick you 'in the groin.'

[OFSO]

As we begin to consider replacing full nudity with minimialist clothing - posing pouch, jock strap - one wonders what is the least clothing (in terms of surface area of the body covered) which would allow one to travel without problems from the authorities or airline. On certain airlines heading south, one has occasionally seen ladies who from their attire seem to assume that they are going to be on the beach five minutes after touchdown....(or in bed, perhaps).

[Three Thousand Rule]

On Iran Air, I believe it is a bin bag and a balaclava.

[stuckgear]

Nudists...lots of them on naked bike ride across London earlier this year, however astonished at the number of folks that HIRED a Boris Bike and didn't use a towel to sit on.

That was an eye opener,


http://www5.cockytalk.com/images/smilies/ROTFL.gif

[Mr Optimistic]

and a tear jerker

[Tim00]

There wasn't a dry seat in the house.

[nudeflyer]

Well I have now formulated my "au naturel" travel plan.

I shall remain clothed during check-in, to avoid the inevitable "interest" from airport security.

However, once airborne, I shall disrobe in the toilets, and return to my seat.

To avoid unwitting brushing my chubby chipolata over my fellow passengers when I get up, I shall procure a posing pouch, perhaps in the colour of the airline concerned.

This is about demonstrating that naturists the world over have nothing to fear from practising their favoured activity in a much wider variety of situations.

[Lord Spandex Masher]

However, once airborne, I shall disrobe in the toilets, and return to my seat.

When the cabin crew, under the captains authority, ask you to put your clothes back on, which they will, what are you going to do then? I will tell you that ignoring or not following lawful commands of the crew and captain is illegal and dangerous and you will be in contravention of the Air Navigation Order.

This is about demonstrating that naturists the world over have nothing to fear from practising their favoured activity in a much wider variety of situations.

Except that you are demonstrating your fear by remaining clothed during the check in process. You're compromising your philosophy old son.

Do you really think that you will be somehow 'protected' once you are airborne?

Be prepared to either return to your point of departure and be met by the police or be prepared to arrive at your destination and be met by the police.

[Nicholas49]

nudeflyer: you had better not be on my flight tomorrow. If you are, you won't be contending only with the cabin crew.

Just in case you really are serious, you might want to investigate who foots the bill for a diversion caused by a passenger before you execute your plan. Hope you've got some money behind you...

[Abusing_the_sky]

Nudeflyer, you do come across as "not functioning at the upper level".
Listen to what these folks on here tell you; it is NOT ok to do any of the things you described. Wanna go all "naturist", go hug a tree before you get to the airport.
And for God's sake, keep your clothes ON! Not only the cabin crew will not be impressed and as Nicholas49 suggests, the a/c will most likely divert to the nearest airport to have your naked a$$ arrested and you WILL pay for the diversion costs, but think, for one second, that you are not the only pax in that cabin. There will be, let's say, 200 more pax traveling and amongst them, young children. Just think about it...

If not, I'm looking forward to read about your "naturist experience" in a ridiculous "newspaper" (as ridiculous as your "idea"), such as The Sun or whatever they call it.

I swear to God the world is going to hell... :ugh:


PS: people like you should be forced to take an IQ test before even approaching an airport (or a train station, or a bus station... or any public place for that matter)

[Three Thousand Rule]

You've been trolled - YouTube

[wee one]

Im more concerned his mother refered to his knob as a "fleshy flagpole".
Call me old fashioned but mothers should not be looking at fleshy bits that are in a state of "flagpole". Or more worryingly being anywhere near a sons "flagpole". I think social services should be informed.:eek::ok:

[Three Thousand Rule]

Ah, but it could explain a lot, wee one; maybe you are on to something.

[surely not]

When I read his comments he seems to have the syntax of Julian Clary!!

Should be fun if there is an emergency and he has to use the slides......

and I purposely didn't say ' emergency evacuation' as that could open up a whole different topic ;)

[nudeflyer]

PS: people like you should be forced to take an IQ test before even approaching an airport

Would you say the same to an Asian? A black person?

What gives you the right to discriminate against me on the basis of my clothes-free beliefs?

[GroundedSLF]

I would say the same to a person of any colour/creed/religion - if you seriously think that you should be able to travel naked - then you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

[WillDAQ]

What gives you the right to discriminate against me on the basis of my clothes-free beliefs?

The law, actually.

[Evanelpus]

Quote:
PS: people like you should be forced to take an IQ test before even approaching an airport
Would you say the same to an Asian? A black person?

What gives you the right to discriminate against me on the basis of my clothes-free beliefs?


Would we say it? Who knows but you are obviously an attention seeker searching for some kind of reaction.

Why don't you just do it and save debating until after you have done the deed?

Once you have done it you have have a mass debate about it!

[nudeflyer]

The law, actually.

Which law?

Indecent exposure only applies if the person "exposing" themself did so to cause offence.

Simply being naked is not an offence in itself.

[Bealzebub]

I think the clue is in the first line of the first post.
I will shortly be travelling from London to the South of France to take part in a "clothes free" event.
The "event" by definition being something that happens at a specific venue, occaision or point in time. Outside of the "event" it doesn't follow that the behaviour, dress (or lack of it) would be acceptable or lawful. For example you might be travelling to a clinic in the South of France (or elsewhere) for the purpose of satisfying your "life philosphy" of being a sperm doner. However it really wouldn't follow that you could indulge that passion, in public, whilst travelling en-route!

As steeplechases go, nudity is one fraught with many obstacles, entaglement likely to cause much embarrasment, pain and distress, and therefore best avoided.

Cloaks are useful for preserving modesty, and the cloak of an anonymous username on a forum such as this, is clearly one that even an established "member" can acquire to protect their perceived dignity and reputation. As steeplechases go, I think this particular horse has run it's course.

Good luck with your trip, and be sure to let us know how go got on (or didn't as the case may be.) Be Nice, and keep those body parts that would otherwise be Toulouse safely encumbered. Remember that the "fleshy flagpole" that Marsailles under, Cannes cause embarassment to others, and a flight of less than 2 hours isn't Toulon to keep yourself properly robed. I wouldn't want you to end up as a perpignan..der police cells. ;)

[WillDAQ]

Which law?

No law, your point was that you weren't allowed to be discriminated against based on you desire to be a flasher, in the same way that people aren't allowed to be discriminated against based on race or disability.

In fact, while there are laws to prevent racial and disability discrimination there are no laws to prevent descrimination against perverted old men (see what I did there?).

Indecent exposure only applies if the person "exposing" themself did so to cause offence.And yet the threshold for indecency is very low, essentially a single person on the aircraft would have to object for it to become indecent exposure. If you don't cover up immediately when this is brought to your attention then, to refer to my earlier statement, Enjoy Prison.

Now if you were a proper naturist, rather than a rubbish troll, you'd know this.

[Octopussy2]

Yeah, but Beazelbub I don't reckon there's any way he's gonna get his exposed Carcassonne the plane in the first place...

[OFSO]

...and certainly not with his Gap showing.......

[Shack37]

A queue of fellow pax lining up to take photos might discourage......or maybe not..:confused:

[nudeflyer]

Well, here goes...

[Octopussy2]

But Nudie how are you going to update us on how it went?? I'm assuming prisons in the South of France don't have internet access for their, er, guests.

[Firestorm]

Nudeflyer: you seem quite certain of your rights and your opinion on this matter so I am a bit confused as to why you are even asking our opinions, unless you are a stirrer or troll as the internet chaps would call you. But if you are so certain of your right to wander around in the all together why are you concerned about when to disrobe? Why not put your money where your mouth is, and leave home in your birthday suit, take the bus tot he tube, and hop of at the appropriate stop at Hatton Cross or the terminal of your airline's choice? If you haven't worked out the etiquette by then you might just get away with it! I know that LHR security use rubber gloves, but I wouldn't bet my salary on the French being quite so accommodating! You'll probably get a prod in the rump with a fresh baton form the patisserie, and rude but firm invitation to return yourself across La Manche! Whatever you do, put a digital compact in your bum bag, and send us some photos (waist up please), or shall we just keep an eye on The Current Bun for naked air traveller stories? Happy holiday you complete fruit cake!

[Ancient Observer]

Troll, troll, troll, troll.

[PAXboy]

The single most successful Troll that I've seen in here. What does that say about Prooners? :confused:

[call100]

I don't understand all the fuss.....It's not like it's never been done before.
Naked-Air (http://www.naked-air.com/)
:E

[Wannabe Flyer]

Well from Naked Air some excerpts that should answer this trolls questions

Once the media departed, remaining passengers boarded and the flight departed the gate on time at 1 PM, with everyone fully clothed.

Extra space was allowed so each couple had an empty seat between them to avoid crowding on the Boeing 737.

Once the captain announced landing procedures for Cancun, the clothes came back on and all buckled up again. The path of flight was clear over the Gulf of Mexico from Miami to Cancun with smooth air all the way.

So in a nutshell you cannot force your privates on those who are not willing participants. In this case the people at the airport and in your aircraft. So wait a while before you get to the resort and feel the sand between your cheeks and the wind on your flag!

[Bigscotdaddy]

It's all very well for you to indulge your preference, but have some sympathy for the next pax to occupy that seat and having to deal with potential 'skid marks'!!

[OFSO]

Potential skid marks I can deal with, it's the real ones that would make me sit elsewhere !

Back to JB...........

[Shack37]

Maybe those little flies, big bites could act as a deterrent..:\

[Slasher]

Nudeflyer you've admitted you're a bloke - please be properly
attired if you ever travel on my aircraft, or I'll have yer pecker
duly chained to the galley oven with the setting on HIGH.

However of your wife and/or GF has a nice rack and to-die-for
bum I'll permit them to wander around the cabin unhindered.
Jump seat travel can be organised if there's any complaint or
stink about it by the Purser or pax. :E

[TightSlot]

And from the lofty heights of narrative joy expressed so eloquently in the last post it is clear that this thread has finally scaled the mountain of eloquence to reach the nirvana peak of literary perfection.

With nowhere left to climb to, it seems reasonable that we should close the thread, and allow it to live in our collective memories for ever.