Funny Exchange over the Airwaves

[Hot High Heavy]

Despite being a little grumpy today at having to work on a nice public holiday whilst all my mates were nursing a hangover and a few more tinnies, I did crack a laugh over a funny exchange i heard over Darwin Tower this morning.

A chopper was requesting some circuit work and seemed extremely vague and confused to say the least. Lots of repeated requests from tower for read backs and re-read instructions etc and a heap of non standard calls etc. The guy had that real bush drawl going on.

Anyways on coming back onto the frequency i heard old mate in the chopper being given a departure clearance to Kunnas and not being read back again. 3 mins later, Tower come back on with "Kunnunurra is to the South West sir and you are currently tracking South East". A sheepish reply followed. Had to have a good chuckle. 10 points to the girl on tower too for her patience!

Were a serious bunch most of the time so it does liven the day up to hear things out of the ordinary! :eek: Anybody else heard some funny stuff around the lately?

[Xcel]

yesterday:

Tower: xxx request max speed to the field

xxx: standby just engaging the hyperdrive

[Ixixly]

Aircraft: Tower we're picking up a paint on the screen about 3nm out with no altitude reported
Tower: Ahh yeah, that'd be the US Navy Destroyer..
Aircraft: But it has its transponder on??
Tower: Yeah, apparently it'll be on the entire time
Aircraft: That'd be right....

Yesterday also at Darwin :D

[Macchi 408]

Just the other day at Moorabbin I heard a Warrior with 2 POB ready for departure at 17L for Mangalore I think, and when Tower told him to hold short he had to clarify what "hold short" meant! I couldn't believe my ears.

[osmosis]

Years ago a certain flight line had two aircraft with sequential rego, lets call them BBA and BBB. A new PPL holder lodged a flt pln for a xcountry under BBA, took off in BBA and proceeded to make all calls quite normally and correctly; but as BBB. Tower probably recognised this was happening but didn't quite know how to acknowledge the calling a/c, BBA by the flight plan or BBB as it was being broadcast. In the end they had to ask,

"BBA, are you BBA or are you BBB?" No answer was the stern reply.

[ForkTailedDrKiller]

ATC: XXX, turn right heading 250
Me: Do you really want me to turn right into the side of that hill?
ATC (different voice): XXX, correction, turn left heading 110

Dr :8

[Artificial Horizon]

I remember a good few years ago a Delta Airlines was behind a Jersey European Shorts 360 at the holding point in Manchester when you heard the following in a strong american drawl.

" I say boy, you build that thing yourself"

Had me laughing for a good few minutes.

[ThePaperBoy]

FTDK,

Didn't happen in Townsville airspace by any chance?

[ForkTailedDrKiller]

FTDK, Didn't happen in Townsville airspace by any chance?

Now why would you think that? :E

Many, many years ago a mate of mine was taxying a C172 for TO at the old Brisbane airport, when he found himself passing in front of a B727 at a holding point.

When he gave the 727 crew a friendly thumbs-up, a voice came over the radio, "I'll suck you right in, son " !

Dr :8

[MakeItHappenCaptain]

747 passes in front of a C5 Galaxy;

747:"What're you grossing today?"

C5:"About 100 tons more than you. What're you grossing?"

747:"About 100 grand a year more than you."

[Wally Mk2]

'makeithappencaptain'............that's gold !!!:D

Quite often the great guys/gals in EN twr would say to me when comin' into land "yr No 1"..............often I would say upon hearing that......."that's what My mum used to say":ok:They soon knew who it was behind the Mic:)

Miss you guys/gals in the twr, 125.1 & 121.5, some got that mucked up real good! Just wanna say tnxs for all yr help over the years flying in & out of EN:D



Wmk2

[nomorecatering]

A couple of weeks ak after departing EN on a CTA departure in an arrow, solid cloudbase at 4500, we were maintaining 3500, planned 6500

ATC XXX climb to 6500

Student : (in his loudest most commanding voice he could muster) Negative negative, we cannot climb to 6500, we must remain at 3500.

ATC: Oh righto then , maintain 3500

Me: Er sorry bout that, I was teaching him to be assertive, but.....not that assertive.

ATC: Dunno what he said next, he was laughing too hard to be understood

[Lancair70]

Departing a regional CTAF on VFR flight into CTA, called CTR and gave departure report as usual, CTR came back " XXX squawk code 3361, clearance entre CTA on track dct XXXX climb FL140, only radar observed traffic in the area is 3.5nm south XXXX heading 180 passing 3500', intentions unknown, oh wait, . . . . thats you, . . . disregard traffic."
Laughter then heard from unknown station.

[zac21]

Yeh' Wally,, I'll second that,,, EN TWR guys are the best, like the ML centre crews stuck on their 'screens' too.:ok:

[lilflyboy262]

Twr: Keep it tight, ATR on 5 mile right base
XXX: Tight as a nun ma'am

Twr: Traffice for you, 172 heading south along the coast, maintaining 1500'
XXX: Roger the traffic
Traffic: Rather you didn't

[schweizer2]

at JT (grob, china southern student)

ATC; xxx follow the traffic turning downwind
xxx; is that the one to my 1 or the one at my 12 high
ATC: have a guess, 12 high is a qantas 747

had me laughing for a while

[Chief galah]

Wally you never did come and visit.

Nobody could be ready at the 17 holding point faster than you. I often wondered how you spent the time on the way to the other holding points.

All the best, looks like that era is over

CG

[Lasiorhinus]

Its OK Chief Galah, I never visited Wally, despite promising to. But I did visit you a lot. :ok:

[Wally Mk2]

'Chief Galah' I know I never got there despite threatening too for many years:-) I did visit yr lofty perch back in the days where freedom reigned 1980 :) I guess the consul is still the same?:-)
I might still slip over & come for a visit one day, if I can manage those bloody stairs!:-)
It was always a pet thing of mine to see how fast I could get to the rwy 17 holding point, obviously it was fast if you mentioned it here. I know some of my colleges would take 4ever to get going, times money on those jobs:ok:After 10 yrs & 5000 hrs on the one type it wasn't hard to light the two fires & present ready within a couple of mins:-) What did I do taxiing to the other holding points? Did all the checks I missed on the last flight taxiing to rwy 17 in a few seconds:E:E
Thanks for launching us so fast too CG, trust me some of the Dr's on board thought what was the hold up even when the oil pressure gauges where still thinking about moving:E


................ahhh the good 'ole days...........sob sob sob:sad:

Wmk2

[VH-XXX]

I'm often amazed a how quickly some turbine drivers can get to the holding point. Was once right-hand seat in a 208. He was backtracking by the time I had my headset plugged in!

[Wally Mk2]

..............the quick & the dead (literally at times) xxx:ok:


Wmk2

[mustafagander]

Many moons ago. Early on a Sunday morning.

AAAnnn arriving BNE from the north for 01.

BNE "AAAnnn are you familiar with the Breakfast Creek Hotel?"

AAAnnn "Only from the inside."

BNE "OK, Steer xxx for vectors to final."

For those who remember him, the PNF and Capt was Wags.

[Gundog01]

On the ground at YMEN last year.

GND "XXX hold short rwy 17"

GND "XXX you hav entered RWY 17, take next exit on your right"

XXX "Next right exit" - heavy Asian tone

GND "XXX You have passed the exit take the next exit on your right, that is RWY 26"

XXX "Take next right RWY 26"

GND "XXX you have missed the RWY 26, continue Taxi to the end of the runway and turn right cross all runways and taxi ways, taxi to the school and call your instructor".

Absolutely pissed myself, pitty about the B200 going around RWY35 during all this.

GD

[Jack Ranga]

What did I do taxiing to the other holding points? Did all the checks I missed on the last flight taxiing to rwy 17 in a few seconds

Now that is gold Wal :D :ok:

[Jack Ranga]

I'm often amazed a how quickly some turbine drivers can get to the holding point. Was once right-hand seat in a 208. He was backtracking by the time I had my headset plugged in!

Triple, once you know what you are doing starting and shutting down a turbine, once you understand the metallurgy of of a turbine, they are simpler than a piston to manage engine wise. Leaves you a lot more time to manage the other stuff. In my opinion the most difficult to manage was the Cheiftain (turbo-charging and all that).

Ask any skydive flyer who's done a run in a turbo charged piston and a turbine what's easier to manage? Especially on the descent.

[Wally Mk2]

Yr right 'Jack' turbines especially the PT 6 are a simple beast to operate. As`long as the oil was warm enuf it's go go go:ok:At times my biggest hold up was the Med team getting their seat belts organized prior to launching, full harness can go a lot of strange ways when yr rushed:ok:

'GD01' That's funny to the point where it might have been me having to go-around as there where a few times when the poor guys at EN twr couldn't get a word in (as in cleared to land) whilst an Asian student was blurting out exactly what he had been taught, no lateral thinking what so ever. With this in mind I used to keep one eye on a green light comin' from the guys lofty perch, BAK, always wondered whether that was a waste of study time:ok:

Wmk2

[UnderneathTheRadar]

From my days at Moorabbin - for those who remember 'big bird' (aka warren sparrow) he's still around doing earth angel duties for Angelflight on a regular basis. The second one was only relayed to me so I can't be sure of it's veracity.

XXX: MB tower, XXX ready runway 17L.
MB Tower: XXX wrong frequency this is tower east - contact Moorabbin Tower on 118.1. Oh, and by the way, that's not a taxi-way - that's the perimeter road. You might want to check your prop for dings.

AND

Two students both on first solo - one on final, one approaching then going straight past the holding point onto the runway.

MB Tower: XXX, clear the runway ...(no response)..... XXX, clear the runway....(no response). YYY, go around.

YYY: YYY going around.

YYY continues the approach, XXX still sitting on the runway.

Tower: YYY, go around.
YYY: Going around

.....continues approach, XXX hasn't moved. Tower at this point is ready to push the crash button. YYY apparently lands short, weaves around XXX ('going around') then taxis off the runway and back to the school.

Apparently one of the few times they had to call two different schools over the same incident.

[Cessna 180]

Reminds me of one pleasant summers evening sitting at the Aero Club in Shep doing a bit of study when a Piper Warrior turned up.
A young chap of Asian appearance steps out and as he looked a bit lost I wondered over for a chat.

Was a bit hard to understand him, but he wasn't sure where he was and wanted to know which way Mangalore was and so I just pointed south and said that way. He was mighty keen to get going and so I pointed out that its probably 20 mins away at least and it was not far off dark.

By this stage I thought something was a bit odd and started probing for a bit more info and turned out he was on his first solo to the training area got horribly lost and had been in the air for about 3 hrs.

Managed to pursuade him to stay on the ground despite his protests that he would "be sent back to China" if any one found out.

Had a bit of a look around his plane to try and find a ph number for someone to ring. Was no info in plane but eventually got from him the name of the school and was able to track someone down.

Turned out they had been looking for him, calling on his radio (which he had turned down) and SAR were well and truly searching for him as well.

I felt pretty sorry for this young bloke and couldn't help but wonder if he was a victim of poor training and was not ready for a solo flight or if it was just a major stuff up that could have ended in disaster?

[JustJoinedToSearch]

That one about the 2 first solo students at YMMB is incredible.

Landing short and then weaving around another aircraft near the threshold:ok:
What that student lacks in airmanship/common sense/basic radio telephony they sure make up for in confidence. (I am reading that as touched down short and then weaved around the other aircraft at speed whilst decellerating, if it was landed and stopped short and then taxi'd around and off the runway that's not quite as impressive)

And I know it shouldn't as getting lost to/from the training area is pretty serious but the one about the Mangalore student had me in tears.

[PLovett]

You don't have to be a student to land and overtake another aircraft on a runway. :=

A large group of aircraft flew into Alice Springs one day. They were all members of an owners group. They swamped the poor guy in the tower, especially as several were flying in a loose gaggle with only very basic radio procedure. :uhoh:

However, the icing on the cake was when one aircraft landed (runway 12) and missed the first two exits. The following aircraft proceeded to land (long) and merely drove around the preceding aircraft. The guy in the tower went ballistic and strong words were said. :mad: Didn't help the guy in the tower though who was stood down while an inquiry into the whole mess was held. :sad:

[osmosis]

Rumor has in the not so distant past a certain Darwin based operator departed Alice Springs (in a C210? I can't remember) and not long after departure lost electrics. He elected to continue to Darwin with pax and nothing allegedly working 'cept the fan at the front. Upon approaching Darwin he contacted the tower on his mobile and, as far as I know, landed normally. His Melbourne-based CP was not amused though.

[AussieNick]

UTR: I've heard several variations on that "Go around" story so i'd take it with a grain of salt...


Then again, it is YMMB your talking about, so nothing would surprise me :p

Heard heading down to alice at a lonely 10,000ft, bored outta my skull.

Unknown A/C
"I'm !@#$ing bored"

Centre
"last aircraft to tranmit, state callsign"

A/C
"Sorry mate, I said i'm !@#$ing bored, not !@#$ing stupid"

Also on the return trip got an impromptu helicopter lesson from a nice chap who transmitted the whole 20min lesson in dribs and drabs on BN Centre

[Hot High Heavy]

Another snappy pun in Darwin today (seems to be the week for it!).

XXX was departing via VFR route 2 to Jabiru and talking to Approach;

XXX: Request direct tracking Jabiru given last light considerations.

App: XXX track direct Jabiru. Thanks for advising, we dont like being kept in the dark

Sound of laughter followed from someone

[The Green Goblin]

Heard heading down to alice at a lonely 10,000ft, bored outta my skull.

Unknown A/C
"I'm !@#$ing bored"

Centre
"last aircraft to tranmit, state callsign"

A/C
"Sorry mate, I said i'm !@#$ing bored, not !@#$ing stupid"

I bet you tell stories out of the flight safety mag and pretend it's you too!

Variations of this story have been aviation in folklore since my grandfather flew Spitfires :ok:

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story hey :} I know you used to tell a few tall stories to the duty free girls at DIA. I often wondered if it got you anywhere :}

[AussieNick]

don't read the mags, gotta that one outta a book (hey, i still heard it in my head :})

[The Green Goblin]

Don't worry, I know who you are :cool:

[puff]

Good one on Avweb the other day

ATC - N1234 are you a Cardinal(C177)

Pilot - Negative but I was an alter boy once.

[AussieNick]

thats creepy, you peaking in my window again GG :E

I'll be buggered if I know you though :p

[Hasherucf]

Pilot - Negative but I was an alter boy once.

I'll be buggered if I know you though http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/tongue.gif


That is some bad thread drift :}

[Jack Ranga]

Didn't help the guy in the tower though who was stood down while an inquiry into the whole mess was held.

As an ATC you are guilty until found innocent and even then you are still guilty :cool:

[AussieNick]

That is some bad thread drift http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/badteeth.gif

Well, this thread has stayed on track for too long :)

GG, just read the bottom of that post of yours, most people who know me know I love to tell a few 'tall' stories, oh, and I don't know any of the duty free girls (don't think i do anyways) so i'll let ya down and say, nah, never got me anywhere :}

[Homesick-Angel]

I still cant go past this tho for a bad day at the office..

[slackie]

Homesick... man do I know that feeling!!:mad:

[DK08]

I still cant go past

love this one as well

YouTube - ‪Funny Air China And JFK ATC- Kinetic Typography-AntonyTh‬‏

[By George]

JFk is not easy when English is your first language. "Cleared to the ramp" means you can change to their frequency (leave 'ground') and ask for clearance onto the ramp. No wonder the poor Chinese don't get it.

[John Eacott]

Wally, the days of Ace and the fun from EN Tower: try approaching at night, VFR, when Ace decides to turn out all the airfield lights!

Or the ATIS when it was recorded by a real voice, and with Ace it would always be Information Echo, echo, echo ;)

No doubt there may have been a few here who fly at MB and heard me stuff up my inbound location call to MB Tower last month. They were quite good about it, offered me a free Melway if I wanted to visit the tower after landing :p

[Jack Ranga]

John, it doesn't help when the inbound reporting points don't change with the times! It may have been easy spotting academy and GMH 20-25 years ago when they were surrounded by...........nothing. Now that they are built out and amongst suburbs :ugh:

My favourite inbound, target, Archerfield. A massive target painted on the roof of..............Target.

[puff]

Sure is hard to miss Jack !! I've always wondered who pays for it to be painted !

[Chief galah]

Hey JE

Are you saying you're back in the saddle! 14K hours not enough?

Some rather unkind personnel in the era you refer to would often say..

"the whining didn't stop even when the turbines were shut down":uhoh::rolleyes::ooh::ouch:

CG

[Wally Mk2]

That's okay John you where prolly in a chopper so why worry about minor details like rwy lights:) What ever happened to the Sneeca 3 that you used to operate on behalf of it's owner many moons ago?


Wally M2, soon to be Mk3 I think:E

[Spelunker]

re. the 'Go-around @ Moorabbin story', This never happened at Moorabbin!

I've read this story on every single Aviation Humor website on the net, except it's always told at a different airport, with different aircraft etc. One of those classics that gets constantly recycled.

Funny nonetheless

[HardCorePawn]

Having a holiday in UK... heard this on the radio the other day...

ATC: Alpha Bravo Charlie, Traffic at your 2 o'clock, 1 mile, same level, crossing right to left, believed to be a "pointy jet" inbound to XXXX
ABC: Visual, Alpha Bravo Charlie
ATC: You're too close for missiles, suggest you switch to guns!

:}

[SgtBundy]

Maybe thread drift a little, but I always liked this one. It was from my AIRTC days when we were practising RT on base for field craft with some new UHF hand helds, the two groups only 50m apart:

Alpha: Bravo, Radio check.
Bravo: Alpha, you are weak and unreadable.
Alpha: Bravo, you are fat and unbearable.

Its sort of like the "behind the fokker" one where you pray for the day you get to use it for real :}

[John Eacott]

That's okay John you where prolly in a chopper so why worry about minor details like rwy lights:) What ever happened to the Sneeca 3 that you used to operate on behalf of it's owner many moons ago?


Wally M2, soon to be Mk3 I think:E

Runway lights are never an issue, but the big, dark void with no lights whatsoever was a bit of a giveaway ;) Re the SIII, it was fun doing my PPL in it, especially the examiner who told me I had to be endorsed to use the VOR/DME to divert. Only 40 IR renewals at the time :p It was sold on through a dealer, sadly.

Chief Galah (MP?), never out of the saddle, knocking hard on 15k these days. I'll send an invite to the party :ok:

Back on topic, I was on Tulla Tower when RJ Hawke's VIP Falcon had a rejected takeoff. Report to tower was along the lines of 'aborting, left engine problem'.

To which the tower snappily replied:

"No problems with the Right Wing, then?"

About the time Hawke was having factional party issues with his right wing Labor louts :D

[brisdude]

Oh come on no one in Aus has heard "Line up and hold" followed 30 seconds later by a departure report in a Taiwanese/Indian accent? at Archer?:cool:

[Neptunus Rex]

SgtBundy

I got to do it once, at Kai Tak. Given clearance to "Line up after the landing MD 80" we heard the landing aircraft use his Air Nugini callsign, then saw the F50 turning finals. I was able to transmit:

"Line up after the landing aircraft, but your Douglas is a Fokker!"

[puff]

I didn't hear it myself but apparently a student with a first language other than english advised tower he was crossing the 'Mogan Lotorway' 1500 - sorta close.

[HardCorePawn]

More from the motherland...

Glider: XXX Radar, Operating overhead YYY, just wondering if there is any traffic in the vicinity?
Radar: One contact, unknown type, 2 miles west, slow moving, 3000' unverified...
Glider: Do you know if it's a glider?
Radar: Hang on, I'll just get my crystal ball shall I?... I've got no idea what it is...

:ok:

[Hempy]

Having a holiday in UK... heard this on the radio the other day...

ATC: Alpha Bravo Charlie, Traffic at your 2 o'clock, 1 mile, same level, crossing right to left, believed to be a "pointy jet" inbound to XXXX
ABC: Visual, Alpha Bravo Charlie
ATC: You're too close for missiles, suggest you switch to guns!

Ha! Reminds me of the most cringe worthy exchange I remember..

ATC: ABC, for information, company 737 passing 2000" below, left to right, he's about 2 miles in your 11 o'clock.
ABC: Got tone, got good tone...

[amberale]

It used make my day when working BN APP to offer a pilot the option of being held in the Manly area.:}

AA

[PLovett]

amberale, wasn't there an occasion when a female controller offered that to a BA flight to receive a reply something along the lines of:

"I love it when you talk dirty."

Possibly apocryphal.

[lilflyboy262]

Air Botswana is leasing the F28 off of some South African company.
The fokker quotes get used too often here :(
"Got the big loud fokker in sight"

[Ex FSO GRIFFO]

This link is on a 'par' with at least two memorable exchanges I have heard during the course of 'FSO'-ing.

One was in the Pilbara when a certain pilot was describing the 'desolate, unpopulated' country he was dropping dog baits on in the early 70's, and he couldn't quite identify just the #@&%^*+&%# where he was at the time.....
He had a stuck mike button for 30mins - from one 'sked' to the next......and the exchanges with his crew lasted the whole 30mins...mmm...

On his next call to Hedland, he was very politely told that we new he was 'ops normal' and his approx position......mmm.... 'OH!#@' was the response...

And the other was the pilot to camera operator of a Duke climbing to FL's over Kal. for high level photos.....
and the '#@&*^+_*&% heater wouldn't work.....and his #@$%^ feet were getting *&^%$# frozen....mmm......and he had to come back....mmmm....

These were the most 'interesting'......

Then there's this one

RAW AUDIO: Pilot Tirade (Warning: Language) - Video - KPRC Houston (http://www.click2houston.com/video/28313494/index.html)

:ok:

[Sherrin123]

One I was told went something like this:

Tower (to female pilot): XXXX would you like taxi way x or would you like the full length? (cue background laughter in tower, and probably every a/c on frequency)

Female pilot: XXXX full length please.

Tower: XXXX take the full length. Cleared for t/o

Female pilot complained and controller got suspended for 'unprofessional comments'

[romeocharlie]

Other night in Brissie,

Abc: Ground we've got a delay pushing, they can't find the remote for the tug.
ATC: Have you tried looking behind the cushions?

[Lasiorhinus]

Female pilot complained and controller got suspended for 'unprofessional comments'

Complained about what?? She actually asked for the full length. :ugh::ugh:

[Al Fentanyl]

Recently heard in the vicinity of a Nth Qld CTAF at night:

"Traffic (location) XYZ, 20 DME inbound estimate circuit at two-five" (female voice)
"Click-click-click". (XYZ trying to activate PAL on the CTAF)
No lights came on.
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights

Low-pitched, husky voice male voice from another aircraft: "Ah XYZ, you gotta do it sloooooower babe....."
followed by "Click..........click........click" and the lights coming on.

Female from XYZ "mmmm thanks hon, was it good for you too?":E

[plucka]

When I was flying in NZ I heard a student call up woodbourne for a clearance into the zone on track to Omaka.
Twr: What is your position?
Student: ( with Asian accent ) I am over the Ferry at 2500'
Twr: I will need a better position report than that
Student: I am passing over the funnel nnnnnnnow....

[max1]

These are two real ones from just the last week.

Chinese Heavy calls up on my frequency and is not mine.
"Chinese Heavy, Return to previous frequency"
" Chinese Heavy Roger, could you advise what it was"


Inbound Jet to Sy asks for an appreciation of the weather closer in. Aeropelican ( C/S Pelican ) 50nm North.
Pelican123 gives a report. Jet says " Howabout that a talking Pelican"

Hope the fun police don't find out.

[stopngo]

Heard this from a student the other day...
Centre was trying to identify traffic when a first area solo student no where near the traffic in question piped up..
XXX: YY Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Centre
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Go ahead
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Are you lost?
XXX: No I am not lost XXX
Centre: XXX What is your position?
XXX: Centre XXX I don't know! :rolleyes:

haha & to top it off..Centre: XXX What is your level? XXX: Straight and level:D

[Lasiorhinus]

Sounds like a Grob :E

[going down-under]

Here goes my 10 cents:

Glider: TWR, request crossing CTR
TWR: hold position and altitude
Glider: uhm, we're a glider
TWR: Ah, ok, cleared to cross CTR :sad:

And one for the oldies (surprised no one posted it already)
Not sure if it is authentic, but it's funny to me.

American airliner vacated runway at Frankfurt and holds on taxi way, pilots are looking for their gate.
FRA TWR: xxx, why are you stopping?
xxx: we can't find the gate
FRA TWR (irritated): it's not that difficult is it? Haven't you been here before?
xxx: well, yes I have, some 65 years ago, but I didn't stop here!

Similar typical EU joke:

German airspace, small aircraft starts transmitting in German
ATC: xxx, repeat your request in English
plane: why sjould I speaka Engelish? I am a Djerman in a Djerman plane in Djerman airspace; why sjould I speaka Engelish?
Voice over radio in perfect English: Because you lost the bloody war!

[amberale]

Not on the airwaves but legendry coord by a male approach controller to a female approach controller.

"I'm going to come hard right inside your Shorts" :eek:

Don't know what the reply was.

AA

[Fly_by_wire]

Not sure if already posted: Pissed off JFK controller
YouTube - ‪Iberia - JFK air traffic controller conversation (Stop your plane!)‬‏

[Fly_by_wire]

Also this one was pretty bad. Southwest pilot conversation. warning offensive!
YouTube - ‪WARNING! UNCENSORED! Southwest Airlines Pilot Open Mic Broadcasts To ATC‬‏