Turbine D – At first I was a little concerned at the prospect of a séance, in particular how would the proles relate to their Government being influence by spirits. However, upon considered reflection (and a glance at the glass beside me as I reflected), I determine that it was “situation normal”. So, yes, an excellent idea and, assuming attendance by others can be confirmed, I look forward to communicating with our late departed Consort.
I do believe that all this talk of HD/3D, of which I know nought, will require technical expertise to be available so believe that you, sir, should also be in attendance. To ensure adequate Governmental support all SoS’s, Ministers should be at hand. Maybe in an adjoining room (such room to also be amply supplied with “spirits”). KnC could be a token representative of the Proles (make the proles feel better don’t y’ know).
Under AOB for the séance, I would like to ask Upper Air if he would have any objection to me turning his beloved Shiatsu to my Clumber spaniel.
Ancient Observer – be assured that your inability to take a decision (“Thinks - Loads of money or Principles?) makes you the obvious choice for Foreign Affairs. Consider yourself so appointed, subject to ratification by HRH.

Stuckgear – continuing the EF to South America concerns me. Brazil, yes, handfuls upon handfuls of Boobies and good quality oil for our fleet. However, I would strongly advise that we leave it at that. The rest of SA has got some serious s##t going on, this has produced groups such as “F##K” (sorry, FARC) and those boys know how to kick a##e. Our EF did well in NA but, honestly, ask yourself how the Welly Thumpin force of the 23rd and 59th Puddle Thumpers of the 108th Morris Dancers Sqn would handle themselves (not literally of course) when faced by groups such as FARC. No sir, I fear we should desist from any thoughts of enslave...( sorry, annexation) of SA.

Goudie – If it is acceptable to them, the first formal engagement for your Barbershop Chorus will be at the memorial service to be held for out late Consort. No doubt you will, on their behalf, submit an expense claim for their fee, your commission, etc., etc. This will be a National event with Worldwide coverage, accordingly, I anticipate that such expenses will be considerable.

Slasher PM - any thoughts on handing that Lear Jet over to me (come on, you know you want to). I don't mind if you draw something bigger and faster from "supplies". I just want the Lear Jet, give me the f###ing Lear jet!!! (afer all I'm the one who has to take that dog for "walkies").

The Office of the Prime Minister
Prime Ministerial Department
Ivory Towers
Pruneonia

I must pass on my official condolences to the sad passing of Rt Hon Upper Air, Inner Party powerbroker and Queens Consort, a friend and proven able public servant, and to that end I have commissioned to have his skull washed, skinned, polished and nailed to a wall within Pruneonia Square where all Proles will bow in respect after singing the Anthem every dawn before going off to toil in the fields and factories to make us.... er.... our new country rich.

I was there when poor Upper was taken to the hospital in an ambulance (recently converted from a knackery stall) and paid for all his medicines and operation fees. Alas, he was too sick to make it. Indeed the hospital's organ donor department (Upper's dying wish was to donate his healthy remaining organs to the poorer Proles who labour tirelessly to make our country a success) made a very grateful present to the People of Pruneonia in the form of six cases of Glamis whiskey, two case of Brute and various bottles of XO, all of which I will keep here at the Towers to remind me of the total dignity and respect Upper Air commanded in his last minutes of life.

I will posthumously present the Royal Order of the Boobs to Mr Air's next of kin tomorrow at the memorial service just after a power lunch with Queen OFSO, who will officiate with Prole rep K&C, along with Goudie's Barbershop Chorus who will be providing the moving durges, free haircuts and watered-down beer.

With the Rt Hon Mr Air now sadly gone from our midst, it befalls my duty to inform the Party that the position of Inner Party chief powerbroker goes to Slfsfu with all the perks it entails...
- the Lear Jet,
- the Lear Jet hostess and her lesbian roommate,
- own choice of secretary/girlfriend,
- washroom keys to the Inner Party executive toilets,
- a personal BS2 million boobie prize as a "well done lad!" to Slfsu from my dear brother Masher (who listened to Mr Air's recommendations and obtained Masher the required votes within the Party elite and who is now Minister of Public Works)
- own tea lady
- a private hot line to me here at the Towers and to the Queen's Residence.

It saddens me that certain members of the Outer Party (and you know who you are) are giving credence to media rumours that I ordered Proles to be whipped when daily production quotas are low, and use it as cruel motivater to increase morale and to work harder. NOTHING CAN BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! I am a humble servant of the Proles, just as all you Party Members. Indeed I have been moved to tears that our beloved Proles would even conceive that I would ever enforce such a harsh penalty on them.

At this time of writing I am moved to tears again and will seek succour from some comforting boobies.... http://serve.mysmiley.net/sad/sad0005.gif

Till my next epistle comrades.

You faithful servant,

Slasher
Prime Minister of Pruneonia




Here is my absolute Directive re the Proles -

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT320dOFVjKEm1A4SeR81iihsqMcJfyiuEDoHZ7NLgGvnns8DYSDQ

And any Outer Party Member who leaks ANY of this to the
fcuking press again will be keel-hauled under the Ark Royal
and then fed to my pet dobermans!!

Will we also need a mascot?

Perhaps a Tasmanian Devil should be chosen.

Anyone who suggests a sheep will be given a good thrashing (unless they appear to be enjoying it).

I was thinking the same Vulc.

Maybe a Doberman, an animal that embodies the very fighting
heart and soul of the determined people of Pruneonia, would
be a suitable mascot?

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQruhKQlDNrNZxW8gag7gJJElmkGQ_WqwIou5eJw4ONvy-LVe8sbA

Not that I would ever condone the personal ownership of such
unnecessarily vicious canines in a peaceful prosperous country
such as our own....

Slfsfu

I am indeed honoured to have my Chorus sing at the memorial service for our late Consort. I have chosen two songs which I trust you will find appropriate.
'Banana Boat Song'
'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'
I will submit my expenses in due course, as soon as my carer gets back from a shopping expedition to Paris & New York (she does the accounts you see)...... bless her, she doesn't ask for much.

Back in about 320 BC, Athens was still ruled by Alexander's mates and rogues from Macedonia, after Alexander died. (They also ruled Egypt, Persia and bits of India, aswell as all of Greece).

The Macedonians clearly had an interesting take on Athens, as they appointed an Official

"Inspector of Women"

Now, normally, this would obviously be a job for Slasher, but as Slasher is otherwise occupied, who might be the "Inspector of Women" who has to inspect the women in any territory that we, er, rule??

Slasher

May I suggest a Rottweiler from which the Doberman came?:ok:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Rottweiler_kopf.jpg

To answer your question AO it will be up to Slfsfu to broker that
much saught-after position. Should you be successful, I reserve
the absolute right however in the final decision of approving any
large-buxomed foreign women who you recommend to serve in
the capacity of maids at Ivory Towers.

Turbine maybe, but a Rottweiler just goes for the jugular,
whereas a bunch of crazed Doberman's rip and tear their
victims to pieces... so I've read.

I guess it would be rough justice if the UN tried to enforce a no-fly zone on us.

Just as a gentle aside but remaining with the attack dog theme, there is a large redevelopment project here at work. Lunchtime. White Van. Joiner with shaved head, muscles and tattoos. Bark from inside van. Dobermann? Rottie? Nah, two lamb-cut white miniature poodles. Street cred? What street cred?

Goudie – “.. she doesn't ask for much..” I hate to caste dispersions Goudie but do wonder if she has small expectations in acceptance of the reality of her situation.

I would endorse your selection of music for the memorial service

Slasher PM – Thank you for conveying the official condolences to Her Majesty.

With regard to the donating of Upper Airs body parts, firstly, please be aware that his brain is not suitable for donation, well other than to some lowly pleb (sorry, citizen in desperate need), that f###ing idiot of a medic tells me that it still contains bits of trifle and the broken end of a medical forceps . Secondly, I’m advised that certain appendages may have been subject to excessive usage and are no longer considers “A” condition, indeed so used are they that they may, upon inspection/certification, be classified as “D” condition, Junk. Before you ask, no, I shall not be undertaking the inspection/certification.

I am indeed humbled that you have seen fit to assign to me the position of Inner Party Chief Powerbroker, one does not feel worthy but shall seek to discharge the heavy duty imposed with that degree of diligence and prudence that the Government of Prunonia would expect. I ask only that I be allowed to also retain my existing position as SoS for Statements. With the very able assistance of AlisonCC, Carrier of the Pen and Note-Pad of State, I believe (though other will judge) that we have good “team” with this Ministry.

I’m sure that for militaristic nations the Doberman would make a wonderful mascot. Given that our approach is stealthy growth through “annexation” I wonder whether an Ivy leaf would be more appropriate (subliminal message and all that – plebs and them furriners will never understand the subtlety). )Of course, I leave it to you and Her Majesty Queen OFSO to decide, I am but a humble servant, a mere functionary, who’s only desire is to serve.

Your gracious gift of the Lear Jet (and all appurtenances related thereto) is most welcome. Be assured that I shall tend to its needs and those of the hostesses and lesbians to the very best of my ability. The key to the executive toilet I shall keep chained around my neck as a constant reminder to me of duty that I owe to you, to the State and the acquisition of Boobies (for the national good of course). As to my selection of a secretary, I wish to nominate Alisoncc (she takes shorthand don’t y’ know), but I would also require that she retains her current position as Carrier of the Pen and Note-Pad of State. The incremental cost of this appointment is negligible, because she informs me that she already has a full complement of Boobies.

AO – a most interesting observation (precedents are good) and a vitally important appointment. As you say, Slasher is otherwise occupied. You may consider this novel (no, not “a” novel )but I would propose that Alisoncc be involved in the selection (in her secretary to the power broking thingy).

The Ministry of statements will not be issuing a statement stating the above, it will only confuse the plebs (I mean good citizens) and detract them from the acquisition of Boobies (Government for the use of).


[[Maniacal laughter and sound of organ playing – it’s mine, it’s mine I tell ye, I’VE GOT THE LEAR JET, IT’S ALL MINE !!!!!!!! Hostess and her friends, Boobies galore, there’re mine!!. Just show the hostess and her friends my missile pod and they’ll be over-awed at the power I hold. Truly my humble labours have been rewarded I must strive diligently in support of the Government and our collective acquisition of handfuls of Boobies.

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of ........]]

but do wonder if she has small expectations in acceptance of the reality of her situation.
Yes she does have small expectations Slfsfu so I never disappoint her.......bit of a blessing really!

Slfsu I leave it in your capable hands, speaking of which my grateful bro Masher is waiting to send the agreed sum....er..
generous gift of two million boobies to your offsho... sorry.... the "Fund of Further Education Of Proles" but doesn't have
the SWIFT code.

I guess it would be rough justice if the UN tried to enforce a no-fly zone on us.

As true servants of the people we already have enforced a no-fly zone on Pruneopia - and a no-bloody-mozzie zone too!

no bloody mozzies or nasty wasps either!


Perhaps a No Flea zone also?

I was happy to accept the kind offer to become the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, especially as I get a Lear jet too.
However, while the jet is under order and being stocked up with Puligny Montrachet, I approached BA about my first trip to the USA to get the fragrant Clinton onside.

I was most surprised to find that BA do not accept Boobies, but wanted dollars, euros or possibly pounds. (They really were not very keen on pounds).

Will the Ministry of Finance and Treasury please get on to this straightaway?
thanks
AO

To my Governmental colleagues. As you will appreciate, yesterday was a most traumatic day within my Ministry. Many statements to me made stating various important matters of state. Deep personal and departmental distress combined with the inept medical treatment afforded by that f###ing nutwit of a medic - I never want to hear the words banana, cup cake, custard and sherry in one trifle (sorry, in one sentence) ever again.
Amidst all of this, you will have noticed that a most regrettable event did occur in respect of which you rightly deserve an explanation. After many hours of humble labour I decided to give myself some relief (sorry, relaxation). Having in hand a considerable quantity of Boobies it felt as though they needed to be sorted into appropriate standards (“A”, “B” etc., as previously suggested), most regrettably this gave rise a premature ejac...(sorry, release)of the Statement stating the untimely demise of our dear Consort. With your support and forgiveness, lesson will be learnt but my Ministry will not be issuing a Statement stating that the statement stating the demise of the Consort was issued prematurely.
Minister of Media & Communication, Algernion, what the f##k is going on. I get to the NBC studio and the GTI’s are nowhere to be seen, half-lings muttering about me being late and GTI’s gone to oversee some programme called “We’ve got Boobies”. Gees man, if we’re showing programmes like that next thing we know every pleb, prole and imbecilic half-wit in the land will be clamouring for more Boobies. You must put a stop to it.
As for the live broadcast, Algernon, your neck is on the line, you sir are in serious deep s##t. No desk, no chairs, no lectern even. F###king lot all gone, all nicked. Eventually some flunky put 4 boxes on top of each other (the photo of some mutt was fixed with blue tac to the front) and I issued the statement from behind that (or thought I did, of which more later). During the broadcast that thieving b###rd pulled up the picture of our dear departed and departed with it. Thankfully, if any thanks are due in this glorious f##k up - it turns out that he’d also nicked the TV cameras, so I was talking into a cardboard fake. The only good thing to come out of this shambolic affair was that, in the final analysis, the great unwashed didn’t see the braodcast.
Re- - my invite for you, your wife and girls to visit - you're off the list f##kwit, spend the time doing some serious a##e kicking in your own dept and the NBC, I expect to see GIT's castrated and deprived of all Boobies (though judging by the look of some of them they probablty won't mind). Back to the invite, just sent the wife and girls around - I'll put them in a car and send them back home sometime, not sure when, just depends how many handfuls of Boobies they can put together>

KnC in my capacity as Inner Party Chief Powerbroker, I hereby make my first appointment and confirm you into the position of Thief Finder General. If needs be, I’ll resolve my differences with Upper Air at the séance, but I’m (sorry, we’re) not putting up with these F###ing sons of Fagin anymore. They must be destroyed, destroyed I say, next thing you know they’ll be taking handfuls of Boobies – indeed, Boobies will be taken from OUR hands.
Be aware KnC your duty is to find them, I use my words carefully - find them. Until we are confident that you do not have revolutionary tendencies we'll be watching. You have no power to impose punishment. We’re not having you making false accusations then imposing your own final solution on such persons as Slasher, AO, Goudie (small is beautiful Goudie), Turbine D , et al, or, heaven forefend, Her Royal Majesty. I’m watching you KnC, my wrath knows no bounds and I now have the missile pods fitted to the Lear jet (it’s mine, all mine!!) and I WILL find you.
Slasher – I prefer to keep all Boobies well within my reach. Please tell Masher that I’ll send a car (well a few lorries) around to pick them up. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate, I will personally sort them into the appropriate “Standard” categories. You will be pleased to learn that my skills at this are increasing, all I have to do now is to put one in my hand (or one in each hand) and, almost without fail, I can determine its “cup” ranking. I do, though, find that some Boobies require a little more attention than others but I’m pleased to say that I rise to those occasions.
BEST ‘til Last – Slasher has handed to me the heavy responsibility of appointing the “Inspector or Women”. Though but a humble functionary I shall rise to this task (indeed, I’m sure any man would rise to this task). Accordingly, the position of “Inspector of Women” shall gyrate (sorry, rotate) on a monthly cycle between the PM, SoS’s, Ministers, Chiefs of the Armed Services , Thief Finder General (assuming he doesn’t display revolutionary tendencies) – each such person shall be entitled to nominate two individuals to assist him/her during his/her tenure of office. We shall commence on 1st April with Slasher, PM, holding his piston (sorry, holding the position) thereafter in ministerial order. Sorry KnC, that puts you down to about November 2012.(mutter, mutter, mutter, can that boy be trusted - he'll wear his b##ls around his neck if he crosses me)
In the interest of Sexual equality, Pruneonia being an equal opportunity nation (provided we stay on top (though other positions are of course accepted)). Should she wish to accept, Alisoncc is in addition to her other functions, herby appointed “Inspector of Men”. ((Didn’t see that one coming (so to speak) did you !!
I feel we that must keep Alisoncc on board (in hand, shall we say) don’t want her instigating a revolution and denuding us of our Boobies
[[denuding.... Boobies – shudder, shudder, get a grip man, get a grip I say – no, not of that, what are you, some sort of sexual f##ing retard. Pull yourself together man, you're a SoS and have a Lear jet, with a hostess, her two friends and loads of Boobies. Now, concentrate, concentrate hard - put this in your left hand and tell me what grade it is - Oh f##k, he's off again - it was the CONCENTRATION that needed to be hard. - can someone please bring some cold water?]]

airship

Sorry to hear you are suffering from that rare disorder which commonly afflicts Pleistocene Leftovers. Might I recommend the Hampton Lobotomy Health Center, AKA Pruneonia Health Services to you for consideration. They are very skilled in the surgery you will require, lead by the noted Chief of Surgery, Dr. Raymond Jekyll. As Dr. Jekyll has aged, it is important to schedule your procedure on the correct day of the week as the good Dr. has good days and bad days, if you know what I mean. Thursdays are his best days, Mondays are his worst days. Good luck and we look for your return soon.;):)

TD

Airships
We shall all be the poorer by your departure.
Insanity is, I believe, is a matter of perspective – is it we or is it “them”, who knows. Save that if 90% are “them” then they get to judge.
With regard to your lobotomy, should you consider the Hampton Lobotomy Health Centre and/or the ministrations of the good (on a good day) Dr. Jekyll not to your liking then please let me know. I have a connection to a medic, wonderful chap, he is a part of our Expeditionary Force. Indeed, he was in the field (on parade of course) when our dear departed Consort had that most unfortunate accident. The young man spent hours in a valiant (but alas vain) attempt to treat poor Upper Air.
As you will will be aware, the most serious injury suffered by Upper Air was a brain injury, the work performed by the young medic was of such calibre that we are confident that, had he survived, there is little doubt (indeed, no doubt) that the effect on Upper Air would have been that of a lobotomy. So, in a lobotomy context “the boy done good”, the operation was (medically speaking and if one sets aside that most unfortunate incident with the trifle) a complete success, just such a shame that Upper Air died.
Just let me know and I shall use what little influence I have, as SoS for Statements, to get it organised. If required I'll also make my (MY!!!) Lear jet available to transport you to wherever our EF may be (undertaking goodwill visits) at the time of your operation.
Yours etc. etc.

Slfsfu & KnC

Unbeknownst to your decision today to appoint KnC to the position of Thief Finder General, As Chief of The Navy Staff, I have had my Commander in charge of Naval UAVs searching for the dastardly six sons of Fagin that stole the sitting chairs. Late this afternoon, I received a communiqué that the thieves, highly armed as they were, have been dealt with, preserving the well being of our Pruneonian UAV which was being fired upon. Here then is a film of the events and the ending of the thieving Faginites.

YouTube - UAV Kills 6 Heavily Armed Criminals

The stolen chairs may be retrieved in the building at the corner of High St. and Elmwood, all in good condition. Sorry if I preempted your order, just a delay in communications.

TD

Turbine D
Excellent work, please to convey to the Commander of the Naval UAV’s the most heartfelt thanks from the Government of Pruneonia. Inform him/her and all intermediary ranks between him/her and your good self that copious quantities of Boobies will be shipped to them immediately. I trust that my assumption is correct and that Boobies would be a suitable reward, I ask simply in the knowledge that we’re talking about the Navy here. As men of Pruneonia, we know that different “standards” (shall we say) may apply where the Navy is concerned (remember that unseemly incident with the cabin boy, I believe his name was Roger). You, sir, I know to be a Boobie man and many handfuls shall be yours.
It is gratifying to know that our investment of Boobies for the acquisition of UAV’s has finally paid off. They may have cost 1000 Boobies (Standard A cup) each but it was well worth it.
In take no offence that you have pre-empted my appointment of KnC to the position of Thief Finder General, it is results that matter and by g##d sir, your Commander has produced results. I do so hope that he’s a Boobie man with an inclination to produce offspring. Wouldn’t want talent like that to die withering on the vine, no, no just wouldn’t do, to have withering on the vine. I do so hate withering on the vine, my late uncle (at least I was told to call him uncle) talked about withering on the vine. Made a big thing about it, always said my father was troubled by withering of the vine. Funny chap my father, never did understand why he was so short and ugly yet I, quite tall and reasonably presentable, had a striking resemblance to my uncle. Anyway, I digress, think no more about it, I’ll square things away with KnC (he’s got the other job anyway), few handful s of Boobies, maybe a little Piper –or has he got a little Piper (oh no, that was Goudie, “small is ......”, keep it up Goudie!!). Now, where was I, ah yes the Lear Jet, y’ know it’s mine now don’t you Turbine D? Yep, good old Slasher gave me the Lear jet, complete with all appurtenances and a Hostess with two lesbian friends. Lovely girl that hostess and so kind to animals, she tells me that she never goes anywhere without her pussy. I do hope she brings her pussy on the Lear jet (I have told you that it’s mine now, haven’t I) I do so look forward to stroking her pussy.
By the way, did you mention KnC, good fellow, one of us don’t y’ know, I’m sure he’ll do well in Logistics and Supply Chain. Needs to learn a bit, tends to overplay his hand (is that what they call it these days “overplaying the hand”). Anyway, better keep an eye on him for a while, bit of talk about revolutionary tendencies. You don’t think its withering on the vine do you Turbine D? – can’t have withering on the vine in Logistics, basic part of the job is securing handfuls of Boobies by backhanders (sorry, consultancy fees) from defence contractor. Not sure that withering on the vine would go down well for securing Boobies.

Mmm ..... lovely.

Meanwhile you have my support. We should take on the meally mouthed ones directly.

TOO MUCH ORGANIZING NOT ENOUGH ACTION! just like in the rest of the world.

To the ruling Junta...

I am rather dissapointed, since joining the revolution on page 2, I don't seem to have been offered a ministry, diplomatic post, or commission. Now I know I have been away on business for quite a few pages, but I don't wish to be the only person left brandishing an AK-47!:hmm:

I shall polish my medals in anticipation, while I wait your response...:}

Howard, there are one or two more waiting in the wings (AK47's and RPG's on their shoulders) to see some progress being made in "our" new government beyond witnessing handfuls of boobies making their way towards our new "leaders".

I have recently taken delivery of 20 or so brand new Toyota pickups all with topside hard mounts, 50 cal's installed and munitioned.

Suffice it to say, the leaders' heads are so filled with boobies they'll have no chance of finding us.

We wait for some sign of progress in the revolution, or we start our own counter-revolution. In the meantime, the rumshacks are doing quite well. We are amply funded by the CIA and (by a separate deal about which Langley, of course, knows nothing) the Kremlin. Negotiations with that bearded gentleman who appears Saudi but speaks fluent Pashtun came to nothing.

If you come across any of our people, the password is "Llanfairpwyllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantisiliogogogoch".

Crippen – you make an excellent point sir. In my capacity as Inner Party Power Broker I wish to offer you the post of Minister for Disorganisation. Said appointment is of course subject to your acceptance and ratification by Her majesty Queen OFSO. Your principle function will be to ensure that
(a) sufficient thievies and all like minded miscreant are at large amongst the plebs and proles as to engender total dysfunction (other than dysfunction that may affect production of Boobies). In this respect, we regret that you will have little to start with, the over-eagerness of one of our Naval Commanders having destroyed the core stock (thinks, we in Government must learn to blow with the wind – sorry, recognise legitimate concern of our peoples)
(b) all annexed lands remain totally disorganised (save for the aforesaid exception)

Howard Hughes - we have been awaiting your return, good sir, be assured that it is not our policy to make Ministerial appointments without first informing the poor sod (sorry, worthy intended recipient) in advance. Hence we have withheld any announcement. However, the time is now ripe so, we would like to appoint you to the Ministry of C##p Projects and Reclusiveness, as Minister of course. Here you will oversee such C##p Projects as you consider totally f###ing hopeless. One such (by way of a suggestion only of course, ‘tis your decision) would be an extremely large aircraft made of wood. To make it even more hopeless, we wonder if you could make it take off and land on water. Where the engines to be underpowered, rather like some small Piper (morning Goudie, got your little things up and about today, think “small is beautiful” Goudie, good lad) that might increase the possibility of total failure.

Captain Stable – to you sir I will say bore da, Cymru am Byth. We wish to afforded to you the position of First Minister of the Principality. This we believe will provide you ample lands and empty spaces to utilise your excellently equipped Toyota’s. As a humble functionary may I suggest North of Brecon and West of Knighton might provide suitable terrain? - Indeed this might enable you to become more acquainted with the “bearded one” of whom you speak (talk is that he may well be resident in said parts). I trust that you will be in a position to closed that stable door before the horse has bolted.

Pending your collective acceptance, in my capacity as Secretary of State for Statements I shall arrange for my Ministry to issue a statement stating that a statement will be issued stating that a full statement will be made in the fullness of time.

Slsfu, your kind offer is not without its merits.

You do, I am sure, appreciate that my loyal followers, who address me as Tuesday (was it Mardi? or Mahdi - I'm not sure) will also need some means of income. They're not trained in much, sadly, except rape, pillage, driving very fast across poor terrain, pillage and rape. They are, however, quite good at shooting off rounds in the air - they never miss.

Perhaps they could, under my command, of course, be employed as some sort of State Militia? That would make me Minister for State Security, I believe.

With that post would come a certain amount of intelligence-gathering (my followers being somewhat lacking in the intelligence department) and, although I have a lot of information about certain members of the government that would, I am sure, appear somewhat regrettable were it to be published in the News of the World, I am sure it could be - ahem - suppressed in the national interest. Such suppression, of course, would involve me in considerable expense which should, of course, be reimbursed from the national store of boobies. As broker for the deal, you would, of course, partake of your normal commission.

I trust you find this compromise acceptable.

Long live the revolution! (Whichever one it turns out to be).

Sifsu.


Fully trained for the job!:) Used to work for the Government of the UK, so job will suit me down to the ground.:ok:

Slfsfu, Pardon me for asking, but having read your posts for the last week or so, I'm beginning to suspect that you are, in fact, a genuine politician. All the signs are there. Beguiling flattery, Spin, dispensing power with largess, faked sincerity, corrupt and self serving, (think Lear jet)etc.
If I'm wrong then do please forgive me, however you do display a wonderful talent for running a Government and perhaps should have a word with your local selection committee.
BTW You'll be pleased to hear that I've managed to get everything up and running, all be it on a somewhat modest scale:ok:

Captain Stable, First Minister (No less!!)– subject to some very minor clarifications, as set forth herein, your proposal is accepted.
a) You will have sole rights and responsibilities for all Budgets applicable to the Principality (be they civil or military). Please be assured that the quantum of Boobies so allocated will be more than sufficient (indeed one might say that you shall be granted ample Boobies) for you to disperse to your cronies (sorry, most able and worth assistant), blackmailers (sorry, intelligence operatives) and, of course backhanders to your superiors in Government (sorry, intra departmental administrative overheads). Lest you be unaware of the fact, the Prunoneonia National Audit Office, whose charge is the audit of Government expenditure, is prohibited form auditing government accounts (so, no worries there sunshine, get my drift :ok:)
b) Your role as Minister of State for Security is changed to Minister of State for the Security of the Principality (you stay in your own back yard, do y’ hear – not having any Tom, Dick or Taffy f###ing up our patch).
c) Subject to the commissions to which you refer, I shall arrange for you to have your own personal key to one (but only one) of the national stores of Boobies. Indeed, one might even consider establishing such a store within the Principality. Of course this will require much study, planning committees, Royal Commissions and the like, but I’m sure that, subject to recovery of the necessary “Admin Overheads” (shall we say :E) this can be arranged.
Whilst not a condition, simply by way of assistance to you in your new position (admin fee for such assistance to follow), I would advise you that in respect of Sir Benfro and Powis – there be dragon there - well actually there are dragon all over the f####ing Pricipality but no doubt your Toyota "techniks" will take care of them (but please keep a few, I'm a bit sentimental!!) .

The post of First Minister, with side portfolio as Minister for Security of the Province and all the other benefits - ahem, sorry - other duties laid on my unworthy shoulders is acceptable.

In the meantime, I have instructed my loyal followers to burn certain copies of photographs of artistic merit in which a certain government minister posed au naturel with a few Lascar seamen. The original is currently mislaid, but who knows? It might turn up at some time in the future should I need to have a bit of a tidy up around here... :hmm: Suffice it to say I'm far too busy now with all my duties to do such menial housework, but should my - ahhhh - duties ever be lessened I'm sure I could find the time for a clean up, and in the process might - oh joy! - discover all sorts of previously lost items! :cool:

I have already improved the transport situation in the Province. This really should have been the remit of the Minister for Transport, but I understand he is stuck in a traffic jam at present. Such improvement consists in locating and commandeering a railway locomotive bearing a name plaque with the legend "Ivor" on the side. His driver, a certain Mr. Jones "The Steam", seems a willing soul, and I have mounted a 50 cal on the tender. Mr. Dai Station objected to this quoting some regulation or other, so he is currently being held in a secure detention facility pending further interrogation.

SLFSFU,

I accept your offer of a ministry within the glorious government. I see your proposal (re: the large transport aircraft) has some merit and will begin the design process immediately. There should be much room for Captain Stables Toyotas, although don't expect them to actually go anywhere. Of course I envisage many cost overruns and will need to appear before the committee to ask for more funds!

I look forward to serving the revolution in my new capacity and shall now retire to trim my moustache!;)

Goudie, sir, - you do me a grave injustice an insult that in earlier times would have caused me to slap you in the face with my gauntlet (I said gauntlet, t##twit!! ). Such calumny words fail. Be assured that politician be not I – I serve as but a humble artificer in the engine room of this, our great ship of state, only for long as the great unwashed (sorry, good citizens) wish to avail themselves of my meagre services . (Goudie, how many f###ing references have I made to “oil” – think “black stuff” Goudie, get a grip man – no not of that!! – s##t where’s the cold water when you need some)
Modest is who modest finds Goudie, glad that the system’s up and working. I’m sure that you’ve handled all of the Boobies that your carer possesses and her limited expectations have been fulfilled

My humble apologies Sir. I had no wish to offend your good and noble self. I just felt that you do have a recognisable talent for dispensing bullsh!t. This talent is in high demand today in Govt. circles and I feel you should take the opportunity to put this undeniable and exqusite talent you possess to the best possible use. The rewards are of course exceedingly more than you could ever wish for. Meanwhile, Sir, we remain forever in your debt, for allowing us the benefits of your inestimable skills.
Your Humble Servant etc. etc.

Howard Hughes , dear Minister – get a grip for f##ks sake– the projects are not supposed to have merit. That’s the whole f###ing point. Be assured that given you have only recently been appointed to this particular position this oversight on your part (I would add) will not be held against you. You are, of course, at liberty to hold anything against you that you deem appropriate. Thinking of which, your allocation of Boobies has been increased to enable you to attend “training courses” (shall we say).
Finally, on behalf of Her Majesty I welcome you to the Government, I’m sure that you will have a ,long and distinguished career . (Thinks, get a grip “sunshine” or your next “training course” will be in Aberystwyth, where you might reasonably expect a visit from some security chaps, sent my colleague the First Minister. The resulting Statement might state “most unfortunate...mishap whilst playing with a friendly a dragon, dear departed, most sadly missed etc., etc.”)
Crippen – You sir, are a treat to behold, a man of experience in government. Oh how we yearn for your skills that in such short supply. Of course, in common with the market (I said “common with the market” not “Common Market” – f##k me, it’s like trying to work in a mad house ) the handfuls of Boobies to which you are entitled will be reflective of the scarcity of supply of your particular skills

ummmm...

could we have more examples of the new currency please,
it's for a friend

Confidential, your eyes only
From:- Inner Party Power Broker
To:- HR Queen OFSO and Slasher, PM
Subject:- Operation Daffodil
I respectfully report that the subject operation is now complete. Our (sorry, your) strategy of exclusion has been a complete success. It did as we (sorry, you) anticipated engender all three candidates to make application for and to subsequently accept positions in our (sorry, your) Government.
I remain your must humble and unworthy servant who’s only desire is to serve
Slfsfu

Good god, man!

Do you think boobies grow on trees???? :ugh:

In order to carry out the cider evaluation programme, a large quantitittytitty of boobies will not be required. I would be prepared, in this instance, to take on the work pro bono as long as ably assisted by #1 from post #118.

See, the public service ethos lives on in our brave new republic or monarchy or totalitarian dictatorship or whatever.

As Minister for Fashion and Design I've designed a suitable fashion item to carry ones Boobies around in. It has two compartments and fits quite nicely over one's
shoulders. My carer gave me the idea. I shall of course reward her as soon as my expenses come through.

MagnusP – to thee the glory, consider #1 of post #118 assigned to you with immediate effect for the purposes as stated in your communication and/or such other purposes as you, in your sole opinion, deem desirable (thinks, my g#d now that is desirable). However, whilst most precedents arebeneficial some are not. In particular, it would be extremely unwise to set a precedent of “pro bono” . No sir, you must be suitably rewarded and commissions (sorry Departmental Admin Overhead fees) paid. Please submit your expense claim (in a plain brown envelope) to Slasher PM. Note said expense claim should not be itemised – just a simple statement stating that BSxxxxx (k or mm) is due in respect of cider evaluation.
Captain Stable, First Minister – please ensure that Mr Dai Station is sent on the Max the Boyce training course for rail track engineers (you know the one; flag, whistle, caps – biggest f##ing crash you’ll ever see). He will not be permitted to claim expenses (thinks, can’t have underlings and functionaries claiming expenses, next thing you know they’ll want Sunday off ); he shall assign all costs to you (free of charge) which you shall them claim (complete with normal fees and overhead)
Goudie – still keeping it up I see (no, not that, the design stuff I meant). Glad to see that your carer is giving you ideas. Would I be right in thinking that your design might be similar to that portrayed by #1 on post #118 (though, personally, I do feel that is – or should I say they are - a bit overdressed).
Slasher PM – I would commend Algernon (Media) and Howard (C##p Projects) for your attention. Whilst still new to their respective positions (thinks, positions, I need some new positions, shudder, shudder) they are showing extraordinary ineptitude to the degree that they may well attain high office, with you support and consent of course. Naturally I have seen fit to draw their attention to some small failings (still there Goudie, small is.... and all that !!) but I’m quite confident that no lessons will be learnt or procedures revised.

Slfsfu: You are most kind. I just didn't want to give the appearance of, as it were, sucking on the tit of the public purse.

Dear Magnus, (may I call you Magnus?) – please be assured that your Ministerial position permits you to suck on whatever you so choose :E. (thinks, poor boy, new to the ways of government and in need of much guidance. I trust that my show of friendship will give him the confidence that he will undoubtedly need if he is to properly evaluate the cider (and #1 of post #118). I do know that cider plebs and underlings will need to be sanctioned and he will need to strength to do this, without mercy – examples will need to be made, lessons learnt, policies revised etc., etc. )

(thinks, positions, I need some new positions, shudder, shudder)Quick, nurse! The screens! :eek:

Dear Slfsfu, (may I call you Slfsfu?), thank you for your kind words. Your guidance in the ways of our brave new world will, I am sure, be invaluable. If I can, by way of appreciation, sling a couple of boobies your way, be sure to let me know. In the meantime, I expect to establish whether cider goggles in any way lead to an upward revaluation of boobies as I believe they may have done so in the past.

#1 on post #118 (though, personally, I do feel that is – or should I say they are - a bit overdressed).
Having studied this post for 30 mins or so I must agree there is a similarity to my design. However my design is far more robust, to ensure Boobies do not accidentally fall out or a hand to sneak in without one noticing. I might ask MagnusP to carry out an independent trial for me.

goudie: It may be the case that your design is somewhat over-engineered. Some sort of escape route is always preferable to rigid confinement. You are correct to suggest an independent trial. However, we must ensure a large enough sample for statistical significance.

I wonder whether, for the sake of fiscal prudence, we could combine that trial with the auditions for the all-female marching band we will need to perform the anthem at the governmental opening ceremony. I am happy to take advice on this matter.

First minister, concentrate man. F##k me....
[ What was that Nicolle..... Yes, I did, but give me a few minutes. Affairs of State don’t y’ know. Just make yourself comfortable on that table; I’ll come over in a minute. Now where was, ah yes]
I just need to know that Dai Station is on that f###ing course.
By all mneans sling some Boobies in my direction. One can never have too many Boobies
[ thinks, why didn’t I just get a 100 f##ing cats. Much easier to heard that this lot]
Goudie, thank you. At least someone who can stay concentrated on the job at hand, small though his (sorry, it, I meant “it”) may be. I shall await the report form dear Magnus (I’ll keep calling him that until I’m confident that he has confidence)

My first outing to evaluate a suitable cider to carry the soubriquet "official" in our fair country will be on or about April 12th in the Prince of Wales emporium in the Granite City, a fine establishment which may be known to the Rt. Hon Slfsfu. As I will have to leave MrsP and her booby holder at home, I may need to call on a supply of local boobies to stave off booby impoverishment. I will report back thereafter.

Magnus – you really must get a grip (no, not of that) let’s have no more talk of “fiscal prudence”. We in Government are committed to the acquisition of Boobies. Said Boobies can only be brought to hand by backhanders (sorry, maximised recovery of departmental Admin and Overheads fees). [thinks, this boy will go far, he has tremendous potential with absolutely no idea of what government is about, given 20 years of achieving sweet f##k all he’ll make PM]
First Minister – my apologies my note re “concentrate” should have been addressed to dear Magnus. Suffice to say that lessons will be learnt and procedures revised.

Just reading in from page 4

We will "steam" into Antwerp harbor at 50 knots, easily stunning the natives, capturing all the best beers and the best looking cheerleaders!:

I'll launch a sneaky diversion over the Maas from the East (Grevenbicht)

http://www.freewebs.com/marinavranken/veerklein.jpg

Should I put out the Deck Chairs?
Or will they get blown away???

Fair comment, Slfsfu, but I think you may misunderstand me. The idea of prudence was to retain the maximum possible number of boobies within government hands and to avoid, as far as possible, the disbursement of the aforementioned boobies amongst the hoi polloi. While the masses may, at times, be a valuable source of boobies, we certainly would prefer to avoid them getting their (probably unwashed) mitts on ours.

As an interim measure until the foreign secretary gets up to speed, I intend to open international discussions with Japanese politicians on the exchange rate. Basically a yen for boobies sort of thing. I expect to start with the (hopefully dis-)honourable Yuri Fujikawa.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/25/article-1164890-04182169000005DC-829_634x426.jpg

I hope we shall also discuss Uganda.

As an interim measure until the foreign secretary gets up to speed, I intend to open international discussions with Japanese politicians on the exchange rate. Basically a yen for boobies sort of thing. I expect to start with the (hopefully dis-)honourable Yuri Fujikawa.



How much Yen is she willing to exchange for a decent set of boobies?

Magnus dear heart [thinks, built confidence built confidence] I now understand, you are to be commend young sir.
Lon More – subject only to a successful invas...(sorry friendly annexation) of Belguim, I’m confident that a suitable governmental position can be found for you. I’m also please to note that your Expeditionary Force has kept to the bare (well not actually bare) minimum the number of Boobies exposed to danger. We can’t have Boobies exposed to danger, exposed, yes, but not to danger and only exposed to Governmental Ministers and their nominees. Please first divert to Europort and collect 150k m/tons of Bunker oil for the (soon to be renamed) “Ark Royal”. Then liaise with Storminnorm, who will co-ordinate the invas...(sorry, annexation)
Slasher PM/Storminnorm – May I, your most humble servant and functionary, request that Storminnorm assume all planning and execution of our invas...(sorry, annexation) efforts. I’m dealing with a bunch of f##wits here – if brain transplant ever becomes a reality I’ve got about 100 unused ones available. The good news is that I’m convinced that each and every one of them has excellent Ministerial promise, some indeed (the real f~#ing idiots) would make excellent PM’s. I hasten to add, not for many years of course and certainly not before Slasher PM sees fit to retire and spend many a happy year with handfuls of Boobies.
If we are to accomplish our goal of World Domination we need Storminorm on the inva..(annexation) bit and I'll look after the administration of this bunch of oxygen thieves.

As any financial expert will tell you, and as with all currencies, the booby can be inflated by deft manipulation.

Howard Hughes & Slfsfu

Have you possibly considered a procurement of large transports currently available off the shelf, er, desert floor? There is a huge selection to choose from, all sizes, shapes, colors and conditions.

http://www.johnweeks.com/boneyard/photos/mojave2011x06.jpg

http://www.johnweeks.com/boneyard/photos/mojave2011x05.jpg

Whomever is in charge of Pruneonia procurement may want to further investigate this option. I am told the Mojaveians do not accept Pruneonian Boobies, but would accept the Pruneonian Mastercard or Visa while offering a 5% discount on whatever is purchased.:ok:

For your consideration,

TD

Turbine D/Howard Hughes/KnC (cc Storminnorm)– Tks Turbine D, though I feel that I must point out yet again :ugh:that Howard is in charge of C##p Projects only. His is most vital work and he should not be distracted. KnC is in charge of Logistics & Supply Chain – aircraft clearly come under his purview. I will concede that certain aircraft seem to carry the “Aloha” logo and, yes, Howard may investigate those further. KnC, please liaise with Storminnorm, assess his requirements then add 150%, to ensure a suitable quantum of “consultancy fees” (Boobies for the use of). You may then go out and negotiate [thinks, we need to keep an eye on him, revolutionary tendencies until proved otherwise, don’t y’ know . Will he distribute all the” fees” back up the line or take an extra cut for himself. If they all come back up the line he’s definitely not one of us]

We seem to have lost about 25 posts,deleted by the mods! What the f...were they like?:*

Magnus, good point. I need to allow for inflation in my design for Boobie holders. We don't want to have the 'D+' cup runneth over so to speak!
With re. we will need to perform the anthem at the governmental opening ceremony.

As you know, I have a complete monopoly on providing choral music for official events and keeping in mind fiscal prudence, I will be doing a special offer whereby I will only add two extra noughts, instead of the usual three, to the costs. I think it wise not to inform Stockie of my chorus monopoly and payment in Boobies etc., don't you?:eek:

Goudie/Magnus, dear boy [confidence, think confidence] I am so grateful to you both. Minister talking to Minister – joined up government no less. How that does my heart good [thinks, at last I can get away and see to Nicolle, she’s been waiting over two hours - two hours and not even one handful of Boobies to call my own – shudder, shudder]

Magnus,

I'm not sure I will be able to get up to speed.

BA will not accept boobies in payment for my planned trips to the USA and Kazakhstan.

I'm therefore a bit stuck in the UK until my Lear Jet arrives.
However, I am investigating the possibility of acquiring one of those new-fangled things, I think they are called a telephone.

I'll then contact the fragrant Clinton on the telephone.
My Affairs in Kazakhstan do need my personal presence.

Good luck with the Japanes.

Domo origato oseimas.

We seem to have lost about 25 posts,deleted by the mods! What the f...were they like?

Mostly stuff from basic search engine searches from search engines using "boobies"- "images"

Try it and post the best for us to confirm

The time has come, dear friends, to move to action rather than words. To that end, I have worked diligently to audition the ladies for the marching band (and official pole-dancing society) and can report a high degree of success, especially with those who displayed some proficiency with the pink piccolo. Their first musical engagement will be at the launch of the vessel formerly known as the Ark Royal.

I have given some thought to this. We need to demonstrate to the world our mountain-like solidity as well as our loving nature towards those we would wish to subjugate. In addition, we should display our high degree of cultural and linguistic ability and so, fellow parliamentarians, I give you the new name of our flagship vessel incorporating solidity, love and Latin.

You are hereby invited to the launch of HMS Mons Veneris.

I trust this meets with Cabinet approval.

Slfsfu

Would it be possible, kind Sir, to publish a new listing of Appointees, Ministers, and alike? It would appear that some of the notices were shredded by the MODs, leading to much confusion.

Has the Pruneonian Postal Service receieved the postage stamps from the printer as of yet?

Also, does Queen OFSO still require need of an open air vehicle for parades and reviews? Kindly, please let me know.

TD

I'm wondering if Queen OFSO has abdicated already?

Was it something we said?

Her/His Majesty is on a State Visit to Luxembourg. I believe he is negotiating with them to be the first country to recognise us. If they do then Monaco, Iceland and the Seychelles should follow thus paving the way for lesser countries, USA, France, Germany, UK, to follow suit.

This (http://www.hutt-river-province.com/) country would recognise us for sure, for a fee...;)

As Minister for Disorganisation, I have today recieved the following E Mail.


From Cnl Ghaddaffi. Tripoli Libya.

Dear sirs at Prunopia'
I wish to enquire about citizanship of the aforementioned country.If a sum of money is required for a passport,this is of course,no problem! I will also bring with me my personal body-guards with their own supplies of boobies,some of these being quite large and colourful. I also will provide a Super-Tanker of at least 250,000tonnes of oil for you airforce,which should last you a while.

Your Sincerley..

Cnl Ghadaffii



Please reply to CNLGHDFFI @<hidden> amail.com






I forward this to you for discussion. Crippen
:confused:

Here's another (http://www.sealandgov.org/) that will recognise us.

Crippen, as Minister for State Security for the Province (and First Minister), I would welcome the gentleman's boobies, his oil tanker (definitely - we need to bunker HMPS Ark Royal somehow) and the passport application fee I believe is in the region of PB150M, with usual commission charges payable to relevant Ministers including myself - I mean, my administrative assistant Samantha, who has given up appearing on "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" as there was not much dosh in it. She has now placed her boobies entirely at my disposal, and I look forward to making a deposit shortly.

However, the gentleman's personal bodyguards will not be required. We understand they have a poor track record of behaviour on aircraft, bad personal hygiene and bad skin. My faithful followers (led by the indomitable Abdul) will be able to provide all the personal security the Libyan gentleman is likely to need for the rest of his life.

<No, Abdul, don't worry - you'll be off duty by lunchtime :cool:>

Please pass on our humble respects with the above assurances, crippen.

<No, no, Samantha, don't bother getting dressed...>

http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=4070d61fc64c030ca59df38a4f888c0f

Crippen – Minister of Disorganisation, I would commend you on the undoubted success of your first major achievement. I said that I “would” but, frankly, dear heart, I believe you have misunderstood the prime objective of the role; being to create disorganisation within the unwashed masses (thereby distracting them from undue scrutiny of their Government). Whilst clearly you have achieved great success in your endeavours, this has come at some considerable cost to your colleagues. Your department’s infiltration of our IT system has resulted in the destruction of at least 25 prime Governmental records, including the listing of the role of dis..(sorry, honour) wherein Government appointments are recorded. Whilst such ineptitude may be indicative of your potential for high office it will no doubt fall to me, the most humble of humble servants, in my capacity as Inner Power Broker (as distinct from my capacity as SoS for Statements) to recompile said listing.
As to your proposal re that chap Ghadaffi, you have my full support, provided that the actions are consistent with those proposed by Capt Stable (First Minister) with the following essential build. The first minister has indicated that “Abdul... role will be concluded by lunchtime” (I get the drift). This must be accomplished with some finesse). Might I suggest that that chap be assigned a residence near Aberystwyth. This will enable us to issue a statement stating something along the lines of “most unfortunate...mishap whilst playing with a friendly a dragon, chequered history, de mortuis nil nisi bonum, most sadly missed by his family, etc., etc.”). However, you must, I repeat MUST confirm to me personally [thinks, these numpties have so much imbecilic potential I can’t leave anything to chance] that the monies (Boobies for the purchase of) and the Fuel Oil are safely within our possession. Crippen, I warn thee, if anything happens to that f###ing Ghadaffi chap before we have monies etc, I shall render unto thee such f####ing chaos that it will make any “disorganisation” that you may create seem but the height of efficiency. [thinks, his b##ls hanging round his neck will be the least of his problems, I’ll have the b###rd bent over in the showers of Belmarch for six months]
Howard Hughes/Capt Stable – my observations on your proposals for international recognition. Hutt, absolutely though this is expressly subject to the consent of Alisocc, I don’t (sorry, Slasher PM doesn’t) want to cause any diplomatic incident with Oz and, clearly there are issue between Hutt and Oz.
Sealand, not a f###ing chance, that man is ex-UK military, he’s already seen off the RN (and they can dish out some serious s##t. Well in the past they could, things might be different now, now that we have the soon to be renamed “Ark Royal”), Besides the place has nothing to offer us, no warmth, no breweries, no boobies, just a pile of f##ing concrete in the North Sea. C##st man, with my industrial contacts, I could have 30 gas platforms by tea time – as much energy as we want – so, concentrate on your f##ing jobs and forget Sealand or Peeland whatever it’s called. [thinks – Howard is C##p Projects/ Stable is First Minister – both sticking their noses in someone else’s dept of Foreign Affairs, these boys will go far – I can pick ‘em]
Slasher PM – the Lear jet,( MINE (!!!) for the use of). Went out to see the jet yesterday, met the hostess and her two lesbian friends. I must say it has very big engines, much bigger than those small Piper things (Morning Goudie, carer seen to your needs today – good lad, keep it up, small is...and all that) Turns out that the lesbian girls are called “Bumper” and “Thumper”, they act as pilot and co-pilot (surprising really because they didn’t seem to show much interest in my cockpit, most disappointing). D’ y’ know that the hostess is so fond of animals that she changed her name, by deed-poll, to “Pussy Galore”. Anyway, we all went for a bit of a “spin” (at least I think one of them called it a “spin”) suffice to say it was new to me. As indeed were some of the other positions we tried, so I’m delighted to report that yesterday’s dilemma (about finding other positions) has been resolved.
Goudie, tks for the update on HRH’s activities. I (sorry, Slasher PM) would agree that the lesser nations such as USA, France, Germany can wait. I would (sorry, Slasher PM would) like the Netherlands quite high on the list. I know that we will have some bunker oil from that Col Whatshisname, but I’m (sorry, Slasher PM is) still concerned about a long term supply, We have the World to domin...(sorry, annex) with so much steaming for our fleet and heavy consumption of bunkers. Come to think of it, much cruising between “friendly visits” and that f###ing crew will consume much beer – so, Netherlands will also give us breweries. Yes, Gourdie, get the Netherlands up the list - thinking of “up” Goudie, things going well I trust.

Might I suggest that that chap be assigned a residence near Aberystwyth. This will enable us to issue a statement stating something along the lines of “most unfortunate...mishap whilst playing with a friendly a dragon, chequered history, de mortuis nil nisi bonum, most sadly missed by his family, etc., etc.”).I was thinking something along the lines of going for a nice helo ride, see the Beacons from the air sort of thing. Some nice chaps I found wandering around, say they're from somewhere or other in Worcestershire, wear sort of sandy-brown berets, will take him up for a nice sightseeing tour. The only slight niggle is that I gather the seatbelts aren't too clever in those things...

Re Sealand, I wasn't advocating living there - good god man, what do you take me for? Some sort of masochist? A rain-sodden little lump in the middle of the ocean???? :rolleyes: You'll be suggesting living in Guernsey next, FFS! :mad:

http://www.mykonosphotographs.com/temp/db041002.gif

No, I merely thought of contacting him with a view to recognition - no, as you say he's seen off the RN, the RAF and the Boys Brigade so he might be quite sympathetic to our cause.

Her/His Majesty is on a State Visit to Luxembourg. I believe he is negotiating with them to be the first country to recognise us. If they do then Monaco, Iceland and the Seychelles should follow thus paving the way for lesser countries, USA, France, Germany, UK, to follow suit.

Tues/Wed, I just drove to CRL in Belgium and back (Unbelievable! £20 return DVR-Dunkirk-DVR). They had some Prunes in the supermarket there....are the Belgians on side already?

The terms above are accepted forthwith!:ok:

The boobies,if needed will be enclosed in black and white wrappers,as the example shown below.:E

Student Uniforms - world's sexist is Thai, Japanese say - TeakDoor.com - The Thailand Forum (http://teakdoor.com/thailand-and-asia-news/86267-student-uniforms-worlds-sexist-thai-japanese.html)

Capt Stable – As my dear friend Mr Burns would say “Excellent, excellent” ( though I must say that I find his approach to underlings and plebs to be somewhat lax. I don’t see him holding any governmental position, indeed, not sure if he could hold any position, not for long anyway and certainly not to the satisfaction of Pussy Galore, quiet an incredible young lady. Anyway, back to helicopters and the like.) No matter the cause, the statement stating his untimely.... etc., etc. will still suffice [thinks; “not for long”, we haven’t heard from dear Goudie today, I do so hope that he’s “up” and about].#
Re Sealand – Ok go for it (sorry, Slasher PM is fully appraised of the benefits fo establishing relationships with Sealand (in particular with the wife and any daughters of the chap running it), so you are hereby authorised to proceed. If push comes to shove, any overly ambitious plebs showing revolutionary tendencies can be assigned to the place as “ambassadors” [ thinks, revolutionary tendencies – we haven’t heard from KnC since the untimely demise of our late Lord Consor, coincednce or otherwise I wonder? - We might need to consider issuing a “BOLO”, egt some of Capt Stables men an those boys with sandy brown berets looking ito it).
Hobo – whilst your initiative is to be applauded young sir, please, for f##ks sake and your own safety stay away from Belgium for a while. Things going on don’t y’ know – operatives in country and the like. In my capacity as SoS for Statements I will, in the fullness of time, make a statement stating an advance statement t may be issued concerning a statement addressing a statement (that may or not be made) stating the disposition of our Expeditionary Forces and any inva... (sorry, goodwill visit) that may or may not has been or indeed may be made to Belgium [thinks, hope I don’t slip up typing this chaps name, wandering around with all the naivety required of ANY Minister he shows definite promise,Just concerned that a finger on wrong key (only two away) and bang goes any hope of his career advancement]
Crippen – delighted with the news, thank you. [thinks, no problems with “uniforms” but what the f##k are we doing having “students” can’t have plebs/proles getting eductated don't y' know – send note to Minister of Education that all education must cease forthwith. Alternatively, send in Crippen’s boys from Disorganisation )

we haven’t heard from dear Goudie today, I do so hope that he’s “up” and about].#
Was a tad slow in rising this morning Slfsfu but Fifi (my carer)
by skillful application of the ointment managed to get a response, of sorts..........eventually.
When are actually going to be armed? I'm a crack shot (well I was in '59) with a .303 Lee Enfield so this would be my weapon of choice.

goudie, I can't at the moment put my hands on a Lee Enfield .303 (yes, I used to like that one as well - good at up to a mile and a half) but some of my people have AK47's, RPGs, and various truck-mounted hardware.

But if you would like to do what you used to with a .303, I happen to know a friend of a friend of a cousin of my wife's nephew who has "in his keeping" a couple of Barrett 50 cal rifles which he "acquired" when some other gentlemen in - ahhh - another Province were putting their weapons "beyond use". Beyond their use, perhaps, but not ours! :ok:

We're a little short on ammo at present, but I am daily expecting a delivery coming via a couple of countries on board a Panamanian-registered tanker (behind a false bulkhead in the cable tier) with - let us say - imaginatively-written end-user certificates.

Let Samantha know where to send it all.

http://www.mykonosphotographs.com/temp/200503jobinterview.jpg

I'm a crack shot


Are you sure that's what they said?

Goudie, heaven forefend that I should ever interfere in your weapon of choice. I leave that entirely to you, no doubt in consultation with your “carer ;).
As for the general use of L/E .303 – long accurate range. Do we really want the great unwashed masses handling weapons such as this. On the other hand, A/K 47 on “automatic” is a scatter gun, unlikely to hit anything other than massed ranks. Provided the Government doesn’t form massed rank then there’s no danger of the plebs hitting any of us.
Capt Stable – does Samantha have a similarly built relative that I can have :E (sorry, utilise).[thinks, she may be a bit big to take in the Lear jet, when I go galav... (sorry, on official business) but she does look like she would provide plenty of soft (Goudie, glad that your carer successfully administered the ointment :ok:) comfort when I return]

Must be away for a while - bales of foder arriving for my personal plebs.

We're being watched and censored I believe. Currently on p.17, however there appears to be pages 18 and 19 which are inaccesible (at least to this poor mortal) Maybe the inner Circle can view hem?

Lon More - i just assumed that it was Crippen and his boys from Disorganisation :rolleyes: :ugh:

Capt Stable – does Samantha have a similarly built relative that I can have http://64.19.142.10/www.pprune.org/images/smilies/evil.gif (sorry, utilise)Funnily enough, yes she does. His name's Sven - you might be just his type, but I don't know if he's your type...

Let Samantha know where to send it all.

Captain Stable, a Barrett 50 cal rifle sounds just up my street. Been a long time since I handled a lethal weapon but I'll soon get a feel for it, in spite of Fifi pointing out that it'll be just me finding another excuse for a bit of willy waving.
BTW Does Samantha do personal deliveries? Fifi said she'd love to meet her too................Fifi has lots of lady friends.

Capt Stable - thanks but I understand that Sven is about to receive his call up into the EF - being assigned to the 1st Platoon of the “Forlorn Hope” [thinks, if the forlorn hope were good enough for Wellington at Badajoz, then, by g#d sir, they’re good enough for our EF]. So he’s out [thinks, and probably a long f###ing way out. If I know our EF, they’ll stay a good mile behind that bunch of suicide crazed lunatics!!] Anyway what about other Samantha’s relatives (or indeed lookalikes), yes it might be easier to find lookalikes :ok:– you get my meaning Stable (no, not “meaning stable” as distinct from any other animal housing – what I meant was “...you get my meaning, Stable...” as in you [thinks, come back Baldrick, all is forgiven]

Goudie – you keep on handling that lethal weapon dear heart :D– if she doesn’t know how to do it, then teach Fifi. I’m confident that once she gets a hold of your lethal weapon she’ll put aside all thoughts of willy waving [thinks, it’s all down to instilling confidence. No matter how sma...(no, I mean "difficult") the challenge. Give them confidence and they’ll rise to anything – well they won't rise ever again for Sven, he poor sod is doomed, doomed I say, not a f##ing chance of surviving. If the enemies (sorry welcoming parade) don’t get him then sure as h##l the Ef will, if only to protect themselves]

Venturing in to my Official role as S of S for Foreign Affairs, I thought you would like to know the following......
There appears to be loads of money in this "switching sides" lark.
We could all promise out futures to some other country, and the odds are that the other countries will shell out lots and lots of money to buy us on to their side.

My only problem is selection. If one were to switch to another country, which would be a really great country to switch to??

One consideration when making a choice is; will they offer us cheap package holidays? I could do with a holiday. Fifi is wearing me out, never satisfied, more of this more of that. I wish she'd **** off back to Thailand, or wherever it was, then I could just go dahn the pub again with me mates. It all seemed such a good idea at the time.:sad: Maybe Slasher could take her on, he's always up for it.
When can I expect me call-up papers?

Is there life after page 17?

If so can it show its face

Is there life after page 17?
If so can it show its face
Well, you've just succeeded in opening page 18.

But I agree, I've seen the same snag (missing pages at the "end"), and not only on this particular topic.

Maybe the mods could have a go at fixing this bug ????

CJ

Something loose under the bonnet since the server change, methinks.

Samantha says that she's willing to give the mods a hand job - I'm sorry, that should read a hand - in sorting it out, except that she bombed out of Computer User 101 in evening classes when she couldn't find the "any" key.

Abdul and his mates are no use either - they'd simply shoot the screen up. :rolleyes:

Those wishing to view the succeeding pages will need to complete a "Freedom of Information" application in triplicate, and ensure that their application, when submitted, has attached the requisite fees in boobies (also in triplicate). Thank you.

I enclose the required payment.http://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/userpics/29301/normal_triple-t.jpg
:E

Goudie – your plight is of great concern to me (sorry, to Slasher PM). Some of Capt Stables most able assistants will invite Fifi for a helicopter ride. I’ll also make arrangements for my Lear jet (it’s mine, mine I tell ye!!) to take you and your mates for a vacation, place with lots of pubs. Pussy as hostess and Thumper and Bumper as pilot/co-pilot will, I’m confident, take care of your collective needs. Said vacation can be as long or as short as you desire [thinks, must avoid using “short” with Goudie, fear the chap may have complex – well he’s got something. Maybe refer him to that medic chap]
Capt Stable, dear heart, please tell your underlings to drop Fifi off with those sandy brown beret boys. Mention to them that she’s good at administering ointment and that they can have :E her for as long as they like. Mind, as we both know, “long” may not be very appropriate for those boys. I’m convinced that their homicidal tendencies are compensating for another “deficiency” (shall we say) in other departments .
Sultan Ismail/Christian J – fear not, ‘tis just Crippen and his boys from Dept of Disorganisation. They’re so f###ing disorganised they keep disorganising the Government instead of creating chaos for the plebs and proles :ugh:. [thinks, that Crippen chap displays a complete and utter inability to do his job. Like Howard at C##p Projects and Algernon at Media, this man could go far – very high office indeed]
Alisoncc - I await (sorry, Slasher PM awaits) your acceptance of the position of “Inspector of Men”. As previously noted, since you already have a full complement of Boobies, this is an honorary position (though you, as a Minister of State, are free to adopt whatever position you, in your sole opinion, may choose ;)).
I must however offer a mild rebuke (no, no Alisoncc, a mild rebuke in intended to be a form of punishment – [thinks, gees, I’m dealing with a bunch of f##ing perverts, this Government is fulfilling all of my – sorry Slasher PM’s - expectation] ) sorry, where was I, yes, mild rebuke – there is no Freedom of Information within Pruneonia this misnomer should be corrected. Please also see my ministerial note, below, on the payment of backhan...(sorry, Amin and Overhead fees) in Boobies in triuplicate.
Crippen - Brilliant, dear heart, absolutely brilliant [Note for Crippen’s file – this man is a total and utter f##kwit. Supposed to be in Disorganisation and he comes up with Boobies in triplicate in less than 4 hours. Mark this man for fast track advancement, anyone who does the opposite to his assigned task so quickly shows real promise].
Notice to all Governmental SoS’s, Ministers and half-lings – The Treasury of Prunonia is deeply disturbed (no news there then) that Boobies in triplicate may under value the exchange rate for Standard Boobies [thinks, well, they would be concerned if they hadn’t been so f##ing screwed up that they lost the “standard” for the Standard Boobie. All we can do now is to take Boobies in hand and determine roughly, well smoothly actually, if they conform to standard. Now, where was I, ah yes] . With immediate effect, all Boobies in triplicate must be taken in hand and delivered to the Inner Party Power Broker and placed safely into his hands. As but a humble and most unworthy servant whose sole objective is to serve himse...(sorry Slasher PM, his Government and the good citizens of Prunonia) he has volunteered, at great personal inconvenience (his only objective being.....), to retain such Boobies in triplicate in safe custody:ok:.

I've had a great offer from Mauritius.

mauritius - Google Search (http://www.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&sugexp=llsfp&xhr=t&q=mauritius&cp=3&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&sa=X&ei=NAmXTYC6Fozl4wbDrIHVAQ&sqi=2&ved=0CGwQsAQ&biw=1272&bih=830)

So I'm resigning. I'll have my lobotomy reversed when I get there.
I'll only tell them the juiciest tales about how our Government doesn't work, so most of you will be safe.

MI6 have been really helpful with ooodles of cash and a completely new identity.

Hey - Slasher - look at the 3rd photo along!

meanwhile, no need to watch your backs. Well, not too much anyway.

I'll have my lobotomy reversed when I get there.Good luck with that! :ok:

Alisoncc - I await (sorry, Slasher PM awaits) your acceptance of the position of “Inspector of Men”. As previously noted, since you already have a full complement of Boobies, this is an honorary position (though you, as a Minister of State, are free to adopt whatever position you, in your sole opinion, may choose ;)).

As your humble and obedient servant Sir I am pleased to accept.

I must however offer a mild rebuke (no, no Alisoncc, a mild rebuke in intended to be a form of punishment – [thinks, gees, I’m dealing with a bunch of f##ing perverts, this Government is fulfilling all of my – sorry Slasher PM’s - expectation] ) sorry, where was I, yes, mild rebuke – there is no Freedom of Information within Pruneonia this misnomer should be corrected. Please also see my ministerial note, below, on the payment of backhan...(sorry, Amin and Overhead fees) in Boobies in triuplicate.
The reprimand is duly accepted. Considered requirement for the submission of an FOI application to be adequate to get the meeja off our backs, knowing full well that no some application exists. A response that the forms are currently out-of-print and a new print-run is not scheduled until 2020 due to lack of paper would have been the contents of a standard letter.

AO – your resignation is accepted with much regret sir. As for the lobotomy reversal – don't worry about it, I doubt that you’ll remember a thing about it.
Alisoncc – Clearly, I underestimated your disorganisatitional abilities (“out of print, no print runs, etc. etc....”) for which I most humbly apologise. I’m confident that a promotion to a full department of your own will be forthcoming in the near future [Note to file, “humble servant...” / “ reprimand accepted...” and all that- shows great promise. However, being so disorganise,d Dept of Disorganisation would not be appropriate]

I would like to apply for the post of Director-General of the Prunopia Universal Broadcasting Entertainment Service.

Just have to think of a catchy acronym now.....

Government of Pruneonia Announcement
In my capacity as Inner party Power Broker and subject to the final approval of Slasher PM (in who’s shadow I am unworthy of walking) and her Majesty Queen OFSO, I hereby state that a Statement has been issued stating the following:
Alisoncc - is promoted to the position of Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs. She will continue to told the offices of Carrier of the Pen and Note Pad of State (she takes short hand don’t y’ know) and that of Inspector of Men. [Note to Editors:- Alisoncc is foreign so has little, if any, knowledge of Pruneonia – this of course makes her an excellent candidate to represent our National interests. We leave to her indiscre...(sorry, discretion) her conduct in respect of Affairs]
Vulcanised - is appointed to the position of Director-General of the Prunopia Universal Broadcasting Entertainment Service. In this newly created position, reporting directly to Algernon, Minister for Media & Communication, he will be responsible for the detailed examination of PUBES:eek:
[Private note to Vulcanised –if you go near that imbecile, Algernon, before reporting to me in detail first, I’ll have all your PUBES removed so f##ing fast you’ll think an Australian sheep shearer (I said “sheep shearer”!!!!!:ugh:) has been all over you]

to take you and your mates for a vacation,Wonderful news Slfsfu. I know I haven't seen any action yet (military that is)
but I fancy some R&R. Maybe I could join AO in Mauritius. I've told Fifi she's going on a helicopter ride. She was a bit reluctant at first but when I told her, without going into details, that it would be a pushover she said ''I'll jump at the chance then, nice knowing you Goudie.'' I just managed to hide a wicked smirk:E
On my return from R & R I would welcome a position in the new 'PUBES' set-up. I have appeared on TV as it happens. It was at Twickers, I was half way back in the north side.

Do carry on the good work. It is so uplifting to see a genius at work. Just a reminder. Lear jet to Mauritius:ok:

I am pleased to accept your gracious offer although I was somewhat perturbed to receive an email from Algernon containing a picture of his PUBES. Has he fully understood what we are about?

I have obtained a 200kW transmitter from Dick the Divvy who assures me that the previous owner (Belt & Braces Company) ceased using it a week ago. It transmits on 648kHz so that should take care of our audio requirements. Dick wants 100 Boobies for it, but I think he will settle for a handfull.

Unfortunately my estate does not extend to the length required for the correct aerial and a vertical mast of 350ft might attract unwelcome attention, so perhaps one of our rotary brethren can be prevailed upon to hook the end of the wire and hover at the requisite height during transmission?

perhaps one of our rotary brethren can be prevailed upon to hook the end of the wire and hover at the requisite heightThat would be well beyond the powers of Abdul's mate Tariq, but no problem. I'm still in contact with those funny bunny blokes from Worcestershire and get one of their helo chappies in. They say they have no problem whatsoever with erections when there's boobies to be had.

Governmental Announcement
Scientific Discovery by EF Medic

The Government of Pruneonia is pleased to issue this Statement stating that a member of the Emergency Medical Platoon of our Expeditionary Forces has made a significant scientific discovery.

Whilst performing customary pre-flight medical examination of Goudie this wonderfully gifted Medic determine that Goudie was the closest thing to a human being that has yet been discovered, not human of course but very, very close to it. The Medical Officer in charge of the Medical Platoon stated “Whilst the difference was very small, very small indeed, it was nevertheless significant”

Regrettably, further examination was not possible at the time. The mental nurse assisting with the examination found it necessary to render said Medic unconscious. When later interviewed, she stated that she had little alternative but to intervene when the Medic started to apply an enema consisting of a cup cake, custard, sherry and abanana. When he recovered consciousness, the Medic stated that he was “... just trifling with Goudies a##e”. In a statement, the Medical Officer stated “Trifling with a person’s rear end with trifle was not a trifling matter however trifling the amount of trifle. Lessons will be learnt, procedures will be revised and those responsible for trifling, albeit with a trifling amount of trifle, have been counselled”

During Goudie’s next pre-flight medical check our scientists will penetrate further into the initial discovery.

Given the magnitude of this scientific breakthrough Turbine D has been appointed as Chief Scientific Advisor to the Government and he will supervise this and all other scientific activities. In addition to his well established technical ability Turbine D is, with the able assistance of Madam Airtouch, capable of taking our scientific research into areas of the paranormal.

In recognition of this major scientific discovery, the Government of Pruneonia has appointed Goudie to the position of Minister for Antidiscrimination. In his new capacity Goudie will be expected to champion all minority groups, however small they may be, and to give lectures on PUBES

[thinks, how someone can be “for” and “anti” at the same time is beyond me, but half the plebs/proles can’t read, the other half don’t care and a third are so far out of their minds that only Madam Airtouch can contact them. Thankfully, I was well educated, even if I found fractions a trifle difficult]

End of Statement

================

Private note from the office of SoS for Statements - Vulcanised – please be assured Algernon has no idea what we’re about. I have lately come to the conclusion that the only way any of us can contact Algernon is via Madam Airtouch. Please liaise with Capt Stable re aerial.Please, do remember that only a limited number of proles/plebs are actually permitted to have radios. In respect of those that are so permitted, we only want them to have the perception that we are communicating with them. It would be considered a great success if the helicopter “wandered” around a bit, thereby distorting transmission.

position of Minister for Antidiscrimination. In his new capacity Goudie will be expected to champion all minority groups, however small they may be, and to give lectures on PUBES May I just say what a wonderful choice you have made Slfsfu. As you well know I do try to stand up for the little man and of course all the ladies. I will certainly stiffen their resolve in their attempt to be recognised as equals (well almost) to we more fortunate chaps.
Giving lectures on PUBES sounds a bit hairy but once I've untangled the various aspects of the subject, I will stress the importance of trimming ones assets in keeping with, say, the 'Brazilian model', which was very popular with Fifi (RIP) and her lady friends

Getting a bit tired with checking the boobies,especially those in triplicate. To whom does one apply for a week's holiday?:(

Hey - Slasher - look at the 3rd photo along!

I don't know how a photo of my island retreat, where I'm
currently relaxing after the rigours of my position the last
few weeks, came to being on the web. Must be that damn
Pruneonian paparazzi at it again! Slfsu I want you to talk
to Algernon, Minister for Media & Communication, and have
those paps er...taken away for rehabilitation at our quiet
rest centre atop Mt Gulag.

http://www.boostdam.net/1978/Mauritius/mauritius_l.gif

As can be seen I'm recovering in a simple hut on a simple
beach with a lowly Treasury aide, who I generously brought
along so I can help in the handling of her boobies. And I also
officially wish to state that the cost of this retreat is being
borne not by the Pruneonian taxpayers, but by the selfless
generosity of Slfsu, as well as his transportation of the aide
and I aboard his Lear Jet. This is not in any way a payback
of my appointing him recently as Inner Party powerbroker
- he obtained that position by his own ability and talent.

I shall return once I am well rested and have handled the
Treasury aide's boobies enough to my satisfaction. In the
meantime Slfsu will be the mainstay of government and
continue the Mt Gulag Rehabilitation Program, for Proles
who at any time question our integrity and commitment
to the social justice and equality of Pruneonia, under the
watchful care of our esteemed brain surgeons.

Ignore the right third and top third of this map (http://www.pat-jodee.com/Cyprus/cyprus_map.jpg).

That's my current location, without being too precise (I do want to preserve my privacy sometimes :bored:), currently living in what feels like a building site, windswept, driving rain, mud everywhere, kitchen out of service the past two days, frequently no electricity for hours on end due unreliable gennies, no women better looking or less hairy than Zorba the Greek, lots of very strange men, bugger all alcohol, an internet connection that runs about the speed of a snail on valium, and that's my life at the moment.

And Slasher has the nerve to post photos of his location and the Grade 4 admin assistant? :mad: :* :ugh:

ABDUL!!!! Round up the boys! We've got a job to do!!

You'll be pleased to hear that my defection to Mauritius is going very well.

I have briefed those nice MI 6 chaps about all the corruption in Prunonia, and they appeared to take it very seriously, although as Slasher's photo shows, there are some distractions here.

MI 6 were very grateful for Slasher's donation of a Lear jet for their comfort, but were very unhappy about the lack of Puligny Montrachet on board.

If MI 6 do come and get you in the middle of the night, this week's password is "Edballsis mad"

Capt Stable – May I respectfullyy reminder you, sir, who it was that appointed the Col in Chief of those boys with sandy brown beret’s (that you clearly so admire) and to whom they all report. Your services to date (in particular those involving helicopters) have been exemplarily but it would be, shall we say, “unwise” of you assign unto Abdul any tasks for which his particular skills are suited, without the express permission of Sasher PM or his appointed delegate. I trust you take my meaning, dear heart, it would indeed be such a shame should one, showing so much promise, be lost to Government, through some most unfortunate accident, possibly involving a helicopter :E.

I suggest that you confine yourself to implementing, forthwith, the duties allocated to you pursuant to my following note to Slasher PM.

Slasher PM - My dear Prime Minister, it is so gratifying that one such as I who (in comparison to your good self) is nought but a fly speck on the windscreen of life, has been able to offer such meagre assistance to you and your Treasury aide. Should you desire any other luxu...(sorry necessities of life) please ensure that they are charged to the Boobies card that I enclose herewith. I also hold in my hands a small number of boobies in triplicate that can be made available to you, should you so require.

Capt Stable has been instructed, with immediate effect, to take care of the Paparazzi. Algernon is, I’m afraid a lost cause :( and, once a suitable replacement has been identified, Algernon will be assigned to training as a helicopter pilot, either in mid-Wales or that small island off its NW Coast.

Goudie I’m (sorry Slasher PM is) confident that you will apply yourself diligently to the task assigned to you and that you will provide valuable “service”:ok: to all minority groups including, in particular and in keeping with our Governmental ethos, those who can offer large handfuls of Boobies.

Crippen - your ability to overlook the most fundamental aspects of Government is indeed staggering, sir, and most worthy of your governmental position. As previously mentioned, this ability speaks well for your future rise to high office.

Sunshine, one does not take “a week’s holidays” when one is a Government Minister. Leave your chair for two days and, before you know it, some other f###wit will be calling it his own:uhoh:. No good sir, one goes on “fact finding missions”, “trade delegations”, or “Aid Visits” (particularly when visiting such places as Mauritius or Bora Bora) - please ensure that you arv accompanied by a suitable quantum of aides with handfuls of Boobies.

Nor does one “apply”. You just go. Any such “application” would, firstly, acknowledge that one has superiors (which acknowledgment must be avoided at all cost) and, secondly, indicate to all and sundry that you are away from your office, ergo after two days you’re chair is gone. Absent any communication, we shall assume that you are on government business, in some impoverished country of course, with an inability to contact us. Rest assured, Government shall continue, proles will gainfully employed and your fellow Ministers will continue to handle handfuls of Boobies.

Slsfu, I most certainly do take your meaning, load and clear.

While I have been - let us say - inactive in the defence of our new country, I took the opportunity to have a bit of a tidy up here. What do you suppose I managed to find? :cool: A whole pile of photographs that I never knew I had! What a stroke of luck - and while we're talking about strokes of luck, therein there are several of someone - it's slightly difficult to tell who - posing in most interesting positions with a couple of matelots! The visual effect is really quite aesthetic in a sort of preHefneresque manner. :eek:

The whole collection (keeping a few back in case the first are - um - lost) is in the process of being digitised and enhance - although one of the seamen needs no enhancement at all - and I have every confidence we will soon be able to tell the identity of the Minister - I mean, of course, the person - enjoying the hospitality of those rather well-muscled seafarers. :ok:

Oh, by the way - did I forget to tell you? Most sorry - the helo in which one or two people have met with - errr - unfortunate accidents due to inadequate maintenance on the seatbelt system has been purchased by your present correspondent as unfit for service with the boys from Worcestershire, and I took the opportunity to offer a few of them jobs with my - I'm sorry - OUR glorious security services. Several have gladly accepted, and now look to me with much gratitude as their new commander and the man who liberated them from service to a feudal monarchy that failed to furnish them with good homes, pension, BluRay players and access to Dominos Pizzas.

I suspect that I shall have to find employment for them, as they tend to get slightly itchy if sat around for too long with little to do...

SLFSFU:-

Thanks for the above help.


I wish to inform you therefore that I am on a fact finding tour in Distant Lands,to wit Siam. A full team of advisers have travelled with me.We are looking into rumours that many of the natives not only have triplicate boobies fitted,but also have meat and two veg. as well.This of course contravines Prunopean Exchange Regulations as well as restrictions on fruit and vegetable uses. A full report on the findings will be forwarded to the Prunopean Authorthorthorities within the next few months(when I find my reading glasses wot I lost whilst doing a close inspection.) :uhoh:

Mr Crippen

As Minister For Silly Walks, may one suggest the compulsory wearing of undies on the head by all subj... errr, citizens in future to avoid any confusion involving meat and two veg when in pursuit of boobies.

AO – tks for the password, I presume the challenge will be “What are your considered opinion of Nu-Lab.. (sorry, Labours) economic policies and do you think they will stimulate growth”. Anyway I’ll ensure that only those who need to know know. Just a very select few:E.

Delighted that you’re enjoying Mauritus.

Private note from Inner Party Power Broker to Slasher PM - I’m pleased to report that the CiC of the sandy beret boys has implemented my (sorry, your) idea. Under cover of the sale of a helicopter, two of his lads are, shall we say, “in field”. Regular reports are being received from the usual “drop off” (aka Slack Sally’s Ecole pour jeune fillies – boys section).

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? – we know, we know exactly :E

This chap Stable shows great resourcefulness and will one day make a great leader but, of course, that time is many years away. His road will be long and, occasionally, we shall no doubt have to inflict some pain but, lessons will be learnt and his knowledge and understanding will grow. In time he will thank me (sorry, you).

My esteemed leader, is Storminnorn making progress with his invati...(sorry annexation) plans. Whilst appreciating that I don't need to know the detail, an outline would enable me to ensure that my Ministry is ready to issue any Statements

Crippen – good man, that’s the ticket. I look (sorry Slasher PM looks) forward to receiving your report which, I sincerely trust, will be reflective of your undoubted disorganisational skills. Now, don’t spare the Boobies and go at it. I'm confident that you'll keep your end up. :ok: [thinks, it's all about confidence. Not that that chap Stable needs any more confidence. A bit full of himself but it will be a pleaseure to teach him what real POWER is all about.

SRT – a most welcome suggestion but pray, sir, does this fall within the purview of Silly Walks I ask. You may wish to consider the policy of “one wellie, one sandal” (I would have suggested the “two feet in one wellie”, but fear it would impede the proles in their labours). The nickers on head has merit, suggets you hand that project to Crippen, when he returns.

Dear Abdul,

Rupert tells me that he was approached to pass on to the PM what we're up to, but that he knows which side his bread is buttered and he'll pass on all his instructions straight to us. A little test or two of his faithfulness from time to time would be a useful means of guarding our backs, I think.

Please tell Ahmed, Tariq and Mustafa that Rupert, Nigel and Henry are, basically on our side and not to tease them about their names too much. Crusher, Basher and Tosh aren't as thick as they look, either, so don't try playing poker with them too often, eh?

The box removed from the helo turned out to be a trace transmitter. Could you please stick it in the bottom of the PM's bag when you see him? I'm sure the Minister for Communication would be quite bemused! Shukhran old buddy.

Thanks for your note confirming you've got that bloke from News of the World to hack into his mobile phone. And well done on those new photos - it pays to keep up to date!

Give my best to Fatima, Alima, Zahra and Sheherazade and that other one - your new wife - what was her name? Have you got any further with blockbooking places at Eton? It'll take a bit of dosh to educate 28 offspring, me old mate... Not to mention Oxford and Sandhust. But we'll have no problem with that when we've sorted out that one bad apple, insha'allah, eh? You've already got boobies galore - just need a few more.

Dear Slfsfu,

It has come to my notice that Abdul's youngest nephew, Hamid, last night with a couple of his mates raided the Co-Op Bank in Lanbuggerit and managed to liberate 5 boobies (it would have been 6 but the docs had already had a cutting-out operation).

Doesn't it make you proud? I mean, the kid's only 12 years old, but already he's following in his father's and uncles' footsteps! Bless! Fair brought tears to my eyes!

I was slightly less pleased to hear that they'd also raided the newsagent next door and liberated 78 bags of Haribos and 5 Toblerones. I normally go in there for my morning newspaper, and I'm not sure how I'll show my face...

With all due respect to you,

Capt. Stable
Minister for State Security (Province) and First Minister.

I'm desperately sorry to report that Slasher has joined me in defecting and abdicating.

it must have been those Mauritian temptations - not to mention the MI6 dollybirds.....

No, the word is defecting, not defecating.....

Capt Stable – Salaam ali-kum, keif ahlaq, zain?
Shway, shway, stana shway my young friend. Abdul’s father and I go back many years, well before the revolution in his country. The one that allowed him to take office and, indeed, send Abdul to Oxford and Sandhust. I’m so glad that Abdul is planning the same for his children. By the way, his new wife is Aysha, (just thought I’d let you know), such a lovely girl. Did you know that she’s the daughter of Abdul bin Aziz al Yassin, such a lovely chap and so well connected (on both sides of the street shall we say). I did mention that I was at their wedding didn’t I, most remiss if I failed to mention it, sorry. Oh, you might ask Abdul about the time I took him out to shoot his first gazelle, my, we did have such fun on that trip.

Now, why don’t we put away all of this shall we say “unpleasantness” to one side – so much like “willy waving” don’t y’ know. I’m concerned about KnC – no word from him since the untimely end of Upper Air. It would be appreciated if you could get your boys to take a look around. Nothing precipitate, of course, just look around and, if your boys find him, keep an eye on him and ask them to report back. Could you get your boys to do this, I trust Abdul and would be pleased for him the be section head.

If I might council patience young Stable , watch, listen and serve and, in the fullness of time, when the runes decree, etc., etc..... I’m confident that you will get all the rewards that your efforts will, undoubtedly deserve

Capt Slasher – If you would be so kind, please tell Abdul that “Ithnain abu Abdul” conveys his great friendship to his favourite son of Ahmed bin Abdullah. One day soon, we shall again ride together as the sun sets over Mawasat and then we shall count the stars and wonder at their glory. Thank you dear Slasher, the thought of young Adbul brings back many happy memories.

News of my defection and abdication is highly exaggerated.

The source was my Treasury aide, who apparently leaked it to
a nosy MI6 chappie over a bad cellphone connection when he
called and asked what I was doing at that moment. I was
certainly not "defecting and abdicating" at the time but was
defacating and masturbating in the ensuite. After hanging up
she asked me to come out and handle her boobies instead.

AO please check your sources before publicising anything,
or I will cancel your boobie credit there at the La Perogue
gambling tables in Curepipe and you'll have to make do
with the cheaper local rupees.

Slfsu - will do.

If we are to make anything of ourselves, we must trade with others. That is why I am launching the Prunopia International Marketing Plan.

Get out there in the marketplace! Become a PIMP and get the Boobies bouncing!

In order that the best salesman will be recognised I have also created the Prunopia Order of eXcellence. The winner will be given the POX.

As your esteemed PM I think I should automatically get the
POX by default.

My Treasury aide recently picked up the POX herself (and she's
only an Grade 4 admin assistant) so she will no doubt pass it
on to me in time.

I also feel that Slfsu, crippen and goudie should get the POX
straight from Queen OFSO without hesitation.

An everlasting POX on you all gentlemen - I know you'll be all
itching to get it.

Slasher PM – my most heartfelt thanks for your kind generosity. The honour bestowed on me, your most humble and unworthy servant, that Her Majesty should personally give me the POX. Truly words fail me [thinks, your f###’ing right words fail, how the f##k can I get out of this. Where’s that fellow Stable when you most need him. POX administered by OFSO I can do without, now some admin assistant with handfuls of Boobies, that sir, would be a different matter]

Private note to Vulcanised – sunshine, please concentrate on your PUBES for f##s sake. Whilst fully appreciative of your undoubted enthusiasm, should you have any further ideas please let me know of them in advance. This talk of PIMPS is excellent but you see what has happened with the POX.

Slasher PM, in whose glory we all bask, is given his POX by a (no doubt )nubile admin assistant with, I would suspect, more than “standard” Boobies whilst Goudie, Crippen and I are given the POX by none other than Her Majesty Queen OFSO. Now it is not for me of course, any honour bestowed by HRH is, for me, honour enough in itself but, poor Goudie think of Goudie. [ thinks, if this f##ing idiot comes up with any more ideas that result in me being “bestowed” by HRH he’ll never see his beloved PUBES again, and, for him, willy waving will be a long lost and much missed pleasure]

Salaam ali-kum, keif ahlaq, zain?Aleikum as-salaam, Al-hamdul'illah, shukhran.

Yes, Abdul did mention about the gazelle. He also mentioned that shooting one of the camels was not your most glorious moment... Oh, and coming to the wedding with a concealed hipflask and then getting a little tired and emotional and propositioning Hashim's elderly auntie was not exactly high class, either. One way and another, you're not quite persona grata with most of the family, old chap - they look darkly and make hand signs when your name is mentioned... :uhoh:

As for KnC, there's no need whatsoever to go and look for him. I'm always on top of the intelligence issues around. One of my girls spotted him a while ago hanging out in "Daisy's Massage Parlour" (Motto:- We handle our customers with care boyo) in downtown Llanbuggerit. We are keeping an eye on him and Daisy (one of my most useful operatives, so well endowed in the booby department) says that if he tries it on with Councillor Davies again she'll have to have words. She's already stopped his Bacardi ration, and is watering his Campari even now.

I almost forgot - I have wonderful news to report!

One of my patrols out on the Beacons took a wrong turning on the way back (I will keep warning them about reading the instructions for the GPS) and down a little lane they spotted something under a tarpaulin in a field. What do you suppose it was? An armoured vehicle! Tracked! In beautiful condition!!!! The only slight problem is that the colour is a tad alarming. But we can sort that out. Ali has a mate "Jones the Paint" who can source almost anything.

Capt Stable – Allah kareem, my young friend, might I suggest that we retain the tracked vehicle as our own “reserve” shall we say. Shukhrain .

As for Hashim’s elderly auntie, the lad was only six so “elderly” is a relative term, so to speak. Lovely girl and so good at dancing with the veils. I do, though, confess to being a little tired and emotional. Indeed as I recall all three of us, Ahmed, Abdul bin Aziz and I were all a little tired and emotional. Felt exactly the same on the occasion of that most unfortunate incident with the camel, one of Ahmed’s favourites’. The only good news was that the injury was not critical, my aim being somewhat impaired by tiredness.

Anyway to affairs of state, I‘m delighted with the news on KnC, I was confident that you’d stay on top of your intelligence girls. It might be a good idea to tell Daisy to afford KnC all that he requires, restore his Bacardi privileges and have the boys with the cameras handy, particularly if Councillor Davies is around. Whilst I have every confidence in KnC some "insurance" may nevertheless be appropriate.

Please be advised that I may, on occasions be out of pocket, certain half-lings from HRH’s office are trying to arrange an appointment when she might bestow the POX :ooh:, so I’m trying to keep a low profile.

Perhaps the POX might become a Doctorate to be bestowed by the Prunopia University?

Then, any deputies hired by holders would be known as POX Doctor's Assistant.

Excellent idea!

I have an idea for the suitable academic dress.

The Hood shall be mid brown with a pink lining, bordered all in white.
http://www.mykonosphotographs.com/temp/PDhood.jpg

How's that? :\

Vulcanised – ideas such as that will ensure that the POX is bestowed upon you by no lesser person than HRH Queen OFSO, herself.

Capt Stable – your addendum is noted (no, no not that “addendum” – what I meant was your addendum to Vulcanised suggestion).

[thinks, I’m beginning to understand the Fall of the Roman Empire and the demise of the British Empire. Conquest (sorry Annexation), rape, pillage and the acquisition of Boobies gets forgotten in the pursuit of Government itself. We must get back on track – we need our EF out in the field invad..(sorry annexing). We need Storminorm planning and executing annexations. We need our great leaders, Slasher PM and HRH Queen OFSO, to lead us to handfuls of Boobies]

Hmmm - an afterthought - should academic dress also include a ceremonial codpiece? (or G-String for female members of the order?)

HRH Queen OFSO, to lead us to handfuls of Boobies]

Is it not time that we had a statement from our glorious Queen OFSO, with regard to her recent visit to Luxembourg?
Personally, I'm down to my last handful of Boobies since my last set of expenses was rejected. Something to do with a, perfectly legitimate, claim for my Swedish housemaid to accompany me on a fact finding tour of the Seychelles. Off to the pub now, to see if the barmaid will let me get me hands on a couple of Boobies, she's got stashed away.

Goudie – Whilst no statement will be issued stating that an error has occured, rest assured lessons have be learnt, procedures have been revised and those responsible have been counselled:E. Please resubmit you expenses, they will be paid:ok:.

May I also suggest that in future you request an advance of Boobies. Having Boobies in hand in advance of your travels should prevent any shortage occurring. Of course said advance needs to be accounted for, but by careful manipulation of the Boobies that you have in hand , you should be able to milk the system (sorry about that, I know, but it did fit in – No, I didn’t mean fit that in Goudie)

Good luck with the bar maid

The Comptroller of the Royal Household informs the citizens of PRuNe that HRH Queen OFSO has requested that the following statement be published.

From March 31st to April 3rd one participated in a state visit to the Royal Duchy of Luxembourg, a most pleasant and charming city occupied by polite and civilised people.

Among other events one attended a conference on international jurisprudence, discussed investment of the Funds of Pruneonia in a numbered account, and on Saturday evening "out on the town" as one has heard it referred to, were served a lobster which was definitely not the one shown live to one's consort before the meal, nor did it weigh the price charged (although by then one's consort had consumed it so it was difficult if not impossible to prove this assertation). Furthermore one's consort said what turned up on her plate had one claw missing, whereas the live one paraded beforehand had the usual number, i.e. two. One complained to the manager, who told the waiter, who searched the kitchen for the claw but it could not be found. "Sometimes" he said with a very gallic shrug "zees zings happen. You know how eet is."

Luckily the Funds of Pruneonia had not been invested at this point in time so one was able to support the unexpected expense when the bill arrived. One told one's consort that it served them right for eating live multi-legged things.

One also attended three state lunches and dinners at which one met some absolutely charming officals who were a credit to Luxembourg: and which said lunches and dinners were most rewarding and at which an abundance of excellent food and some most agreeable wines were served; one has now returned home utterly knackered by the most generous hospitality shown one..... one is sorry, one'll read that again, one is relaxing in the pleasure of one's own palacial residence in Catalunia.

Good wishes to all one's subjects, no matter what their sexual persuasion and may you all be so fortunate (and if you chose to dine al fresco in the main square, don't eat the Luxembourg Lobster if you also have to pay the bill. In fact if it has a bill it's a duck not a lobster, but one digresses).

Bless you all.

Does this mean that Abdul's wives are no longer allowed to carry his baggage around? And if not them, what about the fleet of Toyota 4x4s? Not to mention the camels (which I think are learning to spit in Welsh, and I'd be happy to see the back of, personally).

Airship – sorry no cash available all traded on ForX for handfuls of Boobies. Current rate is about US$1mm for pair boobies. That’s it I’m afraid, take it or leave it.

Capt Stable, Pruneonia is an equal opportunity state, Abdul may use his wife for 50% of the time at which point he must pass his wife over to someone else, who may immediately use her for 50% of his time, whereupon back to Abdul etc., etc..

SLFSFU about to head to southern climes on a “Cultural Visit” [thinks everywhere is “southern climes” from here, we only have Orkneys, Shetland, Norway and the Arctic to the North plus of course Peterhead!!:ooh:]. I shall be visiting an underdeveloped nation so communication may be intermittent. I trust that during my absence there will be much inva...(sorry, annexing) and acquisition of many handfuls of Boobies:ok:.

I'm a bit snowed under with paperwork at the moment.

This, for example - I mean, FFS, I only bought two!!!:-

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1.
□ Mr.
□ Mrs.
□ Ms.
□ Miss
□ Lt.
□ Gen.
□ Comrade
□ Classified
□ Other

First Name: ..............................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ............................
Password: .................(max. 8 char)
Code Name: ..............................
Latitude-Longitude Altitude: ....... ......

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
□ F-14 Tomcat
□ F-16 Falcon
□ F-15 Eagle
□ F-117A Stealth
□ Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /....... /......

4. Serial Number: .......................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
□ Received as gift / aid package
□ Catalogue / showroom
□ Independent arms broker
□ Mail order
□ Discount store
□ Government surplus
□ Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
□ Heard loud noise, looked up
□ Store display
□ Political lobbying by manufacturer
□ Espionage
□ Was attacked by one
□ Recommended by friend/relative/ally

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
□ Style / appearance
□ Speed / manoeuvrability
□ Price / value
□ Comfort / convenience
□ Kickback / bribe
□ Recommended by salesperson
□ McDonnell Douglas reputation
□ Advanced Weapons Systems
□ Previous user
□ Backroom politics
□ Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
□ North America
□ Middle East (not Iraq)
□ Iraq
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□ Iraq
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□ Europe
□ Africa
□ Iraq
□ Aircraft carrier
□ Iraq
□ Classified

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
□ Colour TV
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10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?
(Indicate all that apply)
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11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
□ Deficit spending
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12. Your occupation:
□ Homemaker
□ Sales / marketing
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Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

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Does the recent lack of contributions mean that everyone has defected?

.....Or maybe you've found how to have that lobotomy reversed?

As for myself, I'm going into the slightly sub-legal arms trade business.

Anything from a single AK47 or RPG to MLRS, main battle tanks or a couple of destroyers (engines extra; no warranty whatsoever as to serviceability upon delivery; contents may have settled in transit; cover picture shows only a serving suggestion and gives no guarantee as to appearance of the product; observe "best before" dates on underside of package).

The Comptroller of the Royal Household informs the citizens of PRuNe that HRH Queen OFSO has requested that the following statement be published.

Following receipt of a grant of fifty million pounds (shortly to be converted to Boobies) made by the Right Honourable David Cameron M.P. (Cons) towards building schools, furnishing them, hiring teachers and the like in Pruneonia, One would like to announce that these funds have been deposited in a newly created offshore investment facility, to whit the GOSS BANK (Goudie OFSO Slfslu Stable Bank) of Greater Pruneonia, where they will await the acquisition of territory on which to build the bank, or at least the minimum office with desk, telephone, filing cabinet and blond large-busted dim-witted secretary to provide the Annual Statement*.

You've all done Jolly Well.


* Believed to be not unakin to "ooh ! aaah ! not so fast !"

.....er, she only does it once a year? ...............I hope you didn't swap any other boobies for that performance.

the minimum office with desk, telephone, filing cabinet and blond large-busted dim-witted secretary to provide the Annual StatementI think I've identified one of those requirements.

Samantha says she's very willing indeed to help out. Strictly speaking, her contract doesn't cover it, and by asking her to have an unpaid poke amongst the filing cabinets I might have put her in an awkward position, but she didn't mind.

When the Bank has a Board Meeting I must, as senior/oldest member, insist that Samantha sits on my right hand!

There are those who take the mickey out of her - she gets lots of people imagining that because she's a busty blonde, she's basically stupid. This annoys me intensely. Samantha tells me to ignore the pokes she gets, but it's not easy to ignore her knockers.

One trusts the Samantha in question is not one (or possibly both) of these divine young ladies ?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNYTuHdWCCA

Might I express a little concern about our Government?

I know I've defected, so cannot read our internal mail system, but shouldn't someone be saying something about that invasion last Friday?

The Comptroller of the Royal Household informs the citizens of PRuNe that HRH Queen OFSO has requested that the following statement be published.

One would like it to be known that one did not invade anywhere last Friday. It was Monday, not Friday, and the disgraceful scenes outside the Hotel Salins as Queen OFSO left with her First Minister will not be repeated, at last not this week, anyway.

You've all done very well......

Lessons need to be learnt

The pprunonia Motorway, the P1, has been closed these last 5 days. No-one seems to know how to re-open it. Would someone in the Government please act, and we need one of those "lessons will be learnt" statements sharpish.

Please can I be "minister for executing anyone who uses PDF for lists that would be better if they were put into XLS or DBF or WORD or frankly any other flaming file format other than PDF"

ummmm would bribery err, sorry "a small donation to charity" help with my appointment?

Thanks

Ancient Observer:

The Comptroller of the Royal Household informs the citizens of PRuNe that HRH Queen OFSO has requested that the following statement be published.

All motorways, P or otherwise, will be replaced by overhead cableways from which will be suspended cabins with capacity ranging in size from single to twenty persons. They are much nicer than roads, and ecologically sound, and well....fun.

Could this be the origin of our currency ?

http://i656.photobucket.com/albums/uu287/ROBIN_100/1_multipart.jpg

Rough technical drawing of the original design I believe, yer Royal Queenship.

The Comptroller of the Royal Household informs the citizens of PRuNe that HRH Queen OFSO has requested that the following statement be published.

In order to inform those citizens about the availability of PPRuNe and Pruneonia baseball caps in response to a thread which has been closed: the Catalan marina town of Empuriabrava has several "tourist" shops with machines which can stitch any symbol of one's choice onto the front of a baseball cap.

Walking a few paces further on one can stop at the Monster Rat supermarket and buy aluminum foil with which to line such baseball caps.

For older members of PPrUne and citizens of Pruneonia, earthing wire (yellow-and-green, 1.5mm) to afix to the aluminum foil and allow to trail behind one to disperse the harmful radiations(s) is also available.