How to deal with the crew room whiner?

[cool_for_cats]

I appeal to all fellow military aircrew,

We all have our crew-room whiners, particularly I am dealing with the;

[[I don't do very much work but I am going to whine about how many hours other guys in my cohort are getting to the point where I am given their flights guy]]

In posting this my hope is to unearth some amusing means by which members of PPRuNe suggest to deal with such a problem child at an appropriate level and in a humorous manner.

Note that in your no doubt amusing replies that this is not merely an individual opinion of said character, it is a mutually shared view between all of the lads, who may receive an anonymous link to this thread sometime in the near future...

Thanks in advance,

Cool_for_cats:cool:

[Dengue_Dude]

Parliament

[forget]

Aren't you supposed to be working?

[The Old Fat One]

Mate,

If the guy/girl is that bad speak to them face to face. Your proposed solution is somewhat lacking in moral courage.

[sisemen]

Leave a loaded 9mm on the coffee table and everyone except him leave.

[FantomZorbin]

"I say, I say, I say
What's the difference between Joe Bloggs and a photograph of Joe Bloggs? .................................. Only the photograph is fully developed."

It worked with the Joe Bloggs in our Crew Room!:E

[racedo]

http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/442535-ultimate-put-downs.html

Yes I know its sacrilege to use, utter, write or even mention Jet Ballast within the Military Aircrew forum (fights have been started over less :E), apologies in advance. However surely there is something within that thread which is of use !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Airborne Aircrew]

Cool for cats:

Quit whining and knuckle down... Suck it up and be a man... God, I hate whiners...

[Mad_Mark]

How about a simple little..

"Shut the f**k up and stop your f**king whining you annoying little prick!" :eek:

MadMark!!! :mad:

[teeteringhead]

Does the crewroom not have windows.........:E

[Wensleydale]

Put in an application for pilot for him.....

[petetheplane]

Where is "Really Annoyed" when you need him the most............. ?

[GreenKnight121]

Throw him a "Blanket Party".

What's that you say... not funny?

It is to some.

Used most often to "encourage" a screw up to mend his ways. While sleeping his platoon mates would sneak up on him or her, cover them with a blanket and administer numerous blows to the writhing mass.

Unofficial, Unabridged Dictionary For Marines - An attempt to capture the lexicon of the United States Marine Corps (http://4mermarine.com/USMC/dictionary/b.html)

[cool_for_cats]

Some good suggestions, rest assured to the skeptical my pursuit of new ideas on this forum is undertaken out of work hours and I have indeed attempted the direct and public "shut the f**k up etc... style response with this whiner (please no more snide comments there fat old crab-this post is for humorous options, keep it light), just seems to have nil effect. Unfortunately we are all pilots, perhaps a pre-filled application to transfer to self loading baggage due capacity issues would hit the spot!

Thanks again for all responses thus far!

One of the lads found a good one, I will share it here [Engines and 'NAME' whine like milk-starved kittens and that fact simply won't change].

[The Old Fat One]

please no more snide comments there fat old crab-this post is for humorous options, keep it light


Oh we love to keep it light....

I therefore apologise unreservedly for the directness of my original reply....

...it's just that when dealing with colonial's from the southern hemisphere I've always found their lack of education and cultural depth prevents them from properly comprehending wit, pathos and irony.

Fosters...good call.

Toodle pip

[MrPVRd]

Easy lesson for annoying whiners and prima-donnas.

Play a practical joke on them, to bring them down to earth. Fake posting notice (can this be done any more on JPA?), re-jigged orderly officer roster with their name down for every weekend, or a made-up secondary duty.

Watch them explode and then have a good laugh.

[Old-Duffer]

As you are in Australia, I would have thought an imputation that your whiner is actually English, born of English stock or often mistaken for English by others around you, might have had some impact.

Perhaps; " I say, I say, what carries on whining after the engine's been shut down? named person".

O-D

[A A Gruntpuddock]

When working om site the chainman was supplied by the contractor. He became increasingly impertinent (cheeky, reading through private files, etc) so I waited until I heard him creeping into the next office to do a bit of eavesdropping. I then made a fictitious phone call to head office. Said that we had given him every chance to straighten up but we really would have to be looking for a replacement and so on. Ten minutes later he came in all osbequious, asked if I wanted a cup of tea, car washed or anything at all? Kept him quiet for a couple of weeks. Let your whiner 'accidentally' overhear something and he will believe it.

[JTIDS]

Put the whiner on guard commander for a month.

[RedhillPhil]

Not forces but we had a whining barsteward who just never stopped. He finally took the hint when we tried to sell him on E-bay. (we actually got two bids before the plug was pulled.)

[blackwithwhitestripe]

If you put as much work into your flying as you do your whinging you might achieve average in the air this year or alternatively there are perfectly good people going redundant where is the justice in that!!! ( combined with a huge glare ).

[Not Long Here]

Don't honestly see any solution to this problem. If the miscreant is a Pom then you are stuck with it, if he's an Aussie - well,:} guess that is just a national trait.

Regards

A Scottish Kiwi

[gijoe]

Punch him and tell him to shut up!

[adr]

How about a new safety sign?

-----
[hazard pictogram]

Loud and persistent whine

[ear defenders pictogram]

Wear ear defenders when the illustrated equipment is energised.

[photo of crew room whiner]
-----

Not that I've any confidence it'll work, but the method that does work isn't that humourous.

adr

[hanoijane]

Superglue his visor in the raised position.

It worked when it happened to me. Never moaned since.

[tommee_hawk]

Promote him, like the RAF normally do. :)