Nimrod War Stories

[camelspyyder]

Since all of the MR2 and MRA4 threads are so depressing, I would like to invite kipper fleet young and old to entertain us for with their, hopefully endless, fund of amusing stories, and perhaps answer some of the age-old questions - such as:

How did the cat really die in Gibraltar?

Who put the donkey in the pool at the Baia Verde?

Did the co-pilot whose Renault was crushed by a tank outside CXX know it was going to happen?

Who repainted 120 Sqn's roof to read CXXTS?


I hope it will be more amusing than reading about the scapping of each individual frame over the next few weeks...


CS:)

[Miles Magister]

All except the last incident were by the same rouges. Best not to name names as they are in responsible positions now.

[biddedout]

So one of them will be JJ then.

[Miles Magister]

No all happened before he arrived as a young co-pilot

[AR1]

I'd be interested in hearing the definitive 'Fablon Map' descent story. Fair isle wasn't it?

[fincastle84]

In the 80s a certain USN exchange pilot joined the mile high club whilst on a night training sortie in D 001.

He'd brought his latest crush along for a famil sortie. After 2 hours Stage 2 we climbed to 6,000 ft for a 20 minute coffee break before commencing radar homings. The rear galley door was firmly shut.

[Pontius Navigator]

Then there was Bas Heath in the 70s and 80s, bounced Mess Bills at every station he 'visited'. Bas existed only as a velcroed name badge but that was enough to create a 'legend' in his own time.

[The Old Fat One]

Who repainted 120 Sqn's roof to read CXXTS?


Two pilots on 206. Don't have the authority to out them.

Time for a few Samantha stories.... come in F84

(for those that never experienced the RAF before political correctness, all the Samantha stories are true and the photo's exist to prove it)

Personally I've always wanted to know about the Christmas party GW1. The one where the christmas tree was decorated with nurses "webbing".

Personal favourite...the flight sergeant lead dry who tried to arrest the huge brute pongo in the Montaric in Gib. Ouch.

And on the same theme, the AEO who took on the Foreign Legion chap in Nimes (ouch squared).

[grizz]

The said co pilot, (now a skipper with CX) I believe had no idea what was going to happen to his car. He was having trouble selling it, so we thought a bit of help was needed to help him get rid of it. I remember the Scimitar? had trouble going over the car so we enlisted the help of some siggies from the crew to act as "chocks" while the tank ran over it . We got a b********g from the staish as we ended up setting fire to it, which tied up a couple of fire appliances which did not go down too well! Shortly afterwards the Capt of the crew and myself were in front of the Boss to be told we were no longer allowed to fly together as his, the Boss's, career wouldn't stand it!
Happy Days;)

[pitotheat]

What about when a not very popular Sqn boss dropped his kit bag off at the bottom of the steps and told a passing irk to make sure it got aboard. The said irk suffered from mild memory loss. On arrival, I think it was a RP, said boss went ballistic after figuring out kit bag still at ISK. Now that is what you call leadership.

[Hoots]

The AEO in Nimes didn't start the foreign legion incident, all I did was chat to an Egyptian legionnaire about football, Rangers and Marseille European cup 93, and it all kicked off, 4 of us got a bit of a beating and never felt any pain, but couldn't stop laughing about it. The legionnaire that started it was in full uniform and I never managed to pick up my baguette that littered the pavement after I was punched. Happy days

[retrosgone]

In fact, one of the CXX roof painters was a red-headed Nav and former dentist. Bob Joseph, who was then OC206 helped deflect some of the ire by pointing out that. as 120 had recently won an award for tactical excellence, the new roof was an homage to CXX Tactical Sword, and not in any way an insult.

[Biggus]

So is the Nimrod going to actually figure in any way in any of these stories, or are they just wizard wheezes from the past that could apply to any fleet but just happen to be from Nimrod dudes?



Are any of them going to be less than 20 (30 in PNs case) years old - ok, I'll give you that 1993ish (the European cup story) was only 18 years ago...

[davejb]

There must be many versions of the story where you dropped from the skies with throttles back, everything hanging out, as quiet as a (noisy) mouse, then clean up and see if there isn't really an afterburner setting half an inch past the throttle stops....

CXX/6 did it over a parade in Greece, after 30 mins or so doing a '12 O'Clock High' impression dodging Greek fighters that were allegedly attempting some sort of formation flypast of said parade.

From the port beam it looked like we'd have caused less carnage had we dropped 500 lb bombs.

Jax - Dirty Harry's nightclub. A railed sort of verandah.... lean on it for more than 5 seconds and the result would be a 'my ankles have been gripped' sensation, a touch of acrobatics, and if you were lucky you didn't land on a glass on the table you'd just become an overly large drinks mat on. One night about 8 of our crew went through that in rapid succession - I always blamed the AEO. (Who decorated the outside of the minivan haflway from Daytona to Disney at about 40 mph).

Lingerie show in the Holiday Inn (a regular event), young ladies quite pleased by Nav Captain crying 'soooooot' as they went past, imagining it to be a cry of approbation... until he explained it was the final part of a cry that - in its complete version - went 'Tit sooooooot'. (Without the space. Admittedly an oddly Scottish sounding cry for a devout yorkshireman).

USN, Springtrain (I think) in the early 80's, USN asks Nimrod on surpic type task to on top the enemy group to aid targetting solution. Al B**e, yet another Nav Captain, eventually gets onto the radio in person to say 'this is the Royal Air Force, not the Japanese Kamikaze bloody airforce, I suggest if you want somebody to on top the enemy group you send for a P3'.

Pretty much on the same topic (ie "How, as a Flt lt Captain, you might address those of star rank") off Ascension as the fleet came by, explaining to the Admiral how he should land his helos, point out to sea, and **** off in fine pitch and leave the Nimrod to settle his 'possible sub sighting' issue. Well, he put it a bit more politely, but not much. (According to the callsign it WAS the Admiral he was talking to).

Baia Verde - there was another hotel up a sort of side road up the hill, can't recall the name, but they had a heck of a cable feed in the early hours of the morning that I discovered quite by chance....Also interesting characters in the bar who came in with two minders and had camel hair coats draped over their shoulders. It was like being an extra in the Godfather some nights when you stopped off at the bar<g>

Didn't do Piper Alpha, but we did fly on Alexander Kielland - an accomodation rig that capsized when a leg broke off. I would dearly love to have the power to wind time back and stop it happening, but as the 2nd crew on we were busy as hell all night and, as far as I can tell, rarely put a foot wrong. There's a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that your crew all pulled together and did a sterling job. This gave a fairly rare sense of satisfaction, the 6 hr crew trainers didn't produce anything like the same (apologies to all my AEOs who thought they'd come up with devilish scenarios to explain another 4 hrs of ACT), but just now and again you flew an important mission and knew you'd done a good job, and it felt fantastic. Got the same buzz from Airde Whyte and Fincastle sorties, and my personal favourite - JMC anti surface tasks. Common factor here, I guess, is you were in RADAR and going like a one armed paper hanger! (ON ASV and Searchwater - both kits had these moments).

I think the average IQ of a Nimrod crew was probably pretty high, and it took quite a lot to get the blood pumping - you had to know you were doing something worthwhile, and doing it well... but when that combo came up it made up for doing SAR on Christmas day, cold-cold 'wet' sorties, and at least some of the other nausea encountered.

It helped that the average Maritime career lasted about 60 years, I guess, dunno what others felt but I liked the wide age range and experience you got on the kipper fleet....

Favourite places - Marina in Gib, Bunch of Grapes at Pissouri, Chiefs' mess in Kef. (Although I imagine the Brass Nut might be more popular with the voting public).

Dave

[Pontius Navigator]

I imagine the Brass Nut might be more popular with the voting public).

I can't remember. It wasn't me. I wasn't there. I wasn't with the USMC ROCK of ICELAND that finished up outside the sqn.

[PFMG]

We've all heard the stories of arriving at the hotel as the Swedish netball team just checked out but we (201/7) checked into the Catania Sheraton for 2 weeks of Exercise Dogfish just as the ladies world championships for water polo hit town. There was a general scrum around reception to get rooms over looking the pool (no that's where they relaxed not the actual championships) with us, the Australian girls (bless) the Canadians (mostly batting for the other side but fit) and some other bunch that time and poor memory have erased.

Anyway we really hit it off with the Aussie girls and our end or tournament/end of det party was something else.

Number 13 in the Aussie team was a girl to behold (God knows what her name was) but she was so well stacked yet so slim that the only places that the front of her swimsuit actually contacted skin was her chest and her front bottom (if you know what I mean).

I think Swervy feel in love about 3 times a day.

[thunderbird7]

...nervous moments spent waiting for the totty to turn up with your bathroom FULL of beer - "S**t! What are we going to do with all this?"

Cue Ozzy birds "F**k me girls! Lets get drinking!" Happy days.

Oh, and the Carabinieri on the roof trying to get the party off the restaurant roof... and that was a det we MEANT to stay for 2 weeks...

[fincastle84]

So is the Nimrod going to actually figure in any way in any of these stories,

See my #6. The Nimrod was the platform for that fine act. There was more fore & aft movement than within a MADCOMP!

[fergineer]

Dave remember the Greece flypast well......wasnt it the Stbd beam that asked should the airbrakes still be out.....quick select in 4 Speys on full chat with nose in the air demolished the parade. Later on at the reception after plenty of drinkies get on bus followed by the mil police asking us to hand all the gizits back.....Alexander K remember it too, I think everyone was controlling something that day including me. Gib on the way to ASI, used the end of the runway drop to get airbourne having told all and sundry not to camp there after a heavy session in the bar the night before. ASI and the admiral what a good call.
CXX/6 well we could write a book about it all re one day one of us will.ally

[Dave Angel]

Baia Verde - there was another hotel up a sort of side road up the hill, can't recall the name, but they had a heck of a cable feed in the early hours of the morning that I discovered quite by chance....Also interesting characters in the bar who came in with two minders and had camel hair coats draped over their shoulders. It was like being an extra in the Godfather some nights when you stopped off at the bar<g>
Dave

That'll be the Presidents Park.
The twisty road up to the hill was washed away by rain water flooding and revealed some of the mafia's 'former customers'. We wondered what all the blue lights were about when driving back from a sortie until we saw the local news and the line of hearse's collecting the 'customers' :ooh:

[PFMG]

By the way Thunderbird7...was that the same det that featured the infamous toothbrush incident?

[PFMG]

And another 201 story.

On landing we have a bird strike somewhere down the portside - clear thud was heard.

Once under control and rolling off the end of the ruynway the skipper calls, "Port beam report any damage."

R****ie F*nn*l replies, "Well I'm not a vet but I don't think it's going to fly again."

[davejb]

R****ie F*nn*l

Ahh, yes - rather a dry sense of humour - his 'Elmer Fudd sings Springsteen' was short but spot on.

Fergie - for a time there (as I was as yet young and innocent) I thought it was normal to be seen off by various police organisations. Leaving Gib once we got a radio message asking the skipper to confirm there were no cannonballs on board the aircraft*...I think I remember a practise drop from ordnance in between message receipt and the innocent reply.

Dave

* Which, when you think about it, is really quite a bizarre message to receive at the start of your homeward transit, although it didn't seem so at the time.

[The Old Fat One]

Re Cannon Balls

CXX Nav Capt per chance?

RE Women's team

Crew meal on adjacent table to Bergen Ladies Volleyball team. Does that count?

[davejb]

TOFO,
oh yes, just to confirm, a line book entry centred on one of his quotes...(apologies if my memory doesn't get it absolutely word perfect)

"One little bunch of daisies and you're marked for life"

A splendid chap, I thought.

Dave

[Jayand]

Have never understood the watching of porn when in the company of other men!!!! surely it's a solo activity?
Would rather watch POL in the desert and that is saying something!!!

[MFC_Fly]

Have never understood the watching of porn when in the company of other men!!!! surely it's a solo activity?
Would rather watch POL in the desert and that is saying something!!
Must agree with you there Jayand!! Although, allegedly, there was a co-pilot on CXX back in the early 90's that thought the opposite. It is said that he invited some of his fellow crew members back to his place one night, put on said viewing material and then passed a box of tissues round saying "feel free to...." :sad: Not sure how true the story is, but he didn't stay in the RAF much longer after that night.

[PFMG]

Have never understood the watching of porn when in the company of other men!!!! surely it's a solo activity?



Mostly I would agree especially if it is turned into a CXX style w4nk-in.

On the other hand (so to speak) there was something quite innocent in the whole crew crammed into the small TV room in the old Sgts' Mess.

Even Mrs OC 201 (W-B) found it quite normal at 11.30 on Christmas morning as she and old wobble head himself came in from the church across the road to give the troops the rousing "well done for holding the fort at Xmas" speech.

[davejb]

Have never understood the watching of porn when in the company of other men!!!! surely it's a solo activity?


I think it tended to stem from the number of videotapes and VCRs ..... in the dim and distant past, if you were on some sort of standby, you'd probably take over a mess TV room and you'd watch whatever the general consensus determined. You might well have your own VCR at home, but on standby in the mess you were reduced to 'A TV, A VCR' between the lot of you.

I even recall the whole crew going to the 'Astra' to watch some soft porn epic on SAR once. It was either that or re-reading 'Punch' all day, and on any sort of standby you all stuck together in case of a callout.

Most films seemed to be rated more highly if they included plenty of unintentional humour.

Having said that, the average Nim crew would happily watch something like Red October in preference - in later years, to my horror, the younger siggies seemed to rate 'Corrie' as the number one TV attraction, so I retired and bought a tartan travel rug.

Dave

[pipistrelle]

Was invited to a cxx beer call once (many times) and have vivid memories of someone chucking in a thunderflash - don't know if it was "high spirits" or wanton vandalism, I often wonder how the driving licence attrition rate wasn't higher after friday barrels. Fond memories of great times with great company.

[thunderbird7]

The 'later-OC201's-alleged-toothbrush-incident', was, in fact Gibraltar. Thought up while he was on the diving raft with someone :8

But I do remember the attempted burial of 'George' in Scapa Flow.

Lovingly packed in a sonobouy, the Nav Captain asked the Vicar how long his speech was and what the key words for pressing the button were.

"About 2 1/2 minutes. I would like to release him when I say the words "and now we commit his body to the deep".

What he neglected top say is those words were at the start of the 2 1/2 minutes.

Cue an approach in rather murky conditions to Kirkwall, timing should be right to on top the VOR and then George would be safely in the middle of the Floe, safely cleared by radar.

On top the VOR, of you go then Vic, "And I commit his body to the deep!" Bang! Just as the airfield perimeter track slid under the nose. To the crew's credit, nothing was said on intercom but after much ballistics bull****, we decided to come clean.

The local plod found him in the back garden of the Kirkwall Post Office. Old vic was spotted some days later, wandering round ops with a bent sonobouy, looking for a ride to somewhere far from land. :ok:

[The Old Fat One]

Arrr...memories flooding back now

re porn...Sgts Mess St Mawgan saturday night on SAR. We used to get the old VHS porn from the dude near the Godolphin (one from the back shed please). Into the old BBc2 room and it was packed with beanies. Standing room only; no pun intended.


re line book. My all time favourite.

GSU to Lead Wet 42 sqn (before DIFAR for the technically minded)

"What would you do if you got a noisy type 1 abrupt start on several buoys at one."

Lead wet to GSU. "Light a fire to improve morale."


re overseas exploits First det to Gib (actually first det anywhere ever)

Me to Wettie at breakfast (tinned snorkers). "F*** me you look like s***"

Wettie. "Spent all night in Civvy Gib police cell"

Me. "F*** me you'll be for it when the skipper finds out."

Wettie. "Doubtful. He's still locked up."

Happy, happy days

Re the mafia

Anybody out there remember the pizzeria at Aci Trezzi getting torched by local mafiosi after the 42 crew party (Dogfish 83??)

[PFMG]

The 'later-OC201's-alleged-toothbrush-incident', was, in fact Gibraltar. Thought up while he was on the diving raft with someone


No no no. Don't try to pretend you can't remember the real thoothbrush story. I'm talking a photo of a certain Ruby M*rr4y's brush up the bottom of a certain pilot, bristle side first.

P4ddy W**lley on camera, thunderbird7 somewhere front of lens!

[PFMG]

By the way...re R****ie F*nn*l

I would like to go on record to say Mr F*nn*l never watched any porn, did not enjoy porn and certainly did not have any under the floor of his bungalow in Rafford.

There...that's the record straight.

[Charlie Luncher]

PFMG Yes that was just one of Tbirds framing moments and yes I did have to see the head doc after that!
Eng leaving pressure in the Cabin as we depatch an ex-kipper fleet mate down the charlie launcher, second go he had bits of sausage roll to keep him fed in the after life but we all had eyebrows like you know who.
Mr Fs steaming glasses with the Ozzie team, Swervy's well developed forearm, little Al in love again, my room out to the roof trashed. The chicken lady and 50p sprarkling wars. Taff + beer who knows what could happen. That was in a week ******* happy days, CJ "Radios Paddle switch" MR F "go ahead paddle switch" still makes me laugh. Nearly as much as "mark mark 4 windsurfers in formation".
Sorry if this bores you, but if so you just wouldn't understand :8.
Charlie sends
from the land of the water polo girls

[thunderbird7]

Damn! Have I implicated myself in something else I didn't need to? :eek:

[davejb]

I would like to add that Mr F*n**l at no time took any porn into Int to while away a lonely night shift.

...I'd LIKE to add that, but Mummy told me not to tell porkies....

[changeitnot]

GW1, doing the embargo stuff. N2 decides he wants to have a go at talking to one of the vessels. OK Nav you can do the next one. Visual on the next vessel, flight deck...... it's a tanker, vessel name two words, first word first 3 letters Alpha Mike Alpha, over to you beam. Stbd beam, confirms Alpha Mike Alpha, and Delta Uniform Lima, 2nd word looks like Navigator, didn't get the port of registration. AEO confirms 2nd word Navigator and the port of registration is Monrovia.
Cue N2 on CH 16. Amadul Navigator, Amadul Navigator.

[thunderbird7]

Or would that be the famous Norwegian tanker the NOSMO KING, as recorded by Geordie LaForge - the BEST spam nav that ever turned up on exchange, I have to say, followed by the run of 3 on the "mark, mark TYPHOON RISER" in the Med, missed by the incompetent Russian speaking new crew member on the camera, cos it wasn't there. we made it up to him in beer tho...

And MAeOp F****l never had anything to do with any of that stuff. Apart from"Go ahead Paddle Switch", which will live forever :ok::ok::ok:

[JimNich]

But seriously, how many stickers can you actually fit onto a brand new Tucano, especially when there were absolutely no officers present to lead and direct (must be true, George said so). :E

[PFMG]

Did I ever tell you about the time we went to Nordholtz for the weekend?

To understand the word futile you have to see an entire Nimrod sensor team clearing a taxiway of hard packed ice with dingy knives........

Then again you probably haven't seen the same crew's pulling ability on the dancefoor of a German nightclub with about 5 litres of Affelcorn inside them or indeed the after party in the sauna back at the hotel.

[FE Hoppy]

It's all a bit lame so far chaps.

No one got any Peace Corps in Grootfontein. Alligator in the pool. Peed on by Rhino. Arrested for shagging on Islamic public beach. Run over by golf cart. Run over in Golf cart. Bungee in the Bahamas. WW2 VC on aldis lamp at 40 west. APU fire with full torp load. "Brace Brace" as we touched down on the Spanish road. "If I'm not back by lunch time tomorrow send the police" Jousting on Mopeds. Burning pianos. Skiing down Etna.Puking on Nosewheel. Dumping fuel on the pan in Malmo, Blue Peter presenters titsoot type stories?

[PFMG]

Run over by golf cart. - Yes

Run over in Golf cart. - Yes

"Brace Brace" as we touched down on the Spanish road. - not quite. More an airbrakes out and called for reverse as we soared over the road.

Burning pianos. - Of course.

Skiing down Etna. - No but plenty of Monte Carlo rally in hire cars type stories from Catania.

Puking on Nosewheel. - No. Peeing on mainwheel of P3C on Fincastle - Yes.

Dumping fuel on the pan in Malmo, - Gib actually...lots

Blue Peter presenters titsoot type stories? - Dirtbox Sarah Greene per chance?

[FATTER GATOR]

:eek: "Look there's Flaunt!"

Kept finding those stickers around for ages. Just as well OC Squid Sqn found it funny...oh no that's right:ok:

[Charlie Luncher]

Flaunt it on Fincastle in Perth to Big Chris W find out who is putting those stickers up, Chris passes me a sheet to spread.
CJ decides to run down the knockers with Hire car we and our Keo saved by storm drain. Cue co-pilot of the day to take keys and hide them under a bush in the bush TB any memories?
Taff vs Al, golf cart vs Firebird gutiest move I ever saw from my balcony man. Branters in lycra should never happen.
The Dr and any ladies of entertainment.
My schoolboy german being used to order Pussyman 3 for the syndicate.
Nairobi nuff said.
The parrot in the Brunswick Atrium poor Westers.
Geordie the Nav just for the record W*nker is not a joyous British Greeting.
TB snogging Indian lady menu so we can avoid Gib filth she was still on the SQN in 06.
Happy Days
Charlie sends

[thunderbird7]

No. I have no memory of which bush in the bush I put the keys under. Did anybody find them? :rolleyes:

On a more 'operational' note...

...taking a joint staff course flying in the Moray Firth to demonstrate the 'Mighty 'Rod's' capabilities.

Setting up for a run of 3 on a fishing boat to demonstrate the photography, one of the Fish-head senior officers leaning over the shoulder of the camera operator rather enthusiastically. After landing he asks if anybody has seen HIS camera, as he thinks he may have dropped it out the window!!

[QTRZulu]

TB,

It may have been a different trip, but I thought he was a green army rodney that lost his new nikon point-and-shoot which his wife had bought as a birthday present only the month before!

As I said, possibly a different trip, but age and alcohol have taken their toll on the old grey matter:{

[QTRZulu]

Hoppy,

I thought we all agreed to never talk about 'that lady' in Grootfontein and the red-pump ever again:mad:

However all talk about RN's liberated spangly DJ from the Mt Kenya Safari Club is fair game as far as I'm concerned :ok:

[FE Hoppy]

@QTRZulu

If you look closely you can see the smoke :ok:

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/4778_1156747552330_1036952426_456392_1251679_n.jpg

[Starter Crew]

Fergineer,

are you referring to the Athens/Akrotiri trip which was a post-Fincastle "reward" (for being a UK comp)?

If so, that was an action-packed det... hotel on the airport threshold, red faces when half of us had no passports so major payoff to customs/immigration. Particularly memorable was the (wet?) crew throwing some local bully into the pool at the weekly hotel disco. Turned out to be the son of a crime boss, so on advice from local plods we left for Cyprus a day early as I recall.

[fergineer]

That will be the one starte,r memories keep flooding back at a rate of knots of the things that went on on that trip!!!!!

[davejb]

The Athens/Akrotiri trip -
almost right, but we went from Cyprus onto Athens...took the AOC along for the ride, Curtis I suspect, along with his ADC chappie (who was good fun and happily joined in the newly discovered sport of 'hedge jumping' in the Cyprus tranasit accomodation).

A few unfortunate points on it though - if I'm not mistaken... Kinloss gliding club had a fatal crash on the Sunday, as we were about to leave, and we did a vertical for the accident inquiry rather than the beat up planned. Stopped at St Mawgan to pick up AOC (night stop). Few days in Cyprus, went out to kite to transit to Athens and a Canberra lost an engine on take off - we delayed as a result of that fatal event. Late arriving at Athens (we were due to be at the Naval Attache's for drinkies at 8) so it was a very quick change at the hotel, then back on the bus... which a local madman drove at about 70 mph down alleyways.

Being NCOs we simply didn't know how to behave, A* B**e had to tell us to clear off once the obligatory drink and horse's doovers had been consumed. Back to the bar then....

Airshow, about the closest description I can fit to it is "absolutely nothing went according to the plan, apart from landing at the end of it".

Only got 2 days in Athens or so, then back via St Mawgan - as we approached the runway a flock of seagulls got airborne and totalled the searchlight cover, so we delayed a bit while a replacement was found.

Kin-Stm Nov 4 1980, Akrotiri on the 5th, Athens 7th, HAF Tatoi flypast and general mortaring of troops 8th, back to St Mawgan on the 9th, then onto Kinloss the same day.... XV246, which was the aircraft we flew on the Fincastle that October. (We'd flown 243 for the Airde-Whyte, so Andy L had to make a new set of tail markings up - the Falcon's head we used as a zap and crew badge).

Dave

[davejb]

Hope this works,
for Fergie and Starter Crew, this ought to be most of the crew and groundcrew from that det...

http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss297/davejb55/Fincastle_1980-1.jpg
Dave

[Starter Crew]

I have that same pic in the other room :-)

Didn't we also have a concrete frog on the Fincastle trip? Fergus, I think... who was to be deep-sixed after bringing no good luck whatsoever!

Re: the sad incident of the Canberra at Akrotiri... I remember that too. Watched it from the flight deck while fixing a snag just before crew-in. However, I thought that was on a Medex and it happened between the first MR of 2 getting off for Gib and us being delayed. Memory isn't what it was.

The flypast was as good as related on here. I managed to convince someone to let me ride along in the radar seat and was impressed at how we went up...

SC

[fergineer]

It was definately on that trip SC...... Yep have got the picture too and a few others will dig them out......

[TheVulcan]

Can anyone help me? I need a story or stories of Nimrod dropping dinghies to good effect! My book Nimrod Rise and Fall goes to the publisher very shortly but so far have not communicated with anyone who dropped a dinghy.

[Pontius Navigator]

The best case I recall was Norman Tench on the Fasnet race disaster when he dropped both ASR and both dinghy pairs. Norman unfrotunately passed away last year but maybe another crew member may help.

[sargs]

Our crew dropped several dinghies onto a molasses tanker, the MV Victory, in February 1982. We dropped them across the tanker, which had broken into two pieces, so that the buoyant rope joining the dinghies would snag across the superstructure and thus be available to the remaining members of the ship's crew. I've got more details, and photos, if you wish.

[Yeller_Gait]

Back in 1990 the Irving Forest sank in the North Atlantic.

From the marine accident report


IRVING FOREST a Bermudian Registered 8,100 tonne deadweight ship left
St John, Canada, on 6 January 1990 with 18 crew and one supernumerary (wife
of crew member) on board, carrying a cargo of wood pulp and newsprint. Her
first port of call was scheduled to be Rouen, France with an estimated date of
arrival of 14 January.
Late on the 10th, in mid-North Atlantic, during storm weather conditions of
65 knot winds (Beaufort force 12) and 6-9 metre seas, the ship took a
starboard list of some 20 degrees, as a result of ingress of water into the
starboard side ballast tanks.
Early on the 11th as a result of the heavy list and the prevailing conditions the
ship suffered a total blackout which resulted in loss of propulsion. A deck
stowed container was lost overboard and subsequently three other deck stowed
containers were also lost.
By noon on the 11th the ship, in mid-North Atlantic without any power, was
listing to starboard. The Master sent out a distress call at 1210 hours
(1310 GMT) and as a result contact was made with BT NESTOR a tanker of
69,900 tonnes deadweight which was some 3 hours steaming time away from
IRVING FOREST.
Everyone was then mustered on the port side of the boat deck in their survival
suits and the Master's plan was to abandon IRVING FOREST on the arrival
of BT NESTOR which was estimated as 1615 hours local time.
During the preparations to abandon ship using the 20 man inflatable liferaft
stowed on the boat deck - portside - the 2nd Engineer's wife (the
supernumerary), the Chief Officer and a GP seaman were washed overboard.
Fortunately an RAF Nimrod aircraft had arrived over the ship at this crucial
time and they dropped an air-sea rescue pack including two inflatable liferafts,
one of which the three persons in the sea eventually boarded.
The remaining members of the crew subsequently left the ship by jumping
overboard while hooked onto the ship's liferaft painter, the liferaft having been
successfully launched into the sea.
All IRVING FOREST'S crew, including the supernumerary, were embarked
aboard BT NESTOR by 1900 hours local time.


http://www.maib.gov.uk/cms_resources.cfm?file=/irving_%20forest_pub_1992.pdf

Unfortunately I do not have any photographs, but I can remember seeing them. Someone may have them somewhere.

Y_G

[Foxache Radar]

Most memorable dinghy drop I recall (and was involved in) was the one in approx 2001 out at about 25West in which a German-owned fishing boat had sunk and all but one member of the Spanish crew had perished. The survivor was found by 201/7 (captained by SJ), waving up at us as we carried out a search of the area. We dropped a dinghy on him and he clambered in after 12 hours of bobbing around in the Atlantic. His name?? Jesus (I kid you not). He had been the only one able to don a survival suit and that had saved his life. You should able to find it in press archives. One of the tabloids ran the headline 'Go on my Son' which was the quote the capt gave to the reporter when asked what he felt when the survivor clambered in to the dinghy.

Hope this helps.

[Wokkafans]

Top effort :ok:

Will to survive defies the sea Nimrod crew pay tribute to fisherman's superhuman effort to pull himself on to liferaft - Herald Scotland | Sport | SPL | Aberdeen (http://www.heraldscotland.com/sport/spl/aberdeen/will-to-survive-defies-the-sea-nimrod-crew-pay-tribute-to-fisherman-s-superhuman-effort-to-pull-himself-on-to-liferaft-1.196038)

[AnglianAV8R]

Please pardon my interjection as a mere civvy PPL, but that is bl**dy fantastic. Spotting a single body in the ocean swell !!! Just fantastic and I can't bring it in myself to forgive Cameron for throwing away such a vital skill set. To all of you who served, I know you had some great times and even got paid for it, but your skills were sincerely appreciated by a lot of us non military folk. There isn't a lot in modern Britain that makes you proud and it was that sort of story that would boost morale :D

[TaccoHell]

In fact, one of the CXX roof painters was a red-headed Nav and former dentist. Bob Joseph, who was then OC206 helped deflect some of the ire by pointing out that. as 120 had recently won an award for tactical excellence, the new roof was an homage to CXX Tactical Sword, and not in any way an insult.


http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee496/Skier641/Flying%20Related/120SqnRoof1Custom.jpg

Guilty your honour! Along with J*m E****ll. We almost fell off the roof from laughing. I wish I'd kept a copy of Bob Joseph's letter, it was genius.

[Riskman]

This is taking nostalgia to extremes. How did you do it?

http://www.parliament.uk/deposits/depositedpapers/2011/dep2011-0602.doc

(For the mystified - search on Kinloss)

R

[Hoots]

Lots of dinghy's dropped for the Sonia Nancy late 1990's will need to check log book, by two nimrod's, was 4 jan. Sea king crew were immense getting 10 guys off rapidly with radalt varying 100ft due to the sea state. Sure was a stormy few days, MV oak just a few days before on new years day lost part of it's load and limped to shelter listing badly. Happy days.

[Rossian]

.....will come up with the full details, but a certain pipe smoking Yorkshire captain dropped ALL his ASR and dinghy pairs to a crew who were unwilling to jump into the sea. As they turned back to see the position of the last drop and ran in the ship just rolled over and all were lost.
ISTR it was a Korean crewed grain carrier. As I say someone will put me right.

The Ancient Mariner

[Seymour Belvoir]

Rossian,

ISTR the Korean bulk carrier was the Cecil Angola (sp?).

I remember being amazed that despite what happens in the pool drills, all the MS10s inflated the right way up!

[Pontius Navigator]

Fascinating and awesome.

I recall being asked by Group Weapons in the late '70s if ASR was still required as they were running out of stores and wondered whether to order newkit.

[letsgoandfly]

Riskman, please clarify the point you're trying to make.

Otherwise, numerous SAR ops without dropping ASR or dinghy pairs, always wondered how an ops load 0 would be received upon return!

[Not Long Here]

I suspect Riskman is referring to the list of stolen property which includes an aircraft fuselage nicked from Kinloss :rolleyes:

[ANAPROP]

Very soon after airborne out of Sig when the No2 gulped its oil and had to be shut down. Eng still going through the checks when we get a"rib 2 overheat" on the other side. Immediate actions include throttle back the engines on that side. So heavy and on one engine, we were going down...

Co-pilot puts out the mayday to Sig ATC, Eng runs the checks...

Fortunately, once the air supply leavers were shut, the problem went away and the engines could be throttled up, but for a few moments...

[kevnurse]

Very soon after airborne out of Sig when the No2 gulped its oil and had to be shut down. Eng still going through the checks when we get a"rib 2 overheat" on the other side. Immediate actions include throttle back the engines on that side. So heavy and on one engine, we were going down...

Co-pilot puts out the mayday to Sig ATC, Eng runs the checks...

Fortunately, once the air supply leavers were shut, the problem went away and the engines could be throttled up, but for a few moments...


As a "War Sory", thats a very serious incident that you are describing: a heavy 4-jet ac powered only by one engine and "we were going down.." I feel that I must comment. Either your flight deck crew went against all their training or you are mistaken. I prefer to believe the latter.

Firstly, no issues about the oil system failure. If the indications required a shut down, so be it.

The immediate actions for a Rib 2 overheat do not include throttling back the engines on the affected side. In fact, the requirement is for them to be left untouched if possible (probably at high power, if "very soon after airborne"). Ultimately, at a later stage in the drill, one of the engines might have needed to be throttled back, but only when it would have been appropriate to the overriding need to fly the aircraft safely. In this case, throttling one engine all the way back to idle, while another one was shut down, would have been a serious mistake. A slight reduction in power (usually to approx 90% HPRPM) to extinguish the warning, then dump fuel to a safe 2 engine operating weight (20 minutes) and finally idle/shut down the engine, would have been the airmanship answer. If you were going down, it was because the P1 woud have recognised that he would have to descend due to the loss of the 1st engine and the probable reduction in power on another one. At no time were you in danger. The mayday call was probably due to the "SOP" that when overseas the crew will get the attention of the ATC controller and receive their immediately required revised clearances without any language difficulties.

I cannot believe that the flight deck crew acted in the manner you describe.

[ANAPROP]

This was in the mid eighties, so my memory may have faded. However the engines were definitely throttled back (to what extent I don't know). We definitely commenced a slow descent to maintain speed, and we definitely put out a Mayday (we were at no more than 10,000ft). You are probably right, the flt deck were following SOPs, they behaved as usual in a highly professional manner. Most of us had experienced an R2OH or 2 in the past, so realised that the problem would likely go away once the levers were shut so no real drama. We did of course dump fuel & RTB. I dare say the incident report is still out there buried in a file somewhere...

[BEagle]

Most of us had experienced an R2OH or 2 in the past...

That does rather throw some doubt upon the airworthiness of the system design.

[Pontius Navigator]

In the 70s, when the aircraft were relatively new, and still being delivered (XZ) I recall few incidents and none, AFAICR, of a shut down. We may have had the odd hydraulic problem but that is why it was an hydraulic aircraft. The worst problem was the Marker Marines and flares cooking off.

[Duncan D'Sorderlee]

And if any crew peformed differently to that suggested by kevnurse, then they would soon have been Cat-less!

Beagle, whilst crews will have experience a Rib 2 overheat or 2, they are likely to have been in the Nimrod Dynamic Simulator!

Duncs:ok:

[davejb]

Errm,
sorry - but I logged Mar 24 1993 XV 227 40 minutes day, RTB Rib 2 overheat, and I can vaguely recall at least one more... and my flying hour count is impressive for a Tornado pilot but barely gets me through the door of a maritime reunion, so an airborne Rib 2 wasn't common, but I suspect I'm not the only kipper guy on here who thinks the line about most folk having experienced one or two in their time is accurate.

Memory is hazy, but a rib 2 O/H - whilst being a fire warning and therefore taken seriously - usually didn't turn out to be an engine fire when investigated, as I recall? I do seem to remember that on that day in 93 I was reasonably calm and thinking 'this'll turn out to be the fire wire having a senior moment'... though as a siggie I did believe in the power of seaweed, chicken bones, and knew far too little about a/c systems, I will admit.

Rib 2 was definitely not a DSS only experience.

I am more than happy to defer to Kev on the technical side, of course, as he's not exactly a beginner as far as Nimrod systems go.

You piloty type people would be mighily warmed by the faith we down the back used to have in you*, even those piloty people who made it through Biggin on the strength of a PE degree.... (THAT, however, is another story, isn't it Co? <g>)

Dave

* Mind you, for anything serious, we were usually more happy about the fact our eng's were enlisted scum with scabby knuckles.

[Daf Hucker]

The Vulcan @ #59 you asked for dinghy dropping stories.

I was on the crew with Norman Tench that dropped dinghies to 2 crew members of a catamaran that was about 300 miles SW of Ireland. The guys in the catamaran wrote an article for Yachting Monthly about the rescue, which would have been about 1981-ish (I haven't got my logbook with me at the moment). I think that the catamaran was called "Boatfile" or something similar, and belonged to Chay Blyth. Yachting Monthly presented a painting of the rescue to the crew at the International Boat Show in London the following January, might be worth trying to contact 206 (R) Sqn and see if they still have the painting, I think it detailed the crews of the dinghy and the Nimrod.

Anyway the story as I remember it -

A Nimrod flying the then Defence Minister John Knott was diverted after a distress beacon was activated south-west of Ireland and started to get a fix on it when they had to rtb at PLE. In the meantime we'd been called out to go and help. We found the guys after a bit of a search, in survival suits, but in a sinking dinghy. We lined up to drop Lindholme gear which landed close enough for the guys to get into (one of the guys stood up in the dinghy, holding the cover up like a sail as the other guy hung over the side acting as a rudder!!!) What we didn't realise is that only the dingy and one survival pack actually left the bomb-bay and there was a couple of hundred yards of line trailing after the aircraft. Satisfied with a job well done, we decided to climb above cloud for 30 mins to wait for the chopper to come out. After the half hour was up we decided to check on the dinghy to make sure all was well - to our horror, the dinghy was deflating and the guys were in serious trouble again. We made another Lindholme drop (again a faulty release) but the guys ended up with another dinghy dropped almost on top of them due to Norman Tench's accurate dropping. They managed to get into the 2nd dinghy, but left the Sarbe beacon in the old one, at this stage we hadn't seen them get into the new dinghy and couldn't see any signs of life in the new one and thought we'd lost them. At some stage in the events, we'd vectored a Fyffes banana boat onto the dinghy, but they couldn't get too close to them due to the sea state (it was horrendous). However, they had seen the transfer and let us know the guys were safely in the new dinghy.
A SAR Seaking made it out to the dinghy after refuelling in southern Eire and possibly a rig (it was a long time ago!), lifted the guys and took them to hospital. We landed at St Mawgan as the "national press" wanted to interview us - one guy from the Bristol Gazette!

As I've said, this all happened rather a long time ago, so may not be entirely accurate. I'm sure that there are one or two other members of the crew that look at Pprune from time to time that can corroborate/correct my memory. I'm sure that there will be a record in the 206 Sqn F540. I'll PM you with the date when I can get hold of my log book.

Daf

[Duncan D'Sorderlee]

Dave,

I didn't say that it didn't happen; just not with the frequency intimated earlier. And, of course, the reason that we practised in the NDS was in case it did happen!

And I've no idea to whom you are referring wrt the degree in star jumps!;)

Duncs:ok:

[jamesdevice]

Yeller Gait

are these the photos of the "Irving Forest" you meant?
Courtesy of Google






http://www.amp.gob.pa/newsite/spanish/casualty/images/Irving%20Forest06.jpg

http://www.amp.gob.pa/newsite/spanish/casualty/images/Irving%20Forest05.jpg

[thunderbird7]

I remember it well. Got them in the loft somehwere. The Engineers wife got swept overboard and a Phillipino crewman jumped in after her - they actually used our rafts dropped. The rest of the crew boarded the ships rafts from the stern and a very clever Captain in a bulk carrier manouevred his ship such that they drifted into the side and then climbed up a scramble net.

[davejb]

Sorry if the PE bit confused you Duncs,
it was reference a co on a crew some 20 years ago, not yourself... another ex crewmate reminded me of a funny story the other night which centred on what the co did at Uni during his PE degree, as imagined by our R4...

[Duncan D'Sorderlee]

Ah. Here was me thinking of a chopped pilot with a PE degree who was at ISK about 20 years ago (not quite 20, about 17/18 years ago) as the PEdO.

Duncs:ok:

[TheVulcan]

That's exactly why I've written my book Nimrod Rise and Fall to commemorate all the wonderful work that was done. Due out on the anniversary of the day the Nimrod project was stopped, 19th October 2011, and dedicated to:-

To the many Nimrod aircrews, some sadly no longer with us, who flew in the aircraft for over forty years protecting our shores, rescuing our sailors, supporting our armed services, both on land and sea.

[davejb]

mmm, yes, sorry for the confusion,
the co in question was a nice lad, it all centred on a discussion re academic qualifications, when the co chipped in that he had a PE degree, and the R4 (who I bet is lurking here) asked him what that entailed, and then proceeded to answer his own query...

"Putting out the mats in year one..."

etc

The ONE thing that nobody will ever take from Maritime, and will never be the same anywhere else, is the twisted, evil, hilarious verbal sparring that occurred on the average crew.

[OilCan]

* Mind you, for anything serious, we were usually more happy about the fact our eng's were enlisted scum with scabby knuckles.

Oi, my knuckles aren't scabby. :)

For the record; A rib2 O/Heat sensor wasn't a fire warning....it was a Hot Gas leak detector.

Just a pity the designers didn't put a few more in the Tac area. :p

[PingDit]

'Anybody out there remember the pizzeria at Aci Trezzi getting torched by local mafiosi after the 42 crew party (Dogfish 83??)'

Indeed I do! Anvil and I had organised the duty free for the time out there. We couldn't take back the 3 crates of scotch we'd been unable to consume by the end of the det. so had made enquiries at said bar. They hadn't been interested though. However, the next evening, they had petrol poured through their letterbox and half the bar was torched. Apparently this was a 'slap on the wrist' for not informing the guys who needed to know that there was something for sale!
The next day, I was out shopping but Anvil was still at the hotel and took a phone call. It was a stranger who'd heard that we had something for sale. Anvil was invited to meet him at a local coffee bar. So Anvil sets off at 1pm to meet this guy and had put his flying knife inside his flying boots for the trip there - he said he didn't know who he was going to meet and he felt a bit safer.
He gets to the coffee bar and he's shown upstairs by a gorilla who offers him one of the 2 seats at a coffee table in a rather barren room. The gorilla stands with his back to the door and they await the 'Man'.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the deal is done and we haven't lost any money, 3 crates of scotch are now sold. At the end of the deal, Anvil says to the Man, "please don't take this the wrong way but as I didn't know who I was coming to meet, I took the precaution of putting this inside my boot and it's starting to feel rather uncomfortable" and puts his flying knife on the table. The Man smiles and says "I know what you mean - they're a bit heavy at times aren't they" and puts a revolver on the table. They both continued to smile as they finished their coffees.....

[PingDit]

Vulcan: Can anyone help me? I need a story or stories of Nimrod dropping dinghies to good effect! My book Nimrod Rise and Fall goes to the publisher very shortly but so far have not communicated with anyone who dropped a dinghy.

I remember being on radios this one particular trip, we were in D001 I seem to recall. Feeling a bit bored, I started flicking through all of the distress frequencies in an effort to brighten up my day when I intercepted a mayday.
It was being sent by a guy in a light aircraft who was in some difficulty.
Well I rogered his mayday and our conversation went something like this:

Me "What's your current height and position?"
Him "Over a large expanse of water, descending"
Me: "Can you give me a clue on your position?"
Him: "Well, I took off from Paris heading for East Anglia"
Me: "What time did you take off and what was your height and airspeed?"
Him: (passes info)

Well by now, everyone on board has got into the act and the nav's been plotting where he thinks this guy may be. At about 100 miles we pick up a contact and head straight for it. It was him. He was sat astride the cockpit of his light aircraft which was now floating on the surface in the North Sea. We carried out a Linholme drop which straddled both him and the aircraft - perfect. He pulled in the dingy and stepped into it just as his aircraft sunk underneath him. He didn't even get a foot wet.

The box of wine he personally delivered to the Squadron a few weeks later went down very well....

[Rossian]

....120/6 lucked in, as did the crew of Rescue187 when they coordinated the rescue of a member of the Agnelli family flying his a/c from the states to Europe.

Long story short; the two crews get invited to Lucca in Tuscany where there was a civic reception; tower of PISA was opened just for them and all in all very well thanked.
Crewman from R187 made an address and concluded by saying " When you next fly across the pond with your new a/c you might want one of - THESE!" and inflated an MS10 behind the curtain at the back of the top table. Cue cardiac arrest by the security detail!

As I said before, there's bound to be someone here who can flesh out the bare bones I've set out.

The Ancient Mariner

[davejb]

120/6 - hey, that's my first crew! I expect Fergineer will be along when NZ hours catch up to reiterate the claim.

Torching the pizzeria for omitting to mention three cases of scotch seems harsh (especially if it was the usual Glenfarclas). I loved Sig dets!

[Rossian]

......you were only a lad then Dave.
On another occasion, having overseen the winching off from a German stern trawler of the skipper with a heart attack, on our return to ISK from StM there was a bottle of Bristow's own bottled malt from the chopper crew with a note that read "It was comforting to be looked after by the professionals" waiting for us. Warm glow time.
(On the other hand - when I rang Stornaway Hospital after landing, to find out if our man had survived, I was told by the night sister that she'd spoken to the captain, who was now much better, but he didn't wish to speak to us and not to call asking about him again!!) Funny old world, innit?

The Ancient Mariner

[olddog]

I was with on 42 Sqn doing a fly past for the town show at Plymouth and diverted to SAR for Virgin Atlantic Challenger which sank off Bishop(?) Rock on 15 Aug 1985. We dropped a liferaft to the survivors and homed the Geest Bay Banana Boat in to pick them up. They were subsequently picked up by a RN seaking and flown to Culdrose. I have photos, the back of one is signed by R Branson, Chay Blythe and John Ridgeway. Vulcan PM me if you would like to see them.

[fergineer]

Morning davejb all this talk about grog makes me remember after carrying the film crew when the Alexander Kielan went down and a box of whisky appeared for that too. Seems that grog and 120/6 go together , not that we drank much did we!!!!!

[Jayand]

So shall we just rename the thread to SAR stories??

[Rossian]

....with maritime; most of the really interesting tales were so classified that if one talked about them outside the ops block one's collar would be felt by the plods.

The knock on effect of this is that a lot of the high paid help in the RAF never really knew what the "kipper fleet", as they always referred to it, DID. On more than one occasion I remember a visiting fireman saying at the conclusion of the capability brief "Why didn't I know that??"

"You may well ask" was my usual internal mutter.

The Ancient Mariner

[Yellow Sun]

There is the apocryphal story of the Little Jet (LJ) pilot who became CAS. "Great" he said, "I can now find out what 51 does!" So he called in his PSO and told him he wanted a brief on 51's operations. A couple of days later his PSO returned. "When's the briefing?" enquired CAS. "I'm sorry sir" replied the PSO, "But I can't find anyone who knows what 51 do!"

YS;)

[Jayand]

I am quite sure there must be some Gulf/Afghanistan stories that dont need any classification?

[MFC_Fly]

I am quite sure there must be some Gulf/Afghanistan stories that dont need any classification?
Well if it Nimrod WAR stories you want then the jobs done in those 2 theatres were all classified and so you will just have to wait until they are allowed to be talked about in public.

You may get hints of some of the jobs done in other peoples books about those theatres, but not even they are that accurate when they mention the airborne support to the guys on the ground - for example one book discusses a certain high-profile Op that I was involved in and the author can't even get the type of the supporting aircraft correct :\

[Shack37]

You may get hints of some of the jobs done in other peoples books about those theatres, but not even they are that accurate when they mention the airborne support to the guys on the ground - for example one book discusses a certain high-profile Op that I was involved in and the author can't even get the type of the supporting aircraft correct http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/wibble.gif


T'was ever so and perhaps as it should be. Authors and theatre critics, like eunuchs in the harem, watch and criticise but cannot do it themselves.

[Secretsooty]

And I remember well the looks on some of the faces as you all came down the steps off the jet! Not that any of your illustrious groundcrew took the mickey, lol.

[nimbat56]

The infamous black cat did die but it was flattened by a car not the engineer and co of CXX/7. When we got back to the mess there were chalk outlines around stains on the carpet and a cat shaped outline outside one of the window!! The RAF plods believed we (the crew) had sacrificially dispatched the cat.... Certain members of the crew were interviewed by the RAF plods, completely surreal. The story how the cat got into the mess was classic kipper fleet, when the Eng was asked how the Cat got on the base he said ' me and B--cy tabbed it over the wall' . was it dead?' yep, it was that stiff you could comb your hair with it' It ended up with the the Co getting moved off the crew the Eng getting a slapped wrist (and a cleaning bill), and 5 others including me getting interviewed and a warning. Memories are definitely made of this!!

[The Old Fat One]

Re the above...

I was in the Sgts Mess having lunch with blankety blank.

Tannoy..."emergency state 2, Nimrod aircraft, blah blah POB, undercarriage problem..on finals."

Blankety Blank. "Boring. Always state 2...how about a state one for once."

About 2 seconds later...

Tannoy "emergency state one, Nimrod crashed on the runway"

How red did blankety blank go?

[ShortFatOne]

"I think the average IQ of a Nimrod crew was probably pretty high,"

I was the least qualified person (educationally!) on the crew, and I was the skipper.

About Afg/Iraq stories.

I seem to recall a dit about a certain co-pilot's beret that is currently adorning some local tribesman in Afg?

And the tale of the arrival of one of the first MR2s into Basra (as told to me by one of the crew) after it had been declared 'safe', shortly followed by the crew taking cover under the tables in the airport lounge as the rounds landed always made me giggle. It was the matter of fact manner in which he described all hell breaking loose.


Hearing these old stories, sometimes for the umpteenth time, is good medicine for a broken heart. It will never totally mend but the pain is eased.

[oxenos]

I.Q.
I recall an entry in one of the Sqn. line books which said:-
" XXXXXXX has moved from Crew 4 to Crew 2, thereby raising the average I.Q. of both crews. "

[retrosgone]

The beret plot is indeed a true story - and resulted from a clash between the old culture (in which aircrew looked like aircrew), and the new nonsense of everyone having to look like an infantry "grunt" regardless of the fact that you might be in an office, flying an anti-submarine airliner, or cooking dinner for the hungry masses 1000 miles from the front line.

Dcember 2001, and 206/3 under the leadership of Sqn Ldr K**** P***, were despatched via BA Club Class to finally terrorise the Taleban into submission.

I was substituted in as P1, and as an "old school" FTRS geezer the captain and I had issues with the enthusiasm with which the young thrusting P2 had swallowed the whole gung-ho Americanised version of modern warfare. We therefore insisted on being officer-like and continued to wear our SD caps while decrying berets at every opportunity. fed up of having the p*** taken and being accused of being old farts (though to be fair, we were old farts even then), we hatched a suitable revenge with the connivance of our naval observer Nav 1, and indeed the rest of the crew.

Said P2's beret was removed from his headset bag and taped to the inside rear of a bomb door during the walk-round. Two hours later, over a secret desert airfield in another Stan just south of A*****stan, I asked the P2 to cycle the bomb doors to meet an engineering requirement - which he immediately did without question (clearly not thinking it an odd thing to do at FL260 at night over land).

As soon as the rumble was felt through the airframe - our dark blue colleague called "Co - note down this Lat and Long" and reeled off the numbers. When asked why, the response was " Because that's where your f****** beret is!"

The resultant sulk lasted for days.

[Rossian]

....do you not understand, course profile, that it is the RULE that the reason for a co-pilots existence is to be the butt of crew jokettes. String into bottom of paper cup, tea bag sandwich, CAMBS bouy stowed neatly in the bottom of the HUGE aircrew holdall that he had to hold his g-suit (before he was chopped from the FJ course) which he has retained so that others may know he was once destined for "better" things and that the Air Sec (or whatever he's called today) will finally come to his senses and send him to where he REALLY belongs??

It's known as character building.

The Ancient Mariner

PS Yes, we old farts can have monumental sulks too; I've had some brammers. Mea culpa mea maxima culpa. Not bad for a presbyterian,eh?

[retrosgone]

Firstly - it was rossian and not me who replied to your earlier post. Secondly, it was we "old farts" who were (probably rightly) the recipients of the mickey taking, so we decided to retaliate gently. The events sparked off a lot of banter, not to mention further mild escalation of events (ie, the co-pilot sawing most of the way through the legs legs of the skipper's camp bed) to everybody's amusement. As for the inter crew war of the wailing minaret alarm clocks - that's another story altogether.

These sorts of things kept everybody sane and motivated in potentially difficult circumstances. I now work as a trainer in a civil environment, and I would not dream of doing that sort of thing, because in the airline world people simply would not know how to take it, and would be understandably upset and offended.

In the military, these things happened between colleagues and friends, where "wind ups" and banter were part of the deal. The "victim" in my story is an excellent guy who could give as good as he got. There is a big difference between this sort of thing and bullying the weak and defenceless.

[arni1072]

Remember a time when the crew (either 42 crew 5 or CXX crew 9) (almost one of the same after St Mawgan closed) became "Melchester United" to get into a private club somewhere in the med (Catania not sure now). Given free drinks all night!! Did tip the barman handsomely the next night as he asked us how long we had been a Premier League Football club?? As he had not quite heard of us!!
Also remember the night a certain wet man tried to set fire to the 'Hessian International' whilst walking home from a night of 'sasparella' and 'Mexican hats'

[Rossian]

......course profile has had an irony bypass, retrosgone.

Perhaps I should have included an icon or two so that the intent was clear.

Oh dear I suppose I'd better go and sit in the naughty step now.

The Ancient Mariner

[November4]

Was it Course Profiles beret that was dropped and that's why he is so hacked off?

[Halton Brat]

Course Profile

Lighten up a little, my friend. Perhaps you should cancel your subscription to all those Health & Safety/Political Correctness magazines, and get out a bit more?

Be advised that banter/mickey-taking/jolly japes have always been one of the principal fuels upon which the RAF runs, and are often the only source of light relief in trying situations. Anybody who has ever donned HM uniform will be aware of this; have you?

HB (ex-Kipper Fleet)

[Sideshow Bob]

course_profile,

If you knew retrosgone as well as the rest of us you would not be as quick to judge. He was a very respected Pilot and QFi within the Nimrod fleet.

retrosgone ,

bumped into said Co last year in Sleaford Tesco. He had made the dizzy hights of Sqn Ldr (I know hard to believe lol:)) He had just PVR'd.

As for the inter crew war of the wailing minaret alarm clocks - that's another story altogether.

I remember waking up one morning to find all the roller track around the tent had been taken up in the night due to several buried clocks going off. The rest of the crew had spent most of the night digging them up. I had slept through the lot. Always did like my sleep.

Stand-in Air Eng 206/2 Dec 01

(edited to correct rossian to retrosgone)

[Halton Brat]

Sideshow Bob

I am shocked to hear that a Sqn Ldr Pilot is having to work part-time at Tesco Sleaford.

Small wonder then, that the PVR rate is so high.

Wouldn't have happened in my day, harrumph..............

HB

[Wwyvern]

Course Profile.

Your public profile gives no clue as to your competence to comment on this forum. Perhaps you should read some of the threads which involve banter in the RAF. You can do that from home.

Perhaps the following explains banter. One of my colleagues, heavily ex-RAF and flying a bizjet based in Mexico, was asked by one of his co-workers, "Why are you so nasty to Pedro?" His answer was that it was because they LIKED Pedro.

[spectre150]

'course_profile has not made any friends yet' was the least surprising part of his frustratingly thin profile. It has GOT to be a wind-up. Hasn't it? People don't really think like that surely.

His post reminded me in a bizarre sort of way of those randon junk mails you receive from the Nigerian Lottery advising you that you had won a zillion squids - reasonable English until something unfathomable pops up like: 'the works moves on'.

If, by some miracle, it isnt a bit of banter in itself, I truly feel sorry for those still serving that have to work alongside people with this attitude.

Now, back to the Nigerian Lottery.....

[Rossian]

...however flattered I may be by your elevation of me to the double winged master race; I am, in fact, a really old fart of an AEO. (Even older than R*b Fo***s, yes, that IS possible) but still quite a nice chap.
On a sadder note, just in the process of getting ready to go to Eric Hughs' funeral service in Elgin. Another of the good guys gone. His career spanned Canberras, Buccs and Nimrods and he was a stalwart for many years of the Kinloss Mountain Rescue Team.

The Ancient Mariner

and as for being a QFI?? rolls eyes.

[Yeller_Gait]

Sideshow Bob

I am shocked to hear that a Sqn Ldr Pilot is having to work part-time at Tesco Sleaford.

Small wonder then, that the PVR rate is so high.


Wouldn't have happened in my day, harrumph..............

S%^t happens

but better to be getting on with and making the best of it
HBY_G (pvr 2008)

[Sideshow Bob]

however flattered I may be by your elevation of me to the double winged master race; I am, in fact, a really old fart of an AEO

Sorry old chap I did of course retosgone, now edited for accuracy. Also I didn't think any AEO could possibly be older than R*b :ooh:

[howiehowie93]

I am shocked to hear that a Sqn Ldr Pilot is having to work part-time at Tesco Sleaford.
Bloody hell - what chance has I, an ex-backbone of the Royal Air Force ground crew type got then if Tesco's are only taking on ex-Sqn Ldrs part time !!! 'Spose B & Q is for ex-Air Officer only ???

BK, Ronny's or Pizz the Hut it is then !!:ugh:

HH93

[ShortFatOne]

My first sortie as newly qualified Nimrod QFI was night ccts with a ginger-haired WgCdr about to take over 206Sqn. The CFI is also on-board, so no pressure!

I demo the first cct and in the process pretty much forget to flare, so flustered was I by trying really hard not to look a complete arse in front of all these important people.

We roll from the ensuing crash and as I hand over to the 'stude', he comments "that was pretty rubbish (or words to that effect)". I mumble "yes Sir, it was" and wish the ground would open up.

Round we come for his first attempt, which he promptly tries to bury in the approach end of the runway. I can still hear the grunts of expelled air through gritted teeth from down the back.

Rolling checks, airborne, he hands back control to me, at which point I say " but not as rubbish as that!(or some other words to that effect)" He mumbles back, "Yes Sir"!!!

A thoroughly enjoyable 4 years teaching on the Mighy Rod followed.

Watching the DetCom (KR) get arrested at gunpoint in Elmas as he disembarked from the aircraft was quite funny.

SFO

[Canadian Break]

Chaps, I think you have missed the clue here. CP goes on about how bad it was when banter was weapons-free and the 5 second rule applied. Clearly, life in the RAF is a lot better now; we are all PC, CRM etc etc. It's so good that people are throwing themselves at the Service ......... to get out!:D

[stbd beam]

SFO - ahhh, night circuits.....

I recall one trip of thousands in the same vein - watching the NCA AEO stand-in as he awoke to realise everyone was watching to see when his chin would descend into the pile of drool he'd left on the AEO's table, such was the wonderful smoothness of the rollers that night!!!!!

[Rossian]

.... when the said detcom KR was hauled off to be interviewed by OC OPs equivalent I went along to interpret. (I also knew the chap and he was a pompous ass).
We explained that all the signals had been sent to the man at Maristat Rome (whom I also knew) and would OC Ops mind if I spoke to Rome to find out what had happened. He agreed and after a short conversation with my acquaintance handed the man his phone. The Italian equivalent of "Sooorrrreeeeeee" came down the line the fax machine in the corner of the office started chuntering and out came our clearances. Phew!

And no mention of Saturday morning circuits at Gibraltar. Right??

The Ancient Mariner

[fergineer]

Rossian if you are as old as the venerable R*b then you must have many many stories to tell, I was there when he was a spotty faced young erk!!!

[Pete R]

I was the skipper on the first ac to arrive in ELMAS to find that certain pieces of paperwork had obviously not been forthcoming. As I meandered back to the galley to sign the tech log the crew chief informed me that the Italian OC Ops was outside and was not a happy bear as we (and the other ac that was 3nms finals) apparently were not authorised to be here. I looked through the galley window and observed Rossian trying to reason with a chap who was patently obviously not best pleased. I stated that I didn’t think there was, “any need for me to rush outside as the AEO obviously had things under control” and that perhaps I could just have a cup of tea and a biscuit (always a good idea in a crisis) whilst things cooled down/developed. A few minutes later as SFO arrived with the Det Com onboard the Italian motioned for Rossian to get in the car and promptly drove off with him at speed. My light refreshments almost finished I said, “I think it’s safe for me to go outside now” and went out to observe SFO and the other 24 miscreants arrive.;)

[Not Long Here]

Pete R,

That will be a bit like when we arrived at Kanehoe Bay (Hawaii for the uninformed) and I was doing the arrival with the Base Commander when you got off the aircraft with the headband, teeth and glasses representing the Japanese Kamikaze Pilot..

Good times ..................unfortunately now gone.

Stu

I will leave readers to decide on the authenticity of this story;)

[Pete R]

Not Long Here.
I shall of course deny everything as my learned friend, Captain Blackadder, has instructed me to so do. As far as I recall it was a big boy that did it and then ran away.
Good times indeed! Not to forget that most celubrious of hostelrys, Sam's Bar at Homestead!;)
Trust you're keeping well?
Pete R

[PingDit]

Felix:

'On that note does anyone have the video? I would love a copy'

Indeed I do! I was in the port beam on XV231 on that interesting L1 (I was going through as a re-tread). I've got it on a VHS cassette but don't now have the equipment to be able to copy it or even play it (that is if it's still playable!)

Ping

[gbrjl1]

Hi All,

Found this thread about the rescue of the two man crew of Boatfile, one of whom was my Dad, on this ID (Now A PPL Holder with 400hrs). So my Dad is eternally grateful for efforts of the SAR personnel on the day who participated in a difficult and dangerous rescue, and without them, I would not be here, and would not get to fly with my Dad in our Piper PA15. The date was May 8th 1981. He has a copy of an article about it (written in Yachting Monthly), which I can attach in another post if wanted.

Hope this helps :D

K Williams
(son of A R Williams)

PA15 G-BRJL