Under Starters orders

[Kharon]

Well folks, they are under starters orders for the feature event today here in Sydney. The betting has been restrained due the persistent rumour that there was some out of town interfere with the running of this popular event, despite no evidence being found. Although there has been no direct link made to organised crime, the public have been a little reluctant to place a bet.

The present TOTE odds are not available due to a technical hitch at the Canberra money laundering centre, however, in the bookies ring here on track the crowd is settling in to enjoy this long awaited event.

1 HUNS REVENGE 6/1
2 MAL FEASENCE 4/1
3 EGG ON FACE 3/1
4 SHAMBOLLIC 3/2
5 JACKS JOY 13/2
6 HARDLY A CLUE EVENS
7 INUTILE LAD 33/1
8 DUBIOUS DAN SCR
9 STATUS QUO 2/1
10 XYLOPHONE 25/1
11 MERRY MARTIN 3/2
12 FIGHTING CHANCE 4/1
13 COMPENSATION KID 10/1.

News from the trainers, late scratching Dubious Dan is not expected to race again having succumbed to the dreaded 'Fibitus' which has cost his stable so many races this year. Although Inutile Lad has had problems finding his way around the track in training due to 'Purblindness' his connections seem enjoy the dubious honour of always finishing last.

Our commentary will commence on the race after these messages from our sponsors.

[QSK?]

For the life of me, what the hell are you talking about?

[PLovett]

Perchance the ATT hearing on AERTEX (or however it is spelt) v CASA?

[Kharon]

QSK, apologies. There is a very serious dust up on the AAT at the moment, one which the GA industry should be watching closely. Not the rights and wrongs of the case, but for the educational benefit of watching how things are done (or not), how the system you pay for works when things essentially get out of control and finish up in the courts system.

Some of the legal wrangling would make a sane man weep, some of the manipulations make your head spin, some of it is worthy of a serious novel.

Anyway, for those interested in just what your up against and how your administrative authority operates, it's probably worth the time.

You never know when your letter will turn up.

[QSK?]

Thanks Kharon but can you provide any more details as to the name of the hearing before the AAT so that I can follow up to review?

[RatsoreA]

I'll drop a lobster on Huns revenge for the win thanks!

[PLovett]

16/11/2010

Senior Member Egon Fice

Hearing Room 4, Level 5, 55 Market Street, SYDNEY, NSW, 2000

10:00AM Hearing - Resumed
2010/3553 RE Avtex Air Services Pty Limited and Civil Aviation Safety Authority



The AAT is a joke when it comes to hearings like this which can seriously affect a person's work and income. It really is "Rafferty's Rules" with unsubstantiated allegations allowed and no proper rules of evidence governing what is allowed or not.

[Kharon]

And, they're racing, aaand - off to good start is Jacks Joy, there could be a protest here as Hardly a Clue attempted a shoulder charge, there's no love between these two. Egg on Face seems to slow to start, obviously unfamiliar with the track and some of the hurdles which are new to this race, he's been around a while and you have to wonder if the legs are as fresh as they used to be. (Pause for breath).

Huns Revenge is settling down and looks as though the journey over the fences today will not trouble, provided it gets a clean run he should be there at the finish line. Mal Feasence is looking to get an early rails run and it looks like Shambollic is running interference for his stable mate, there have been many long loud protests lodged with Stewards over the racing tactics this pair.

Approaching the first turn now it's Jacks Joy ahead of Hardly a Clue followed by Merry Martin, Mal Feasence, Shambollic, Fighting chance, Huns Revenge and Egg on Face. Fighting Chance is looking to get a run in towards the rails but is being held out by Status Quo, Compensation Kid is just leading Xylophone and bringing up the rear is Inutile Lad. Dubious Dan is better off in the barn, the pace is starting to pick here and it's no place for a sick horse with severe Fibitus.

Oh !, a nasty moment then, Hardly a Clue has just tried to foul Jacks Joy, a sneaky low blow, in an attempt to get Shambollic into an attacking position, but Jacks Joy has avoided the low blow and dances clear of the scrum, Shambollic lost a good length in that nasty bit of work. Shortly we will be approaching the swampy ground and the first of the high fences. The first aptly named fence, High Jump Dip

Well folks, there's still some distance to travel and the newly moved fences may yet create havoc as the race progresses. Join us after the commercial break for the second furlong of this long, long race. After the race we will have a special interview with connections of Mal Feasence and Inutile Lad. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/infopop/icons/icon7.gif

[geeup]

Is it to late to slap a wager on or should I look up centerbet? :E

[Kharon]

Due to the special circumstances created by the excesses of the Canberra money laundering machine, it is still possible to offer all (except those prevented by paragraph a) punters a special deal. You can get a bet on now, until just before the final hurdle is approached.

Stop press : From the track; info for our special clients, it appears that the jockey of Egg on Face has taken a severe list toward the dark side (as predicted by Merry Martins jockey) , however, Jacks Joy has intimidated the unruly animal back to just slightly to the right of the centre line, despite the vaguely distracting screaming noise heard coming from the direction of the Star Chamber.

You pays ya money and takes your pick.

Tell me I said pick. ??, is it on ??. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/infopop/icons/icon7.gif

[Howard Hughes]

Thanks to a favourable barrier draw, Huns Revenge should have the inside running...

[Kharon]

Good call Jim.

Talk about the Silence of the Lambs being scary eh.

It makes you wonder, in a kind of quiet, arse scratchin' kind of way, don't it?.

[apache]

$100 quinella, HUNS REVENGE and COMPENSATION KID...

there is NO WAY, those two can lose!

[Kharon]

Compensation Kid is a lone wolf, apparently the connections didn't have the backbone to back this champion stayer.

Ce' la vie. :D

[apache]

c'est la vie!!!!!

never ever discard a disgruntled german!!!!!!

odds for the quinella just went up then?

[Kharon]

It's the seriously pissed off Pommy 'Dark Horse' you need to watch; (late entrant). It's in the race management policy, so, it's legal.

[Simon Pieman]

Well writ that man(?)
That is one of the funniest things I have read for yonks.
Congrats and keep em coming!!!!!!!:ok::ok::ok:

[Kharon]

Now ah, as the horses approach High Jump Dip now it's Jacks Joy closely followed by Hardly a Clue, Shambollic and Mal Feasence a stride ahead of Egg on Face and Status Quo, a gap now to Huns Revenge, Fighting Chance and Merry Martin who are half length ahead of Xylophone, Compensation Kid with Inutile Lad bring up the field.


All cleanly over High Jump Dip, Inutile Lad nearly came to grieve as he ran into the back end of Xylophone and yes, there is whip raised by Xylophone signalling a protest.

Inutile Lads tactics have distracted the Stewards and they have missed the interference running of Egg on Face who travelled sideways, upsetting Jacks Joy with a cleverly timed run, this has allowed Shambollic to cross in front of Huns Revenge and lets Hardly a Clue through to block Jacks Joy rails run.


The next stretch is the infamous Heartbreak Hill with the much feared Big Costs fence. The veteran Egg on Face has managed to get a stride ahead of field as Hardly a Clue and Shambollic block Jacks Joy. Tactics at this point will be to save the horses in preparation for the jump, and although the lead horse is tiring, he has a commanding position at this time and may be able to control the race from here. His tactics must be to frustrate and tire the other runners.


At this stage leading up to the famous jump the pack is bunched up behind the leader with no chance of passing. Wait a moment, Shambollic' s rider was almost unseated by a gallant, determined push forward by Jacks Joy. In a wonderful display of horsemanship, Jacks Joy has passed Shambollic and almost pushed the jockey off the horse. Unbelievable !. the jockey of Egg on Face has leaned very far out his saddle and grabbed Shambollic 's rider by the scruff of the neck and pulled him back on board and; yes, there are the protest whips raised yet again. It's unusual to see a jockey help another in that way in a race of this class. The Stewards will need to make a ruling there.

As the pack slog it out up the hill, we leave today's live coverage for a word from our sponsors, later we have secured an exclusive interview with the connections of Jacks Joy, the popular race favourite. :D

[geeup]

Put me down for a couple of lobster on the boxed trifecta;

HUNS REVENGE 6/1
COMPENSATION KID 10/1
EGG ON FACE 3/1

And you had better give me Mystery Bet leaving it in the hands of the Gods. :}

[Kharon]

Thank you Gabby, this is Isa Peachbottom reporting from track side, I'm here with the trainer who represents the connections of today's sentimental favourite Jacks Joy, Mr Horace Rumpole. The horse is owned and managed by the famous legal company Jasper and Mason, who have, for a long time been associated with the Rafferty's Rules race series.

Mr. Rumpole, how is Jack travelling today ?.

Well Isa, (call me Horace), you have to take a broad view of the rules for the Rafferty Plate, such as they are; Jacks a Joy is a very good horse and he can hold his own in almost any company and can manage the rough and tumble of this event very well.

But it seems very rough out there today, I've never seen quite as many protests before?.

The syndicate have used an old tactic today, the notion of trying to hide their selected winner amongst a couple of rough riders working together to confuse and confound the independent horses, it wastes a lot of resources but that doesn't seem to concern them, Jack's seen a bit of that and can manage very well. Don't forget that no matter who crosses the line first, there is always the protest panel and the dreaded independent Steward inquiry after the race. Of course that there is only one steward today is of deep concern.

Now, what about the persistent rumours of race fixing by a sinister out of town crime lord ?.

Isa, there is always gossip about a race track, especially when a race like this is on, as you are aware the syndicate is always trying to prevent independent competitors and is set against clearly defined race rules. No they are not of concern in today's event. The only real concern that Jasper and Mason have is that the connections of one horse have a strong relationship with the independent steward, which could make life difficult if it's a close finish. Of course it is unlikely that this could occur, however, Jasper and Mason will be in the Stewards office after the finishing gong to ensure fair play.

Would you care to tell me which horse is of concern?.

No dearie I afraid not, but if you watch the race carefully, I'm sure you will see where the problem lays. Now if you will excuse me, I have to watch the lead up to the dreaded Big Costs. Tootle Pip.

Yes, but what am I looking for ??, Oh dear, he's gone.

[Stikybeke]

Kharon

If you're trying to make fun out of circumstances that relate to, in any way, the tragic loss of life of members of the aviation community, then I think it's in very poor taste!!!

If there is some sort of legal proceeding underway in relation to this then why not just let it take its course and post in accordance with that if its appropriate.

If I was one of these psuedonyms to whom you refer within your banter (and I'm not...nor do I know any of them personally..) then I'd be pretty disappointed with your effort.

It just makes me wonder.....

Stiky
:suspect:

[Checklist Charlie]

It makes Stiky wonder.................

It makes me laugh:D

Truth is stranger than fiction (maybe)

CC:ok:

[Captain707]

Please stop posting as this thread relates to an accident which involved the death of a friend.

Thank You

[Checklist Charlie]

Sorry Capt 707, that's no reason to stop posting on any thread.

Shared experiences are shared knowledge, no matter how they are portrayed.

CC

[DirtySanchezcousin]

The only knowledge that Kharon and Apache could share are the associated health problems from over eating.

If they spent less time on PPRUNE and more time on the treadmill they might actually be able to see their testicles again, but then again they do like to post on an anonymous forum so it might be doubtful they even have any!!!!:}

[kimwestt]

And your name is?

[gobbledock]

Interesting user name - DirtySanchezcousin. If your name is taken after the same Dirty Sanchez in the extremely enjoyable book 'Rogers Profanisaurus' then I am very concerned !

Footnote: For any wowsers or cleanskins out there don't buy the book if you are easily offended by smut or if you get off on reading Jepp charts for entertainment. Any dirty buggers out there who like 'Derk and Clive' style smut, knock yourselves out and buy a copy for Xmas, you will love it !

[apache]

I can see my testicles.

they need a bit of a manscaping, but I can see them.

[gobbledock]

Question is - How does DirtySanchezcousin know that apache allegedly can't see his dusters ? Is Sanchez a midnight prowler of sorts ? Better not leave your jocks on the clothes line Apache, Sanchez may be a snow dropper also !

Apache -When manscaping do not wax. It is much too painful. Try trimming with scissors first followed by perhaps a number 1 with the clippers. Use a gentle razor for around the dusters, and finish the job with a smoothing down with a baby lotion, especially for sensitive skin. Your missus will love it, and if you are single well your hand will be most appreciative !

Next weeks tip - anal bleaching !

[DirtySanchezcousin]

Gobbledock, thanks for sharing the experience and the knowledge, this is exactly what the readers of this forum want. ( Isn't that right Checklist Charlie?)

The theme holds about as much relevance as the rest of the tripe that is posted on this forum!!!!!

[Kharon]

Thank you Isa. No more bets now, now back to race as we watch the final stages of the Heartbreak Hill section, this section leads up to Big Cost jump. Aficionados of the race both love and hate this fence. The jockeys need to anticipate not only when the fence will move, but in which direction. Bad timing and poor judgement have caused many a leading horse to loose distance, and the remaining up hill battle to the finish makes it difficult to catch the horse who gets it right.

Into the decision area now with Hardly a Clue and Jacks Joy neck and neck a short head behind Egg on Face, closely followed by Merry Martin, Status Quo and Huns Revenge in a bunch with a length to Fighting Chance, Compensation Kid; Mal Feasence is in gap alone ahead of the rest. Shambollic and Inutile Lad have dropped back and seem content to keep the dust clouds covering Xylophone who has just slipped to the back of the pack, he'll have a hard time seeing the desperately tricky jump if he doesn't get a clear view and unimpeded run in the famous bull dust cloud which trails the horses on this course.

At the jump now, Egg on Face with exquisite timing has spotted the moving fence and sailed over a clear length ahead of Jacks Joy, Hardly a Clue and Merry Martin who made up ground. As the fence shifts, Huns Revenge is attacking from a strong position and yes, a brilliant jump over the fence in it's toughest position, Status Quo, Fighting chance and Compensation Kid all made clean jumps, can they stay the remaining distance is the question their backers will be asking.

Shambollic is clearly tiring, looking for an easy run at the jump in company with Inutile Lad and Xylophone. and yes a very lucky break there, the fence has stopped moving and appears to be stuck in its lowest possible position, Xylophone with an great effort has manage to land ahead of Shambollic as Inutile Lad drops back a pace looking for a chance. Oh no! the fence has just shot up too its highest position, Inutile Lad has raced straight into it, well he didn't see that one coming. The Jockey is walking away looking dazed.

Back to race as they fly along the finishing straight, you couldn't throw a blanket over the first four runners, as they cross the line for a photo finish, Egg on Face, Huns Revenge, Hardly a Clue and Jacks Joy, all a short head of the remaining runners. What a race!.

For our tender hearted listeners, Inutile Lad is being attended to by the Vets. Back to the studio after this break for our panel of experts discussion. It will be interesting to hear some intelligent, reasoned views on today's Raffetry's Plate.

[Kharon]

The report on today's race was brought to free of charge by our anonymous sponsors.

They have dedicated today's coverage to the memory John Hamilton, Andrew Wilson and Kathy Sheppard all deeply missed by their friends and comrades in exile.

Real pilots flew the 'missing man' formations dedication to 'Johnno' and 'Loose', real people will attend the memorial for Kathy, people who really care about this industry are out there, every day, just pulling their weight.

We wish them God Speed and tailwinds.

Selah.

[unregistereddog]

;)is there to be a stewards enquiry?
Was "Bottled Blonde" a ring in?
Will "Hand Wringer" overcome "Worry Wart"?
Is there any truth in a rumour about feed supplements for "Benign Ruler"?
When can we expect answers to these important questions?

[Kharon]

Well the shouting has died down and the crowd is anxiously watching the results board. That was as close a photo finish as we have ever seen, going to tough for the Steward. This was a landmark race in many ways. For the statistically mined that was the longest distance the Rafferty's Plate has been run over, 14 gruelling sections and 6 moveable jumps.

Technically, very interesting, there are literally miles of tape to watch, this can of course be purchased from your nearest authorised provider. Those who are interested in rough racing should purchase a copy from the nearest authorised outlet. True devotees of this sport and industry professionals should make all efforts to study the race. Some of the tactics used were novel, and in some areas unique. A must see for all serious professionals. We will be broadcasting some sections of the race over the next rating period.

The protests have all been heard now:

The connections of Dubious Dan have been interviewed. Apparently (and this is only horse stall gossip) the late scratching had little to do with horses health. Allegations of attempting to manipulate the betting odds with the late withdrawal forced the local bookies to readjust the betting significantly. The syndicate have in the past simply put the horse out to pasture, however, if the allegations can be proven, don't be surprised to the knackers van parked at Syndicate headquarters.

Looks like the owners of Shambollic are facing disqualification from Rafferty's Rules racing, the protest committee decided that whereas the rules are not cast in stone and almost anything goes, some of the tactics employed were too rich even for the Rafferty Plate.

It is doubtful Inutile Lad will race again, this is the second major pile up for this horse, and the syndicated owners may not be prepared to run this horse again in a high stakes race. His affectionate strappers, Peaches and Cream, are administering lots of TLC in an attempt to prevent an outbreak nervous rashes and Purblindness, which the horse is said to be prone to. The Jockey is facing disciplinary hearing related to various alleged riding offences.

Xylophone' s connections when interviewed after their protest was heard, have said that although they are prepared to continue racing, they will need to do a lot of homework to understand the way the Rafferty's Rules racing operates, they bemoaned the lack of clear definition within the rules for fouls, bet fixing and interference running, they also said that the bull dust caused serious problems for their runner.

As we said earlier, the Steward has hundreds of hours of tape to watch before a clear winner can be decided, it was a tough long race and the Steward must evaluate all the protests, race rules (such as they are) and decide which horse won. Good luck to the Steward.

Hang on to your betting slips till Christmas. That's the betting on getting a clear result.

[DirtySanchezcousin]

Due to dementia, caused by over-eating Kharon has been hospitalised to a month of shock treatment, causing a case of deathly silence.

Due to his illness he has been stood down.

It was never a photo finish. As the horses turned into the straight, there were only four that could be seen:


Hardly a Clue
Inutile lad
Mal Feasance
Dubios DanAccording to the steward "At the 1300m mark , Fighting chance fellover, causing kaos, taking out Jacks Joy, Huns Revenge and every other horse in that stable"

Merry Martin thought he had race fitness to the run distance, but unfortunately he has been disqualified, because he Just did not know the RULES.

The steward has just reported that Jacks Joy and Huns Revenge have had to be put down due to broken legs from tripping on a stray CHAMBER POT lodged in the track. I am guessing the "BUSH LAWYERS" will be taking a long hard look at that.

As I turn back to the straight I only see the same four horses, all from the same stable and all showing great strength to the finish line.

The steward Egg on Face ( mistaken by Kharon to be a horse):confused: has called correct weight!
From the crowd " Kharon we hope you recover quickly and can enjoy some more time on the COUCH"