EK Management
11th Mar 2010, 19:07
Attention Emirates Pilots.
Nearly two years have elapsed since our last post. We strongly suggest that for those of you who have not read our previous truths, you do so now. Read, digest, and then recoil in frightful awe at that cold feeling rising in your stomach. That’s dread, wrapped in shock and gripped tightly in a fist of fear. And you had better get used to it.
You are up against an implacable foe, one that has no morals and no interest in you or your wellbeing. See a previous truth with reference to eating razor blades for breakfast.
Now that we have your attention, let us tell you just how things are. This is for your benefit.
It is imperative for your safety that you fully realise just how we will react at the first sign of any organised, cohesive resistance. Your I.P. address will be tracked, your briefing rooms will be bugged, your phones will be monitored and we will make use of our network of pliant informers. Yes, they walk amongst you. An unexpected knock at the door will result in your incarceration and your family being evicted and deported with little or no notice. Get one thing through your confused and frightened mind. The laws that you so often fondly mention from your countries of origin do not apply here. You are beyond their reach. Trust us when we say ‘you do not want to walk with the fallen here’.
Our way is clear. We rule by fear, have always done so and will continue such. By the rising murmurings on that infantile gossip site, PPRUNE, it would appear that your fear levels are increasing. This is good. It makes you more pliable, more confused, and more distracted. How we laugh when we discern how impotently angry you are when you discover that fellow colleagues who resign can earn 50% or more than you! Whilst you, the loyal ones, receive nothing more than a metaphorical spit in the face. We detest loyalty. It shows nothing but weakness. Unless of course that loyalty is to oneself. That, we excel at. We have discovered the perfect system. A couple of extra coins thrown at the feet of a few, whilst the vast majority continues working ever harder, for ever less. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? But do not confuse our laughter for joviality. Do not think you can approach us with any of your concerns. Rather, think of us as a guillotine over every one of you, waiting to smite your head from your shoulders. We should get on just fine.
We understand that many of you think you can now personally adjust your rosters so you do less than the mandated 92 hours. Do you have a tear in your eye over the old 78 hour overtime limit? We can’t stop laughing. Even that limit was substantially higher than any other reputable flag carrier. But make no mistake. You will do 92 hours a month, even if it kills you. That is a price we are prepared to pay. How can we enforce this? Easy. Your sick leave of 14 days per year will be rigidly enforced. Any sickness over that will result in no pay. Your ability to self certificate is going to be removed. And the best one of all. We are going to implement a minimum hour’s threshold; undertime, if you will. Say, 85 hours. You will only get your full ordinary monthly salary on completion of an 85 hour month. Any less and you will be severely financially penalised. We can’t lose.
You are going to be regularly and arbitrarily given blocks of four days leave. These are really days off, but it will reduce our leave bank. As was just mentioned; we can’t lose.
Do you really think you are going to be able to force any changes? Do you think things are going to get better for you?
Now read the title of the post again. You have been warned.
Thank you. Keep up the hard work. You have no option.
EK Management.
Nearly two years have elapsed since our last post. We strongly suggest that for those of you who have not read our previous truths, you do so now. Read, digest, and then recoil in frightful awe at that cold feeling rising in your stomach. That’s dread, wrapped in shock and gripped tightly in a fist of fear. And you had better get used to it.
You are up against an implacable foe, one that has no morals and no interest in you or your wellbeing. See a previous truth with reference to eating razor blades for breakfast.
Now that we have your attention, let us tell you just how things are. This is for your benefit.
It is imperative for your safety that you fully realise just how we will react at the first sign of any organised, cohesive resistance. Your I.P. address will be tracked, your briefing rooms will be bugged, your phones will be monitored and we will make use of our network of pliant informers. Yes, they walk amongst you. An unexpected knock at the door will result in your incarceration and your family being evicted and deported with little or no notice. Get one thing through your confused and frightened mind. The laws that you so often fondly mention from your countries of origin do not apply here. You are beyond their reach. Trust us when we say ‘you do not want to walk with the fallen here’.
Our way is clear. We rule by fear, have always done so and will continue such. By the rising murmurings on that infantile gossip site, PPRUNE, it would appear that your fear levels are increasing. This is good. It makes you more pliable, more confused, and more distracted. How we laugh when we discern how impotently angry you are when you discover that fellow colleagues who resign can earn 50% or more than you! Whilst you, the loyal ones, receive nothing more than a metaphorical spit in the face. We detest loyalty. It shows nothing but weakness. Unless of course that loyalty is to oneself. That, we excel at. We have discovered the perfect system. A couple of extra coins thrown at the feet of a few, whilst the vast majority continues working ever harder, for ever less. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? But do not confuse our laughter for joviality. Do not think you can approach us with any of your concerns. Rather, think of us as a guillotine over every one of you, waiting to smite your head from your shoulders. We should get on just fine.
We understand that many of you think you can now personally adjust your rosters so you do less than the mandated 92 hours. Do you have a tear in your eye over the old 78 hour overtime limit? We can’t stop laughing. Even that limit was substantially higher than any other reputable flag carrier. But make no mistake. You will do 92 hours a month, even if it kills you. That is a price we are prepared to pay. How can we enforce this? Easy. Your sick leave of 14 days per year will be rigidly enforced. Any sickness over that will result in no pay. Your ability to self certificate is going to be removed. And the best one of all. We are going to implement a minimum hour’s threshold; undertime, if you will. Say, 85 hours. You will only get your full ordinary monthly salary on completion of an 85 hour month. Any less and you will be severely financially penalised. We can’t lose.
You are going to be regularly and arbitrarily given blocks of four days leave. These are really days off, but it will reduce our leave bank. As was just mentioned; we can’t lose.
Do you really think you are going to be able to force any changes? Do you think things are going to get better for you?
Now read the title of the post again. You have been warned.
Thank you. Keep up the hard work. You have no option.
EK Management.