In A Crewroom, Long, Long Ago! [Archive]

Pontius Navigator

28th Sep 2009, 19:30

As V-Force QRA was a 5-man crew we needed a special uckers board. Someone made a superb 5-leg board. It was hugely different from the 4-man game. While a 4-man game could last 20-30 minutes a 5-man game typically lasted 2 1/2 hours.

One night we had two guest crew members from another crew until our own crew members returned. One came back at 9pm and the other gone 10.

The 2 stand-ins from another crew remained to battle out the game while we all repaired to the mess and to bed. The game held more attracations that than a comfy bed and a hot body :p

Union Jack

28th Sep 2009, 19:35

The 2 stand-ins from another crew remained to battle out the game while we all repaired to the mess and to bed. The game held more attractions that than a comfy bed and a hot body

Whatever turns you on PN - presumably it depends on whose bed and whose body!

Jack

Rossian

28th Sep 2009, 19:48

...In the all-ranks club at Comnavsouth at a games night some SOB paired me with the ADMIRAL against a couple of killicks. They were wiping the floor with us and there was lots of smirking as I failed even to "Chesty-chest" to get started. His admiralship was getting grumpier by the minute and questioning whether I'd ever played "this bloody game before". The honour of the RAF was at stake. And then my luck changed; I threw an unbroken run of sixes, blew both killicks back to the start, rolled up the admiral's counters with mine and had a clean run home. Phew!!

Sometimes on 210 at Ballykelly one had to queue to get a seat at the board in the crew-room, and sometimes most of the squadron stood around to barrack. There would be a collective intake of breath as a hand reached for a piece - "Fuzzy thinking" was the cry. Broke the confidence of many a strong man. Psychological warfare it was, I tell 'ee.

They wouldn't believe you nowadays.

The Ancient Mariner

scarecrow450

28th Sep 2009, 19:51

At the 'Slipit Inn'(GRSF's fantastic bar) at MPA, we played to lose as the losers had to down Applecorn or Whisky. As us mortals were'nt allow to buy spirits it was worth losing !!!!!!
:ok:

handysnaks

28th Sep 2009, 20:44

ludo is still ludo no matter how much jolly jack tries to convince you otherwise:p

Tankertrashnav

28th Sep 2009, 21:39

Seem to remember a card game called Kirky (spelling?) which reigned jointly in the crewroom with uckers. Sort of whist with different hands such as mizaire, hunt the c**t etc, but its all a bit vague now. Occupied many happy standby hours.

FJJP

28th Sep 2009, 22:18

Ah! Yes! Brings back memories - the yell 'syph on his donk' rang throughout the Squadron and you knew someone was in trouble!

x213a

28th Sep 2009, 22:37

I was uckers champ of the Med 97-98:ok:

Dan Winterland

29th Sep 2009, 02:30

Great. "Official" rules of uckers! Whose rules? Commendable trying to bring it on line, but it's going to create some serious arguments

x213a

29th Sep 2009, 02:48

"Up table!"
"Timber-shifting &^****!":ok:

Wensleydale

29th Sep 2009, 07:06

The problem with sitting in a crewroom these days is that some senior will walk in and instantly give you a job - regardless of what you are doing. Playing Uckers became an invitation to some long arduous and usually boring task that led to no gratification whatsoever. The result is that few crewrooms are now used as everyone rushes in, grabs a coffee and then departs to shut themselves ointo their office to show how busy they all are.

I would be interested to see if the card games and uckers return, but I am afraid that, like a busy Officers' Mess bar in mid-week, they are a thing of the past.

peterperfect

29th Sep 2009, 07:22

Tankertrash.
You are probably thinking of Euchre, which is a pub card game favoured particularly in the west country and adopted by the services ? try wiki/google for rules. Top card is the benny (adapted from german 'Bauer'), with left and right etc.

Akrotiri bad boy

29th Sep 2009, 07:30

Oh the shame of being caught up in a mixy blob!:{

bast0n

29th Sep 2009, 07:55

ludo is still ludo no matter how much jolly jack tries to convince you otherwise

Handysnacks - that is as sensible as saying sex is all handysnacks and nothing more..........................:)

Suckback double three..............

Ah now Euchre, a really skillful game.................:ok:

Motleycallsign

29th Sep 2009, 08:05

Happy memories of the crewroom in Guetersloh waiting for an 'Alma Cogan' or a 'one at one on'. And also remember ' Kirky' and another card game called 'Clag' but don't ask me how to play now 30 odd yrs dulls the memory!!!!!!!!!

Pontius Navigator

29th Sep 2009, 08:23

I'm with TankerTrash.

First came across kerky in the Hastings crew room at Lindholme. The kerchy school would open the moment the crew room filled up from morning prayers. As aircraft came up and people left, others would take over. 6 hours or so later the game would still be running, different people but still running. People like Merv Parry and Dolly Grey.

At 5 the school would relocate to the bar where the old salts, or whatever you called old truckie drivers, would continue with the odd phone call from one of the wives "your dinner will be in the dog if you don't get home NOW."

NRU74

29th Sep 2009, 08:26

Seem to remember a card game called Kirky
It's Kierke which is apparently Polish for 'Hearts'
Six 'deficit' hands - All the Hearts,King of Hearts,Kings and Jacks,7th and last, Misere,can't remember the last one -was it 'all the Queens'?
Four benefit hands.
We put the winnings and losses in the Bridge Book

Clag - most difficult hand to play was 'resting on arms reversed' either 'blind' or 'rolling' or even 'rolling blind' or even 'misere'

Mick Strigg

29th Sep 2009, 08:38

Not often heard, was the call of "CONDOM":

Come Out, Nip Down Over Mixi

But whenever it happened a cheer went up in the crewroom.

Maxibon

29th Sep 2009, 09:04

Uckers was a great game but by far the more frustrating game was Acey Deucey - the most aggressive form of backgammon. Happy days...

3D CAM

29th Sep 2009, 10:08

Rules????? In uckers??????
On the back of the board!!:D
3D

Data-Lynx

29th Sep 2009, 10:42

PP. In the days of 771 Sqdn when it was still resident at Portland, the old soaks of the Ark Royal flight would initiate the youngsters in the delights of advanced Uckers, Euchre and Crib'.

We were occasionally good enough to be allowed up the rock into the pubs in Easton and Weston to play the locals at Euchre. But woe betide anyone who slurred his words and laid a 'bunnie' on the table instead of the bennie. It was an instant "get yur coat and leave".

brakedwell

29th Sep 2009, 10:50

I first came across Uckers when I joined 99 sqn in 1957. As a very junior second pilot I rarely had the chance to play as the old Hairies hogged the boards!

Mick Strigg

29th Sep 2009, 11:01

The back of the board should contain a list of every "8 piece dicking" that has been done with the "8 piece (base) dicking" highlighted as a master-class in Ucking.

billynospares

29th Sep 2009, 11:22

Ah yes an eight piecer all at home !!!! Too easy is the shout. The old boy who taught me uckers had a lovely shout of " once at your f#####g reds you c##t " top of his voice during the weekly championships :ok:

country calls

29th Sep 2009, 11:27

So where is he getting all his spent ERU cratridges from then? Or is he going for the low grade sawn off bits of broom handle?

Will he be allowed to sell boards with pictures of Mary Millington, Xaviera and other sundry 70s Porn stars pasted into each corner?

Did he buy up the whole surplus stock of those square wooden tables with the corners cut off and a shelf underneath, so he could paint the boards directly onto the table top. Will he cover them in perspex and accurately crack each sheet around the screw holes?

If not it will just be a ludo set, the likes of which you can get from Mr Waddington any old day of the week.

bast0n

29th Sep 2009, 11:45

Ah the joy, when in Culdrose SAR in the 60s, and your game was falling apart, the scramble came and you could accidentally up board with the toe of your two piece goonsuit. If you were winning on the other hand one could always let the grockles hang on to the cliff for another twenty minutes........... :ok:

x213a

29th Sep 2009, 13:34

Anybody know of the card game known in the navy as "$hit on yer oppo"?

anotherthing

29th Sep 2009, 13:48

Anybody know of the card game known in the navy as "$hit on yer oppo"?
Sounds almost as bad as the 'soggy biscuit' game the RM play :yuk:

Tankertrashnav

29th Sep 2009, 15:22

Thanks for the explanation NRU74. That last hand you cant remember was the one I referred to as "hunt the c**t" as you had to get one of the queens, maybe queen of spades, or am I thinking of a Pushkin short story?!

I live in Cornwall Peter Perfect and some of my mates play Euchre, but I've never indulged myself. Would be interesting if Kirky and Euchre were the same game.

Arty Fufkin

29th Sep 2009, 16:10

Some harsh rules in Uckers. I thought it all got a bit A-level when "touchy movey" evolved into "thinky movey"! Passed the time on my RNEFTS course all those years ago.

Audax

29th Sep 2009, 16:53

I well recall a potential Uckers player being thrown out of the crewroom window for arguing about the rules before the game had even started:ok:

x213a

29th Sep 2009, 17:06

I've seen inter-mess feuds erupt over disagreements on the more finer points of the game. Many of the problems occurred when WAFUS couldnt agree on WAFU rules. Ive seen blood drawn over an attempted "bendy-blowback whilst playing skimmer rules.
Potentially, uckers can be more dangerous than deck-hockey!

Chugalug2

29th Sep 2009, 17:37

NRU74:
It's Kierke which is apparently Polish for 'Hearts'

Indeed, and like Pontious Navigator I observed (though never participated in) the ever continuing game in Hastings and Hercules Crewrooms (Changi and Fairford mainly for me). We still had Polish aircrew in my time. Victor F***** comes to mind, who used to charge German tanks on horseback for a living until they told him he could pack it in and embark for France, just in time for the fall of that country. Thence legged it over the Pyrenees, was arrested by the Spanish, escaped and evaded them via La Linea to the Brits in Gibraltar. When told that they had no vacancies for Cavalry Officers agreed to train as a Bomber Pilot, though he had remustered to Navigator by my time. Very typical of the larger than life characters from Eastern Europe that leave the RAF the poorer now they are gone. Hopefully some of their culture, such as Kierke, still survive in it.

NRU74

29th Sep 2009, 17:52

Tankertrashnav
Perhaps at the V Force reunion next year, in addition to a Valiant [reception] table,Victor Bomber table,Victor Tanker table,Vulcan table,etc, we could have a Kierki table ?

x213a

29th Sep 2009, 20:41

Sod that..just put an uckers board there and let the dice speak:ok:

eagle 86

30th Sep 2009, 02:35

Aaahh - reminds me of the monumental game - HC723 RANFAA - RANAS Nowra NSW - circa 1969 - combatants Big Ted and Giffo VS the evil twosome and halves Eddie and Zork - all flying cancelled - crewroom thick with smoke - never before or since witnessed that number of pieces "illegally" going around the buoy.
Crewrooms are not the same!
GAGS
E86
Hunt the C alias Chase the P1sser alias Chase the Lady or in polite civvy circles "Hearts"

Ogre

30th Sep 2009, 02:56

I'll admit making my own uckers board when I left the mob, primarily so when ex-mob mates came to visit we had something to play and tell stories around. I had to ditch the board when we moved downunder, but made a new one when I got here!Before I left the UK I was chatting to an ex-REME bloke who worked in the same office as me, and to cut a long story short we ended up organising a game of uckers one lunchtime. Half way through we were getting into the spirit of things, and also getting a few comments from passersby. At one point one of the senior managers wandered past and stopped to watch. After a couple of minutes silence he quite seriously asked "do you reckon we could get a fourfor?" Unfortunately we could not find the elusive fourth member.

Rigex

30th Sep 2009, 07:26

I remember a large hexagonal board while on 360 (early '70's), specially constructed to enable more participants on detachment flights. I think it gradually fell into disuse because a game never got finished, even if played continuously during the entire time taken to trundle in a Herc from Cottesmore to Akrotiri.

benmac

30th Sep 2009, 08:22

I'm so old that my QRA days started with B6 Canberras at Coningsby in 1960. Being a 3-man crew we had to have a compatible card game to fill the stand-by hours. It was called "Sergeant Major" and here are the basic rules: The deal rotates between the players; the dealer deals 16 cards to each player and deals 4 in the centre (the box). The dealer adds the box to his dealt hand and discards 4 cards of his choosing to improve the shape of his hand. The dealer then declares trumps and his norm for tricks is 8. The player on the dealer's left has a norm of 5 and the third player a norm of 3. The number of tricks made above or below a norm is that player's + or - score for the deal. The deal passes to the next player but before he uses the box, the pluses and minuses from the previous deal are satisfied by the plus player passing the lowest card of a suit to the minus player in exchange for the highest card he holds in that suit until all the pluses and minuses hav been cancelled out.
Still with me? The game continues until someone reaches an accumulated score of +/- 20.

x213a

30th Sep 2009, 14:19

Having made an uckers board is the mark of a real man. I have two under my belt.
Is it ethical to fit an uckers board with "guard rails"? Thus preventing "cocky die" scenarios brought about by ship roll?

My take on it is - real uckers players dont need to rely on such crutches.

Motleycallsign

30th Sep 2009, 14:43

That would be bending the 'rule' of not keeping the die on the International Playing Surface (IPS) and therefore forfeiting the turn IMHO.

Gainesy

30th Sep 2009, 15:42

Somone mentioned that the card game "Kerchy" played a lot at Lindholme might be Polish--it could well be, as quite a few of the Master Aircrew at BCBS in the early 1960s were Polish. There was also a sizeable Polish population in Doncaster.

Cornish Jack

30th Sep 2009, 17:22

Ah yes, Kierke!!
84 Sqn crewroom, Khormaksar, in the 50s. Kierke school in full swing on AOC's inspection day. Cry from down the corridor - "He's here!" ... response - "tell him to p*ss off, all seats taken!" Magic game:ok::ok:

Chugalug2

30th Sep 2009, 18:27

Gainsey:
Somone mentioned that the card game "Kerchy"..... might be Polish
So it would seem:
Rules of Card Games: Kierki (http://www.pagat.com/compendium/kierki.html)
So if an AOC or anyone else queries why you should be playing Kierki rather than doing an Inventory Check or some other secondary duty, look them sternly in the eye and point out that you are keeping alive RAF heritage! You never know, it might work. :ok:

Saintsman

30th Sep 2009, 20:26

I remember in the days of pay parades, games of three card brag where having just got it, some people would lose all their money in one evening. There was always someone who would go blind every hand....

And the arguements of whether 3 aces or 3 threes was the higher.

Crash was a bit more civilised but I've never seen that played anywhere else.

taxydual

30th Sep 2009, 21:42

Wow, has this thread brought back memories!!

'Uckers' at Dishforth ATC.

'Risk' at Topcliffe ATC.

Butch Weilding (the Master) telling 'Tank' Sherman (RN), who wanted to fly, to 're-arrange a well known phrase or saying' at prayers one day. ( The weather was dog****, and Butch was on a winning streak).

And we got paid at the end of the month!!! Magic

GPMG

30th Sep 2009, 22:18

I have seen proper strops and fists thrown just because a 'tank rush' was forced from quietly smouldering Australasia deep into the depths of Russia (Kamchatka) and into the US to stop the owners from claiming their due armies.

Risk: One of the best games for hidden truces, skulduggery, and finding a person’s true nature. Nothing beats a game of Risk with competetive ' friends' after closing time. Total domination is the best version.