New and Worried

[newandworried]

hello there just looking for some advice. i am having my first lesson tomorrow and teribly worried i am being selfish. i have 2 children who are really really close to me they are 4 and 3 and i really want to learn how to fly but feel i am putting their future in jeopardy just to satisfy my craving. did any of you feel that and how did you deal wiith it? i have just put my eldest to bed and could have cried , seeing him so happy with his dad and worrying if i crashed and died i would take that bond away forever.

keith

[Blink182]

There is probably more chance of you having an accident on the roads on the way to or from the airfield .

[Crash one]

You can't wrap yourself in cotton wool for the rest of your life.
My wife had a stroke 7 yrs ago & I'm all she's got to look after her.
She encouraged me to fly, "While you have the chance", didn't take much encouragement mind. It isn't as life threatening as the press would have us believe.

[GearDownFlaps]

Dont be daft , in 50 hrs time they will be wanting to come up and watch dad fly and enjoy the experience as much as you will, this will lead unfortunately to you having to start paying for flying lessons in 10 yrs time when they deciede they wish to become pilots .It isnt just you who is going to enjoy this experience its one thatyou will be bringing to your entire family . It is as safe as a safe thing thats safe , go forth enjoy .
good luck

[T18]

Newandworried,

Don't be worried, nothing bad will happen tomorrow, If you are a car driver, you have a far greater chance of being taken out on the roads.

It's natural to be apprehensive, but don't let it take over. Relax and enjoy the experience, there is nothing quite like it.

Your instructor will brief you on what to expect, and will talk you through whats happening during the lesson. Be aware that it is highly addictive and you will replay the whole experience over in your mind for days afterwards.

Good luck, and have fun.

T18

[gpn01]

It's not unusual - you've just had your mortality gene kick in. It happens when you realise you're doing something in life that could kill you. It simply means that you now realise that what you're doing is "risky". That's good because it means you'll be careful and consciously think about what you're doing. The real "risky" activities in life are those where you don't realise how close to the edge you're operating and it's very easy to stray across the line.

[Pilot DAR]

You can look at all kinds of statistics, and twist them to look flying dangerous, or safe realtive to many other things we do in life. Or, instead, you can approach your desired activity with a professional prepared attitude, avoid dangerous attitudes, and conditions, and probably have a great flying career.

In 33 years, and more than 5000 hours as a pilot, and thousands more as a passenger, I have never "crashed". I have never being involved in an event where a person was injured, or an aircraft damaged to the point it could not be safely flown home. Luck? many would say, and how could I argue. Early on, yup, luck.

As you progress, you learn hopefully quickly enough, to fly with a proper attitude, and competance. With that, you can stay safe. You cannot protect against everything, bad things still happen, but you sure can minimize them, and their affect, by paying attention, and doing the right thing. Read every accident report you can find, then ask youself "what am I always going to do to prevent an accident like that?".

Accidents never happen as a result of a single event, its a combination. Your job is to constantly be vigilent to prevent the multiple causes from overlaying at the same time, and allowing an accident to occur. Some call it the swiss cheese holes lining up - you know what I mean...

I frequently ask myself while flying: "is the very thing I'm doing right now, something which I could read about in an accident report later?". If so, I make darn sure those other factors (swiss cheese holes) are not going to line up, so I am reading about it! So far, so good...

Like life, you start in aviation with a full bag of luck, and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty the bag of luck.

Go for it, but remember your responsibility to your family, the rest of earth bound population, and those of us with whom you share the sky, and resist the temptation to do foolish things in planes!

Pilot DAR

[Bigglesthefrog]

Keith

I think I have seen a similar post to this some time ago and I doubted its authenticity then. However, if you are genuine about this perhaps you may consider the following.
Frankly, if you are so worried and so maternal I would forget about that lesson and buy Microsoft Flight Simulator and fly that. That way, unless the computer blows up or a meteorite sails into your house, you will be available to the little darlings for the rest of your life. When they grow up and mix with other children, they will be able to boast just how much of an exciting Dad they have!!
For goodness sake man, get a grip and if you can’t you had better sell the car because you may get hurt or worse in a car accident!
And when you wife asks you to clean the windows, you had better get a MAN in to do them as you may fall off the ladder and …..!:ugh:

[newandworried]

So you think im not a man because im worried for my kids future?:confused:

[newandworried]

Thank you for your honest replies. Pilot DAR yours was especially helpful as its opened my eyes to how im probably worrying excessively.

Bigglesthefrog i find your post a little offensive to be honest and i certainly dont like how you accuse me of not being a man. I filled a pram twice and provide for my children , im definitely a man thankyou.

[Rainboe]

I think you're not ready for flying! I wanted to answer in Biggles' vein, but I thought I would get chewed out. That was a ridiculous post. what on earth are you doing it for if you think you are going to deny your little darling a Dad? Grow up man! That is the wettest post I have ever read here. Maybe you need to mature a bit before you take to the air. Like a lot. Nobody needs to know about your reproductive proclivities! Even 2 13 year olds can outbreed you, and still be more adult than that simpering, quivering load of pathos. Unbelievable!

What did you fill a pram twice with? Tears?

[newandworried]

Rainboe,

The logic of your post escapes me. We all know flying isnt the safest thing to do in the world yet you ask someone to grow up because they have a materal pull to their children?

I am grown up, i make decisions every day and the first time i struggle with one and ask for advice i get slated?

If the aviation industry is as cold and offensive as this then perhaps im not ready to fly.

Thanls for your time.

P.S After reading your edited reply above i think you are the most immature person i have ever had the misfortune of meeting. You obviously have no children as you have no idea the emptional tug you have. If you are a father your not a very good one thats for sure.

After reading some posts on here over the last few days i was apprehensive of asking for advice here as i thought a few members were very up their own arse , you have just proved me right.:D

No i didnt fill it with tears , but i think your too young and stupid to understand what does make children with your narrow minded thoughts.

[Rainboe]

We all know flying isnt the safest thing to do in the world
If that is your belief, why are you doing it? Surely it is simple- don't do it. Aviation doesn't need you, and you don't need the risk to your children not having you bring them up. People can be kind to you and try and persuade you, but you are not ready or mature enough. Come back in 10 years. You'll hate the little sods and be ready to do it, come what may.

I know what makes children. It was quite fun I recall. My 3 are grown and flown. And I will be flying with one of them this weekend. And I'm a grandfather, and I fly for a living, and I haven't burst into tears at the thought one of my grandchildren might be denied a grandfather because of my professional flying duties! And I am immature enough to be a 747, 737 and 757 Captain for 20 years! And I have no sympathy for quivering lower lips.

[newandworried]

Thats just where you are wrong. I wont hate the little sods as they are my flesh and blood. you are very judgemental saying im not mature enough. You know nothing about me so dont presume.

Do you have children? If not stop commenting on mine as you have NO IDEA!

WHO SAYS IM QUIVERING AND SHAKING??????

I hope you are happy inside with your perfect life as obviously you know everything?

If getting to fly them aircraft you mention means being a grumpy, arrogant, offensve narrow minded twirp like you then your welcome to it.

What an arsehole!

[Bigglesthefrog]

Keith

Read my post, where does it actually say you are not a man. And your reply regarding your ability to fill a pram is ridiculous. As if anyone would see fathering two children as anything special. I would bet that most people on this forum have children, I have three of them and six grandchildren and that's some pram!
When children grow up they want to have a father that they can look up to who is interesting and has some spirit of adventure. Unfortunatley the society that we live in today wants to roll up all children in cotton wool and sadly some of the parents fall into this category too.
I still don't think your post is serious, but if it is, please give some consideration to changing your wimpish attitude for the sake of your own personal enjoyment and your children's balanced upbringing.

[Munnyspinner]

New and worried, Rainboe has a well deserved reputation to keep up. But, I think he is probably right.

Despite your apparent desire to become airborne you really don't sound ready or mentally prepared. Human factors can play a big part in any accident and worry and stress are often contributory factors. Hiding behind your moniker "New and worried" only serves to underline your fear that something awful will happen. If that is how you feel then I would suggest that you postpone you flight tomorrow until you can get to grips with this. Otherwise it will affect you training and, potentially, your safety.

Why do you feel you are being selfish? Are you committing money to do something you always wanted to do but feel you are denying your kids something? Are you really afraid of dying? Are there underlying worries that are only surfacing now?

Bottling up problems only serves to harm other people and bringing this to a forum suggest that you haven't articulated your fears to your nearest and dearest.Until you can put your two boys to bed at night without having premonitions of disaster perhaps you should leave aviation alone.

Take you family along tomorrow, explain to the boys that this is something Dad has always wanted to do, that it is safer than crossing the road, and get them enthused! They will soon be looking forward to a jaunt in the aeroplane and you will feel better about yourself. It's only a lesson. Do you think your instructor has this fear everytime he leaves his family in the morning - I Blinking well hope not! Yet he is sitting next to an absolute novice to whom he will voluntarily hand control of the aircraft!

I don't think you feelings are necessarily at all normal and yes, I do have kids and yes I have taken them flying and yes they love aeroplanes too. No I have never felt as you describe and I have been flying since 1979 and and fly regularly as a passenger as well as PIC on a range of big and small aircraft. I have made numerous PAN calls over the years as a result of various technical problems and one mayday as a result of a mid flight fire. This was extinguished and we made a safe emergency landing. In the same time I have had one minor road accident but, I would regard aviation as much safer than driving.

[d88]

As a newbie myself with only a few hours supervised under my belt , I can honestly say it's probably one of the best decisions I've made is to get into the left hand seat of a light aircraft and take control of it , even if it is only a few minutes at a time for the moment. The one thing you can't have imo is doubts of any kind ,as once you're in the air you must be confident enough and focused enough to concentrate on the task in hand, but this is only your first lesson so the instructor won't force you to take the controls or expect you to do anything you don't feel up to.

As for safety ... well if you are worried about that then why drive a car .. or walk across roads ? There's a risk in every action we take in life all we can do is minimise that risk to the absolute minimum and that's why to obtain your wings you have to undertake all those exams , hours of flights and pass a medical. If It is unduly worrying you though, maybe you should resolve any issues you have with flying before committing ?

[newandworried]

My kids have an exciting father. I do lots of varied things with them. They never go short, have 2-3 holidays per year, have a big house to make untidy, they have the lot. I wouldnt call being worried, wimpish

Perhaps it is if i was as perfect as you and that other retard rainboe

Never mind, i am going on the lesson and will post up my thoughts and future experiences on a forum that doesnt try to ridicule you.

Bye

[PPRuNe Towers]

Attention seeking troll