NZ on the move!

[Peter Fanelli]

WELLINGTON, New Zealand — Southern New Zealand has moved slightly closer to the east coast of neighboring Australia as a result of a massive earthquake last week off the country's South Island, a scientist said Wednesday.
The magnitude 7.8 quake, centered in the ocean near Resolution Island in the country's Fiordland region, twisted South Island out of shape and moved its southern tip 12 inches (30 centimeters) closer to Australia, seismologist Ken Gledhill said.



Any engineering types think of a way to put NZ well and truly back in it's place?
:E

[Horatio Leafblower]

World first:

landmass attempts to emigrate away from its own people ... :hmm:

[remoak]

Or - better yet - further away? :}

[glekichi]

Wouldn't it be nice if Trans-tasman airfares dropped accordingly!

(As long as they don't start routing TT flights into Invercargill :} )

[j3pipercub]

Give it time, the entire south island LANDMASS will be in Bondi, dole bludging :}

j3

[Jabawocky]

PF...... you asked for a QUALIFIED comment......................

Nuke the FECKERS!!!!!:}

If it does not move them back 12 inches..............who cares:}:}:}

...............all my k1w1 mates.......... I luves ya!

[haughtney1]

Jabawocky, in order to do any Nuke damage mate..the ADF would need to steal a few "special" devices.....
A big step up from bread theft.....:}

[Lineboy4life]

Jabawocky -

...............all my k1w1 mates..........

yet yer profile states your from Godzone?

[Bullethead]

From the other end of the Shaky Isles. :eek: :}

Subject: Otara Earthquake

A major earthquake, measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Otara, Auckland, in the early hours of last Thursday morning.
News of the disaster was swiftly spread by the distressed barking of the area's 35,000 unchipped Dobermans, Pitbulls, Staffies and various unidentifiable cross-breeds, while dazed victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fukinhell", "wowozat?" and "orsum bro".

Many locals were visibly distressed to have been woken before their DPB arrived.

The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99.99 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and the Otahuhu station car park were damaged beyond repair.
Three acres of historically important burnt-out cars were thrown into chaos.
Radio Manukau reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting happened in Otara.

One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tarara Boum te Ae, said "I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day." Rising to the challenge, locals were determined to carry on business as usual, and lootings, muggings and car crime continued virtually without interruption.

Relief Efforts:

Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit
books, jewellery from The Warehouse and bone china from the $2 Shop. So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4,000 cartons of Lion Red (beer) to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

CAN YOU HELP?????? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster. Clothing and footware is needed most of all - especially:

* Baseball caps

* Hoodies

* Tracksuit tops (his or hers)

* White sport socks

* Nike shoes or white gumboots

* Jandals


Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, baked beans, chippies, ice-cream and cans of Mountain Dew or are ideal. Please not give anything that needs peeling.

Urgently required:
tinned dog food, and please throw in some extra cans for the hungry pit-bulls and dobermans.

Remember:

* 50 cents buys a Bic ballpoint for filling in compensation claims.

* $5 buys chips, chicken nuggets and blue fizzy drink for 5 toddlers or 3 pre-schoolers.

* $10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a child's nerves.

* $20 will buy enough tinnies to settle down the adults into their normal levels of inertia.

* $50 will buy sufficient spray cans in various colours to restore the damaged "Street Art" on shop fronts and public buildings, and to redecorate the local motorway bridges.

Do not send tents. Flash housing may cause discontent in the nearby West Auckland communities.

[haughtney1]

Pure class Bullethead!

but there is a typo in your narrative.

The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99.99 worth of damage.

This description is CLEARLY a typo...it should have read.."The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99.99 worth of IMPROVEMENTS"

[ZK-NSN]

Please not give anything that needs peeling.

Classic, absolute classic.

A big step up from bread theft
Another classic.


If it does not move them back 12 inches..............who cares thats not nice, NZ has alot to offer, Like the metric system.

[Jabawocky]

We do love our kiwi friends......... but geeez they arc up quick! :}

[codenamejames]

Could very well be spending the same currency too soon. Those 12in are just the start of closer economic relations. :\

[Ex FSO GRIFFO]

Gee James,

Hope not the currency as yet......Going (Coming?) over for the Wanaka Show next Easter and its nice to have a 'small win' with the present currency diff....

T'aint much, but it just feels 'nice'....to spend only a coupla bucks for one of those GREEAATT Deer steak sangas for brekkie.....and lunch.... :ok:

Priceless Mr Bullet!!!:D:D

[Fark'n'ell]

We do love our kiwi friends......... but geeez they arc up quick!

At least my ancestors paid for their passage to this fair country.:ok:

[morno]

Is that why you're all so poor now? :}

My ancestors were smarter than yours, and like Owen said, put a bit of thought into it and figured they only had to steal something and you got a free ride to an even fairer and better country, :ok::ok::ok:.

morno

[Lineboy4life]

Theirs only one Godzone kiddies - and it aint Dunnunda!!!

[27/09]

You silly bastard Why pay when for a bit of forethought a free trip?

If somethings worth having it's worth paying for. What does that say about Oz? ;)

[the rim]

great stuff bullet but you forgot the kiwi gravy....send tomato sauce and lots of it...they have it with everything

[AutopilotEngage]

That explains the stench,

I just moved my bed 30 cm East to counteract it.

[The Green Goblin]

AutopilotEngage
We're closer to Australia?!
That explains the stench,

I just moved my bed 30 cm East to counteract it.

We thankyou for that, the sea breeze on the east coast sure did stink the last few days!

[AutopilotEngage]

We thankyou for that, the sea breeze on the east coast sure did stink the last few days!

I blame the Waikato Draught

[kiwi chick]

Hahahaha!!

I don't know what all the fuss is about. :rolleyes: 12 inches is only tiny - my ex husband showed me.

[eeper23]

Hahahaha!!

I don't know what all the fuss is about. :rolleyes: 12 inches is only tiny - my ex husband showed me.

baaaaaaahahaa

[mattyj]

Ha..we will all be able to spot kiwi chick around base now...shes the one walking with a limp:\

[Steve Zissou]

.......:eek:

[kiwi chick]

Haha, no... I left the limp behind when I got divorced :E

[AutopilotEngage]

12 inches is only tiny

S#%t yea, thats childsplay

[The Green Goblin]

kiwi chick Hahahaha!!

I don't know what all the fuss is about. 12 inches is only tiny - my ex husband showed me.

I feel sorry for the poor bugger, the only way an aussie can get twelve inches is to fold it in half :)

[haughtney1]

No no no GG..

I feel sorry for the poor bugger, the only way an aussie can get twelve inches is to fold it in half

You mean the only way for Aussie to get twelve inches is to STEAL it..
(and it'll probably be a french loaf or stick..or something else bready) :E

[The Green Goblin]

* #31 (permalink)
haughtney1
*
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK/New Zealand
Posts: 1,632
No no no GG..

Quote:
I feel sorry for the poor bugger, the only way an aussie can get twelve inches is to fold it in half
You mean the only way for Aussie to get twelve inches is to STEAL it..
(and it'll probably be a french loaf or stick..or something else bready)

That's the pot calling the kettle black! *cough* Ansett
*

[remoak]

Why would we want to be any closer to Aussie... the place is full of stuff that will kill you. Spiders, snakes, crocs, jellyfish, Aussie wimmin, all programmed to kill. What do we have? One slightly nasty spider. That's it.

And when it isn't burning up it is flooding. And at the same time to boot. Very odd country.

In any case, it is just one big desert with bits of "civilisation" around the fringes.

Not that civilised, it turns out, because they have forgotten how to play cricket and their rugby team are a bunch of girls. They have that other form of rugby, but that isn't really rugger at all, just a Hollywood version of the real thing. Sad.

And they have CASA... and Mardi Gras...(shudder)

Nope. We don't want to get any closer to any of that. Let's find an earthquake that will shove us the other way... :}

[kiwi chick]

Poetry to my ears, Remoak... :}

[The Green Goblin]

Why would we want to be any closer to Aussie... the place is full of stuff that will kill you. Spiders, snakes, crocs, jellyfish, Aussie wimmin, all programmed to kill. What do we have? One slightly nasty spider. That's it.

And when it isn't burning up it is flooding. And at the same time to boot. Very odd country.

In any case, it is just one big desert with bits of "civilisation" around the fringes.

Not that civilised, it turns out, because they have forgotten how to play cricket and their rugby team are a bunch of girls. They have that other form of rugby, but that isn't really rugger at all, just a Hollywood version of the real thing. Sad.

And they have CASA... and Mardi Gras...(shudder)

Nope. We don't want to get any closer to any of that. Let's find an earthquake that will shove us the other way...

Said the Kiwi in the centrelink que after ten years on the mainland :P

[coconut99]

Can't you strange southern folk just get along with each other!

http://www.franksemails.com/pics/qantas-air-nz-merger.jpg

:E

[Fark'n'ell]

Remoak
Perhaps we could export a couple of volcanos to AUS and blow the feckers to smithers.

Coconut99
You have it right mate The Aussies were originally known as the sheep shaggers ,not the Kiwis.Still a common phrase in NZ Sheep shagger= Aussie:ok:

[slamer.]

LOL.......:):):)...that shut them up.