View Full Version : Which side of the Toilet Roll? Discuss....


birrddog
21st Jul 2009, 17:59
Another serious topic for which I seek the wise counsel of JetBlast.

Mrs B insists the "loose end" goes on the side closest to the wall.

I say it should be in the front, for ready access and retrieval.

Mysterious switching rolls around in the middle of the night occur.

I now await your wisdom and insight.

History, Philosophy, supported texts and references also accepted.



BOAC
21st Jul 2009, 18:03
Always have the unused side facing outwards.

Flap 5
21st Jul 2009, 18:03
Not only easier access if the loose end is at the front - if it is next to the wall it is likely to rub against the wall which is less hygenic.

Reference: The Bleeding Obvious

birrddog
21st Jul 2009, 18:09
Perhaps we should have the Mods setup a poll.

I could then print out the results and show Mrs B; then either she will agree with me or try and ban me from PPRuNe ;)

sitigeltfel
21st Jul 2009, 18:10
They don't print the silly patterns on the outside for nothing......roll the paper outwards or visitors to your loo will be appalled by your lack of good taste.

Avitor
21st Jul 2009, 18:11
I have a holder screwed at right angles to the wall on the left of the throne and slightly forward of me, the loose end is facing me, I have ease of use, complete satisfaction, and a sense of achievement.

My once partner changed it round, I showed her the door and told her to never darken the threshold again. I have not seen her since. :=

BOAC
21st Jul 2009, 18:13
if it is next to the wall it is likely to rub against the wall which is less hygenic. - not a problem if you follow my previous advice, is it?

ZH875
21st Jul 2009, 18:15
If the loose end is by the wall, then it is easier for the roll to unwind so a good pull will end up with yards of the stuff. Just what women use.

Having the loose end at the front, uses the weight of the roll as a brake, so it is easier to tear off a small amount, just right for the male of the species.

lomapaseo
21st Jul 2009, 18:26
Wait a minute, what's an unused side :confused:

I always use both sides.

G-CPTN
21st Jul 2009, 18:35
Even the recycled stuff? :confused:

Gordy
21st Jul 2009, 18:45
Now when I was in the "militry", we had the one side shiny paper. I was always told is was "Shiny side OUT" for the officers, and "shiny side IN" for the rest....

Sprogget
21st Jul 2009, 19:07
What you don't want is this.:uhoh:
http://i29.tinypic.com/2zof19g.jpg
A mate of mine actually did this...in my house. We jumped off the sofa & sent him straight back up the stairs.

Lon More
21st Jul 2009, 19:16
One piece only

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LxRAh4KY_CI&hl=nl&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LxRAh4KY_CI&hl=nl&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

sea oxen
21st Jul 2009, 19:38
It depends; are you a scruncher or a folder - and what of your good lady?

G-CPTN
21st Jul 2009, 19:44
One piece only
I learned that technique half a century ago . . .

Latearrival
21st Jul 2009, 20:10
In defense of women.....not all of us like it to the inside. When I'm on holiday with a particular friend, we have been known to change the roll back and forth until I get bored and let her win.

(Jet Blast.....the most effective procrastination tool known to mankind--and womenkind.)

mr fish
21st Jul 2009, 20:19
the glue used to bind the free end has a strength DIRECTLY in proportion to the vinderloo one needs rid of!!!:eek:

Whirlygig
21st Jul 2009, 20:32
The correct way.

http://www.cotswoldco.com/images/dynamic/165x165_52c6aa11.jpg

and just in case Mrs. Birddog is confused, you can print this out and place it above the holder.

http://19.media.tumblr.com/YQFwBLfEzox91s4wFG38Xk5xo1_500.jpg

Cheers

Whirls

birrddog
21st Jul 2009, 20:40
Thanks Whirls. That gave me a good chuckle.

I shall do that next time she tries to switch it around.

OFSO
21st Jul 2009, 20:45
Remove about 6' (or two metres) of paper from the roll.

Give it a half twist (i.e. rotate paper through 180º).

Glue the two ends together.

Loop over toilet paper holder.


You have created a Möbius Strip, and will never need to buy toilet paper again.

sitigeltfel
21st Jul 2009, 20:51
Who the hell decided that folding the end sheet into a point was an acceptable idea? Do they actually instruct hotel room staff to do this on pain of the sack, or have they just copied other staff sheepishly?
Whatever, please stop. It is unnecessary and stupid.

frostbite
21st Jul 2009, 20:52
If the loose end is at the back and it's in a bathroom, you could lose the whole roll when the end touches the wall covered in condensation and it sucks it up.

sea oxen
21st Jul 2009, 21:03
sitigeltfel

I go with Whirls.

I see nothing wrong with it. It gives one the impression that the last person to touch the roll was the maid, not someone pinching off a loaf.

SO

non iron
21st Jul 2009, 21:34
Would two toilet roll holders be out of the question ?

Personally, as long as it`s within reach l couldn`t give a ####. Oops. :)

Noah Zark.
21st Jul 2009, 21:44
The correct way to use toilet roll is as follows :-
Toilet roll is secured to wall. The end of the roll is taken across the smallest room, where it is attached to a second, empty, cardboard tube. This tube is on a roller which has a cranking handle on its end.
When toilet paper is required, the person simply straddles the paper, squatting slightly, and winds the handle on the receiving roll.
Of course, a handle may be fitted on the first roll, so that is may be moved back and forth in order to achieve a more thorough result.
Early problems with klingons have been eradicated, and the DeLuxe model has an electric drive with remote control. :E

Whirlygig
21st Jul 2009, 21:47
and the DeLuxe model has an electric drive with remote control. ...and like all men, I bet you're in charge of the remote :}

Cheers

Whirls

ORAC
21st Jul 2009, 21:51
What's wrong with using the shells?......

Sharmaker
21st Jul 2009, 21:54
Strange how anyone with an engineerig background says end on the outside.Seems obvious to me,30 years in cold construction at least you can wipe even if you can'tflush.
Why don'twomen understand it's where it's meant to be?

Sharmaker
21st Jul 2009, 22:00
,Noaz Ark,
we're talking about number two's here not two by two's!

non iron
21st Jul 2009, 22:00
Also, after long and considered thought, with references to hotel room service, and this being jetblast et al, ......

l arrived in my room ( not a million miles south of the south coast of England ) dumped my bags and went for a wander. l arrived back as night was falling to find that the bedside lights were on, curtains closed, a choccy on each pillow, and both sides of the bed turned down.

Seriously impressed.

Met the crew over breakfast and went to work.

That night following a similar regime l returned to find that "my" side of the bed had been turned down, "my" bedside light was on, two choccies in place, curtains closed.

A box of tissues was on "my" bedside cabinet.

Now that is service. :)

birrddog
21st Jul 2009, 22:10
Quote:
and the DeLuxe model has an electric drive with remote control.

...and like all men, I bet you're in charge of the remote :}

Cheers

Whirls

If you want the remote, I suggest you try the ToTo Washlet S400 (http://www.totousa.com/Default.aspx?tabid=113)

It would also increase votes for option 3. Quite popular in Japan.

Seems by the features it would solve several issues in domestic bliss.

Features Include:

Auto Flush Activated by Sensors or the Simple Touch of a Button
Automatic Open / Close Lid Activated by Sensors, or the Simple Touch of a Button on the Remote Control
Gentle Aerated Warm Water
Front and Rear Washing
Massage Feature
Warm Air Drying with Variable Three-Temperature Setting
Automatic Air Purifier
Heated Seat with Temperature Control
Convenient Wireless Remote Control with Large LCD Panel
Docking Station for Easy Cleaning & Installation
Cleaner, Sleeker Look
Reinforced Base Plate for Enhanced Durability

tony draper
21st Jul 2009, 22:22
Henry VIII used to have his bum wiped with rabbit skins.
Not many people know that.
:rolleyes:

G-CPTN
21st Jul 2009, 22:41
The question is whether to wipe from front-to-back, back-to-front or side-to-side?

tony draper
21st Jul 2009, 22:45
Hmmm, one would have to own a strange rear end configuration for a side to side deployment.
:uhoh:

G-CPTN
21st Jul 2009, 22:53
Well that leaves two options . . .

maliyahsdad2
21st Jul 2009, 23:07
I am still in shock that there is another person in the world who has thought about this issue, i thought i was alone.! hanging paper should be away from the wall ! :D

Noah Zark.
21st Jul 2009, 23:25
Of course, in ye olde nautical days, a multi-knotted rope was straddled and drawn backwards and forwards to achieve the desired result. Perhaps Cap'n Draper can elucidate? :ooh:

bnt
21st Jul 2009, 23:29
A former boss of mine had chronic piles, which he would describe to us at regular intervals, even offering to show them to us at one point. The response from my co-workers was to suggest replacing his toilet paper with something to shift the piles: a bottle of turpentine and a wire brush. :ooh:

SyllogismCheck
21st Jul 2009, 23:29
Not wishing to cause offence, but...:= (http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/169266-get-off-your-chest-indicators-plebeianism.html)

ShyTorque
21st Jul 2009, 23:32
Who the hell decided that folding the end sheet into a point was an acceptable idea? Do they actually instruct hotel room staff to do this on pain of the sack, or have they just copied other staff sheepishly?
Whatever, please stop. It is unnecessary and stupid.

Don't be silly, it's not the staff, it's the toilet roll fairies who do this. They live in all the best hotels.

The point must be on the outside or the roll troll will get you from below. Remember the song, "I'm a troll, fold de roll". (( :} ))

And he wouldn't be the first on this forum...

Whirlygig
21st Jul 2009, 23:35
Bloomin' 'eck Syllo, that was four years ago. I think we can be allowed a few repeats. :}

Cheers

Whirls

SyllogismCheck
21st Jul 2009, 23:47
Whirls,

I meant offence in the sense that the opener of that old thread along with its title might, indirectly, perhaps be suggesting that I may be casting aspersions on the good lady of the opening poster in this thread. Even vague accusations of plebeianism may not be taken lightly, you know.

Still, the end always, always hangs away from the wall. Always!

ExSp33db1rd
21st Jul 2009, 23:55
Hmmm, one would have to own a strange rear end configuration for a side to side deployment.



In China ?

Howard Hughes
22nd Jul 2009, 00:06
Many years ago a friend of mine worked at the toilet paper factory. He said that "the printing is put on the outside, so that with the roll unrolling towards you, the pattern is clearly visible!":ok:

People who have the paper unrolling towards the wall, are simply uncouth!;)

V2-OMG!
22nd Jul 2009, 00:10
If one resorts to buying this..........does it really matter???

http://pic80.picturetrail.com/VOL1942/12014112/21796710/370108081.jpg

bnt
22nd Jul 2009, 00:21
I've always assumed that the pointy-ended toilet roll in hotels was so that the cleaners know when the toilet has been used, so they should clean it. I've sometimes folded the point myself before checking out, just to mess with their heads ... :E

lomapaseo
22nd Jul 2009, 00:29
I've always assumed that the pointy-ended toilet roll in hotels was so that the cleaners know when the toilet has been used, so they should clean it. I've sometimes folded the point myself before checking out, just to mess with their heads ...

Yes but did you make a paper airplane type fold with it facing inwards or out towards the bowl.

It makes a difference and they have gotten wise to wise asses

con-pilot
22nd Jul 2009, 00:47
In China ?

Just try and find toilet paper outside of a modern Western Hotel in China. :p

ChrisVJ
22nd Jul 2009, 02:02
While, in principle, it may be correct to have the loose end on the outside we found that doing so allowed the cat to unroll it by running on the roll with his front paws, a game he apparently loves. Since then we put the loose end nearest the wall. Problem solved.

CityofFlight
22nd Jul 2009, 02:31
As usual, my good friend, Whirlygig, has it correct and responded appropriately. Without a doubt, the paper should fall forward over the top of the roll, towards the user. And when in doubt, hotel staff will lead by example! (see folded paper upon arrival into room)



Now....if only I could convince me Mum!! :p

PaperTiger
22nd Jul 2009, 02:39
If the loose end is by the wall, then it is easier for the roll to unwind so a good pull will end up with yards of the stuff. Just what women use.

Having the loose end at the front, uses the weight of the roll as a brake, so it is easier to tear off a small amount, just right for the male of the species.That is the definitive answer. Outward-facing, just a quick flick of the wrist yields but a single sheet. Why do they need more anyway ? :ouch:

Fortunately, Tiger Towers has mutliple bathrooms so serenity reigns :ok:

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 04:01
That is the definitive answer. Outward-facing, just a quick flick of the wrist yields but a single sheet. Why do they need more anyway ? :ouch:

Fortunately, Tiger Towers has mutliple bathrooms so serenity reigns :ok:

They don't call you 'PaperTiger' for nothing, do they? :)

V2-OMG!
22nd Jul 2009, 04:15
53 replies already......I'm wiped.

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 04:23
And it only took 53 sheets! Well done . :ok:

Buster Hyman
22nd Jul 2009, 05:06
Discuss? Such arrogance!:=

Besides, what do you think shag pile carpet is for? :rolleyes:

Howard Hughes
22nd Jul 2009, 05:16
When I was young we had a dog called Buster, very fond of such antics was he...:E

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 05:21
Discuss? Such arrogance!:=

Besides, what do you think shag pile carpet is for? :rolleyes:

And why do pipe smokers enjoy an 'Old Shag' in their pipe?

larssnowpharter
22nd Jul 2009, 05:57
You lot ain't half posh!

Does anyone else here just balance it on the cistern?

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 06:04
You lot ain't half posh!

Does anyone else here just balance it on the cistern?

The only thing I balance on the cistern is a tranny radio, music to **** by. :)

P.S. Loose sheet gotta be on the outside, getting back on topic.

Buster Hyman
22nd Jul 2009, 06:24
Does anyone else here just balance it on the cistern?
:rolleyes: Of course not! Where would you put your sandwhich? :rolleyes:

Howard. Did he also lick his Jatz Crackers too? :ok: ...uncanny...:ooh:

sitigeltfel
22nd Jul 2009, 06:33
In Sumo Wrestling stables, (I believe that is what they are called) the apprentices have to wipe the bottoms of the big guys because they are too fat to reach the target area themselves.

PS Hope you have all had your breakfast!

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 06:38
In Sumo Wrestling stables, (I believe that is what they are called) the apprentices have to wipe the bottoms of the big guys because they are too fat to reach the target area themselves.

PS Hope you have all had your breakfast!

You know where they can stick that job then! :(

larssnowpharter
22nd Jul 2009, 06:41
Me Gran used to cut copies of the Daily Mail into loo paper sized squares, pierce them at a corner with a skewer and hand them at a convenient height on a piece of string secured to the plumbing.

About all the Mail is fit for today:}

Lightning6
22nd Jul 2009, 06:48
Me Gran used to cut copies of the Daily Mail into loo paper sized squares, pierce them at a corner with a skewer and hand them at a convenient height on a piece of string secured to the plumbing.

About all the Mail is fit for today:}

Agreed, and it doesn't leave print on your fingers with the print they use these days, but it's still full of s**t, one way or another. :E
.

sitigeltfel
22nd Jul 2009, 07:15
Any arguments between you and your partner regarding the preferred quality or orientation of loo paper can be solved by installing one of these. You can also monitor the other persons usage rate in relation to yours, but be warned, they may cheat and use your side!

http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee201/sitigeltfel/Starckloorollholder.jpg

ExSp33db1rd
22nd Jul 2009, 08:16
Did he also lick his Jatz Crackers too?


Why does a dog lick his ........

Because he can !

tea & bikkies
22nd Jul 2009, 09:20
http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/greg2217/hanging-dunny-paper.jpg

hoofie
22nd Jul 2009, 09:29
Which direction isn't really a problem in Australia....it's being brave enough to rip a sheet off...
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Scary/Giant_Toilet_Spider.jpg

Lon More
22nd Jul 2009, 09:40
Simples. loose leaf

http://www.auravita.com/prodimages/JELI/JELI10329_2.jpg

polish it off.


Should have called it "John Wayne" because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take no ****

sitigeltfel
22nd Jul 2009, 10:34
Bidets, that's the answer, and better for the environment.

G-CPTN
22nd Jul 2009, 11:17
Bidets are, apparently, not for washing babies in - but for washing babies out . . .

Juud
22nd Jul 2009, 11:34
Like sitigeltfel, I reckon bidets are :ok:
Have also grown to like/understand the hygienic merits of the arrangement found in many Arab countries; the water hose right next to the loo so you can get really clean and the paper´s just for drying:

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/27/ce/78/studio-apartment-toilet.jpg


As for the original question of this thread; when we built our current house, we avoided any and all controversy by going vertical:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/flapsforty/DSC01629.jpg

chksix
22nd Jul 2009, 11:43
...but then it unrolls itself! How did you solve that?

Storminnorm
22nd Jul 2009, 11:45
I got into serious trouble when I was about 5 for dropping
a load of bottles down into the old outdoor "Tippler" toilet.
My grandad and my dad had to grab my uncle by the ankles
and lower him down the hole head first to clear the resulting
blockage.
The News of the World was always interesting reading in the Kazee.
Problem was if someone tore up the strips and you lost the thread
of a decent scandal, had to sort through all the other bits to find out
how it ended. Hoping it hadn't been used already.

ThreadBaron
22nd Jul 2009, 11:55
the apprentices have to wipe the bottoms of the big guys because they are too fat to reach the target area themselves.

When I was first allowed to accompany Lily to the toilet, her instructions to Pappi were, " I wipe. You check." What more acceptance could a grandfather ask?

CargoMatatu
22nd Jul 2009, 13:25
My word, Juud, that pink's a bit harsh isn't it?:confused:

I'm going to have to have a lie down now!

bnt
22nd Jul 2009, 13:32
Been there, done that ... got the t-shirt:

http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Hot-Basic-Pee-Pee-Poo-Poo-Music.jpg

birrddog
22nd Jul 2009, 14:56
Like sitigeltfel, I reckon bidets are :ok:
Have also grown to like/understand the hygienic merits of the arrangement found in many Arab countries; the water hose right next to the loo so you can get really clean and the paper´s just for drying:
I like the Japanese "system"... Built in music, front and back sprays, air dryer, auto lifting seats, and self-cleans the seat after every use - oh, and don't forget the heated seat - don't worry, it was not the vindaloo that made your arse on fire :E

As for the original question of this thread; when we built our current house, we avoided any and all controversy by going vertical:
Juud, actually, you still fall into the outside camp, just, vertically outside ;)

1DC
22nd Jul 2009, 16:19
I am so glad this thread was started, after more than 40 years of marriage Mrs 1DC and i are delighted to have finally found something we have in common. We are both outsiders and are so chuffed that we have finally agreed on something we are going to have a celebration dinner. Hurray!

Whirlygig
22nd Jul 2009, 16:54
You mean it's taken you and your wife 40 years to work out that you both prefer the loo roll to be hanging from the outside? Believe me, if you'd disagreed, it would've taken you 40 minutes to realise the difference :}

Cheers

Whirls

obgraham
22nd Jul 2009, 18:11
Henry VIII used to have his bum wiped with rabbit skins.
:rolleyes:
Was the rabbit still in that skin, Drapes? And if so, how did they train it?

V2-OMG!
22nd Jul 2009, 18:47
Henry VIII used to have his bum wiped with rabbit skins.
:rolleyes:
Was the rabbit still in that skin, Drapes? And if so, how did they train it?

Laughing my head off over that one. :ok:

birrddog
23rd Jul 2009, 04:36
I think I have enough stats, quotes and diagrams to present my case to Mrs B.

Whether she accepts,acknowledges, retaliates, etc. yet to be found out :ok:

Thanks for all the hearty support on such an important matter of domestic bliss.

I shall be sure to report back.

P.S. A special thanks to FlapsForty for setting up the Poll!

Rush2112
23rd Jul 2009, 06:37
The real answer is, I believe, "however the maid leaves it".

Fark'n'ell
23rd Jul 2009, 08:13
Was the rabbit still in that skin, Drapes? And if so, how did they train it?

My understanding was that the Rabbit was in it's skin and still alive.The serfs used to wash the Rabbit then let it run around for a little while to dry so dear old Henry had a nice clean Rabbit to wipe his bum with.If he had the trots several Rabbits were used.:ok:

Crayon
23rd Jul 2009, 08:20
I voted...

CargoMatatu
23rd Jul 2009, 08:40
Well done, Crayon!

Fark'n'ell
23rd Jul 2009, 09:05
Looks like the men who voted seem to be ahead in the poll.:)

OFSO
23rd Jul 2009, 10:32
My understanding was that the Rabbit was in it's skin and still alive.The serfs used to wash the Rabbit then let it run around for a little while to dry so dear old Henry had a nice clean Rabbit to wipe his bum with.If he had the trots several Rabbits were used

Oh, how the upper classes live....
When I were a lad, we had to go out and CATCH bloody rabbits, one for each member of the family and two for mother...

Buster Hyman
23rd Jul 2009, 11:44
Make sure it's not a Gerbel though...:uhoh:


ARMAGEDDON!!!!!

G-CPTN
23rd Jul 2009, 11:48
I doubt that the obese Henry would have been able to reach his rear orifice, even if the rabbit was tied to a stick.

27mm
23rd Jul 2009, 13:25
IIRC, the royal Tudor loos at Hampton Court Palace were communal - I imagine that several functionaries would attend His Majesty during the procedure and can picture Henry calling that he was finished and some poor soul having to do the brush and polish.....

Storminnorm
23rd Jul 2009, 15:47
I would have thought that a sponge on a stick would do.
That's what the Romans used.
Dipped in sour wine I believe.

Tonkatoy
23rd Jul 2009, 16:16
Make sure it's not a Gerbel though...


ARMAGEDDON!!!!!

Can I use a rabbit to get coffee out of a keyboard?

OFSO
23rd Jul 2009, 20:17
I would have thought that a sponge on a stick would do.
That's what the Romans used.


.....and the Turks also, SN, until quite recently. I remember a travelling friend of mine (of a serious demenour, or at least he was when he returned) telling me of a hygenic facility in Turkey where when one had finished one presented one's posterior to an orifice in the wall, behind which sat a little old lady (he thinks) with a damp sponge on a stick, moistened in a not-very-salubrious bucket.

After that experience he made free with Mother Nature and a roll of expensive toilet paper, although which side hung outwards he never told me.

ShyTorque
23rd Jul 2009, 20:50
Tell your friend it wasn't a little old lady and it wasn't a sponge on a stick, either..... :eek:

V2-OMG!
23rd Jul 2009, 20:53
....was thinking the same thing.

I doubt if there are many old Turkish ladies with a sponge on a stick behind those "glory holes" in the typical American/Canadian highway rest stop.

G-CPTN
24th Jul 2009, 00:14
I doubt if there are many old Turkish ladies with a sponge on a stick behind those "glory holes" in the typical American/Canadian highway rest stop.
I think we should be told more . . .

lomapaseo
24th Jul 2009, 00:42
Quote:
I doubt if there are many old Turkish ladies with a sponge on a stick behind those "glory holes" in the typical American/Canadian highway rest stop.

*************************************

I think we should be told more . . .

:ok:

read the book, seen the movies, now let's meet the cast

Storminnorm
24th Jul 2009, 15:50
Never did care for Brown Windsor Soup.

Choxolate
24th Jul 2009, 16:20
That's what the Romans used.
Dipped in sour wine I believe.
Blimey that must sting if they had bum rash from marching about in all that sweaty leather

PingDit
24th Jul 2009, 18:22
Real men use this stuff. Which way it hangs is irrelevant.

REAL Mens Toilet Tissue Video (http://www.bofunk.com/video/5334/real_mens_toilet_tissue.html)

Ping

crippen
25th Jul 2009, 07:19
As an ex civil servant---loose end at the front! The official bog roll was printed on every square--"government property".Could not be read tother way round.ps it was crinkly stuff too!!:cool:

Cacophonix
25th Jul 2009, 16:16
Hasn't this roll run out yet?

Storminnorm
25th Jul 2009, 16:21
Mildly anti-septic Choxolate.

lomapaseo
25th Jul 2009, 17:04
Hasn't this roll run out yet?


Shhhh, were just on side two :}

Lon More
25th Jul 2009, 17:06
Anyone use the edges?

unstable load
26th Jul 2009, 03:20
Anyone use the edges?

Once the roller machine has taken both sides through the system then it gets torn into squares and once dry the edges are available to use.
Customers please to note, both sides of the corners need using!:yuk:

Hobo
26th Jul 2009, 10:31
As matron used to say....only 3 sheets needed, one up, one down, and one to polish.

One of the best graffiti.... "This bog paper is like the Marines...rough, tough, and don't take sh1t off anyone."

And, of course, there's no soft toilet paper at the 'HOTEL BASTARDOS' :-

YouTube - Hotel Bastardos: Rick Mayal Classic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEdn-x1SIW8)

unclenelli
26th Jul 2009, 14:04
Military Loo Roll tends to be dimples & pimples!!!

Dimples are the "smooth to the touch" side and Pimples are "Rough to the touch" side.
Heavy soilers are advised to use the rough side, those with sensitive rears (haemorrhoids) are advised to use the smooth side!!)

Normally available in OOA areas, but also available at places in the UK, such as Halton.


PS Normal supermarket Loo Roll is Smooth to Both sides!!!

Maybe the Loo IPT should reconsider - although that must be a really shitty job - no pun intended!!!!

Storminnorm
27th Jul 2009, 12:20
What an easy life the Military have nowadays!!
In MY time we had to scrape it of with a bayonet.
Those were the days.

Lon More
27th Jul 2009, 12:55
In my day you then had to use the bayonet to open your rations :eek:

Windy Militant
27th Jul 2009, 13:44
Brings to mind the guy in the Lavatory on a train holding on to the communication cord for grim death. When the guard arrives he demands to know why the gent had pulled the cord. the reply came thus
"Nnnnngah I've got piles"
to which the guard replies
" A lot of people have piles but they don't make all this fuss!"
"Naaaagh but theirs aren't wrapped around the axle of the train" :{
Oh yeah back on thread, on the outside.

Storminnorm
27th Jul 2009, 13:59
Hope you licked it clean first Lon.

critter592
27th Jul 2009, 18:36
Lavatory paper?! :mad:

Real men use one of these:

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll233/2woDee/Funnies/C-G.jpg


Don

OFSO
27th Jul 2009, 18:42
In my day you then had to use the bayonet to open your rations

We dreamed of licking our bayonets when I were a lad. We had to get up at 3 a.m., scrape the bayonets over a hot roaring fire, put the fragments into the pie for our dad's supper, then use them to stir mother's bathwater in the puddle outside....

Hot roaring fire ? Paradise ! We had to get up before we went to bed, eat a plate of cold sick, warm our bayonets over a Swan's Vesta, and......

Lon More
27th Jul 2009, 20:04
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y204/Badyin/loopaper1.jpg

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y204/Badyin/loopaper2.jpg

minigudniplomat
27th Jul 2009, 22:55
How many sheets do you use?

Effluent Man
28th Jul 2009, 15:54
I had a go at Mrs E last week for buying paper with a pretty pattern on it,in my opinion totally over-engineered.

A friends father,retired train driver, now in his 80's told me about when he started work in 1939.One morning on the footplate he told the stoker that he needed to go to the bog.As they were steaming towards Liverpool St options were limited.The stoker gave him a shovel with instructions to do the business by the tender, This he did and chucked the product into the firebox.A short while later he was shocked to see the driver's breakfast eggs sizzling on the hot shovel and the stoker creasing himself with laughter.

Lon More
28th Jul 2009, 17:45
Thanks for that Effluent Man Does it run in the family?:)

Capt.KAOS
28th Jul 2009, 21:41
http://www.all4humor.com/images/files/Need%20Toilet%20Paper.jpg

OFSO
28th Jul 2009, 21:45
Lavatory paper?! http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/censored.gif

Real men use one of these:

Blimey Crits, I thought Lance Armstrong was looking a bit grim last week.........like to see the version Mark Cavendish uses !

non iron
22nd Aug 2009, 00:15
l don`t remember eating that.