View Full Version : PPRuNe Airline
8th Apr 2009, 10:11
Why PPrune doesn't start his own airline?
8th Apr 2009, 10:15
How do you make a small fortune?
Start with a big one, then launch an airline!
8th Apr 2009, 10:16
Err, Prune is not actually a person he or she is a myth,hmmm, like Eldorado or Australia.
8th Apr 2009, 10:24
As Mr D says. Although it would be normal for someone who adopts the name of a small intelligent robot to consider an electronic bit of thingymestuff as an entity in its own right, sadly PPRuNe is not a he or a she and it cannot start an airline.
8th Apr 2009, 10:33
My name is Angus Prune, and this is my tune ...
8th Apr 2009, 10:36
Well, my skills are:
Making the 'steeple gesture' when listening
Karate shopping the black ash desk when answering
I have just the right amount of grey in the sides to be credible, a full head of hair, but a little overweight to make it right to the top.
I'm sure there would be a place in unspecified middle management for me if you threw in an Audi with the package.
However, lets face it guys. We aren't the most productive of people are we?
Who would tear themselves away from the keyboard long enough to make a profit?
8th Apr 2009, 10:36
Oh, I don't know.
There certainly is a lot of expertise here, covering most aspects of commercial aviation.
Probably could do better in service than most.
Nominate some department heads.
8th Apr 2009, 10:37
A big problem with PPruNe Air would be all the fistfights in the cockpit.
8th Apr 2009, 10:48
The Chief Pilot; His c.v. (http://www.content-delivery.co.uk/aviation/airfields/prune/)
8th Apr 2009, 11:53
If Pprune was an airline, and we assume Danny was the CEO, who would fill all the other positions? What equipment would it operate? Where would it fly to? (Australia excluded of course, because it doesn't exist!):rolleyes:
8th Apr 2009, 12:00
What IS the range of a Tiger Moth?
Start small Grow huge!
I have a large collection of rubber bands you know?
Too many FIGJAMs - it'll never happen.
I wouldn't put your money into it.
8th Apr 2009, 13:21
The Cap'n (was that the nom de guerre?), formerly of this site, wanted to start an airline from here and even, if I recall correctly, invited expressions of interest in jobs at all levels. He planned to use Lockheed 1011s bought at discount rates. If anyone wishes to be in touch with him, try HM Breakwater View Hotel, Peterhead, Aberdeenshire. He was sent there a few years ago, not long, on the Queen'spressing offer of a life term of free accommodation. I suspect he is still there.
8th Apr 2009, 13:29
A big problem with PPruNe Air would be all the fistfights in the cockpit. And whether or not these fistfights would occur in Boeing or Airbus cockpits... :ok:
8th Apr 2009, 13:36
If Pprune was an Airline then,
No passenger would be allowed to express an opinion unless suitably qualified
There would always be at least 3 boring passengers a week striking up conversations about speed camera related issues and at least 3 boasting about their wealth by starting such conversations as "What car do you drive?" because they own a Ferrari ( or are at least thinking of getting one)
The aircraft would never get off the ground on account of the weight of heavy robust watches on the wrists of perfectly manicured hands
The "Jetblast" section would be in the cargo hold full of straw and the Irish, with resident sage Tony Draper holding court 24 hours a day with amusing anecdotes and observations on life
The aeroplane would be flown "by committee" with disagreements resulting in personal insults in an attempt to ascertain who has the greatest knowledge.
Anyone who wanted genuinely to find out more about aircraft operations would be accused by cabin staff or management of being a jounrnalist pinko and told to sod off to Jet Blast or barred
Any one who complained about late departures or arrivals or had a difference of opinion with the management, would be barred
The management would always be right
Even if the management were wrong, theyd be right
8th Apr 2009, 13:49
Every flight should have a brick sh1thouse aboard, to deal with mouthy pax.
Slide up to them, with a smile on his face, hold their hand whilst gently talking to them and at the same time slowly breaking every bone in the hand.
8th Apr 2009, 13:50
"This is my airline. We didn't ask you to come on board. You do as we say or you can sling yer hook. Go find another airline if that's the way you feel. You might well have paid for a seat but what I say goes and you're not having your money back. And if you dare to argue with me you're not even going to get beyond the check-in desk".
"Other than that - Welcome to PPRuNe - mi casa su casa"
I only fly PPRuNeAir because of the quality of the other passengers. :ok:
8th Apr 2009, 13:55
Are you Micheal O'leary by chance?
Pprune air has GOT to fly DC-3s.
Which makes the route fairly obvious.
Paris, Casablanca, Nice, Brize Norton......
8th Apr 2009, 13:58
I wish I had his dough but not his reputation. :}
8th Apr 2009, 14:09
I have got a C172, a Beech Baron, a B737 400 (and assorted other planes) in flight sim that I am willing to lease to PPRUNEAIR at the most (un)reasonable rates :ok:
8th Apr 2009, 14:15
First we would need someone to determine which aircraft is more economical to fly. B-757 or GV. Oh, wait we have that person...
8th Apr 2009, 14:28
This new airline will need proper branding, that works in as many places as possible. PPruneair is not much of a brand. We'd probably have to rule out Arabic, Thai, Chinese and so on.
I guess we'd have to use an English brand. (That's English English, not an exported prisoner version).
Brands are supposed to resonate with customers, to excite them, to appeal to their emotional core.
In Aviation, I guess they ought to imply safety, as well.
I guess all that rules out "Fawlty Towers Air" and "Life of Brian Air". Whilst the crews might like it, I guess "Men Behaving Badly Air" would not pass muster.
There must be some great ideas out there......
8th Apr 2009, 14:30
There must be some great ideas out there......English, English.....
8th Apr 2009, 14:35
I think that " Are you being served Air" has a certain "ENGLISH"
ring to it. And promises something that it probably can't deliver.
( Service being a British swear word as far as I know.)
8th Apr 2009, 15:35
Guys, wait! none of the projects goes furhter this way. Someone needs to be the head (Entrepreneur) and organize and coordinate things and then plan every single step and then we go step by step. If every one is shooting like this and everything is messed up with no one to take care of things, then I'm not willing to invest here.
8th Apr 2009, 15:39
Whatever equipment is selected it will have to come with a shed.:ok:
Schumi - Red Baron
8th Apr 2009, 15:40
Should Pprune air sponsor some sports team (like ETIHAD and FERRARI) for brand building... :confused:
8th Apr 2009, 15:40
Are you touting for the position then?
One volunteer is worth a dozen "pressed" men!
What are your credentials?
Got a CV?
Wasn't it GWBush said that the FFrench don't have a word for Entrepreneur ?
Already approached Stannah Stairlifts for sponsorship if that's OK?
Just located some MEGA sheds at Cardington! Boy they,re BIG!!!!
8th Apr 2009, 16:12
And what would be the Logo for the PPRuNe Airline?
8th Apr 2009, 17:15
Two pilots in a p_ _ _ ing match?
8th Apr 2009, 17:21
I'd like to see PERSONA NON GRATA on the side and http://static.pprune.org/images/statusicon/thread_hot_lock.gif on the tail.
8th Apr 2009, 17:26
Twice a day Oxford to Cambridge maybe?
Guaranteed commercial success
8th Apr 2009, 17:32
Not for Cambridge old chap!
8th Apr 2009, 17:46
Pprune could bearly afford to upgrade the servers...how would they even lease an aircraft?
8th Apr 2009, 17:48
Dare I suggest an airship?
No, better not.
8th Apr 2009, 20:23
The motto. "PRRuNeair - just passing through" ?
8th Apr 2009, 20:55
CEO must be someone who will say:
Business plan? We don't need it.:E
9th Apr 2009, 03:21
No I'm not after a position. I think the starter of the thread deserves to be the head or CEO. regarding logo, I'll do that because I think I'm good at designing logos.
9th Apr 2009, 06:20
amazing how may idea you can get!
how many planes we need?
sure we do not need pilot cause we already have more than we need!
and if instead of just an airline we create a organization capable to provide pilot and plane but also ATC controller, ground personnell, engineers (all type), psycologist, psychiatrist, etc..
and we call it "ALL YOU CAN EAT!" :)
Krystal n chips
9th Apr 2009, 06:52
psycologist, psychiatrist, etc..
Possibly not a good idea for Pprune Air given the number of potential case studies on here........:E
However, I will be more than willing to take on the role of an Outstation Eng on the following conditions
Station is located somewhere warm / sunny / low cost of living.
No more than two tech.stop transits per week
Spares holding of two main wheels / one nose wheel / one brake unit / one bev maker / one seat cover and that's it ( merely thinking of cost overheads you understand in this frugal age ) ...well, ok then, some oils as well just in case.
I can see no reason why this cannot be a feasible operation therefore. :p
9th Apr 2009, 08:33
What do you think about this location?
9th Apr 2009, 08:38
Saving the planet by cutting emissions caused by Brussel Sprouts
9th Apr 2009, 08:44
WALL-E the location is great for out HQ, however we do not want our pax to travel to such sun kissed locations (fear of skin cancer and all) I have managed to secure prime slot times at Popham, and Top Farm
9th Apr 2009, 10:03
Sorry i almost forgot!
PPruen Air needs cute Flight Attendants!
who wants to be in the screening board?:mad:
Initial and Line training would HAVE to be undertaken on an aircraft on a conveyor belt.
9th Apr 2009, 11:54
They all must have these eyes!
Schumi - Red Baron
9th Apr 2009, 13:17
We can have age and weight limit for the Cabin crew...:}
And only models as CC...:E
9th Apr 2009, 16:17
it's just a WIP!
9th Apr 2009, 16:28
I think Rabbs got at them first
9th Apr 2009, 19:58
Is the new airline's site up yet? I'd like to purchase some
e-tickets for a select few.....
9th Apr 2009, 20:13
As long as mine is to Tahiti, V2
We can always call it "Monty Python's Flying Circus".
12th Apr 2009, 10:36
to all the PPRuNe Air Wanna Be!
12th Apr 2009, 11:38
Those hosties would be useless!
Nowhere to keep the cash.
PS, Kristal. Don't forget a couple of spare torch batteries.
( In case we need to sleep in the office after being locked
out at home due to the bar having an extension).
12th Apr 2009, 18:07
[Link:PPRuNE Air Llc/media/press_12042009.doc?action=immediate/]: It's with immense pleasure that airship announces the imminent launch of PPRuNe Air LLC, "the world's newest and next most favourite airline".
"PPRuNe Air LLC" will be a limited liability corporation registered in Delaware (not currently black-listed as a tax-haven by OECD yet), operating as a subsidiary of the Bermuda-registered company to be called "PPRuNe Air Global Domination Ltd.", 100% owned by "airship & Friends Providential Society Trust Ltd.", to be registered in the Principality of Monaco.
PRODUCTS / SERVICES / MISSION STATEMENT
- to offer worldwide air travel services on a scale never-before envisaged and at a price that almost everyone can afford to pay.
- to encourage global peace by utilising both Boeings and Airbuses.
- to maximise shareholder value on a scale hitherto unattained, even when measured on a very short-term basis solely.
EXECUTIVES / MANAGEMENT / MAJOR SHAREHOLDERS / ADVISORS
- PPRuNe Air LLC is currently looking to employ a CEO, CFO, directors of operational units etc., in addition to establishing a suitable chairman and board of directors. PPRuNe Air LLC is an equal-opportunities employer, thus also welcomes applications from the following: those holding OBEs / MBEs (especially for board memberships) and ex. politicians, civil servants / public officials with intimate governmental contacts as external / independent consultants.
- airship and Capt. PPRuNe will inject £10 each as initial capital in "airship & Friends Providential Society Trust Ltd." However, they will both maintain special voters' rights and privileges, wholly-based on 'performance-related' bonuses and options in the 'down-stream' companies, allowing each a 49.9% stake in the airline.
- special provisions exist and could be extended to other JB investors (PM me)to participate in the venture at an early more profitable stage, but probably only in the "PPRuNe Air Global Domination Ltd."
- PPRuNe Air LLC is currently being advised by Capt. PPRuNe's "Global Investment & Equality Fund For New Airlines LLC". Here is his official "read and approved by" stamp:
Nothing truly original here, suffice to say that we will employ a derivation of the Tesco "pile it high and sell it cheap" doctrine. And once we've acquired a sufficient number of routes (or mega-supermarkets in Tesco parlance and bankrupted or else chased away the competitors in colusion with the local authorities), we'll just raise our prices and ask to be reconsidered as the newer "Waitrose / Sainsburys". However, there may be important benefits in the implementation of other subsidiary marketing efforts:
- whereas most airliners today have just 2 pilots and no flight engineer, PPRuNe Air will also make the most of having say, a further 10-20 MS Flight Simulator 'qualified' pilots and engineers accompanying every flight, whereever possible and (subject to high-speed data links), direct access to JB. Given the right attitude, this might eventually be considered as a supreme, unequalled effort to airliner safety...?!
...unlike the ridiculous cheap antics of Ryanair, instead of charging for use of the WCs, short-haul PPRuNe Air aircraft wouldn't even have any WCs, they'd merely have "mile-high" cubicles, which would automatically dispense "done it mile-high" certificates, even at the terminal.
- PPRuNe Air would also have its own dedicated terminals at certain airports, just like the previously 'big behemoths' of civil aviation. At Heathrow for example, PPRuNe Air would have a dedicated terminal with 10 air-bridges leading to the airplanes. From which we'd proudly proclaim our own exclusive noise-abatement-approved Concorde trans-atlantic supersonic services (essentially a mock-up Concorde highly- visible from our 'exclusive' departure lounge. Once entering the air-bridge, passengers would be lead along a long deviation to a standard B-747 fuselage, suitably-modified to resemble a Concorde interior. Except that the portholes would be LCD screens displaying MS FS images, the remaining space being used for genuinely non-self-loading cargoes.
FINANCIAL PROJECTIONS AND PARTNERS
- "airship & Friends Providential Society Trust Ltd.", (to be registered in the Principality of Monaco), have undertaken the unusual step of submitting their ambitions to Internationally-reputed ratings agencies, with some success. No less than AIG has come forth, offering a 'cast-iron' guarantee to investors: for a negligible 0.5% or less of your investment, they (and the American taxpayer) will underwrite any/all subsequent losses...?!
As Lionel Ritchie once sang, "Screw you, say me"...?! :confused:
12th Apr 2009, 21:20
13th Apr 2009, 13:14
Where did that "pile it high and sell it cheap" idea come from?
I don't want Liar Air treatment - I want to run a full service airline. One that cares about its customers and employees.
13th Apr 2009, 13:45
I want to run a full service airline. One that cares about its customers and employees.
Now that IS an original idea!
13th Apr 2009, 16:18
I volunteer as a free lance.... what? :confused:
those two would be a good start, alas they're already seemingly taken as you wrote.
Had they been wearing open shoes , still with high heels, -- as I strongly suggest to anybody in that pose -- they would have been
almost irresistible, the 'non plus ultra' lark-mirror for middle aged SLF with lotsa buckeroos! :)
(then again, I speak for myself)
Sorry to disagree with Storminnorm, on this topic! ;-)
14th Apr 2009, 11:20
14th Apr 2009, 12:33
14th Apr 2009, 13:13
As an automation programmer I'm sure I can find a place in engineering. After all, automation is automation, be it an industrial plant or an air plant, err, plane.:8
In a previous life I did electronics and still can wield a mean soldering iron, must be something for me there too.:E
14th Apr 2009, 14:10
But do you know how to inflate tyres?
14th Apr 2009, 14:37
I would suggest not to opt for a giant CEO
(at least much smaller than any of the airline aeromobiles),
with less hair on top of his/her head,
greying (not painting his/her hair) and, most importantly,
anyone who didn't undergo total facial surgical enhancement. :)
14th Apr 2009, 14:52
But wall-e the pic of HQ also seems to be in France, or no? and what else do you want to make out of Pprune because I saw you are trying to publish Pprune Book, what's next (Magazine, novel, movie,...)
15th Apr 2009, 11:49
Maybe the pics was not clear enough! here a clear one!
15th Apr 2009, 16:08
That's just a "Stealth" Air craft carrier innit?
In view of the UK government's efforts to turn the country into a replica of Stalinist Russia..... sorry, try again:
In view of the UK government's efforts to make us all safe from cradle to grave by forcing all non-criminals and non-terrorists to carry ID cards....bugger it, try again:
Shouldn't we start with the first priority (sh*t, delete that before I get named-and-shamed), shouldn't we start with the most important thing and have a few ID cards for PPRuNe Air staff printed off ? Must be someone out there who can do a snazzy design and get 'em printed......
24th Apr 2009, 17:58
Say you little walle
I would like to have him as CEO!