Cancel the two late teas....

[sangiovese.]

"cancel the two late teas"

Having a chat in the pub on friday with a mate and this came up. Was it ever really transmitted before an accident? We kind of remembered it may have been a Canberra about to overrun. Any old and/or bold(er than me!)care to comment or point me in the right direction?

TVM

[Georgeablelovehowindia]

Yes, I've also heard this in connection with a Canberra about to crash, but I think the circumstances were a bit more dire than an over-run. It was a discussion about 'cool' last words, when I guess people like me would shout "Mummy!!" or "Oh Sh-."

The version I heard was "Cancel two late lunches."

[2Planks]

Or the apocryphal "Timber" as the Harrier went into th etrees on take off from a field site in the cold war?

[Jackonicko]

I heard it told in the 7 Squadron crewroom at St Mawgan, back when 7 was a Canberra unit.

I used to know which Canberra loss it related to, but with the mists of time.....

It was talked about in such a matter of fact way as to make me think that it was absolutely pukka (and I think a name was attached, too), but that it referred to a pilot from another unit.

[LowObservable]

The late Mark Lambert told the "Timber" story about a Meteor.

[Shadwell the old]

I think these were the last words of a 360 Sqn crew who had just taken off from Gib

[harrogate]

WT530, PR.7 13 Sqn 7/Dec/1978. Engine failure on t/o, Luqa.

Crashed into the cemetary.

[Lou Scannon]

Sorry, but the originator went back to meat boxes in the 50's!

[NutLoose]

Didn't some high ranking Luftwaffe Pilot (who had something like 241 Allied WW2 kills to his name) post war when serving on the Kestrel flight, (the precursor to the Harrier) suffer an engine failure in the hover and crash......... rushing out to the crash site his fellow staff were met by him climbing out the now not so well Kestrel as he greeted them with the words..... "Make that 242 Allied Aircraft destroyed"....... or something similar.

[BentStick]

Best one I’ve heard related was the Marine Cobra driver landing with (I think) a flight control problem. As the helo was sliding down the strip amid lots of sparks the tower asked if he needed assistance. The Cobra guy replied, “don’t know…..we're not done crashing yet”.

[Brian Abraham]

Crash crew rushed up to wreck and asked pilot "what happened?". Reply "No idea, I just got here myself".

[Archimedes]

Didn't some high ranking Luftwaffe Pilot (who had something like 241 Allied WW2 kills to his name) post war when serving on the Kestrel flight, (the precursor to the Harrier) suffer an engine failure in the hover and crash......... rushing out to the crash site his fellow staff were met by him climbing out the now not so well Kestrel as he greeted them with the words..... "Make that 242 Allied Aircraft destroyed"....... or something similar.

Yes. It was Gerhard Barkhorn, who had 301 victories in WW2.

The version seen most often is that he made a horlicks of a VL (rather than suffering a failure of some sort) and was rather irritated with himself. His fellow pilots commiserated with him, at which point he allegedly said words to the effect of 'on the bright side, I suppose I can claim that as my 302nd kill'.

[L J R]

Pilatus Porter crash at Coolangatta (Godzone!) - Called for a Touch and go (didn't NB that the the Park-Brake was set). Result, Porter Flipped on touchdown - R/T: whilst still sitting strapped in his now upside-down heap: 'Better make that a full stop!' .

[CirrusF]

This one is not bad:

YouTube - Mirage 2000: Funniest Crash Ever (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XlaJJXkS3uo)

[BoeingMEL]

Heard a story from a trusted source at Brawdy (IIRC) years ago about a Hunter jock who (reportedly) suffered some sort of catastrophic failure while at low-level and with wings vertical.... folklore maybe? Ring a bell with anyone? cheers bm

[ComJam]

"Cancel two dinners in the mess" was the version I heard....believe it relates to a Canberra with an engine failure shortly after take-off that crashed at Kinloss in the 80's??

Re the above video....you've gotta feel sorry for the Frenchman....doh...

[NutLoose]

CirrusFThis one is not bad:

YouTube - Mirage 2000: Funniest Crash Ever (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XlaJJXkS3uo)


But then again, there are times when you don't want the wheels down......


http://www.alexisparkinn.com/photogallery/Videos/WheelsDownAmphibWaterLanding.mpg

[Strobin Purple]

I flew with an old and very bold Spec Aircrew Sqn Ldr Canberra pilot over 20 years ago who maintained that in the early 60s he was in the vis circuit in a (2 ATAF?) airfield in S Germany, the overshoot of which was wall-to-wall Bavarian forestry, when a sqn chum of his in a Venom suffered engine failure and transmitted the above, (bearing in mind the min ht limits of the ejection seat). 'Soapy' (bless 'im) was not one to spin lines and up until then I thought that the tale was totally apocryphal, but he was adamant about it.

If the Kinloss Canberra crash you refer to was this one:

Ministry of Defence | About Defence | Corporate Publications | Air Safety and Aviation Publications | MAAS | 1990s (http://www.mod.uk/DefenceInternet/AboutDefence/CorporatePublications/AirSafetyandAviationPublications/MAAS/1990s/)

then that is folklore.

[Capt Niff Naff]

Sangiovese.

The story I remember from the last century, when Canberras had many different marks and mod states was thus:

Pilot was on det in Akronelli and was in the habit of rushing back from his sortie to run in and break into a vertical pull up, followed by a push over, then manoeuvre to land. He had been perfecting this for a while, but on the day/crash in question did not realise that the jet he was in did not have negative g capable engines/fuel system. As he started to push over, both engines went very quiet, and I believe that was when he transmitted 'Cancel 2 late lunches'.

I just had a flashback, and I think he may have tried a double hot relight, but ran out of sky and then made the call.

I don't know if they got out or if they 'augered' in, but it surely displayed great calm at a turning point in one's life!

Capt N-N

[papajuliet]

Lancaster on take off with full bomb load loses an engine. After some heartstopping moments pilot [it might have been Nick Knilans in 617sqd.] regains full control saying " OK J C, I've got her now"

[Jackonicko]

It wasn't the Kinloss accident, for sure, as I heard the tale in 80, or 81.

[smarthawke]

I remember reading the Akrotiri double flame out report when I was engineering Canberras in the 80s. Run and (vertical) break to impress wating for depature Buccs. No fuel recuperators on that mark of Canberra as he found out after the bunt over the top at 5000ft. IIRC the pilot suggested to the nav that he intended to glide back to the runway - a decision which was queried by said nav. They both banged out and the pilot was too busy watching the mighty bomber hitting the sea that he forgot to lower his PSP. He then said he couldn't bail out his dinghy due to a lack of bailer. The report ended with the the statement that 'the bailer was later found in the pocket marked 'bailer'. It really wasn't his day.

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

One years loss of seniority for his antics, as I recall

Also 84 Sqn's first Wessex rescue according to the signed print in the crewroom

[zotbox]

I first encountered the phrase "cancel two late lunches" in relation to the loss of an 43(F) FG-1 in the late eighties.( 1988 I believe, I was squadron groundcrew at the time.)

The Aircraft crashed into the North Sea, with the loss of both crew, having last been seen intercepting a four ship of Buccaneers during an Exercise (Elder Forest I seem to recall).

There was a center spread in one of the papers (Mail or Express I think) shortly after that was either about the Exercise itself or Leuchars and the RAF in general. Part of the piece touched on the crash- and used the quote above. I'm not sure if the quote was attributed to the Crew in this instance (I think it may have been) or was from another source commenting on the incident. From the other posts in the thread it would appear that the phrase had its origins some time earlier.

[It's only Me]

re the Akrotiri crash - Pilot became subject of SH song "A little mistake by me and I'm on my way to rotary"

His loss of a year's seniority did't hinder; last heard of as an Air Commodore.

[isaneng]

First Gulf War, 2 yanks chatting on guard, when a very British voice, with helo noise in background, asks if they have quite finished. Suitable apologies from chastised yanks, followed by Brit, now accompanied by various background aural warnings, 'Mayday Mayday Mayday, this is...........'

[Firestreak]

My Flt Cdr on my first Sqn had done an exchange tour with the Navy flying Scimitars. He told the tale of a launch that went wrong and the aircraft shot off the front just as the pointy end of the ship was pointing downwards (it was a stormyish day and the front end was going up and down quite a bit). From the deck, it looked as if the aircraft flew into the top of a wave, however, it re-appeared staggering skywards accompanied by the r/t "Thank you God, I have control now"

[propulike]

You mean like this take off from a carrier?

aircraft launched into a wave from a carrier (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/374189/aircraft_launched_into_a_wave_from_carrier/)

I hope I never need to be that lucky!

[Brian Abraham]

'Mayday Mayday Mayday, this is...........'
Reminds one of the story on 121.5 "Say again Frank, you were cut out by a Mayday"

[NutLoose]

This brings Maydays home...... Chilling

This audio file of a VFR pilot who has lost control in the clouds is absolutely terrifying. Recorded by the Flight Service Station in Fort Dodge, Iowa.

http://www.alexisparkinn.com/photogallery/Videos/flightassist.mp3

[Dunbar]

No one could accuse that pilot of keeping a cool head in a crisis...quite the opposite of "cancel the late teas":rolleyes:

[FlapJackMuncher]

re Canberra at Akrotiri.
Sounds awfully like the story surrounding the Canberra (WK116) that gets regular visitors, one wing at 35m down, the rest somewhat deeper.

The nav's seat was brought to the surface a few years back. Current whereabouts unknown.

[1.3VStall]

Capt N N,

The accident to which you refer was in March 1983 at Akronelli. The Bucc OCU was on detachment and had a four-ship lining up. The said Canberra did a showboating low pass along the runway downwind and pulled up over the Bucc formation.

I was on the VAS pan at the time strapping myself and a stude into a Falke motor glider. A cpl and jnr tech from VAS were waiting for the Canberra with a pair of marshalling bats and a set of chocks.

As the Canberra pulled up I lost sight of it as it went into my six o'clock. However, I clearly heard the bang bang as the martin-baker equipment functioned correctly.

The airmen who had watched the whole affair turned to each other and I remember to this day exactly what the cpl said "No point in staying here mate, it's gone in". With that they walked off back to VAS without further comment!

Of course within seconds there were a million heads in local and sirens all over the place. It took me a while to have the temerity to call for taxi!

The Canberra nav was in the bar that evening and the pilot was in dock with a sore back.

In the following days I never heard anyone mention any witty transmission by the crew, so I don't believe this was the apocryphal accident.

[Top Bunk Tester]

WRT to the Akronelli Canberra, I was on TASF at the time, but off shift. Shortly after the crash alarm went a tannoy went out for any qualified divers to report to 10 Port immediately. I had my gear in the back of the car, fully charged, so pootled off down the beach road. When I got there, the only one to respond I hasten to add, they wanted me to do a rope dive onto what was left. 'What depth?" I asked, 'About 300 feet' came the reply. After picking myself up of the floor and giving them a quick lesson in physics, we stood on the dock and there was this heavy graunching sound as one Her Majesty's finest launchs wrapped it's prop around a 1" hawser in their haste to get out to the scene. Cut to the chase, I got my rope dive, hacksawing through said hawser underneath the launch at a depth of about 6 feet........they did buy me a case of Keo though for getting them out of the sh1t :)

[lsh]

I suppose it takes the SH Force to do it the other way round!?
In the Falklands "Gibbo" is reputed to have ordered "4 late meals" on the HF, when he heard that Atlantic Conveyor was sunk!
lsh