Bootneck
10th Aug 2008, 20:27
This was posted yesterday by a friend of mine. Your thoughts folks.
Vine is a 'comedian'. Presently appearing in Edinburgh.
Tim Vine on the Last Post:
Laughing at school is the heartiest laughing you will ever do in your life. When you discover yourself in the wonderful world of teendom, you start finding the smallest of situations uproariously funny. As long as you are with your buddies, anything can quickly become a recipe for hysteria, particularly at someone else’s expense. And of all the scenarios most likely to bring on waves of barely stifled guffaws, at the top of the list, for me, was always the occasion when you must not laugh. Being in an enclosed space with my mates, knowing that laughter would be wholly inappropriate, was the surest way to make it start.
This brings me to a piece of music that has been close to my heart ever since my school days. I refer to The Last Post, that strangely haunting tune, played on one trumpet, that never quite seems to get started. It begins with two sustained notes, then, almost as though the composer was trying to attract someone’s attention on the other side of the room, repeats the two notes and a couple of others at about five times the speed. There’s a moment to reflect, then the two notes again. Who it was that decided this comedy melody, played on — let’s face it — a rather amusing instrument, should be performed after two minutes’ silence to remember people who died in the war, I don’t know, but for me and my friends it was irresistible. Having just spent the longest two minutes of our lives trying to avoid actually exploding with laughter, the fact that the silence was broken by this tune of all tunes, and usually played by a fellow pupil who sounded as though he’d taken up the trumpet only the previous day . . . Well, there was just no defence against it.
The shoulders rocked up and down like a piston. One hand was clasped over the mouth, with thumb and index finger pinching the nostrils for dear life. Involuntary splutters were unconvincingly followed by decoy coughs.
Yes, I love that tune for all the joy it brought me and all the memories it has given me, for there is nothing quite so life-affirming as looking sideways along a row of friends and seeing them all, to a man, heads down, chins against their chests, faces contorted, each fighting his own private ordeal.
Even now, with my school days having long since disappeared from my rear-view mirror, I can still vividly recall the sound of that wavering trumpet note, the backward snort of a smothered laugh and the sight of a bubble ballooning from my best mate’s nose. The Last Post. Thank goodness it didn’t have lyrics.
The comedian Tim Vine will be appearing at the Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, until August 16
What a ****,
Now a letter written to him by a Royal Marines major.
Dear Mr Vine,
I suspect I will be only one of many who were outraged at your rather unpleasant and flippant 'piece' in the Sunday Times 'Culture' supplement regarding the Last Post, or 'comedy melody' as you put it.
Whilst I'm sure your intention was not to offend, I can't believe that someone of your obvious intellect (you do need to be clever to be a successful comedian) could have been insensible to the reaction your article would generate from serving and ex-members of the Armed Forces and their families/dependants.
I have been in the Royal Marines for 29 years and have lost many friends and colleagues over that time, killed whilst fighting for this country. So, the next time you feel 'compelled' to hold your silence, whilst marking respect for the thousands who have selflessly paid the highest price for this country, rather than suppressing the childish urge to laugh, perhaps you might take the time to reflect on the tragedy of each and every death in armed conflict, and consider the great sacrifices that were, and still are being, made to ensure you have the freedom of speech you so obviously enjoy today.
Under the circumstances, you might consider making a sincere, public apology. I for one would welcome it, and, who knows, if you did, you might even win back some modicum of respect from those in my profession who are involved in the deadly serious business of war fighting.
Yours sincerely,
P E Rhodes
Major, Royal Marines
Mr Vine's email addy and website.
Official Tim Vine Website (http://www.timvine.com/)
[email protected]
His list of venues, why not pop along and enjoy the show? He's appearing at Aldershot, I think he may regret choosing that particular venue once the lads on Arrse hear about him.
SEPTEMBER
2 SWANSEA GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 01792 475715 City and County of Swansea - Grand Theatre (http://www.swanseagrand.co.uk)
5 YORK GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 0844 847 2322 GRAND OPERA HOUSE YORK : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.grandoperahouseyork.org.uk)
6 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM 8.00PM 0844 8472426 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.grimsbyauditorium.org.uk)
10 HAYES BECK THEATRE 8.00PM 0208 561 8371 Beck Theatre - An HQ Theatre (http://www.becktheatre.org.uk)
12 BIRMINGHAM ALEXANDRA THEATRE 8.00PM 0870 607 7533 ALEXANDRA THEATRE BIRMINGHAM : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.AlexandraTheatre.org.uk)
13 REDDITCH PALACE THEATRE 7.30PM 01527 65203 Palace Theatre, Redditch (http://www.redditchpalacetheatre.co.uk)
14 BRIGHTON THEATRE ROYAL 7.45PM 08700 606 650 Theatre Royal, Brighton: Diary (http://www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal)
17 ALDERSHOT PRINCES HALL 7.45PM 01252 329 155 Princes Hall :: Homepage (http://www.princeshall.com)
18 CROYDON FAIRFIELD HALLS 7.45PM 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk
19 SALFORD LOWRY 8.00PM 0870 787 5790 The Lowry Salford Quays: Theatres, Galleries, Restaurant, Cafés, Bars and Gift Shop (http://www.thelowry.com)
Vine is a 'comedian'. Presently appearing in Edinburgh.
Tim Vine on the Last Post:
Laughing at school is the heartiest laughing you will ever do in your life. When you discover yourself in the wonderful world of teendom, you start finding the smallest of situations uproariously funny. As long as you are with your buddies, anything can quickly become a recipe for hysteria, particularly at someone else’s expense. And of all the scenarios most likely to bring on waves of barely stifled guffaws, at the top of the list, for me, was always the occasion when you must not laugh. Being in an enclosed space with my mates, knowing that laughter would be wholly inappropriate, was the surest way to make it start.
This brings me to a piece of music that has been close to my heart ever since my school days. I refer to The Last Post, that strangely haunting tune, played on one trumpet, that never quite seems to get started. It begins with two sustained notes, then, almost as though the composer was trying to attract someone’s attention on the other side of the room, repeats the two notes and a couple of others at about five times the speed. There’s a moment to reflect, then the two notes again. Who it was that decided this comedy melody, played on — let’s face it — a rather amusing instrument, should be performed after two minutes’ silence to remember people who died in the war, I don’t know, but for me and my friends it was irresistible. Having just spent the longest two minutes of our lives trying to avoid actually exploding with laughter, the fact that the silence was broken by this tune of all tunes, and usually played by a fellow pupil who sounded as though he’d taken up the trumpet only the previous day . . . Well, there was just no defence against it.
The shoulders rocked up and down like a piston. One hand was clasped over the mouth, with thumb and index finger pinching the nostrils for dear life. Involuntary splutters were unconvincingly followed by decoy coughs.
Yes, I love that tune for all the joy it brought me and all the memories it has given me, for there is nothing quite so life-affirming as looking sideways along a row of friends and seeing them all, to a man, heads down, chins against their chests, faces contorted, each fighting his own private ordeal.
Even now, with my school days having long since disappeared from my rear-view mirror, I can still vividly recall the sound of that wavering trumpet note, the backward snort of a smothered laugh and the sight of a bubble ballooning from my best mate’s nose. The Last Post. Thank goodness it didn’t have lyrics.
The comedian Tim Vine will be appearing at the Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, until August 16
What a ****,
Now a letter written to him by a Royal Marines major.
Dear Mr Vine,
I suspect I will be only one of many who were outraged at your rather unpleasant and flippant 'piece' in the Sunday Times 'Culture' supplement regarding the Last Post, or 'comedy melody' as you put it.
Whilst I'm sure your intention was not to offend, I can't believe that someone of your obvious intellect (you do need to be clever to be a successful comedian) could have been insensible to the reaction your article would generate from serving and ex-members of the Armed Forces and their families/dependants.
I have been in the Royal Marines for 29 years and have lost many friends and colleagues over that time, killed whilst fighting for this country. So, the next time you feel 'compelled' to hold your silence, whilst marking respect for the thousands who have selflessly paid the highest price for this country, rather than suppressing the childish urge to laugh, perhaps you might take the time to reflect on the tragedy of each and every death in armed conflict, and consider the great sacrifices that were, and still are being, made to ensure you have the freedom of speech you so obviously enjoy today.
Under the circumstances, you might consider making a sincere, public apology. I for one would welcome it, and, who knows, if you did, you might even win back some modicum of respect from those in my profession who are involved in the deadly serious business of war fighting.
Yours sincerely,
P E Rhodes
Major, Royal Marines
Mr Vine's email addy and website.
Official Tim Vine Website (http://www.timvine.com/)
[email protected]
His list of venues, why not pop along and enjoy the show? He's appearing at Aldershot, I think he may regret choosing that particular venue once the lads on Arrse hear about him.
SEPTEMBER
2 SWANSEA GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 01792 475715 City and County of Swansea - Grand Theatre (http://www.swanseagrand.co.uk)
5 YORK GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 0844 847 2322 GRAND OPERA HOUSE YORK : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.grandoperahouseyork.org.uk)
6 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM 8.00PM 0844 8472426 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.grimsbyauditorium.org.uk)
10 HAYES BECK THEATRE 8.00PM 0208 561 8371 Beck Theatre - An HQ Theatre (http://www.becktheatre.org.uk)
12 BIRMINGHAM ALEXANDRA THEATRE 8.00PM 0870 607 7533 ALEXANDRA THEATRE BIRMINGHAM : OFFICIAL WEBSITE (http://www.AlexandraTheatre.org.uk)
13 REDDITCH PALACE THEATRE 7.30PM 01527 65203 Palace Theatre, Redditch (http://www.redditchpalacetheatre.co.uk)
14 BRIGHTON THEATRE ROYAL 7.45PM 08700 606 650 Theatre Royal, Brighton: Diary (http://www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal)
17 ALDERSHOT PRINCES HALL 7.45PM 01252 329 155 Princes Hall :: Homepage (http://www.princeshall.com)
18 CROYDON FAIRFIELD HALLS 7.45PM 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk
19 SALFORD LOWRY 8.00PM 0870 787 5790 The Lowry Salford Quays: Theatres, Galleries, Restaurant, Cafés, Bars and Gift Shop (http://www.thelowry.com)