Warship - the 2008 TV version

[Ray Dahvectac]

On Five Monday 19th May at 9pm. Six-part series.

This new, six-part observational documentary series is filmed onboard the aircraft carrier HMS Illustrious during a four-month deployment. The programme follows the professional lives of the crew as well as the personal stories of the young men and women who are thousands of miles from home. In the first episode, problems plague Illustrious's departure from Portsmouth and the crew members are assessed to see if they are battle-ready.

The mighty Illustrious aircraft carrier is about to set sail on a four-month deployment. With a crew of 1,000, this 22,000-ton floating city - nicknamed 'Lusty' - is home to all manner of sailors, from stewards to engineers, officers to deckhands. The ship's projected route will take it through the Strait of Gibraltar, across the Mediterranean and through the Suez Canal to the Indian Ocean, where it will support Harrier jump jets serving in Afghanistan.

The man overseeing this massive operation - two years in the planning - is Captain Steve Chick, on his first mission in charge of an aircraft carrier. "Obviously, there's an element of nervousness for anybody in taking command of a ship for the first time," he says. "Getting to know the ship, getting to know how it handles, getting to know the people."

Captain Chick's crew includes a large number of new recruits, each of whom has his or her own reason for signing up. Lieutenant John 'Sid' Little left a job in a clothes shop to serve as a trainee weapons engineer. "It wasn't really what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, so I thought I'd make a career choice and join the navy," he says. Trainee warfare officer Suzie Williford sees the navy as her calling. "I realised this is what I wanted to do," she says. "I wanted to drive ships. I wanted to be in command." Nineteen-year-old John Farnsworth, meanwhile, was attracted by the prospect of playing for the ship's football team.

Before Lusty can depart British waters, the crew members must pass tests to prove they are battle-ready. Tensions run high as a team of tough naval inspectors arrives onboard to stage a series of mock battles. Kitted out in fireproof suits, the sailors are put through their paces in everything from firing weapons and fighting fires to first aid and cooking meals under pressure. "You've got to get it right," says inspector Captain Michael Cockran. "If you get it wrong, people get killed."

Unfortunately for the Lusty's eager but inexperienced sailors, they fail the first test. The ship docks in Portland, Devon and crew members are allowed 48 hours' shore leave to let their hair down as only sailors know how. But when yet another problem strikes the engines, rumours circulate that Illustrious must return to Portsmouth for a two-month layoff. Is the trip over before it has even begun?

Don't shoot me for the above quote - I am but the messenger.

[exscribbler]

I thought Portland was in Dorset... :ugh:

Let's hope this doesn't turn out to be the sort of programme in which we are breathlessly informed of how many football pitches would fit on her flight deck or how many London buses would equal her length.

[hurn]

Let's hope this doesn't turn out to be the sort of programme in which we are breathlessly informed of how many football pitches would fit on her flight deck
Its about one for a Brit aircraft carrier isn't it? (5 a side that is) :E

[Beatriz Fontana]

The Telegraph described it as "not quite the recruitment series of Sailor in the 1970s", but certainly worth a look.

[High_lander]

I wonder if it will be as good as Carrier that was shown on PBS in the US/online.

Cracking programme that.

[BEagle]

It would be very interesting to compare 'Warship' with 'Sailor'.....

As well as the programmes, perhaps a comparison of the RN's capabilities then and now would also prove....interesting :hmm:.

[exscribbler]

Sailor was just superb, if sad that it was the Ark's last commission.

What about the series about HMS Brilliant in 1995? I seem to recall a memorable run in Istanbul and a WEM getting himself in bother for slugging an officer.

The much earlier (1973-1977) docu-drama "Warship" about HMS Hero (PHOEBE in disguise) was required viewing. Incidentally, there are some lovely photographs of her in the Phoebe Bar in the Bournemouth Pavilion.

I don't remember many such series about the RAF... :E

[8-15fromOdium]

ExScribbler, what about Squadron from the early 80's?

[MightyGem]

I wonder if it will be as good as Carrier that was shown on PBS in the US/online.
Shame that they've now blocked it before I could finish it.

[MAINJAFAD]

Squadron - Good concept, P!sh acting and some poor stories. Did have a Phantom killing a Jag in the first one though.

[thunderbird7]

Yeah! What ABOUT Squadron! What a pile of sh1te! Bring back Fighter Pilot and the flying milkman!

[Double Zero]

Yes, but the 'Phantom killing Jag' was a bit close to home at the time after recent events !

There was also a sequence as I recall of a Harrier GR3 managing to straddle a target vehicle with Matra 155's !

" Good shooting, Biffo ! " - More like sheer b***dy amazing !

' Warship ' wasn't too special either, long on dull scripts & short on action footage - better off watching ' Thunderbirds ', as a Test pilot I knew remarked !

There is an hotel near Sandhead, by the West Freugh range ( the scrapyard was nearby ) which has the quite impressively detailed damage-control flooding diagram of the 1970's Ark Royal.

[exscribbler]

A Phantom killing a Jag? Script writer's poetic licence, surely? :E

Sorry, I'd forgotten "Fighter Pilot"; according to t'interweb that was the one which upset Their Airships when it showed a young officer at home - eating baked beans. :ugh:

Anyone remember "A Piece of Cake"? "Behind you, Ginger!" "Take that, you dirty Hun!" etc., etc.. Oh dear.

[Beatriz Fontana]

exscribbler, I have a copy of the book "Fighter Pilot" that accompanied the series. An old library was throwing it out - we're talking about 20 years ago, now!

The six "characters" in the series were Trevor Lewis, Robbie Low, John McCrea, Martin Oxborrow, Rhoderick Smart and Alistair Stewart.

The BBC made a documentary on board HMS Eagle in the 1960s. Will report back as my dad has a copy and I'm seeing him later in the week.

[EODFelix]

What about "Test Pilot" c1985/6?

[The Nip]

Surely the best was 'Get Some In'. Truthful and accurate!

[MAINJAFAD]

Was a very unfriendly jaguar though, it had shot down a Puma. Also had a strange capacity of being able to change camouflage in flight between of the RAF and Oman AF scheme and back. Saying that I do remember somebody writing a latter to ‘Points of View’ or whatever show did its role at the time saying why did the Phantom change colour scheme when it launched a missile??? Of course if you really want to go down market on RAF Drama, there is always the 1995 ITV one off ‘Strike Force’, made Squadron look totally brilliant. Most of Squadron was filmed before the Falklands, as some of the Harriers in it, later fought in the war (According to the bible on the subject, Falklands – The Air War), so maybe the final script of the first episode of Squadron was written before the incident on 25 May 82.

[exscribbler]

EAGLE in the 1960s... Sea Vixens... Scimitars... Gannets... Perhaps a Buccaneer or two...

Heaven.

Get Some In here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_Some_In!

[Widger]

There was also that 80s series based at a secret CRP somewhere in Scotland, forgot what it was called...truly awful television!

[LBGR]

Slightly off topic, there was the BBC 'Comedy' All along the watchtower (1999). I say 'comedy', that is at least how the BBC described it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Along_the_Watchtower_(TV_series)

[D O Guerrero]

Did anyone see "Making Waves"? Utter pap... so bad that even ITV had to pull the plug on it.

[tornadohotas]

What happened to six "characters" from the Fighter Pilot series - Trevor Lewis, Robbie Low, John McCrea, Martin Oxborrow, Rhoderick Smart and Alistair Stewart.It would be interesting to know where they all moved on to and how their careers developed.

[spheroid]

I heard a buzz from my oppo in Fleet that the good ship Lusty lost something important a few days ago......anyone else heard that?

[LateArmLive]

Relevance? Oh no, that went years ago..............

[Double Zero]

Please god, tell me it was only an aircraft ( with no-one in it ) or weapon system, not something vital like the Admirals' wardrobe ?

Not referring to any particular Admiral on board now, by ratios of such types to ships at least 3 ?

" Relevance " - thought that went out of the window when we saw the poor sods going to fight in 'Top Gun' being loaded with practice / acquisition AIM -9's !

[TheSmiter]

Err, a bit of side netting?

[exscribbler]

Just watched Warship. Pleasingly, there was only one breathless comment and that was about the engines having the same power as 200 family cars. Is that a family car like a VW Polo with 75bhp or an Evo VIII with 400?

Wrens look a little different these days, too... :=

Next week we get to meet "the big boys" - cue shots of Harriers landing on. Hmm. :ugh:

[taxydual]

And the usual crap about London buses end to end. But so far so good.
Exscribbler is right. The WREN's have come on in leaps and bounds since my day!!!

[Flugplatz]

I agree about the Wrens but then they always did have the best uniform (probably now have the same as the guys). Always were a few looking hot at the NAAFI bop:).

Thought the show was overall pretty good, but the breakdowns are surely the result of the 'stop-start' nature of ship's deployment these days; itself a reaction to spending cuts. Limited spares and many months spent in port.

Good to see the good humour of youth and their sense of optimism.

Flug

[Charizard]

Pretty good show, although personally I reckon the Wrens at Yeovilton and Culdrose were pretty unbeatable in my day. (Maybe just because I got luckier back then!) I was never advised to get that close to jolly jack returning on board late at night, needed to keep a trusty regulator close to hand to beat them down and chuck them in irons.
Not sure about this 'big boy' stuff though, but worth watching again to see.
I reckon the tech problems are facilitated by dear old twojobs Des:yuk: and budgetary problems.

[gareth herts]

exscribbler, I have a copy of the book "Fighter Pilot" that accompanied the series. An old library was throwing it out - we're talking about 20 years ago, now!

The six "characters" in the series were Trevor Lewis, Robbie Low, John McCrea, Martin Oxborrow, Rhoderick Smart and Alistair Stewart.

The BBC made a documentary on board HMS Eagle in the 1960s. Will report back as my dad has a copy and I'm seeing him later in the week.

I have the HMS Eagle documentary on VHS somewhere - it was repeated in the 80s at some point. I'll dig it our later.

Seem to remember a few great characters on there including one youngish looking Sea Vixen or Bucc pilot who describes night carrier traps as "A bloody hairy business!"

[Double Zero]

Gareth,

I live next door to a retired Admiral who agrees wholeheartedly - reckoned the ' Vixen was " like flying a tank " even in daytime- and god knows what it was like in the coal-hole !

He neatly side-stepped the problem by giving up flying to drive ships - probably a good move financially, but not very red-blooded by true FAA standards.

I am a well known Harrier fan, nevertheless I still can't see the logic of such brutes as Sea Vixens & Buccaneers on what were even then relatively small carriers ( I know about blown surfaces etc & general engine / weapon development status of the time ).

The other Admirals' on the spot -comment on Bill Bedfords' first carrier landing by Harrier - " Usually, new aircraft arrive ever heavier & faster, what impressed me most today was the total absence of fright on the deck - a complete reversal of trend ! "

- Has a lot going for it, seems to me - even the JSF is alledged to be too heavy for 'Ocean's deck, so I presume that means we're stuck with one platform or relying on allies still.

P.S please check your PM's.

DZ

[exscribbler]

Charizard: Presumably you were also told that if the OOD was thumped by Jolly Jack with a skinful it was his (the OOD's) fault. That OOD looked as if he knew what he was doing as he was very grey-haired for a Lt. If moored to buoys a good ploy was to make the boat stand off until the noise-makers all sobered up or at least calmed down - which takes some cojones at 0330!

The "big boys" will doubtless show us a thing or two next week; I can't wait. :E

I recall that a Civil Serpent who was proposing that Observers' flying pay be reduced was treated to a night landing in a Sea King on the usual heaving deck. The proposal was not proceeded with - but as that was some years ago things may well have changed.

[Knight Paladin]

I have to grudglingly admit that I actually didn't think the programme could hold a candle to the US "Carrier" series. Overly dumbed down, and I didn't think it really painted the military in a massively positive light, quite unlike its american counterpart. Mind you, I shouldn't really be expecting much more from C5, bless 'em.

Maybe that's just me though!

[JEM60]

Sorry. Found it rather boring, and didn't watch it to the end.

[x213a]

Will no doubt turn into the same old series that focuses primarily on a few onboard "celebrities" or those who think they are. Normally a gob****e steward

[francophile69]

What an load of drivel.

Thought initially they must be concentrating on all the first trippers because all the experienced hands did not fancy cameras being pointed at them.

As the programme progressed it dawned on me what an inexperienced bunch of amateurs were masquerading on a front-line warship.

The fiasco in (disputed) Iranian waters started to make sense.

The fiasco about having to return to port because of fridge plant and O.W.S. failures started to make sense.

What was that rubbish about shaft problems at the end of the programme about? Either problems with shaft bearings/thrust bearings were apparent or they weren't (and clearly they weren't) leading me to assume that either the Engineering staff were massively incompetent or they had agreed to "pretend" to allow a typical channel 5 "cliffhanger".

Interesting shot of the ECR, is it necessary to have about 40 people in there? Hopefully it was a case of "oh goody lets get on the telly". Incredible to think P&O manage to operate 110,000 tonnes cruise ships with TWO engineers on watch?

Just spoke to a couple or ex RN mates as I thought it was just me over-reacting. One couldn't watch it to the end and the other said he was embarrassed to watch the level of incompetence on show.

[x213a]

I'll save you all watching it, this is what (probably) happens.

Interview with Skipper's, Navvy's, random senior rate's wives and a token Wren's husband on their thoughts about forthcoming separation.

Shots of kids playing on lawn on married patch.

Ship filmed leaving dockyard wall to waving crowds of families.

Straight into a firex where random senior rate (see above) is DCO.

A quick ADEX to give the ops room some camera time.

Scran time where the supp officer informs us how many eggs the ship will get through on it's deployment and how many times round the world the bog rolls used by the Wren's mess would go.

A flyex with various aviation niff naff and trivia thrown in.

Down to the messdecks where gobby steward (who was badly doing incident board operator in previous firex) introduces us to his unique brand of cheesy humour and cliches as he shows us around his mess. Clubswinger orbitting menacingly just within shot.

Interview down Wrens mess with token wren stoker in ovies full of grease. She is missing home but realises there is a job to be done and its what she signed up for.

Captain is on the bridge, the sun is setting and he outlines his aspirations for the forthcoming deployment. End of episode one,

Next week...A safeguard fire in an EDC, a wren is support party team leader. Somebody is medivac'd and the naafi runs out of Tomyam flavour potnoodles:}

[exscribbler]

Nice transit from officer accomodation to mess deck where JJ (aka Shiner the Twin) wakes his oppo to meet the camera team. Why didn't they show the bit where he leaned out of his bunk and smacked him in the gob?

My God! No Pot Noodles? How ever will they survive?

[x213a]

They are saving themselves for the flightdeck cock 'n arse in Valleta.
Also exclusive footage of the flightdeck net maximum weight trials with a Merlin:}

[mlc]

I was at sea when Wrens first came aboard. They said they could do everything the men could do. Right up to the point someone bought ALL the Tampax from the NAAFI.

[Al R]

On tonight's episode, why did it take 45 minutes or so to consider turning about to look for someone who was missing and possibly overboard? Would it not be a prudent measure to consider long before then or perhaps at least slowing down, or does the ship turn better if going quickly?

These things have lost the fly in the wall appeal they used to have. Everyone is too media aware, everything seems staged and the whole thing seems to be one long mutual BBC/RN love in.

[Tourist]

More importantly, they seem to be hiding the fact that Tim Johnston (the Cdr),
is a complete tool!

[It's Not Working]

Attention to detail please Al

and the whole thing seems to be one long mutual BBC/RN love in.

Detail today, ammo pouch tomorrow

[Al R]

INW said:
Attention to detail please Al. Detail today, ammo pouch tomorrow


lol.. fair one.

I was reminded of those coppers in the first BBC FotW series, the one when they were slagging the woman off for making a statement of alleged rape and they were taking the p#ss out of her and suggesting she was a time waster. Big difference in production values.

eta: Cheers Ninja, EOSM.. thanks - could you ask someone more important for a mailing address please?

[ninja-lewis]

Think they mentioned in an earlier episode that they had to be at Suez at a specific time. Additionally, AIUI, the sailor hadn't been seen since the night before so there would have been little chance that he was still alive if he had fallen overboard. It may be that in their experience, the missing person more often than not was never missing in the first place or was somewhere in the ship. Therefore it wouldn't appear to imprudent to first confirm the person was missing (rollcall) and then search the ship.

[SpringHeeledJack]

Regarding tonights episode, there was a segment about the laundry run by the Chinese gentlemen. I know that it has been naval tradition for the laundrymen to be from Hong Kong and that they're very efficient. I'm curious to know what status do they have within a naval world. Are they civilian or military or a completely separate entity. How are they vetted regarding security, bearing in mind their country of residence ?

And just what did the Spanish Harriers do to put those holes in the deck of Illustrious during their stay onboard ? :E


Regards


SHJ

[LateArmLive]

Soooooooo, anyone got any good stories about the man-overboard alarm on Lusty being accidentally set off whilst enjoying a few softies at 3am? :}:E

Al R - I can assure you she turns pretty quickly when she needs to!

[D120A]

I was privileged to go to sea with the Royal Navy for a couple of days during an RAF Staff College course, many moons ago. I remember a very senior chief petty officer describing the original BBC series Warship, being aired at the time, as absolutely unmissable watching throughout the fleet because it was 'the best naval comedy of all time'.

"Surely, Chief," I said, "the best naval comedy of all time was Lawrie Wyman's The Navy Lark on BBC Radio?"

"Coo, no sir." he said. "That was a documentary."

:ok::ok::ok:

[D O Guerrero]

"More importantly, they seem to be hiding the fact that Tim Johnston (the Cdr),
is a complete tool!"

A bit harsh....

[sitigeltfel]

More red faces for the "Senior" Service.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/low/uk_news/scotland/7432732.stm

Asleep, on watch, on an SSN! :=

[November4]

Has any found if this is available via Youtube or a Torrent like the Ross Kemp one was? Have tried searching and haven't managed to find it yet.

Thanks

[sitigeltfel]

The video can be seen on the Sun website here..

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1238318.ece

Any Navy types out there who can let us know what regs there are regarding recording equipment on board subs, or in general?

[ninja-lewis]

Try www.uknova.com (http://www.uknova.com) for a torrent.

[D O Guerrero]

Classic comment on the BBC news page starting with "Am I thick or what...?". Yes.
Personally I thought the XO's b***ocking wasn't as bad as it could have been.

[francophile69]

Must admit to a chuckle on the Suez transit....

When the sun condescended to rise everyone could relax as now at a lower state of readiness as less risk of attack?

erm why not transit during daylight?

We always managed to. Now if even our deck officers could manage it then it really can't be that difficult to arrange......

Incidently anyone see the Black Pig paying off with nearly 5,000,000 nautical miles on the clock? What's the average for a RN vessel. Any ideas?

I do recall a fuss being made of Frigate/Destroyer type thingy paying off with a "it's steamed a million miles you know" comment being bandied about.

[exscribbler]

Surely cruise ships will cover a greater mileage than warships because if they aren't working they aren't earning - which is hardly the case with the RN... :E

BTW, I missed Warship yesterday because I fell asleep on watch - as Mrs Ex has several times reminded me today. :=

[SPIT]

I didn't know that the RN/FAA still had any fixed wing a/c belonging to them on their ships :confused::confused:

[Tricorn]

erm why not transit during daylight?



Let me take a guess.........................cost?

[airborne_artist]

Is it possible that Illustrious entered the canal in the dark simply because it was dark when she got there?

[spheroid]

Regarding tonights episode, there was a segment about the laundry run by the Chinese gentlemen. I know that it has been naval tradition for the laundrymen to be from Hong Kong and that they're very efficient. I'm curious to know what status do they have within a naval world. Are they civilian or military or a completely separate entity. How are they vetted regarding security, bearing in mind their country of residence ?


They used to come rom HK but since we gave it back they tend to come from anywhere at the moment. They are civilians and treated as civilians (in 1982 they were given the option to stay at home - most of them remained). I don't think they have any security clearance as they simply do the washing and ironing.

[taxydual]

I recall a story from years ago that whilst at anchor in HK, a very junior Midshipman aboard a very big Aircraft Carrier instructed the duty Telegraphist to send a signal to the shore base that read "Send Admiral's woman aboard".

This was followed (after a major bo££ocking from the Commander) by a correction signal that read "insert 'washer' between Admiral's and woman".

I know it's pointless, but I'm bored.................I'll get my coat, then.

[I'm Off!]

What an embarrassment this series is to the men and women of the RN that are currently operating in Iraq/Afghanistan. I'm afraid to say that the only sentiment that I felt on watching this was that I cannot wait to leave this amateurish tinpot organisation!!

[x213a]

I'm curious to know what status do they have within a naval world. Are they civilian or military or a completely separate entity. How are they vetted regarding security, bearing in mind their country of residence ?




The "Chorgis" normally keep themselves to themselves and many often live and sleep in the laundry compt. On some ships the elect to live in a messdeck with No1 laundryman sometimes using the senior rates mess. They are treated as civilian but have the same privileges as whatever mess they allocated such as senior rates mess= spirits in the mess and senior rates dining hall etc. Many are very good charachters on board.

Naafi staff are essentially the same but the Canteen manager (canman) belongs to the sr mess whilst the cannass is normally with the jr's. Some do get carried away with it and think they are chiefs because they belong to that mess though but are usually quickly "corrected".

[taxydual]

Why an embarrassment?

It's shows the usual drunks/cock up's/SNAFU's/bull****/warts and all situations that are part of normal service life.

However, as always, when the chips are down...............out comes the professionalism. Wait and watch. Then, if you are so minded, condemn.

Regards

[SOTV]

On one ship we had 2 lots of Chogeys. One in the laundry and another couple set up a Jewing shop turning out No1s, 2s, 8s, boxer shorts, excellent tropical rig and custom made civvy suits, shirts etc. I remember getting a 'tiddly No1 suit' made out of lightweight barathea. No zip, button flap 32" bells with lead shot in the hem. Zipless jumper with low cut front. 2 white fronts, 1 collar, one silk and tapes for £40.

Quite the little Jackmedhobeybucket.

Number 1 dhobeyman died on that deployment. Spent 2 months in the freezers before we got him back to Guzz.

:}

[x213a]

Most Jimmys ban chorgi made tropical shorts & shirts nowadays.:sad:

[SOTV]

Pussers sandals were obviously made from old Maltese donkey pelts that had been in store since Aladdin was a lad. I spent two weeks treating them to saddle soap and the ministrations of a sailmakers fid but still got blisters upon blisters. Chogey sandals were the norm from the skipper down.

I hear tales from my own and old oppos sons that are serving today and it seems most of the fun has left the house now.

Sad times.

:sad:

[buoy15]

HMS Superb EXO Lt Cdr John Aitken demonstrated good leadership - he spoke to the ships company 'warts and all' - perhaps this dour sod of a PM could speak to his government along the same lines and then remove most of the warts before the Tory's remove them all:ok:

[exscribbler]

Nothing about last night's episode, yet?

For what it's worth, I thought it was unremittingly dreadful apart from when the Harriers came aboard, although I was surprised the RAF pilots weren't complaining about the accommodation. :E

The narrator talked about floors instead of decks (they even call them decks on cruise liners, FFS!), we were breathlessly informed that the engine in a Harrier can lift 10 family cars, gormless uninterested trainee "it's boring" PWO wanting to be a bean-counter so she can be with her boyfriend, etc., etc.. This was the greatest dumbing-down of all time.

C:mad:t all-b:mad:y mighty, is it come to this?

[frostbite]

Typical C5 treatment of a potentially good subject.

The BBC version was so much better, all those years ago.

[airborne_artist]

It has to be said that the Subby PWO-to-be was about as dull as a wet Wednesday in Skegness. A good example of a graduate having had an easy-ish three years at university and not being able to get her head round Service life. She may have lasted longer in a smaller ship, perhaps? The little steward has more going for her, and that's saying something.

I guess the reality is that until there's a war/major civil emergency, life at sea is much like life elsewhere, routine and not full of life/death moments 24/7. Not really a big surprise.

I remember quite a few leaving BRNC and finding it a bit of a let down. One was a Divisional Sub Lt who had thoroughly enjoyed the status of being a big fish in small pond, and found the small fish/big pond thing too hard. He left.

[Union Jack]

I sadly have to agree with the general tenor of remarks about the latest episode - the Navy has obviously no great say on what does or does not go out.

I also totally agree with AA's point about how the junior Warfare Officer would have been much better off in a frigate or destroyer - more responsibility and, ergo, more job satisfaction much sooner.

On a higher level, it does seem rather odd that Cdr (Air), who I believe hasn't previously had a look-in, didn't even get interviewed when the Harriers landed on or were launched. And as for the young pilot's remarks about the ship's company complaining about the inconvenience of the squadrons being embarked .... Reminds me of the old mnemonic for the bugle call sounding the Alert when an officer of flag rank boards or leaves a ship - "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here"!

On an even higher level (relatively speaking), I had to smile when I saw that the Commander-in-Chief - No, not George Bush! - was wearing what I believe were US Navy white shoes! And no, he - rather like the captain (who seems to keep a very low profile) didn't get enough airtime either.

Jack

PS AA - Still hoping for a reaction to my April PM ....

[4mastacker]

The BBC version was so much better, all those years ago.

Yes, a programme with a decent signature tune about a proper aircraft carrier with what were, IMHO, proper aircraft and some real characters - 'Uncle' Tom (the Master at Arms), in particular. He would have sorted out that lady u/t Weapons Officer in short order - not that there were any females serving on the Ark in those days (though I did have my doubts about a couple of killicks on 892 when they were disembarked to Leuchars).

[Flugplatz]

And you can bet there were a few blokes who were desperate to go to the Warfare branch but didn't get it because it was 'under-represented with women'.

It could be a great series but of course only the most banal and trivial incidents and comments make it onto the screen. There is virtually nothing about the roles and duties of those on board or about the capability of the deployed ships.
It never ceases to amaze me that mil pers seem to forget that ANYTHING they say or do may be broadcast (Harrier pilot going on about peeing in a bottle and 'drunken' 'Bish falling into the sea - they probably recorded several hours of good interviews with these two where they talked well about the job and the satisfaction, but of course none of that is going to get on the screen). Shame, there must be a lot of good work going on, and real stories - all passed up for Big Brother-style bolleaux

Flug

[Green Flash]

What do the laundry men do when the ship is under attack? You know what I mean! - everyone on board has a duty ie firefighting, so what does the dhobi wallahs do?

[Navaleye]

A "Strike Carrier" with 4 aircraft on the biggest exercise of the year. Hmnnn :ugh: You will never have a properly cohesive unit without a dedicated CAG. Everyone knows the current arrangement is a load of BS. I gave up watching it.

[Wycombe]

Even the more recent "HMS Brilliant" series was much better.

I think the thing I learnt most about from last nights show was the "no touching" rule, nothing really of substance about the ship, or what it can do.

Is 4 GR9's really as much as she can carry with Merlin aboard aswell?

If so, roll on getting some proper carriers :ok:

[It's Not Working]

Airborne said:
It has to be said that the Subby PWO-to-be was about as dull as a wet Wednesday in Skegness. A good example of a graduate having had an easy-ish three years at university and not being able to get her head round Service life. She may have lasted longer in a smaller ship, perhaps? The little steward has more going for her, and that's saying something.

Strange, or perhaps refreshing, that 2 people can watch the same program and come away with opposing opinions. I felt desperately sorry for the Subby PWO-to-be. She had the nous to get a degree, a commission in the Royal Navy and survive x weeks at BRNC only to find her professional training as dull as a wet Wednesday in Skegness. I am sure she’ll be a loss to the service. As for the steward! I would imagine (hope) that she is hanging her head in embarrassment at last night’s episode as will her parents be. I thought these youngsters had a ‘sea-daddy’ to stop them making fools of themselves, where was he when it mattered? Top marks to the Captain’s chef however, do they all eat that well or was it a TV-meal?

Best fly-on-the-wall I can remember was Army Pilot, if I had my life again (and the eyesight)...

[exscribbler]

4mastacker: Was that the same hardb*stard Master who was in tears when he saw the Ark being cut up at Cairnryan? Despite rumours to the contrary, Masters are human. Just think, that was in 1980 - a lifetime ago.

HMS Brilliant? Who can forget Captain Rapp and his eyepatch?

[4mastacker]

ex-scribbler said:

4mastacker: Was that the same hardb*stard Master who was in tears when he saw the Ark being cut up at Cairnryan?

Yes, that's the man.

[airborne_artist]

Strange, or perhaps refreshing, that 2 people can watch the same program and come away with opposing opinions. I felt desperately sorry for the Subby PWO-to-be. She had the nous to get a degree, a commission in the Royal Navy and survive x weeks at BRNC only to find her professional training as dull as a wet Wednesday in Skegness. I am sure she’ll be a loss to the service.

INW - have you been asleep for the last fifteen years? All school-leavers get a degree these days. It's no longer just for grammar and public school kids!

Baby warfare officers do a term at BRNC, fourteen weeks at sea, and another term back at BRNC, so I'm surprised she found life as a watchkeeper such a shock.

[nunquamparatus]

Good or bad, whatever we service personnel think about how accurately Warship paints service life, DCC(N) (or whatever the weekly title appears to be) will, undoubtably, tell us that any PR is good PR - and, to an extent, they are right. If those of us old enough to remember the programme about BRILLIANT hark back to its airing I'm sure we will recall that it was panned by the service but very well received by Joe public - in fact recruiting figures showed a positive increase as a result.
Yes it would have been great to see an 8-ship launch and recovery, yes it would be good to see well motivated Seaman Officers under training (stopped myself from using Candidiates Under Naval Training) telling the programme how great life was in the Andrew - but that wouldn't make good telly (in the eyes of Ch5). It's never going to be totally representative but it did demonstrate that Toby does do some work (Paddles: "Power!") for which we should be eternally grateful.

At least htey don't seem to have CTK as a steward.............

[Strictly Jungly]

Francopile said:
Must admit to a chuckle on the Suez transit....

When the sun condescended to rise everyone could relax as now at a lower state of readiness as less risk of attack?

erm why not transit during daylight?

We always managed to. Now if even our deck officers could manage it then it really can't be that difficult to arrange......


erm Francopile...........I seem to remember that on a Southern Transit of the canal warships usually lead the convoy and depart around 2300 (funny old thing its usually dark then). This is planned so that the Southern bound convoy can anchor in the bitter lakes to allow the Northern bound convoy to pass them. Once past they continue South. A routine that has been operating for many years.

Three cheers to your deck officers but life on Lusty is a tad different to a Cruise ship (and I've done both). So wind yer t*ts in there's a good lad.

[nunquamparatus]

Jungly,

Hear, hear. I look forward to the next time Monsieur Francopile has to conduct a CASEX in ****e weather, in the dark, in close formation with some other idiots in waterspace not designed for that kind of george, whilst simultaneously conducting a procedural FLYEX and talking to the CO, PWO, NAAFI manager etc.

Must be difficult driving from A to B and not spilling the passenger's G&Ts........ or maybe we just have 'capacity':E

[Jimlad1]

"It has to be said that the Subby PWO-to-be was about as dull as a wet Wednesday in Skegness. A good example of a graduate having had an easy-ish three years at university and not being able to get her head round Service life. She may have lasted longer in a smaller ship, perhaps? The little steward has more going for her, and that's saying something"

I always understood that the "less robust" YO's were sent to Carriers for fleet time as it gave them more supervision and less chance to screw things up. The fact she was there suggests there may have been concerns about her...

[mlc]

Definitely. In my day your fleet training was split into two. If you were slightly suspect, you served both in a frigate/destroyer or larger.

I got a Ton Class Sweeper. Bin bags on the bridge wing anyone.:uhoh:

[taxydual]

Exscribbler

He cried.

Pretty sad really, all that was left of the Ark was a big lump of the stern he couldn't recognise..

He said at the time that she should have been towed out to sea and sunk intact.

[airborne_artist]

I got a Ton Class Sweeper. Bin bags on the bridge wing anyone.

Rolled on wet grass :E

When I was medically timed out and had to wait to re-start 705, I went to HMS Sabre. Frickin marvelous, though the wardroom was a tad small :ok:

[exscribbler]

airborne artist: like this one?

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm250/exscribbler/HMSSheratonM11814.jpg?t=1213210886

KELLINGTON is still at Stockton-on-Tees, I think. There's a bit of problem with moving her out for disposal in that the bright s*ds on the Council have built a bridge down river of her...

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm250/exscribbler/HMSKellingtonderelictatStockton-on-.jpg?t=1213211804

[airborne_artist]

Yup, those are the Ton class. First command for many a Lt., including the PoW.

[mlc]

M1181-HMS Sheraton.

That's my girl.

[exscribbler]

mlc: I went to Simrishamn (Sweden) on an SCC familiarisation trip in her in 1961 - long before you were born - my mate was so seasick he joined the Army... :E

I think she was then one of VERNON's tenders - she had a bl**dy great V on the funnel, anyway.

[nunquamparatus]

Easy fellas, how did we get from flat-tops to fish boats? Talk about cheese and chalk. Certainly don't recall chair racing and running up a bar bill the size of Botswana's national debt in the mighty MIDDLETON. Do, however remember having an absolute laugh and giggle in one of the best jobs in the RN, working with some great blokes who were certifiable.

Whereas minehunting at 4 knots........................the weekends just FLEW by.:E:E:E:E:E:E:E

[cyclic gal]

Back to Warship then. Seems to me it was the story of two lovestruck teenagers having extreme difficulty keeping their hands off each other due to the nasty no touching rule, nod nod wink wink, I wouldn't do such things cos I'm a good girl.

Nice she chose to publicly humiliate her boyfriend waiting dutifully at home.

At least we had Rod Stewart

[exscribbler]

More to the point - has he had you? :ok:

[Widger]

guys guys, whilst this is all great ditting on about times as a muppet (worst time ever by the way) bugga off to Rum Ration!
:=:=:=:=

[exscribbler]

Yes, sir; thank you, sir.

You are of course correct; point taken, actioned and paradigms shifted. :eek:

[cliffclop]

As far as I know, McCrea is a trainer at Cranwell on Tucanos, Oxborrow has retired and has a b & b in Ceredigion, Smart went on to be a nav and still is, unless he has retired too, and god knows what happenned to the others. would be nice to find out though. I have the series on DVD if anyone is interested.

[Really annoyed]

Oh dear somebody has been at the brandy cupboard this evening.You pick on a three year old random thread about boats to post about fighter pilot. Obviously not the good brandy either.

[david parry]

An aside this is for the Scribes and 4 Mast;) Re Tom Wilkinson the Joss YouTube - SAILOR TV SERIES 8 YEARS LATER HMS ARK ROYAL SCRAPPED