Just told the missus

[kiwi_igelkott]

Ok, so this may not necessarily belong in this topic, but thought I would share a laugh with you...

Tonight I finally laid out my plans to the missus about my plans to go for the modular route towards my CPL and ATPL.

Had it all worked out, well presented if I may say so and sounded pretty convincing about it being good in the long run despite initial outlay, time, and study.

I sounded pretty convincing then waited for her to say "like hell" or something to that effect.

Instead she yawns, leans back and casually says "oh, sounds boring to me" "It's just like driving a bus in the air" So I took that as a go for it...

A load off my shoulders anyway, was stressing about her reaction, now I can concentrate and get on with it.

[Spitoon]

Good luck with it. And with support like that you can't go wrong......much better than the 'like hell' that I would get!

[Shunter]

I do wonder why people are scared of sharing their hopes and dreams with their partners. Surely if they care for and respect you, and your quest to improve yourself and realise your ambitions doesn't involve living in a cardboard box for a years to fund it, they would support you.

If I were to turn round to the Mrs and say, "I've given it a lot of thought, and this is REALLY what I want to do", I'd expect her to be supportive. If not I'd have serious questions about the relationship and her motives.

An unsupportive partner is probably the wrong partner in the long run. Anyway, pleased to hear you got a good response.

[acuba 290]

i hope all of us, who just started do ATPL GS and over 30 y.o. will just say one day "why I have't done it earlie?" ;)

[Philpaz]

I can imagine that they might be slightly concerned at you giving up a career you've worked at your whole life, one which probably pays the mortgage and puts food on the table amongst many other things. My partner is supportive but understandably worried, as am I. I think thats where the fear of "sharing the dream" comes from.

[AlphaMale]

I'm sure everybody has been in this position :(

When I told the better half I was looking to blow £40k+ on chasing my dream as an Airline Pilot there was a smile and a condescending comment. But after 2 or 3 years of saving and researching I think she understands that I WILL be chasing my dream at all costs.

I've told her if I get to do some bush flying in Africa/Alaska I'll be off, if I get a job as a FI/CFI I'll be off and one day when I'm sitting in the RHS of a TP/Jet I know it would have been worth the commitment and sacrifices.

It's a lot easier now that she understands how strong I feel about it, parents is a different matter all together. After seeing my OAT PPL CBT pack at the side of my PC in my apartment it soon raised a few eyebrows but I quickly said "It's to help me pass my PPL that I've been saving up for ... maybe I'll fly you both to Jersey for lunch" with a smile on my face.

Only after gaining my PPL and passing all 14 ATPL exams will I start letting people know my plans :oh:

Good luck buddy!

[Wilton Shagpile]

You realise of course that you're now in debt....big time. :) No plasma screen telly or other boy toys for you now....or ever again! Thats an awful lot of tokens you've had to cash in :{

Good luck with it - your missus sounds supportive..good for her.

[captain_rossco]

You just wait until "those shoes" she was after turn into a flying lesson! Then she'll feel it!


Best of Luck, with the Mrs informed and consenting, she'll never be able to complain again!


Regards

CR

[lazy george]

After i told the missus about starting my training and hopefully land a jet job one day she was fine with it all. It was only on a holiday to turkey when she stood at the bottom of the steps to a 757 and realised what i was undertaking then blurted out " there's no :mad: way anyones gonna let you drive one of them" :*

Then there was constant snide comments about air hostesses. :ugh:

[XX621]

Interesting thread. I echo Shunter's comments, I am mystified why people make out their partner is like some divine leader from whom they must get approval for pursuing their chosen career.

Unless you're gambling with your dependant's financial security (which is a very different situation), in my books you inform your partner and get on with it. Sorry if that's no very "PC". Perhaps I would fail a CRM course if the marriage was a flight deck!!

[isi3000]

Does feel like the first person you tell is the divine leader you need approval from :uhoh:. Was quite apprehensive about telling the parents and braced myself for snide/sceptical comments from them and peers...

[AlphaMale]

When your other half wants kids and a holiday and you want a fATPL and a airline job it's not a case of having the approval from them.

Looking at the ages of most people undertaking their commercial training and spending upwards of £40k on training are in their late 20's early 30's. Most girls I have spoken to have said they'd like to settle down by 30 and have kids in their early 30's :ugh: ... I've told my other half not to expect a marriage by the time she's 30. I have my own place and doing my best to save every penny toward training, she blows her money on shopping and doesn't have her own place.

I wouldn't want to give my partner false hopes of settling down any time soon and that is the only reason I've told her. And as I said before if I need to travel to the other side of the world to take the next step up the ladder then I will be off (with or without her) ... Might sound a little harsh but that's life.

If she decided she wanted to leave me now while she's 25 then that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.

[jb2_86_uk]

I am 22 and about to start an integrated course. With me not having 60k burning a hole in my pocket, I have come to the realistic conclusion that, even in the best possible outcome (jet job straight after training) I am not going to have a penny to spend on anything but essentials (roof & food) until im about 30.

But as they say, Life begins at 30 and hopefully by the time I pay my last loan repayment, I can be on some serious £££s and start thinking about all the big-boy-toys Ive ever dreamt of.

Ive had my fair share of girlfriends, some serious, some not so serious. But right now I am single and am happy for it to stay that way while I do my training. I know for me to even think about the "best possible outcome" - I need to ace the ATPL exams and the last thing I need is a girlfriend ringing me up every night and moaning Im not making time for her :uhoh:

These are just the sacrifices we must make accomplishing our dream job of an office at FL350. Thats just my take on it anyway :ok:

JB

[mongeyspangle]

Hi guys, just thought I would add my experience of this topic:

In 2001 (age 30 PPL holder) I explained to my wife my 2-year plan to become an Airline pilot.As expected, she agreed and we sold our house to finance the modular training, however with Sept 11th and with numerous other un-planned and unforseen circumstances the 2-year plan became a 5-year plan!!
My wife to her credit was always very supportive and I am currently an F/O flying a Boeing and am loving it, wish I did it years ago, but it's never to late:)

[shaun ryder]

Heres one for all of you with such supportive wives and girlfriends. Put the shoe on the other foot now. You have recently re-mortgaged the family home that you both pay the mortgage on, so that you can follow your dream. Now the wife fancies a bit and decides to follow in your footsteps. How supportive would you be in helping her achieve her new found dream? Realising the uncertainty of possibly neither of you getting a job that pays after your training. Would you sell the house, put the family in rented accomodation and give her that helping hand? Jeopardize the roof over your childs/ childrens head? So that she could go off and be a pilot? I wonder if you would be so supportive? Would you consider foregoing your pursuit of an airline job so that she could pursue her 'dream'? Hell, you could stay at home and watch the kids whilst she galavanted off and did her training! Its just a thought.

Sometimes when I read some posts in these types of threads, I just cannot help but think of the word selfish!

[Arfur Feck-Sake]

I can think of a few who chased the dream with 100% backing from a wife/girlfriend and as soon as the job came along with it's gold bars, salary and nightstops, ran off with a fresher model.

Sad but true.

[mongeyspangle]

Can only speak for myself (of course) but during the discussions with my wife about the funding/time scale of training and subsequent employment we concluded it would be mutually beneficial in the long-term (financially and lifestyle).
Seven years on, we are in a similar financial position overall now, to how we were at the start,
(no debts left to pay, new house) but with greater future earning potential as a couple and far better lifestyle.

Wife likes the uniform too.......bonus:ok::E

[Fastair345]

Just thinking about doing the same thing but the reaction I get will be Banned on pprune !:ugh:

What did you say??

[cirruscrystal]

When you need to spend an extra 10K, to just finish a few more hours of the IR or something similar, i wonder whether you will get the same reaction having already blown the nest egg? I still live with it now and i have a job as a pilot!! When it does jeopardise the family's financial security, and it will unless you are very wealthy, be prepared:bored:

[lazy george]

Drive the missus round a nice big new housing estate and point out the big houses with an audi and a lexus on the drive and tell her in 5 years that will be us.:confused:

Its a fact that people who aren't in the kno think pilots all earn 100K and live a lavish lifestyle.

How little they know.......

How you explain it to them in 5years that you've not a pot to piss in and flying a wobbly turbo prop earning less than a brickie is your doing

Myself i obviously dont condole that kind of behavior:O

[Finals19]

Its a fact that people who aren't in the kno think pilots all earn 100K and live a lavish lifestyle.

How little they know.......


Amen to that. Very few people have the faintest idea about how involved and how much effort is required to get to airline pilot level. Very often, one of the ONLY people who will feel your pain, sweat and frustration, is your significant other. They are worth their weight in gold.

As for this 100K sh*te...I wish...you're only in this industry if you are passionate about it as you could earn more elsewhere for sure.

And yes, its a crying shame that there are some naughty boys out there who run off with a "fresher model" once flying the line. IMHO they are in the minority though - this Leonardo Di Caprio pilot image is just another myth perpetuated by the media and people who don't know better.

[fabiensf]

was wondering if pilots in training take their significant others with them while traveling to train?

My partner intends to come with me when I head overseas for training. However haven't seen too many threads of similar situations.

[Leezyjet]

fabiensf,

My G/f came with me when I went to do my PPL and stayed for the first 2 weeks. She amused herself during the day by going to the beach and the shops and popping to the flying club to have lunch with me at lunch time, then we would spend the evening together.

As long as she understands you are there to train, and she WILL come 2nd to that, then there should be no problems. If she has it in her mind that once you get there, you will forget about the flying and hang out with her and just have a holiday with a bit of flying here and there, then you need to set her straight before you go.

:)

[merlinn]

Interesting topic, my wife is 100% supportive to wards my training (so far) I guess the fact that my biz is paying for half of it helps! However, I would never do anything to jeopardizes my families financial stability to pursue personal goals. I think family support is crucial when taking on large challenges both mentally and financially.

I'm 29 and wish I did it younger while still living at home and just worked to pay for schooling!

[no sponsor]

I did not take my partner anywhere near an aircraft when I was training, or hour building. It was partly due to the fact that I didn't feel completely safe, and besides, she would have found it boring - particularly the hour building which I did abroad.

Pilots pay is piss poor. I still get some nut-jock asking how many days I stay in Spain before flying home - when I tell them it is about 30 mins, they are shocked. It is just like a bus driver, except the view is better, there are more buttons to press, it requires more skill, and it is a damn sight more dangerous.

I find it incredibly difficult to survive with a decent standard of living, as a result I have a separate income now, based on my previous career. In real terms, pilot salaries are falling each year. The average jet f/o salary is about what it was 10 years ago - so in real terms it is much lower. The average Capt salary is also about the same as 10 years ago, except now the extra benefits are minimal, and in my airline there is no increment. Pilots are their own worst enemy, they look after themselves at the expense of their colleagues. It'll be no different when the current crop of 1-4 year f/o want their command, as they accept lower pay and conditions to get that coveted position.

Read the Aer lingus thread in airports & airlines to see how the management of airlines think.

[The_Pharoah]

Becoming a pilot has always been a dream for me but I actually gave it up and concentrated on my real job (accounting) which is as exciting as cat sh#t but it does pay me $125k+ a year (+ bonus). I guess it comes down to enjoyment which for me is about -50%.

Its my mrs that actually said (after the airshow we just had in Bris) "honey, this has always been your dream and I support you, why dont you just go for it".

thats the best support anyone can get eh? :) a bit of financial support would certainly help tho ;)

[heli_port]

get rid of the missus kiwi :eek:

only reason why i am with my missus is because she is blonde-blue eyed & good in http://img2.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/adult/hump.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net)

[Shunter]

If you're going to take them with you, make sure you've sorted out LOTS of stuff for them to do. The vast majority of women don't like playing second fiddle to anything, so if she's the type who's going to start giving you grief after a couple of days I'd think very carefully about the negative impact her presence will have on your training.

Fortunately mine as about as laid back as they come. We spent most of my post-PPL hours doing long weekends in interesting parts of the country, shoe-horning the Cardinal in and out of 400m farm strips etc... She's sat in the back during many a training session aswell, although wasn't so keen on the partial panel recovery from unusual attitudes.

As with everything, some are great, some are a pain in the ass, and most are somewhere in between. Give some thought to the planning and I don't see why it couldn't work out just fine.

[fabiensf]

well the plan is for us to find a flat to rent somewhere close to wherever I'll be doing my training, and she'll find a full time job in the vicinity.

She knows it's a big commitment & that money will be tight but is supporting me nonetheless. We were planning to leave Malta regardless of whether I started comercial training so hopeful will be a troublefree transition.

[Whirlygig]

If you're going to take them with you, make sure you've sorted out LOTS of stuff for them to do.

Lots of crayons and a colouring book should do it! :ok: You ARE talking about children aren't you?

Cheers

Whirls

[Shunter]

Oh, give over. I was, of course, referring to matching your potential living location with her interests (for example: shopping, horse-riding, gym, salon etc., whatever she's into). Stuff she can happily engage in without you needing to be there every second of the day. If she's working, great!

The only reason I say that is because a friend did his PPL in Florida and was of course pretty busy all day, every day. He and his Mrs thought they could combine it with a few weeks holiday but within 3 days she was bored out of her mind, he quickly felt her frustration and it had a decidedly negative influence on his flying progress (mind not on the job, feeling obligated to finish as early as possible etc). They ended up changing their accomodation from being near the airport to being near the town/beach. She ended up doing a 5 day diving course and went airboating in the Everglades.

[blindworm2003]

Thank God i have a very suppotive wife. I am 32 years old and starting my flight training in January 2009. It has been a good 16 yrs waiting for this day to come. Saving the little I could, and spending most of my weekends at airports just watching aircrafts landing and taking off. To me, that was spending my weekends doing what I loved. To those thinking of following your dreams i say to you, "Let nothing hold you back". I would rather live a poor life doing something I love, than be a miserable wealthy bastard. All jobs have a begining and an end, and all jobs have a low and a high. Follow the money and see if it makes you happy, follow your heart and passion and seee what life you lead. I am glad to be finally doing what i could only dream of and i know there a lot more people out there scared to follow their dreams. To then I say, "you never know until you do it, get balls and do what you were destined to do" :D

[heli_port]

Lots of crayons and a colouring book should do it! http://static.pprune.org/images/smilies/thumbs.gif You ARE talking about children aren't you?

Cheers

WhirlsWhirls were you one of those women who burn her bra? http://img2.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/adult/boobies.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-unhappy-smileys.php)