Help !

[maxdrypower]

People , this is my 7millionth post on proon .I have been watching it for nearly five minutes and thinks its ace and dead good.
My background I am a 49 year old transexual lesbian herbivore . I left school with 18 O'levels and 12 A levels .I was really interested in becoming a pilot so i did a degree in Paleontology . From there I got employment as a Park bench in my local arboretum. This further enhanced my interest in flying and I then got a job in a butchers to pursue my dream .
In a bid to get further toward my goal I took a job in a factory glueing shower heads together . This aroused my aviating loins so much that I bought a boat . I think that going on the water will get me closer to the sky .
I am now 49 have 3 wives and fourteen Kids . I have saved up nearly 56 quid .
What I wanna know is can do a integrated cpl/ppl/nasa/astronaut rating with that amount and can it be done in six weeks at OBA ? I eventually want to work for a great company like RYR . I have seen the sticky above saying read before you pose a question , but Im not sure that applies to me as I doubt there is anything in there of use , apparently its all about , age ,training, modular/integrated, diffreent schools , forces etc etc blah blah blah
I have seen that various people have asked all these questions in the last week but Im sure If I ask them again the answers will have changed more to suit my needs .
Please can anybody retype the answers they gave last week to this very same question as I really cant be chuffed to take time out to do it myself , after all when I do my selection for BA next month I will be spoon fed and there will be no reason for me to think for myself .
So please offer me a job Im a nice guy really

:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:
Sorry mods delete if you will just really bored


No MDP we can't delete otherwise you'll start numerous new threads demanding to know where your thread went Rob

[Whirlygig]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y265/dsg2003mustanggt/91174851.jpg

Of course Maxdry!!!!


Cheers

Whirls

[tom_ace]

brilliant!

[bluepeely]

HA HA bravo..... sounds like Jack Daniels or Mr artois has made an appearence:ok:

Cant beat a drunken rant:D

[maxdrypower]

Apparently the 777 came down as the crew didnt see the notam stating that due to an anomaly in the Wx 5 minutes either side of their approach time there would be no lift available in the air whatsoever. Rookie error

[Whirlygig]

I think you'll find it was down to the Lift Pixies explained here very well from an old thread.

An aeroplane can only fly due to the presence of Lift Pixies. Lift Pixies eat Bernoullies and this gives them the strength to keep the areoplane in the air. The Bernoullies are cut into manageable chunks by the knife like shape of the wing - at high alpha the wing is too blunt and the Bernoullies get too big for the Lift Pixies to eat. This causes the Bernoullies to pile up on the wings and weigh the aeroplane down. Furthermore, at slow speed, the Bernoullies don't get cut up so well either, so you have to get more Lift Pixies to eat them. This may be achieved by lowering the flaps, which is where the Lift Pixies live. If you put the flaps down they will come out and help eat the Bernoullies.

As yet, attempts to colonise Lift Pixies on helicopters have failed due to the lack of suitable habitats (flaps). Therefore, helicopter flight may only be explained by the "Wind Submission by Battery" theorum, which is dicussed elsewhere.



http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a228/Whirls/Liftpixiesflaps.jpg

Cheers

Whirls

[ford cortina]

very good:D:D:D:ok:

[maxdrypower]

of course how remiss of me

[tom_ace]

back to the question, can anyone tell the guy whether to go integrated or modular?!?!

[maxdrypower]

yeh cum on which is best ??? Ive heard if you go integrated BA will give you a long haul job and have a modular student wipe your arse for you

[PyroTek]

start small, maxdrypower, get a job at McDonalds and start learning at your local gliders club!
experiment with explosives too, and tell your gliding instructor!

You could get your astronaut rating in 5 weeks that way!

[ford cortina]

If you get a copy of MS Flight sim 2002, work hard at it, start small say A320 work up to bigger stuff like A380 you will have the airlines beating a path to your door. Remember all your hours on flight sim count as P1 time:E

[32SQDN]

I think you are far too qualified for any position in the aviation industry.

Try getting a job working as a journalist for a local newspaper!! :)

[Adios]

MDP,

Yur speiling is way two good fer yoo to bee a reel wantabe! I thank yer a whineup merchant or a trole!

[Bearing 123]

It all makes sense now! I'm convinced the Lift Pixies are only living in the flaps of one wing of the aircraft I fly! It would explain an awful lot!

Also Maxpower, Apply for any job you see advertised and instead of a CV send a pic of you in a ball gown / frock!!!!! You'll even bypass the TR and go straight in as Captain with Virgin on the B744:ok:

[chris-squire]

Can someone just clear something up for me....I've heard a rumour that all airlines have opened up full sponsorship again and the only requirement is to really want it!

Drunken rants are hilarious! :)

Hang on, this thread has been going for at least 20 mins and harldy a mention of Int vs Mod.....

Right Im training Mod because it's easier to spell, so there! :)

[the dean]

what a gas...:}

ok ...now back to serious questions...like who killed cock robin..??

well it is an aviation question...

[Bearing 123]

That could be referring to a Captain I flew with once, but it would have to be rephrased as "Who killed THAT cock Robin":}

[maxdrypower]

Now this is silly I start a sensible thread and you lot take the pixx ! Typical. For your information I was not drunk when I wrote this so there.
Rob I would never start a thread asking where my previous thread went , how rude !
It was a genuine question jeeeeeez

[Bearing 123]

Sounds to me like he's got a point! How Rude indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:hmm:

[TRY2FLY]

Very wise wanting to do an astronaut TR. Phone up Richard Branson , he's looking for drivers for his new Virgin Galactic start up:}

[maxdrypower]

I dont want to do the Virgin Galactic TR as they make you pay for it and your uniform and your id badge .I think Ill wait for Ba to do it then i will be free and I will be paid thousands of pounds.


Sorry guys following todays "Is there Hope" Thread I cudnt resist putting this back to the top

[ford cortina]

Hope!!!!! well my ex wife killed my cock, robin

[clunk1001]

I’m surprised nobody’s following this thread up with the usual...

No, don’t do it!! you will pay 2 gazillion pounds for training, but being qualified isnt enough, no, then you need to hand over your wife and kids to the Airline in exchange for a TR, before spending the rest of your life on a salary £1 per month! If you're lucky. A mate of mine got a job and after finishing line training he wasn’t even given a plane, the airline expected him to carry all the passengers on his back and flap his arms madly, he was eventually fired because he couldn’t make the aeroplane noises properly! But that’s all irrelevant because you’ll never a get a job, just like I didn’t!

..so I’ll add it

:ugh:

Sorry to continue this thread, but I felt this needed said.

[chris-squire]

Clunk - Brilliant, funniest post I've read all week! :)