FSTA humour...

[harrogate]

I was sniffing around for FSTA info and found this amusing page...

http://www.freewebs.com/ministryofdements/index.htm

[Roland Pulfrew]

Utterly, utterly, brilliant. :D:D

The sad thing is that it is too close to the truth to be comfortable. That must have been written by an insider!!

[brit bus driver]

Oh $hit.....it was a joke......really?

Must work out how to recall emails.....

:uhoh:

Boss, if you're reading this, it was a joke - apparently (I know, I know, it seemed plausible to me too. What can I tell you!)

[Seldomfitforpurpose]

Cue Beag's :E

[green granite]

Love the bit about crop spraying with the Typhoon at weekends :E

[harrogate]

Love the 'PAYG' gag and the bit about bombing France.

[Kengineer-130]

Brilliant :D.... Truth is often stranger than fiction :}

[Navy_Adversary]

This needs forwarding to Bremner, Bird and Fortune, it would make good viewing on a sunday night.

[harrogate]

Wouldn't be surprised if it's by them anyway.

Reads like one of their sketches. But it's funnier.

If you've not read it yet, may I suggest it for your lunch time read, because it's quite long.

(Unless of course you're a MoD civvie, in which case just read it now and then get off home early - it's Friday for Christ's sake).

[The Helpful Stacker]

Apparently this (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a1/Refueling%2C_1923.jpg) is the 'Plan B' for if (when) the FSTA PFI goes belly up.

[Jimlad1]

"(Unless of course you're a MoD civvie, in which case just read it now and then get off home early - it's Friday for Christ's sake)."

Shurely some mistake - surely that should read "Forces type" in place of MOD civvie...:E

[sikeano]

Brill :D

I Enjoyed it

[The Helpful Stacker]

Shurely some mistake - surely that should read "Forces type" in place of MOD civvie...

Aye, civvies get to leave early everyday. Its just forces people who occasionally get a Friday afternoon early stack.;)

[Jimlad1]

"Aye, civvies get to leave early everyday. Its just forces people who occasionally get a Friday afternoon early stack"

Probably cos we're not paid to stay after 5pm:E

[goudie]

It's certainly funnier than the Wikipedia version...................which is open to editing!!

[The Helpful Stacker]

Probably cos we're not paid to stay after 5pm

5pm for many of the CS I've worked with in the past would be well past usual knocking off time.

[Jimlad1]

You guys are paid 24/7, CS are paid to work 36hrs per week (7hrs 12 per day). I've never understood why the forces expect CS to work for free, when they would scream bloody murder if it were suggested that they should only be paid for a 37hr week...

[mustflywillfly]

You guys are paid 24/7,

Apparently we are. You're right.

£41073 (Lt RN 7 years seniority)

£41073 / 365 = £112.5 per day

£112.5 / 24 = £4.69 an hour

£5.52 = minimum wage (over age 22 as of 01 Oct 07)

Hmmm so going on your basis I am not earning the minimum wage then?
Anyway you mivvies do work very hard. Bless. Hang on let me look round the office. Oh, odd, all the mivvies have Foxtrotted Oscar. Good job there are 6 other uniformed personnel to keep juggling all the other tasks that you over worked underpaid mivvies refuse to do. :ugh:

[Safety_Helmut]

The old ones are the best:

How many civil servants work at xxxxxxxx (insert your establishment of choice)





You all know the answer ! :E

S_H

[BEagle]

The most perceptive assessment of the Fictional Strategic Tanker Aircraft I've ever seen!

Remember the history of all this?

The Future Large Aircraft (FLA) was originally supposed to replace all the RAF’s large a/c. That proved unfeasible, so the tanker/transport requirement became Future Strategic Tanker Aircraft (FSTA) and another fight arose between A400M and C130J as the Future Transport Aircraft (FTA). FSTA then became a Private Finance Initiative (PFI) project; the preferred platform became the A330 Multi-Role Tanker Transport (MRTT) rather than the B767 offered by the rival TTSC. Meanwhile, A400M which had been the FLA was given the go-ahead to be the FTA; however, to fill the gap, a Short Term Strategic Airlifter, STSA, was needed and that became a fight between the An124 and the C-17. The RAF decided upon leased C-17s as STSA to fill the gap before FTA became reality; however, the C-17s will now be bought and the STSA will become another FTA, but not the sole FTA as that will still be the A400M. Which, of course had once been FLA and rejected as FSTA. Nevertheless, the Common Standard Aircraft (CSA) A400M does have a requirement to have an AAR role, but not as a strategic tanker as that will be the job of the FSTA, presumably the A330 MRTT – which also has immense AT capability as well as its AAR capability but is seemingly not considered to be a FTA even though it would be.... Although there is, of course, the A310 MRTT in service with other countries but not offered by any of the FSTA bidders even though it had been studied under an earlier project by MoD Department of Future Systems (DFS) as it then was when a Multi Role Tanker Transport rather than a Future Strategic Tanker Aircraft was being considered.

So:

C-17 which was the STSA but wasn't an FSTA will be an FTA.
A400M which was FLA, then rejected as FSTA will become the 'official' FTA.
A330 MRTT will probably be the FSTA under PFI but not a FTA .


But WTF is currently going on with FSTA I have no idea.

Except that the price seems to keep going up...

[OmegaV6]

I've got a headache now ............


:)

[South Bound]

Have a little bit of knowledge of FSTA and must say I am laughing my pants off here (fortunately no one can see). Does make me wonder what the team at Scabby Wood is doing - either they are twiddling their thumbs doing nowt because it is now just contract faffing, or extremely busy catching up with what should have been done some time ago to meet original timescales...

Latte anyone?

[harrogate]

There was briefly a load more very, very good government related spoof stuff on this website yesterday, but I see it's all gone now and only the FSTA article remains.

Hmmm...

Shame I didn't get chance to cut and paste any of it.