BoB After Dinner Joke

[Whywhywhat]

I just overheard my Boss plotting with Mr Vice for this evenings BoB Dining in... Nothing too evil but I'm gonna be stuched up for a joke.

Anyone got a good BoB/German/navy joke that's not too long that I could use?

[forget]

Sorry, not a joke, but you may want to slip this in. Does it for me.:ok:

Remember him? He was no Galahad, no knight sans peur et sans reproche. Sans Peur? Fear was the second enemy to beat. He was a common, unconsidered man, who for a moment of eternity held the whole future of mankind in his two sweating palms. And did not let go. Remember him, not as he is portrayed, but as he was. To him you owe most of what you have and love today.

Air Chief Marshall Sir Christopher Foxley-Norris 1990

[TMJ]

A number of historties of the Battle I have read recount that as soon as Winnie's, "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few," quote became known, it became a standing joke in Fighter Command - "Crikey chaps, the PM's seen our Mess bills!"

[MReyn24050]

Its an old one but....
During the tense days at the height of the Battle of Britain, some desk navigator at the War Office decided that it was imperative to boost the morale of the pilots. It was decided that the best way to do this was for the pilots to meet some of the young ladies among the British Aristocracy in a social setting. To ensure that some of the young hellions among the pilots didn't get carried away, a Wing Commander would be present to protect the finer sensibilities of the debutantes from any excesses of enthusiasm.
The first such event duly came about, and among the participants selected was Paddy, a young Irish pilot. A bit shy at first, he quickly thawed with a few belts of Irish whisky and an admiring circle of young ladies, and before long he was regaling them with the details of his latest sortie against the Luftwaffe. The Wing Commander casually strolled over and pricked up his ears just as Paddy said, "And there I was, with barely enough fuel to make it back to the airfield, when I suddenly spotted these three Fokkers diving down at me out of the sun..."
The Wing Commander swooped in at once. This was exactly the sort of thing that could be misunderstood by the pampered and protected young debutantes, and the last thing he wanted was a complaint to Air Vice-Marshal Dowding about foul-mouthed pilots. "Excuse me a moment please, Paddy." he interrupted, and turned the audience. "Let me explain, ladies that the Fokker is among the Luftwaffe's finest aircraft, and both their fighters and bombers have given us a great deal of trouble in combat. Thank you Paddy, you can carry on with your story now."
Paddy shook his head soberly. "Yes Wing Commander, sure and you can say the Fokker is a very fine fighting machine, and no one will deny it. However, these three Fokkers I'm talking about were all Messerschmidts..."

[Union Jack]

Probably too late for tonight but, if it's not, delete "War Office" and insert "Air Ministry" and delete "Fokker" and insert "Focke" as in Focke Wolf 190.

Jack

PS Astonishing how this story has evolved over the years!

PPS A propos ACM Sir Christopher Foxley-Norris I seem to recall that our American friends were always fascinated by the blatant way in which ACM Sir Christopher Foxley always travelled with Lady Norris ....

[Beagle-eye]

At a NATO function a French Admiral was complaining to anybody that would listen “Why do we always have to always speak English at these things. Why can’t we speak French ?”.

An attending senior British Officer replied “Because, dear boy, the British, the Americans, the Canadians and the Australians all fixed so that YOU didn’t have to speak German” :ok:

[Union Jack]

Wader - I'm :confused::confused::confused:! Please reread my last message for its intended meaning ....:)

Jack

PS Which story did WWW tell, and how was it received?

[Wader2]

Union Jack, ah, the subtlety of the hyphen escaped me. :)

[XR219]

delete "Fokker" and insert "Focke" as in Focke Wolf 190.
Fw 190s? In the Battle of Britain? Still sounds somewhat apocryphal :hmm:

[Whywhywhat]

Well, I was snookered by some A-Level stitching by Mr Vice who stood up and announced (as is the tradition these days) that shed keep it short with just 2 jokes one from her and one from me.... She then stole the joke I was going to use leaving me not only stitched for a joke but with nothing prepared!... So I went with the aircrew mate, groundcrew mate and a goldfish in a waiting room thing... bit of a visual joke so won't post it here!

[AQAfive]

I think the confusion over Fokkers is due to the origin of the joke belonging to WW1, then it makes sense. No matter its all in the telling.:ok:

[ORAC]

West Drayton Officers Mess, BoB Reception. First GAF exchange officer had been posted in shortly before. WO Mess manager is in foyer when said officer enters.

"Good evening sir", he says, beaming warmly, "losers on the right".......

[Mystic Greg]

I am sure it is worth recording for posterity that WWW told his 'visual' joke impeccably, and it was not at all obvious that it was an 'emergency choice'.