View Full Version : Michael Chertoff's gut - Director, Homeland Security (US)


vapilot2004
12th Jul 2007, 08:39
According to transcripts of Sec Chertoff's remarks to the Chicago Tribune:

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff's ''gut feeling'' about an increased terrorist risk this summer did not send law enforcement officials scrambling for increased security, although authorities said Wednesday his remark emphasized the need for vigilance.

Chertoff made the comment Tuesday to the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune, telling the newspaper he based his assessment on earlier patterns of terrorists in Europe and intelligence he would not disclose.

''Summertime seems to be appealing to them,'' Chertoff said. ''We worry that they are rebuilding their activities.''.......


Meanwhile, the White House is quoted as saying:
The White House supported Chertoff for stressing the importance of being vigilant. ''I'm glad we've got a Homeland Security secretary that worries about it all the time,'' White House spokesman Tony Snow said Wednesday.


According to the AP wire services:

Al-Qaida has rebuilt, U.S. intel warns

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A new threat assessment from U.S. counterterrorism analysts says that al-Qaida has used its safe haven along the Afghan-Pakistan border to restore its operating capabilities to a level unseen since the months before Sept. 11, 2001.

A counterterrorism official familiar with a five-page summary of the document - titled "Al-Qaida better positioned to strike the West" - called it a stark appraisal. The analysis will be part of a broader meeting at the White House on Thursday about an upcoming National Intelligence Estimate.
The official and others spoke to The Associated Press on condition they not be identified because the report remains classified.

The findings suggests that the network that launched the most devastating terror attack on U.S. soil has been able to regroup despite nearly six years of bombings, war and other tactics aimed at dismantling it.................


These are the 'headlines' over at Fox News:

Former First Lady Lady Bird Johnson, Wife of LBJ and Champion of Conservation, Dies at 94
Flynt Claims Credit for Senator's 'Madam' Woes
UPDATE '08: Politics, Direct From the Sources
Venezuelan Opposition TV Station Signs on to Cable
Bin Laden's Son Marries British Divorcee
NCAA to Oklahoma Football: Forfeit All 2005 Wins
Frozen Baby Mammoth Discovered in Siberia
Man With Tuberculosis Breaks Window, Flees Hospital
'Hot4Hillary' Video Latest Campaign '08 Send-Up
EXCLUSIVE: U.N. Agency Shuts Down Its Financial System After FOX News Asks About Outside Users
South Dakota Carries Out First Execution in 60 Years
Sept. 11 Firefighter Families Condemn Giuliani in Ad
Victim Robber Involved in Pizza Bomb Plot
Reporter in Bikini Video at Missing Mom Home 'Devastated'
Woman Almost Dies After Getting Bikini Wax
Train Accident in Greece Injures at Least 45

CNN is not much better with.....

Lady Bird Johnson dies at 94
S.D. has first execution in 60 years
Israeli soldier killed in Gaza operation
Lebanon starts final bid to oust militants 4 min
Murder called motive in pizza bomb plot
Iraqi civilians join raid on al Qaeda base
CNNMoney: Nintendo issues Wii warning
Bogus firm faked nuke license, report says
Pipeline attack closes Hershey's and Honda
WGCL: Feds declare Wilson tape child porn
Butler service, 5-course meals -- on Amtrak?
SI: Sexy photos kick off Beckhams' invasion
Ticker: Flynt motivated to expose hypocrisy
Fat rant exposes a few myths

And now this:

WASHINGTON - Michael Chertoff, a janitor at the Department of Homeland Security, said today that he has a "gas feeling" of a heightened threat of an attack by Al Qaeda against the US.

Chertoff said he had pickled vegetables during dinner a few nights ago, and thought they may have been another tainted Chinese product.

"I got a bloated feeling in my gut after eating, so I drank some Pepto and Kaopectate, but it didn't help," Chertoff said, after farting up a cloud in Chicago.

Mr. Chertoff went to his physician the following day and received a colonoscopy and a high-colonic enema. The colonoscopy was unremarkable, but the enema showed that Mr. Chertoff has a swollen brain stem.
He then assumed that the "gas feeling" was nothing more than a sign that the US is in danger of another attack.

When asked why he depends on his "gas" rather than the trillions of taxpayer dollars spent on US security, and the dozens of new agencies created to protect the nation after 9/11, he had no comment.

Later, Chertoff blamed US citizens for being "complacent," and he also said that new and ambiguous security measures must be taken to protect the government from the people.

He has raised the Terrorist Threat Level to 'RETARD'.


Is this a great country? (or what?)



zerozero
12th Jul 2007, 14:57
ROFLMAO!

This entire administration can all go to hell.

I never voted for any of them (twice).

:8

con-pilot
12th Jul 2007, 16:47
NCAA to Oklahoma Football: Forfeit All 2005 Wins




:{:{:{:{:{:{:{:{:{:{


OH GOD WILL LIFE EVER BE THE SAME!







(Er, I forgot, how many games did we win? :uhoh:)

IcePaq
12th Jul 2007, 19:07
So it's better not to inform the american people to be extra vigilant?

Howard Hughes
12th Jul 2007, 23:33
NCAA to Oklahoma Football: Forfeit All 2005 Wins
Thats gotta suck, what year are we in now?;)