spannermonkey
27th Apr 2007, 14:31
What with all of the current issues and problems that seem to dog the MoD (obviously through no fault of their own!!!!), I thought it time to bring a little cheer to those still sat at work on a Friday afternoon with nothing better to do than scan the pages of pprune. (I bunked off early)
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indian, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In the MoD however a whole range of far more advanced strategies are employed to try to improve the situation such as:
1. Change riders
2. Buy a stronger whip
3. Do nothing "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses"
4. Visit other countries to see if or how they ride dead horses
5. Perform a productivity study to see if ligher riders improve the dead horses performance
6. Hire a contractor to feed, ride and groom the dead horse (can be useful as a sadle when it comes to protecting ones backside)
7. Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase speed
8. Provide lots of additional funding and or training to try to increase the dead horses performance
9. Appoint a committee to study the dead horse and assess how dead it actually is
10. Denythere is any such thing as a dead horse while at the same time re-classiying the dead horse as 'living-impaired'
11. Develop a strategic plan for the management of dead horses
12. Rewrite the expected performance requirments for all horses
13. modify existing standards to include dead horses
14. Re-shoe in an attempt to prolong the useful life of your dead horse
15. Dig up other dead horses in an attempt to provide a selection of dead horses from which the riders can choose
16. Declare that as the dead horse does not need to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line
17. As a last resort, declare this particular breed of dead hore is now obsolete, offer all the dead horses for sale to unsuspecting buyer from another country for rediculously small sum, despite all of the investment poured in as indicated above. Then purchase a share in new breed of dead horse at vast cost from friendly and obviously trustworthy horse dealer.
Enjoy!!:E
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indian, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In the MoD however a whole range of far more advanced strategies are employed to try to improve the situation such as:
1. Change riders
2. Buy a stronger whip
3. Do nothing "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses"
4. Visit other countries to see if or how they ride dead horses
5. Perform a productivity study to see if ligher riders improve the dead horses performance
6. Hire a contractor to feed, ride and groom the dead horse (can be useful as a sadle when it comes to protecting ones backside)
7. Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase speed
8. Provide lots of additional funding and or training to try to increase the dead horses performance
9. Appoint a committee to study the dead horse and assess how dead it actually is
10. Denythere is any such thing as a dead horse while at the same time re-classiying the dead horse as 'living-impaired'
11. Develop a strategic plan for the management of dead horses
12. Rewrite the expected performance requirments for all horses
13. modify existing standards to include dead horses
14. Re-shoe in an attempt to prolong the useful life of your dead horse
15. Dig up other dead horses in an attempt to provide a selection of dead horses from which the riders can choose
16. Declare that as the dead horse does not need to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line
17. As a last resort, declare this particular breed of dead hore is now obsolete, offer all the dead horses for sale to unsuspecting buyer from another country for rediculously small sum, despite all of the investment poured in as indicated above. Then purchase a share in new breed of dead horse at vast cost from friendly and obviously trustworthy horse dealer.
Enjoy!!:E