We Need Your Flight Safety Stories

[Air Clueless]

Desperate of Bucks needs Flight Safety stories, opinions, cartoons, letters, photos etc, past and present, for publication in a flight safety mag. Trying to make this mag as interesting as possible, so please either post something in this thread or send me a PM.

[Seldomfitforpurpose]

Bearing in mind the desire of just about all posters on here for COMPLETE anonymity, and please believe me when I tell you the black omega driver IS WATCHIN, it would not surprise me if you came up dry here apart from regurgitations of old and previously published stuff :(




Edited to say just checked your profile......you joined today and this is your first post.....secret base in Bucks........by any chance do you drive a black car????????

[red17]

or you are some kind of journalist looking for a story..... I had a safety scare - ran out of breakfast cereal!

[stillin1]

Air Clueless
Who are you?
What mag?
For whom?
How much do you get paid for it?
How much do you pay me per word published?
Who has editorial rights?
A basic tenent of flight safety = ask Qs first, then commit yourself:E
and god knows I need commiting:ok:

[Chugalug2]

Sorry about all the negativity from the young bucks above, Clueless. Now, when I was upside down with nothing on the clock.......

[r supwoods]

I'm saving mine for my own book ....

[charliegolf]

Seldom,
Surely, if 'Clueless wanted stories from drivers of black cars, they'd be road safety stories. Wouldn't they?
CG

PS I'm wearing a black Omega!

[clicker]

and some would say it suits you sir. Black is your colour.

[Pontius Navigator]

I have it on good authority that there may be a brand new flight safety publication on the cards. It will have a number of readable short stories, flight safety incidents, 'I Learnt' stories etc but I haven't a clue what they are going to call it.


round and round went the ****ing great wheel, in and out went the . . .

[Seldomfitforpurpose]

The only black things you would catch me in are the likes of Halle Berry, J Lo and Beonce :E but as I am old enough to be their dad fat chance :(

[side salad]

Once upon a time I landed without an engine, in a field, away from my Station.





It was a glider, at a civilian club.

£50 please.

[Pontius Navigator]

Stillin

Air Clueless
Who are you?
What mag?
For whom?
How much do you get paid for it?
How much do you pay me per word published?
Who has editorial rights?
A basic tenent of flight safety = ask Qs first, then commit yourself
and god knows I need commiting

How much do you pay me per word published?

I got £50 per page but that was about 8 years go. Name your price.

[Mmmmnice]

Stillin - I think that's a 'tenet' you're struggling for. Spoolckokin will obviously be extra........

[stillin1]

Mmmmnice
I thought one was a beer brand and the other somethink you sleep in when camping (fnaar fnaar)! That will teach me a lesson for not paying attension to spellin on ISSSC. Right, where is the spull-chukker on this thing?:ok:
Pontius Navigator
£50 + sounds nice, I have survived "oopsing" for ages:eek:
Air Clueless
You have gone quiet, where is you my budding agent / mentor when I need one (I think that mentor is an ac type):E ?

[Lafyar Cokov]

Well if no one else is going to come up with one - I may as well start...
I had drunk about 12 pints the night before - finishing at 4am. The weather had a 50-50 chance of being punk the next day so I took my chances. Unfortunately I woke up and it was as blue as it could possibly be. I had to drive from the mess to work as I wasn't in a fit state to walk. I briefed the crew - cleverly disguising by breath with polos before jumping in the aircraft and starting up. The engineers had to bring the 700 out to me cos I'd forgotten to sign it. I then taxied but had to come back because the auth had brought the auth sheets out to the line for me to sign. I got airborne and after being berated by ATC for lifting without take-off clearance, carried on with the low level nav ex. My nav kept telling me about avoids but I figure the best way to learn the local avoids is to find out who actually complains when you fly through them. I saw a bridge and flew under it that was fun but the rest of my crew had stopped talking to me at this point. As it was my girlfriend's birthday I assumed that she'd quite like a flypast - so I told the nav to fly it while I 'phoned her on my mobile - he wasn't bad but couldn't hold a very good 50ft agl. My girlfriend couldn't understand a word of what I was saying so I texted her and then grabbed control back off the nav and tried to find the school where my girlfriend worked. The nav was lost at this point so I took the map from him and headed towards the large town. Why do they always put schools in the middle? I think my girly enjoyed the flying display - everyone at the school mentioned it and some of the kiddies were so emotional that it brought them to tears! I then pulled up for an IF recovery. ATC went all unpleasant on me again - apparantly there's some airspace stuff around there - but hey - that's what ATC are for to; force us into narrow corridors so they can keep us apart! I completed a perfect PAR (God I get bored of "On Glidepath, On Centreline" - change the tune.) and landed.
In retrospect I think I learnt quite alot and there is a flight safety message in there for all of us - If you prepare the text message before you take off you can have more hands-on time at low level.
Hope this all helps.

[Air Clueless]

I think that my colleague's first post was somewhat vague, so I will try to enlighten and elucidate.

The RAF Aviation Safety Group is currently trawling all the old magazines (including Air Cl*!s) for interesting articles from the past (dim and distant or otherwise) for inclusion in our distinguished organ; that may or may not be renamed in the near future. In my case, this is so that I don't have to sweat blood making up tedious articles on safety management, or human factors, or other such hot safety topics.

So really we're after interesting stuff that can fill a void created by the loss of 'I learnt about flying from that' and obviously the unmentionable and thoroughly forgotten about flight safety magazine known as 'Air C1u3s'.

Unbelievably we are in a position to reward the authors of published articles with the RAF equivalent of a Blue Peter badge; you won't get to meet either Valerie Singleton or John Noakes though, and I'm guessing the items won't be of ebay significance.

So continue the good work started by Lafyar, or PM us with your stories.

[Neptunus Rex]

Lafyar Cokov
Priceless, mate!
As studes at Schwyerston (JPs, early '60s) our tame Canadian Exchange QFI taught us how to perform a "Black Flag Dance," which he claimed to have learned from a Native North American. Very useful, when the occasion demands.
Neppy
:cool: