Leaving Speech

[Party Animal]

Okay, so they say never start a conversation with an apology BUT apologies to those who thought this was going to be another verbal attack on the state of the RAF by some bitter and twisted (and tired) aviator who is leaving the sinking ship for pastures new. I'm not quite there yet, but I am posted soon and as is usual in these circumstances, I will be asked to stand up and deliver a leaving speech - no doubt with a beer in my right hand and a whisky in the left.

So the reason for this thread... very many years ago during my very first Dining In night, a rather worn spec aircrew mate found himself in a similar position. He told a great story that I really can't remember but it went along the lines of a bird of prey snatched a mouse from a field but dropped it into a pile of manure as it was trying to fly back to the nest (stick with me). Something like a fox then helped the dazed mouse - I can't remember how and some other fluffy animal that you thought would be friendly to the mouse actually stitched it up. Honestly, I've not been on the wacky baccy. The moral of the story was that individual relationships at work are not always what they seem. There are the guys at work that everyone thinks are great but in reality are knifing everyone in the back and there are those who no-one really cares for but stand by you in times of need.

I now find myself wishing to tell the same story as it fits perfectly for my current tour. Can anyone help me with the original? It was 1984 when I heard it and I've not heard the story since but the moral has remained with me to this day. I could also be significantly wrong with the animals but maybe someone out there knows where I'm coming from?

Cheers,

PA

[timex]

Bird flying S for the Winter falls out of the sky, lands on the ground & cow ****s on it.

After a while gets warm, feels better and starts whistling, along comes a Fox grabs the bird and eats it.

Morals of the story are

1. Someone who ****s on you is not always your Enemy.

2. If you are in the **** keep your mouth shut.

3. Someone dragging you out of the **** may not be your friend.


Hope thats what you are on about

[talk_shy_tall_knight]

Superbly succint and to the point. Well done. :D

[Wader2]

Trouble is they will all know it now :}

[Toddington Ted]

Another line which might help:

"I have often regretted my speech but never my silence"

Certainly true in my case!:oh:

[Party Animal]

Thanks Timex - the story you gave is half way there and I do recall hearing that one a few times. I think it was basically tweaked or added to, to give a subtle difference to the final morals.

TT - thanks for your line and I'll invite all other readers to keep similar ones coming in.

[Wyler]

My favourite.

If I killed a child it would be infanticide.

If I killed a lot of people it would be Genocide.

If I killed my boss it would be countryside.

Goodnight.

:ok: :E

[Bigwings]

The full blown, (and rather long) version can be found here, plus a couple of others that may appeal to you.

http://www.eyeonsoaps.com/modern_mythologies.htm

Bigwings :ok:

[Gainesy]

Wyler:ok:

I will use that WRT to the pub bore this very evening. :)

[johnfairr]

Gainesy, you beat me to it. Perhaps we know the same bore, he must visit quite a few pubs in our part of the world, too.

jf

[I_stood_in_the_door]

All,

As I am about to depart from a Green world to Light Blue, I to have been thinking of my impending leaving speech. I now have a classic start and finish. Now to fill the middle with the usual buggery boll*cks!

Sirs, I thank you!!

ISITD

LFOGOOTFW

:D

[4Greens]

Was at a farewell dinner of an Admiral. He opined that the upper ranks of the Services became a game of snakes and ladders; the problem being that there were a lot more snakes than ladders!

[teeteringhead]

Then there's the one about sports .... airmen play soccer, snicks go ten-pin bowling and occifers play golf....

..... proving that the more senior you get, the smaller the balls!

[hobie]

you might start with ......


"I leave with mixed feelings.........


Joy and Happiness come immediately to mind!!!" ..... :p

[MoateAir]

"A wise man once told me" ..... [pause for dramatic effect] ..... "that leaving speeches shouldn't last longer than you can make love for."

Then sit down. :O

[Bof]

I think I put this one on prune before but I can't remember if and when, and I think it's worth a re-tell! All true - I were there! Dining- in night at Abingdon '73 if my memory serves. Well known raconteur and very likeable
Sqn Ldr Flight Engineer being dined out along with others. More senior officer had just replied on behalf of the leavers. PMC said "I call on Sqn Ldr X to tell us a joke" Said Sqn Ldr stood up and after acknowledging Stn Cdr, PMC, ladies etc then said, " When I told my wife I was being dined out this evening, she said what are you going to say if they ask you to speak? What ever you do, keep it short and keep it clean - so I stuck it under a cold tap!!"
Brought the house down!