Mess Canons

[Ridgerunner]

Hello all,

Our UAS is having a mess canon competition with a visiting Spit pilot who is giving us a talk that night. I assume some of you are veterans of this sport, and I would appreciate any advice and instructions on how to build a mess canon without blowing my face off.

Much appreciated,

RR

[On_The_Top_Bunk]

http://www.spudtech.com/

Google is your friend :rolleyes:

[Twopack]

Clucking Bell, these so called, 'Men of the Church' are getting more violent by the day!:eek:

[BEagle]

Yes, fine - but what have such weapons to do with the Padre?

The thread read 'canons', after all....

[Saintsman]

Tennis balls are for wimps.

Try using light bulbs :E

[newt]

Whilst in Deci we would use practice bomb cases collected from the range. Put them together using gaffer tape to form the tube! A banger was lit and dropped in the tube followed by an empty beer can! Then point it over the barrack block towards the officers mess! We later experimented with putting another banger in the empty beer can to get a nice airburst!!!



It was all geat fun until the Boss woke up and sent us all to bed again!! Well somebody had opened his door and thrown in a couple of bangers for good measure!!

[FantomZorbin]

I seem to remember that 'shell scrapes' down the corridor at Mountbatten evidenced billiard balls as ammunition - till AOC SouMAR stepped in and called a halt/cease fire!!:eek:

[BEagle]

One understands that a small white cabbage makes rather an interesting projectile.....

Particularly if fitted with a suitable banger to optimise the air burst effect.

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

I recall in MPA Mess, the lighter fuel technology applied to a tube of Pringles (well it was more entertaining than eating the bloody things) was good value. It must have been effective because it was specifically banned (you 111, 11 and 56 Sqn lads know who you are!)

[27mm]

The RNoAF F-16 guys demo'd their version to us 92 Sqn mates at Rygge - basically a piece of drainpipe firing a tennis ball - the fuel was Hydrazine, "borrowed" from their engine shop. It was a lethal weapon!

[hobie]

Amazing .... I can't see any of the Bean can joints ...... :p

(from link above)

Did anyone ever blow the roof of a Mess with one of these things .... :confused:

http://www.spudtech.com/images/products/tornado.jpg

[Gainesy]

If you need an area weapon (and can run really fast) put the beans back in, inside a poly bag.:E

[hobie]

If you need an area weapon (and can run really fast) put the beans back in, inside a poly bag

..... and be prepared to be "Demobbed" I would think ..... :p

[Northern Circuit]

Catering size tins give a 'meatier' cannon

making the ball out of gaffer tape enabled us to get an optimum sized projectile

although a rubber chicken worked fine for the 43 sqn demo

[threeputt]

Hello all,

a visiting Spit pilot R

If this is a modern day Spit jock and his name is Flt Lt C*****e B***n and he is stationed at Cranwell then you had better get a good one up and running. He was one of the best cannoniers I ever saw; what he could achieve with a couple of empty bean cans, some bodge tape and lighter fluid was mighty impressive.:ok:

3Putt

[teeteringhead]

Soldering and lighter fluid is cheating! Must be bodge tape and Lynx after shave (there's always some JP who uses it!).

Got complaints from air traffick at EGAA once cos the mess patio cannons were getting their rounds up to circuit height ......... :E

[thunderbird7]

Annular?! Annular?! Garlic Bread?! JFDI!

[Mzee]

Together with Jacko once made a 6 barrelled `gatling` bazooka out of beer cans and maskers on wheels for the HWI dinner at VL, once warmed up it ran well but only managed to get 5 to fire in one swing, took a lot of lighter fluid mind!

Also made one out of 6lb baked bean tins, that went seriously well, fired plastic football again once warmed up we tried a full can of lighter fluid and managed to get the ball from the w`room (old one) over the tennis courts across main road and onto the swimming pool roof!! blew the back out but what a shot.:\

The best one made (can`t remember who) out of Wessex cable cutter breech plus cartridges and fired squash balls that took chunks of plaster out, banned after that!!

[bwfg3]

Seem to remember Scroggs getting one in the eye from a well aimed cannon shot whilst in MPA.. How was the hospital food mate?:E :E

[snapper41]

In the good old days of wet-film tac recce, we found that 9" film tins from the RIC made good cannon barrels. Seem to remember taping so many together at Incirlik once that it resembled the Iraqi Supergun; my, how those Spam security police reacted when we let it off...:) :ouch: :E

[Art E. Fischler-Reisen]

Bit of deja vous here, we had a similar thread a while ago, never mind!

In the 1970s there was a real field gun outside the Odiham officers' mess. NAAFI bean cans (full ones, mind) were a very good fit down the barrel. A "spare" thunderflash was often found to send the beans on their way during happy hour. Fortunately, the gun was always aimed across the airfield because one day, OC Ops's dog, being taken out for its walk, found more than a few singed and battered cans about a half a mile away. Had the thing been aimed inboard on the domestic site it could have "bean" chaos. After that the spoilsports had a plate welded over the muzzle. :=

Never forget the night of our CFS course graduation. George McCracken shot the entire wooden pelmet, curtain rails, new curtains and a few kilos of barely dry plaster off the wall in the newly decorated Ladies room at Shawbury with the Navy's cannon. "Totally innocent accident, m'lud, of course".... True, he was aiming about twelve feet lower at a stack of pint pots on the back of an upturned armchair and missed. :)

[An Teallach]

I've Never seen a Mess Canon, less still had one blow off in my face (Mmmmatron!). We had a nun living-in at Cosford, once; though I never saw her do anything unusual with baked bean tins or lighter fuel.

[Ridgerunner]

Thanks for the fantastic replies! Will be a good night.

"Cannons"

[Hardly Worth it]

Don't forget the risk assessment, and remember to involve Health and Safety and then have a good evening !

:ok:

[raytofclimb]

Recommend you practise your best "aint seen nuffink guv" in case the feds come round.

I got investigated by SIB for making "class 1 firearms".

Whatever.

It was a long-barrelled pizo(!)-electric, deodorant powered spud gun and would knock fence panels off at about 25m.

Never saw it again, probably in their "museum".

Ray.

[plebby 1st tourist]

Recommend you practise your best "aint seen nuffink guv" in case the feds come round.
I got investigated by SIB for making "class 1 firearms".
Whatever.
It was a long-barrelled pizo(!)-electric, deodorant powered spud gun and would knock fence panels off at about 25m.
Never saw it again, probably in their "museum".
Ray.


Remember it well Ray, especially A*** C******* blowing that mannequin's head off with it. Genius.:E I recall the plod quote was "improvised weapons which any terrorist would be proud of" or similar.:=

[scroggs]

Seem to remember Scroggs getting one in the eye from a well aimed cannon shot whilst in MPA.. How was the hospital food mate?:E :E

Bloody Hell, that hurt! I hope it wasn't 'well-aimed'! My boys were a bit unhappy at the short-notice substitution in the crew, as I remember, but the engineers were probably happy that I was grounded for a day or three.

Corridor parties in MPA were always a bit tame after that one!

[Roland Pulfrew]

Corridor parties in MPA were always a bit tame after that one!


Ah MPA. I remember the test firing of a mess cannon in the corridor. IIRC twas made of a used 66mm AAW and used a tennis ball as ammo. At one end of the corridor were the gun crew and at the other end the catchers. The gun crew stopped test firing when the tennis ball managed to get half way through the glass panel of a fire door! You know the ones - two panes of glass with a wire lattice in between!! Needless to say the catchers didn't!

[teeteringhead]

"improvised weapons which any terrorist would be proud of" .... typical plod!!! ......ending a sentence with a preposition. :=

[hotshots!]

When firing indoors always consider the following:

1. Smoke alarms

2. Jag mates drunkenly running down the corridor like the tgts they are.

[MostlyHarmless]

Few things we found that... enhance...those cannon moment:

- Big combustion chamber leading to a narrow barrel
- Squirt of oxygen

Combines to bend 5mm steel into a funny pringle shape, stop all conversation in the bar dead and send a golf ball god know where. (Also toasted my No 5s with a hot gas leak)

Agree with earlier post by threeput; if it is CB, a couple of bean tins and some bodge tape 'aint going to cut the mustard :)

[HansBwix]

The legend of the good old ULAS Beer Mortar, named after a reither feisty member of the organisation, still exists - 6ft of high pressure aluminium steam piping welded into a cast iron fire extinguisher with muzzle brake and baffles - used to fire a frozen beer can up to 600ft with the judicious use of Lynx later changed to Physio Sport as it seemed to have a greater specific impulse. Wyton Scuffers said the IRA would be proud!

[Showtime100]

Ahh the joys of the Mess Cannon. It was one of the few simple pleasures of life during 4 months in the Falklands to be the custodian of the Mess Cannon. I remember during a Cape Petrel(?) Exercise at Mt Kent we were to be attacked by a squad from the Royal Green Jackets (they'd just been sent to the FI as the RIC after the debacle in Cyprus).

The whole unit withdrew to a defensive position up on the Ops Site as we heard them storming the Admin Site. Once cleared they set-upon coming up the hill and attacking the Ops site. As the duty controller and Jopso I was clearly instructed to stay out of the way and near the ops room as I was supposedly important, but I couldn't help myself. This was too good an opportunity to miss. Having expected such an eventuality I had taken the liberty of strategically pre-positioning the Mess Cannon and a binbag full of empty beer cans behind our forward lines.

As I heard the squad come up the hill I snook out to see the night sky lit up with a great trading of blanks, thunderflashes and those parachute flare things (schmoolies?). This was my chance. I ran to my pre-loaded cannon gave it a squirt, swung it about a bit to get the mix right, then pointed it down the hill over the heads of the defending team (and my boss) towards the flashes of the approaching enemy. In my best Michael Caine Zulu accent I shouted, "Front rank independent fire at will!" lit the cannon and with a satisfying THUD it fired its projectile over the top of the trenches and towards the enemy in a sweet and beautiful arc. I quickly reloaded and fired again. I have to say I was enjoying myself immensely however my fun was over far too quickly. After about the 5 or 6th shot there was I believe too much vapour in the cannon and what had been a satisfying THUD had now become a limp fizz. I decided that both the Mess Cannon and I had enjoyed our moment of glory so I packed it away and skulked back to the Ops Room.

In the post attack aftermath we all sat down for tea and biccies and had a chat with the RGJs about the event. They had expressed surprise during the attack when they saw a peculiar blue flash from the hill-side followed by incoming projectiles raining down on them only to find they where black and yellow empty Boddingtons cans. They were impressed at our ingenuity but asked that next time we fire cans that were full!

Happy Days! (Well relatively, it was the Falklands after all...)

[Capt H Peacock]

I wonder if anyone else used the NATO standard 2ft ashtray with removable centre dome. With a main charge of 1 x Thunderflash, a potent weapon system could be improvised. BDA showed that OM bar ceiling at Valley had been successfully engaged without much collateral damage.

[Mmmmnice]

Saw that thing with the ashtray at A'grove - ask the new Staish-to-be at N'holt if he'd like to repeat the the trick - I suspect not!! Just remember....you aint seen me

[PPRuNeUser0211]

lol, mess cannons with pringle tubes on braniac, sky 3, as we speak!

[Brian Abraham]

typical plod!!! ......ending a sentence with a preposition

Unlike aircrew............usually end with a proposition :ooh:

[Cumbrian Fell]

I have heard described a nifty little game that was (apparently) practised in RA Messes. Involved a disassembled shotgun (SBS, of course) a blind fold and a subaltern who had to run accross an open doorway. A more senior member of the mess would be blindfolded and would have to re-assemble the gun, load, aim and fire as subby ran past door way (no 7 derated cartridges, of course...). Can anyone else verify this...or have similar experiences?

[chippy63]

Transmit set to OT mode:

Remember the one about Whizzo, the World Famous Human Cannon Ball at the circus?

When he died, a circus spokesman said that it would be very difficult to find a successor of the same calibre...

Collecting coat and hat.

[Acey ducey]

Just for amusment we once tried using a flour projectile in the mess cannon. Make a cone out of paper, insert into barrel, fill with copious amounts of flour and cap with tissue paper.
Run into a room and let rip and you get an instant whiteout in which to retreat.:eek:

[Sid South]

The legend of the good old ULAS Beer Mortar, named after a reither feisty member of the organisation, still exists - 6ft of high pressure aluminium steam piping welded into a cast iron fire extinguisher with muzzle brake and baffles - used to fire a frozen beer can up to 600ft with the judicious use of Lynx later changed to Physio Sport as it seemed to have a greater specific impulse. Wyton Scuffers said the IRA would be proud!

Kirsty Mk2 exists at the secret SH base in oxfordshire. IIRC, a couple of years ago, she fired a tennis ball into the packed old bar at a dining in night, and punched a hole in the wood panelled end wall. :=

Kirsty Mk2 has not been live fired in the mess since. That's not to say that blank firings don't take place.......

SS

[Grimweasel]

Our fav' was the CO2 Passenger Lifejacket canister from the RAF AT fleet. Many an hour spent down the Falklands, firing the said canister from 1312 Flt, over the runway!!
Simply obtain some Alliminium shock-stut from your friendly Air-Despatcher and place a block of wood with a nail in protruding into the tube on the base. Simply drop the canister (thin end first) into the tube (a la mortar style), and stand clear, as said canister hits nail and ascends tube at great rate of knots!
Ace!

[Dunhovrin]

Is it true that the SH Force's firing of their Mess Cannon at Plocke (sp) caused the rest of the NATO forces to stand to? Apart from the French. who surrendered - just in case.

The cannon having been fired from the bar built on top of a hanger from sand bags that should have been used for revetments.

------------

And I seem to remember a certain Nomrid display pilot being a dab hand at dismantling water fire extinguishers to get at the CO2 canisters inside - useful for non-pyro Mess Cannons. All very well till the Fire Section did their inspection....

[Greengrass]

you think light bulbs are cool try using fine gravel aimed at some water ballons thrown into in the air now that is cool :E

[TheWizard]

Who fired that then eh, Sid?;) :oh: