Oh dear Lord, no! USAF LEAN

[brickhistory]

Just sat through my first LEAN briefing as its going to be applied to the USAF.

Thought the British would get a kick out of that and then perhaps provide ways to defeat this monster.

[monkeybumhead]

Don't put all your mongs/sicknotes/losers on the lean teams, use people with balls who don't just say yes to chopping things for choppings sake. Even better still, just get the powers that be to look at what it's done to the UK armed forces. They may have a rethink.

[Two's in]

You can't defeat it, but winning at bull$hit bingo get's much easier in a "LEAN" environment.

[The Helpful Stacker]

I agree, you can't defeat it but you can give the beast a bloody nose.

We managed to prove on one LEAN RIE for a section at my unit that by using Simpler's own stats for average working hours per person (5 1/2 hours of productive work in an 8 hour shift) that the section ( a 13 person section) was under-manned by 6 people. Of course being LEAN any stats you can pull out to prove trying to instigate saving would actually damage productivity are quietly ignored.

Oh yeah, and usually the first thing they say is that LEAN is not about cutting manpower before swiftly moving on to ask you how many personnel you have in you section.:ugh:

[SASless]

Air Force Lean???

I will bet you the Pizza Parlors, Clubs, swimming pools and such will not be cut. Our hearts used to bleed seeing how the boys in blue suffered in a combat zone....oh do check your weapon at the gate....no firearms allowed dear boy!

[The Helpful Stacker]

Robbed from 'E-Goat' (the place many of us non-growbag RAF types also hang around).

The Ministry of Defence says troops are to carry out a week-long review to see if additional equipment is needed.

How would that work? Fast forward to Afghanistan, in the near future....

The patrol is halfway through their prescribed route, 1st Lt Ponsonby-Smythe calls a halt.

P-S: Okay bwoys, we're about halfway thwough our patwol, time to get your feedback forms sorted.

Sgt Hardnut: Uh, sir, do you really think that's wise? We're pretty exposed here.

P-S: muttering Bloody sergeants. raises voice It'll be fine, sergeant, we've theen no thight of the enemy for the past couple of hours. Just make sure the lads use their safety goggles, we don't want anyone getting splinters in their eye from the penthils.

Sgt H: Very well sir, turns to patrol Get 'em out and filled in lads, by the numbers.

Private Pile: Sarge, my pencil's bust.

Private Heap: What does it mean, 'Specify nomenclature?'

Sgt H: God help me, Pile, use my pencil. Don't try to sharpen your bayonet with it! Heap, just write your name.

Heap obediently writes down 'Your Name'

Private Finance: Sarge, what's a 'Expediting Concept for the Exit Process'?

Sgt H: F*cks sake, I've told you all before, a f*ckin' Chinook!

Private Bill: Sarge, there's something moving out there

P-H: Jutht fill the form in, Bill. There's nothing out there you need to be contherned about.

Sgt H: peers towards the horizon Actually Sir...

Sudden tracer fire rips up the ground around the men, 1st Lt Ponsonby-Smythe dives to the ground.

P-S: Finance, Finance! Parth me that Risk Athethment form! He pulls out a pencil and starts scribbling furiously This'll show them!

Sgt H: Come on lads, get some f*ckin' rounds down. Put those beardy-weirdies out of our misery!

The platoon open fire enthusiastically. 1st Lt Ponsonby-Smythe makes a note to get Sgt Hardnut booked in for some Equality and Diversity training.

Meanwhile, back in LEAN HQ:

S/L Brownose: We need to be more proactive about this, Sgt Asshat, get a memo out. I want a representative from all sections to attend this event. Make sure you get 3 Company too, I don't want them crying off with any of that 'teeth arm' bollocks.

Sgt Asshat: Certainly sir, although we are running low on Post-It notes.

S/L B: Can't be having that, tell the stackers I want a priority demand for them. If they try to cause trouble tell them we're always ready to give their next RIE our fullest attention.

Sgt A: looks up from his phonecall Sir, they say they'll kick the mail off the aircraft and get them down here asap.

S/L B: Right, lets do a quick review so we know the solution everyone should work towards. I'm not happy with our touch-time and flow-time ratio. Why are we sending patrols out to look for our customers? Their total travel's something like 20 km. We're going to have to do something about that.

Sgt A: I've run some preliminary simulations, sir. Flow time is equating to roughly 14 hours with the average touch time only 45 minutes. If we could drop the flowtime somehow...

S/L B: By God, Asshat, you may have something there. Its a good thing I thought of that. If we could drop the flowtime, perhaps by bringing the customers closer...

Sgt A: It's an option, sir. If we move the accomodation tents and armoury closer to the camp gate, we can cut the flowtime for the guys to leave the camp.

S/L B: And not just that Sgt Asshat, if we move the accomodation tents and armoury closer to the camp gate, we can cut the flowtime for the chaps to leave the camp. Then all we'll have to do is move the customer closer. We can do that by dropping the travel distance, say by a factor of 10.

Sgt A: Of course, ultimately the whole operation would achieve full efficiency if we can get the guys into contact situations immediately outside...

S/L B: Yes, I've got it. We could achieve full efficiency if we can get the guys into contact situations immediately outside the camp. We can facilitate that by making sure that the patrol routes are only around the camp perimeter. And that'll mean there'll be no need for helicopter support as everything will be within easy reaching distance. Requistion some paint so we can get some boxes on the ground. We'll need to demarkate the conflict areas, rest areas and medivac zones. Yes, I think I've got our solution!

Sgt A: That'll be another promotion in the bag, sir.

Shortly after the implentation of Afghan LEAN, Kandahar was over-run by Taliban forces. In a strange twist of fate and common sense, they only executed the LEAN team...



;)

[brickhistory]

Air Force Lean???
I will bet you the Pizza Parlors, Clubs, swimming pools and such will not be cut. Our hearts used to bleed seeing how the boys in blue suffered in a combat zone....oh do check your weapon at the gate....no firearms allowed dear boy!


SASless,

I never try to defend the hand to hand 'fighting' qualities of USAF airmen (save for Combat Controllers and PJs!) with any ground pounders. But then, I also respond to the envy disguised as contempt with "We all volunteered to join the US military. It's just that some of us turned left at the recruiter's and some turned right."

US Service battle cries:

USMC: Oooh-rah!
USA: Hu-ah!
USN: Ahoy!
USAF: Fore!

Loads of airmen (and USN sailors as well) are being shanghied into convoy and other formerly USA/USMC duty to help stretch the Army's commitments. (I really hope it doesn't devolve into a "well, you shouldn't be there to start with" or "GWB is the devil," etc. from some, but then I am too optimisic at times.)

We are in the midst of a 40K + reduction with another 30K + being seriously considered.

[Two's in]

Brick,

I'll give you 3 replies before it's all on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Good Luck.

[Mr C Hinecap]

You have to reduce what you've got, so you have to get better and more focused on what you do. You can't tell me that you are the most efficient organisation, so you need a method of critically looking at what you do and cutting out all the crud.
Lean is just a method of doing that. If you don't train the people properly and put the right people into it, of course it will be crap. Same as a gun - safe in trained responsible hands, dangerous in the hands of an untrained idiot.

[GlosMikeP]

As long as Just In Time doesn't become Just Not In Time by getting carried away with the theory and becoming over-lean.

[Reach]

Gotta find some way of paying for C17, F22 and a replacement for the KC135, not to mention OIF and OEF.

[modtinbasher]

[quote=The Helpful Stacker;2907127]I agree, you can't defeat it but you can give the beast a bloody nose.

We managed to prove on one LEAN RIE for a section at my unit that by using Simpler's own stats for average working hours per person (5 1/2 hours of productive work in an 8 hour shift) that the section ( a 13 person section) was under-manned by 6 people. Of course being LEAN any stats you can pull out to prove trying to instigate saving would actually damage productivity are quietly ignored. quote]

Having qualified properly in Method Study and it's associated techniques, after being taught properly at the Royal Military College of Science somewhere near a white horse on a hill, what somebody wants to do is to ask Simpler if any of their staff are "suitably" qualified to receive the vast amounts of "consultancy income" that they currently receive. And ask to see their qualifying papers too while you're at it!!

I did, some years back, and was surprised at the result. Even their 'leading man' who has made mega bucks out of the MoD by spreading the lean message wasn't anywhere near as qualified as some corporals I've known.

[The Helpful Stacker]

Having qualified properly in Method Study and it's associated techniques, after being taught properly at the Royal Military College of Science somewhere near a white horse on a hill, what somebody wants to do is to ask Simpler if any of their staff are "suitably" qualified to receive the vast amounts of "consultancy income" that they currently receive. And ask to see their qualifying papers too while you're at it!!

I did, some years back, and was surprised at the result. Even their 'leading man' who has made mega bucks out of the MoD by spreading the lean message wasn't anywhere near as qualified as some corporals I've known.

Indeed. I've spotted many ads for Simpler consultants with the underlying message being that no formal qualifications are necessary.

Most of the RAF personnel who are on the LEAN team at our unit seem to be doing it so that they can get some experience, take redundancy or PVR and then go for a job with the company.

[enginesuck]

If you don't train the people properly and put the right people into it, of course it will be crap. Same as a gun - safe in trained responsible hands, dangerous in the hands of an untrained idiot.

The same could be said for the US presidency

[brickhistory]

I'll give you 3 replies before it's all on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Good Luck.


See, my faith in humanity is not mis-placed.

It took seven posts (see above) to go from help with fighting off LEAN to having a go at our President.

[enginesuck]

Who am I to disapoint.....Seriously though good luck with the lean, maybe your right undercariage guy might be able to take on the mantle of the left undercarriage guy as well, thus saving manpower...

[The Helpful Stacker]

I remember when I was one of those gallant petrol pump attendants from Stafford phoning Milldenhall to enquire on the whereabouts of the MH53 that was supposed to have turned up 40 minutes ago.

USAF - "Hello Milldenhall Ops, Sgt Overstaffed speaking."

Me - "Can you tell me when the MH53 that was booked in today is going to arrive at Stafford?"

USAF - "I can't as I just receive calls but I can pass you to someone who can."

Me - "So you guys pay a Sgt to answer phones?"

USAF - "Yes."

I guess there might be a little fat that can be trimmed from the air force of our colonial brethren.:}

[Reach]

I guess there might be a little fat that can be trimmed from the air force of our colonial brethren


Are you kidding? There are some days I can't even make it down to the golf course.

[BluntedAtBirth]

See, my faith in humanity is not mis-placed.

It took seven posts (see above) to go from help with fighting off LEAN to having a go at our President.

If PPrune were properly leaned it would only have taken 2 posts...

[Jackonicko]

OK Brick, I'll bite.

How is it going to be applied to the USAF?

[brickhistory]

The briefing I attended used the same acronym, LEAN, to institute changes/reductions in how various organizations/units do their procedures/duties with an eye to meeting the announced 40K cuts in personnel and probably significantly more.

I am making the assumption it is the same LEAN as is often maligned on these pages?

[Jackonicko]

So how are they going to apply it?

[brickhistory]

So how are they going to apply it?

Not a clue, hence my looking for counter-measures here.

[Jackonicko]

Basic error No.1

I assumed you'd listened to the brief telling you how they planned to apply it.

I would have drowsed in the back row, I suspect, so no blame.....

[brickhistory]

Basic error No.1
I assumed you'd listened to the brief telling you how they planned to apply it.
I would have drowsed in the back row, I suspect, so no blame.....


The mass brief dealt mainly with the on-going and coming cuts, LEAN was an acronym listed as one method of doing so. They did not elaborate specifically. As it was an overview brief on the drawdown and I'm very definitely in the twilight of my career, I did indeed slouch lower in the back of the auditorium and drift off. Happy to help them meet their lower numbers.

I did think that there might be some humo(u)rous posts here and for the most, I have not been disappointed. Some exceptions of course.........

[vecvechookattack]

I've had a lot of exposure to LEAN and I have to say it workks a treat. You have to take it in its real context. My units flying programme was LEAN'd and the result was - More aircraft = More Flying. The engineers LEAN's theoir maintenance schedule...result = More aircraft on the line. I admit, at first it was a bit of a Ball$ ache but once the new routines were established it works fine.