sizematters
29th Aug 2006, 00:32
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
Security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Little Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Little Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." (The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate.") This rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.Also fireworks have now been banned in Paris after a recent display caused the soldiers in a nearby barracks to rush out and try to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade Poland" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday, as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels
Security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Little Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Little Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." (The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate.") This rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.Also fireworks have now been banned in Paris after a recent display caused the soldiers in a nearby barracks to rush out and try to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade Poland" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday, as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels