Rules against witty pilots ?

[Joles]

While I am more grounded than flying thanx to my job, I do manage to transform into SLF atleast one a month on an average in India. I fly all airlines, good pilots, bad pilots, but mostly quiet pilots. I barely get to hear their names since they are "imported" and the Indians have a problem with any name that doesnt sound Indian/ English/American for some reason.

Worse is they don't chat up the SLF at all ! I mean harldy any announcements about where we are, what are we flying over, how cold is it outside, when do we reach, hows the traffic....?????nothing......................:bored:

Is there a rule against this anyone ?
Cheers
Anurag

[scruggs]

I think it just depends on the individual crew.

Last time I flew with Virgin, the captain said:

"Virgin have some of the best cabin crew in the industry, sadly none are on board today - but they will do their best not to spill boiling coffee over you"

Everyone laughed, it got a great reception by the CC and SLF alike. The crew kept us well informed throughout the flight.

Yet coming back, we heard from the Flight Crew only on the ground in TAPA, then just prior to landing in EGKK. But perhaps he wanted to keep chatter to a minimum as it was a red-eye atlantic crossing.

I'm not sure about "rules", I think as long as its not unprofessional, its OK.

[TightSlot]

One of the difficulties is, that there are as many opinions on PA's as there are PA's made. A search through this forum reveals that for some, little or no information is just fine, and for others, the more the better. As a result, each crew member will decide upon their own tone and frequency of PA, accepting that some, at least will appreciate it, and others may not.

[wanderin_star]

I find it reassuring for captain to give short speech after take off - route, weather conditions, etc... On the other hand when it is a foreign airline and combination of bad tannoy system and poor english, and I cannot make out which language he is speaking, its a different matter. With English being the international aviation language, I wonder what problems there would be communicating with traffic control in an emergency.

[Nobend]

For the last four years I have visited China and made many internal flights without so much as squeek or peep from the flight crew.

The cabin crew make all the announcements such as route, weather etc. and on a couple of flights tickets were auctioned.

[mhk77]

I'm sure we had a stand up comedian moonlighting as a pilot in the flight deck with Thompson last summer! We were delayed after landing for about 20minutes waiting for someone to vacate our stand, and his banter was excellent!

[ecnalubma]

While I was flying Westjet here in Canada everytime the F/A took a small break in her preflight announcements you could here a HIC, how that girl kept a straight face is beyond me.

[fireflybob]

Like the allegedly true story of the flight from LHR to LAX (circa 10 hours) - not a word from the flightdeck until 5 hours after take off when the words "HALFWAY" were uttered on the PA. Nothing more was said for the rest of the flight!

[West Coast]

I actually like to make PA's. I dunno, perhaps the narcissist in me. That said, I get feedback that all I'm doing is waking up the pax or otherwise interrupting them. I now keep it to a minimum.

[silverelise]

I think there's a time and a place for PA's from the front. My personal opinion is that the most you normally need is two - a welcome from the driver for them to introduce the crew and give me any update on departure time / expected arrival time, and then a second update with about 30 mins to land. Beyond that I want to stick the telly or radio on, sit back and switch off and not be interrupted every 5 minutes with an update. If I want to know where we are or where we are going I can look at the moving map.

[Bangkokeasy]

There have been quite a few similar threads to this, but there are some good basic points that it doesn't hurt to bring up from time to time.

In my view, there are two things to bear in mind.

Firstly, there are the necessary crew announcements, usually at arrival and departure. If crew can get accross what they have to say in an individual (yes, witty is OK too) manner, then it makes even the most hardened SLF pay more attention. It also puts smiles on people's faces, meaning the passenger will have a good feeling about the flight and thus more likely to come back again.

The second thing is announcements during the flight. I am sure this must be taught in Flight crew 101, but the key thing here is to consider what the SLF are doing at the time. If it is in the middle of a movie, or when a lot of them are asleep, then announcements are simply unwelcome, whatever the nature and should be avoided, unless absolutely necessary. If a FA comes on the PA and wakes me up, or interrupts the climax of the latest blockbuster movie, to announce we will be landing in a little over an hour and this is the final opportunity to buy duty free, or that we are cruising at 36000ft and hope we have a pleasant flight, then frankly, they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine. The time to do that sort of thing is during meals, or other times when breaking concentration doesn't get people riled.

[spiney]

I remember a flight, many years ago now - Boston to San Fransisco on United... daytime flight, not much decent IFE, not much of anything really.. Mid way the Captain came on the PA and did his usual stuff on the flight, weather, arrival time etc. He went on for some time and proceeded onto what most people assumed was a bit of PR... explaining to the passengers some aspects of flight safety, the expanding United route network, importance of customer service... whatever. He started off in that slow, relaxed southern drawl.. totally professional, totally competent, Mr Pete Perfect Pilot and gradually, over a couple of minutes, degraded to Jethro Hillbilly, swimming around in the shallow-end of the gene pool, who'd certainly have made the cast of Deliverence... It was very subtley done, probably very well rehearsed, and by the end totally hysterical. It was fascinating looking around the cabin seeing at what stage various passengers were picking up on the fact this wasn't a cabin announcement, but a comedy sketch. Very memorable.

[Darren999]

Flew with southwest in the US on internal flight. The PA pre departure speech was very fuuny, and a real change from the dead beat norm. The lady hada good sense of humour, Wish a few more could be this way.... my 2 cents....

[MagnusP]

LAX-HNL with UA, and with about an hour to run, one of the CC came on to give lessons in Hawaiian pronunciation. Nice touch, and very wittily done.

Aloha and Mahalo.
Magnus

[StarWinder]

Flew on S2 today from VIDP to VOHY on what seemed to be a brand new 737-800. Interestingly, CC made no announcements but instead had strange pre-recorded messages going, such as:

"Direct access message # 1. This is a seat belt announcement".

Very strange.... and the voice used for the message was definitely American :ugh:

[Memetic]

We flew on Kenya Airways last month and the first time a "Direct access...blah2 blah blah message came on to say belt up. My (v. nervous pax) wife nearly had a heart attack.

She did not calm down until about ten minutes later when a real human voice announce that the (minor) turbulance had passed.

Her theory was thatautomated messages are made in emergencies...

I can understand that its faster to press a button to deliver a message, but think it is sloppy practice, leading to poor communication to leave the "Direct access message..." bit in. It conveys no useful information to the majority on board - the passengers and leads to people saying what was that? an hence talking over the real content.

Is there a certification reason for the direct access preamble or are the airlines just too tight fisted to record proper messages?


---
Edited to correct this to Kenya instead of Kenyan

[TightSlot]

...or are the airlines just too tight fisted to record proper messages?...

Many people seem to hold the view that airlines are "tight" - sometimes it feels as though the industry is regarded in a particularly dismal light by almost everybody.

Surely, any business is run to maximise profit for the shareholders. That is accepted practise for everybody, except apparently airlines?

On this particular issue, I favor the cock-up rather than the conspiracy theory.

Discuss

[Memetic]

Surely, any business is run to maximise profit for the shareholders. That is accepted practise for everybody, except apparently airlines?

Ok i admit I was taking a cheap shot. I just had vision of some bean counter having saved $10,000 on a $xxx Million aircraft deal by not realising that the decision would result in alarmed or confuse passengers.

Its that not realising that would move this into the cock up category - the cash saving would be doing thier job right.

That said if it would require some sort of certification variation to change the messages I imagine it could cost thousands more than my plucked out of the air figure.

So does anyone know why the premable is left in?

Memetic

[Hirsutesme]

Some years ago, took a flight from Bristol to Lisbon. Bristol shrouded in snow, long wait while little snow ploughs hurtled up and down trying to clear runway, then boarded and further wait (flying Sabena) until, with heart in mouth we commenced take off. As approaching take off speed, definite feel of aircraft commencing sideways slide!. But, great work by pilot, soared upwards, all quiet until cleared cloud into brilliant sunshine, all beginning to relax, then, click, intercom comes on,pilots says, in ponderous doom laden tones "Ladies unt Gentlemenz, ve haf a problem..." long long pause, utter silence from pax " ve haff no hot vater for ze coffee, hur hur hur!"
Dont let anyone tell you Belgians dont have a sense of humour!:bored: