you won't believe this

[Magp1e]

This may make you laugh, or it may make you cry..... The reason why blunties are a flight safety hazard.

At a flying unit in the south of England.
"Admin Wg blunties will not be providing an Ord Off on Christmas day because nobody has.volunteered "



:confused:

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

We have a JEngO here at Lyneham who has asked for a volunteer SNCO to be in charge of a Barrack Block.

No takers so far.

[Muppet Show]

The Wiltshire transport base's intranet is asking for a volunteer (any branch) to fly out to Gander and 'guard' the ac overnight before flying straight home the next day....not sure if we have any takers yet?

Mind you it's probably safer than a night in Reflections with the local lovelies...;)

[Wyler]

Writing from a base that has 2 of its three Admin Sqn's run by Civil Servants...I believe it.:(

[BEagle]

Back in the days when we had an air force, at RAF Brawdy there were very few OMQs on base. So when it came to the question of Christmas Day SDO, the Stn Cdr said that rather than ask for volunteers, or draw names out of a hat, he would nominate someone and there were to be no arguments.

Which he duly did.

Who did he nominate?

Himself. A fine example of leadership and much appreciated by everyone.

[goldcup]

Question for you all: can you guess which section has been tasked with providing th Christmas Day SDO at an AT/AAR base near Oxford?

Answer: That's right- the one with 3 crews in Bahrain for Christmas Day, one in the Falklands, one on QRA and (I think) two on standby. (And a further 3 covering New Year for the same tasks).

Cue self righteous blunty telling us how hard they're all working and how doing Christmas Day SDO is a duty blah blah blah......

[Roguedent]

We do, and this is most definately a prod to the other section not volunteering. Seeing as the section that is busy has volunteered for most of the tasking it has received, and the Duty Adminer, thats right the one duty adminer who only has to be on the end of a phone, can drink and enjoy the festivities, unlike the nice volunteer for tansor who has to stay stone cold. I like the idea that it is Harry's train set and why shouldn't a young thruster do his bit for his Ojar.

I personnelly like the last time I visited said section, and the sign on the door was ' Closed on Wed for Admin '

Hmmm, thought that was your job. Can we please have a day off just for catching up.

p.s I like what you have done with the place as well. Moving everything around just to slight confuse us all

Go with the back lash from Captain Darling.... :ok:

[Uncle Ginsters]

I never could understand the requirement for an SDO at BZZ. The SDO's just a glorified switchboard; if anything happens, you go to the magic file/bag and phone the required trade/duty bod to sort it out.
Why do we need this when there's a 24hr DOC in Stn Ops with a full team around him/her?

As for the Xmas day saga - maybe we'll all get into a room, hold hands, talk about our personal grievances and opt that SDO is a breach of our human rights and thus an illegal order ;) and just not do it?

Merry Christmas. :ok:

Uncle G

[Cornish Jack]

Was SDO at one of Auntie Mary's Transport bases some years ago - 'twas a Sunday and the first day of April. Usual hours of sod-all happening and then a 'phone call!!
"This is the (something or other) at The Sun. We would like to deliver a large bag of budgerigar seed to the troops in the Falklands. Can you meet our vehicle at the main gate and arrange for the transfer to the aircraft?" ...........
I suspect you will be truly amazed that my reply contained some deletable expletives:mad: and some timely advice for novel use of said seed. :E Job done!!:ok:
Back to work on Monday to be informed that the request had been for real and was being processed.:oh: :oh:
Presumably higher authority realised that England's premier comic had been less than intelligent to try to initiate yet another publicity stunt on that particular day!!
Oh I do miss it - not ;)

[Red Line Entry]

"Was SDO at one of Auntie Mary's Transport bases some years ago "

Auntie Mary? - that WAS a bally long time ago!!

[Mr Wippy]

SDO isnt the only person working over the grant. Get over it!

[seven4mankind]

Jesus Christ.

We've got a bloody good Civilian doc doing ours - unpaid and unappreciated.
For the love of god, is this really important?
The blunties are by no means the only job 's worth arses in HMF. Aircrew are getting worse by the hour.

Get on with it, smile, there are folk much worse off.

[Roguedent]

Mr Wippy and Seven, don't lose sight of the thread, I guess you should look to the very first line. People are working hard and over the grant, its the fact that the blunties don't want to volunteer to help out.

Get on with it, smile, there are folk much worse off

Yes there are, thanks for pointing out the obvious. But why shouldn't said section volunteer, as the flying sections have had to for duty crew trips, dets, tansor etc....

Aircrew are getting worse by the hour

Do you count yourself in the job's worth bit. Tell you what, lets get rid of all the aircrew to the airlines by chasing them out due to poor quality of life, which includes doing another duty, at the most important family time of the year, after you have been away for most of the weekends in the year and on det for 4 months of the year. :oh: (takes deep breath)

Personnelly I volunteered for a det over Xmas, helps out some bod with kids and stuff. I challenge a bluntie to what they have volunteered for over the grant. You see I may be wrong and they may be doing stuff, like unloading santa's paper clips. Two lorry loads I think. :ok:

[vecvechookattack]

Im surprised these bases are open over Christmas. Don't the RAF bases close for leave periods?

[goldcup]

I think that's a bite.....

[Mr Wippy]

I do agree that there should be more volunteers, but in todays climate, End to End, Lean and cost cutting, why is there the need to have so many people on duty?

Duty Supplier
Duty Medic
Guards
Duty Technicians
Duty Squippers
Duty Cpl
Duty Sgt
RAF Police

etc etc etc

is it cost effective to have so many 'available'?

Certain camps have extended their grant periods purely as a cost cutting exercise, the less people you have on a camp, the cheaper it is to run. Less electricity being used, less food being eaten in the mess, less people being paid home to duty etc etc.

If people aren't needed, get rid of em and let them have their xmas and new year.

[tablet_eraser]

Over the entire grant period there will be:

QRA(I) crews and groundcrew on standby at Leuchars and Coningsby.
A TANSOR crew and groundcrew on standby at Brize Norton.
CAOC personnel on duty at High Wycombe.
Fighter Controllers and TG12 personnel on duty at Boulmer.
RAF Police, MPGS and RAF personnel guarding every RAF station.
PMRAFNS personnel on duty at various hospitals around the country.
Over 4,000 deployed personnel on duty around the world.

Many of these people will have to work for several days over this period. Some will have to face utter boredom, others will be actively working.

OO is a light duty that lasts for a day.

a. If the Adminers don't supply someone, it's up to the command chain to realise this and adjust their attitude.
b. If you've been nominated, be happy that as long as nothing happens on the quietest days of the year, all you'll need to do is salute the ensign and check on the guards.

[southside]

Its not a bite. Why are they open? Why not close the base over Christmas? Will there be any flying / Operations over Christmas?

[KPax]

Dont forget cheery old Lyneham, home of Lean, 24/30,47/70 eng the many other duty staff that keep the RAF's only MEDA open 24/7. And to cap it all off you get the best Air Traffic service in the RAF. Before you all bite thats what the RAF think this year anyway. Winners of the 'Raytheon Falconer' trophy for the past 12 months.

[Guernsey Girl II]

tablet_eraser
To add to your AD-centric list. Lads and lasses both air and ground crew on all the RN and RAF SAR units, the stand-by Nimrod and the ARCC (yes, I know all very SAR-centric!) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all

GG II

[Brain Potter]

In recent memory, at the secret Oxon airbase, the Stn Adj was heard to say that Aircrew should do the Sat/Sun OO duty as they were used to working at weekends. It would have been a great wind up but I fear it was a genuine comment.

About the same time Admin Wg did not attend the Flight Safety day as "Flight Safety is nothing to do with us" :ooh:

BTW close the bases over Xmas? - Have another look at those AD, AT, SAR etc commitments. Why not ask those who do not contribute to the 24/7 tasks to take on the Stn duties over their "grant".

[DSAT Man]

On a slightly different tack, I remember occupying the duty bunk at the Compassionate Cell at Innsworth the day after Boxing Day 3 years ago. I believe it's true to say that no-one minds doing this; it's the one duty where you truly make a difference. The bunk is always manned and there is always someone at the end of the phone; death and serious illness is no respecter of the festive season. I've lost count of the times that I've got someone home from abroad to be with their loved ones when they have been needed. It is one of the things that we in the Services do really well. But I digress.....

Imagine my reaction on this occasion when the phone went in the late afternoon and I found some air cdre on the other end of the line. No pleasantries or howdedos.

'Compassionate Cell. Sqn Ldr .... speaking.'

'Ah... Air Cdre ....... here. Do you have the New Year's Honours List there?'

'I don't think so.'

'Could you find out for me?'

'I'm sorry sir, this is the Compassionate Cell. I can't help you. Goodbye.'

Felt good that. :p

[Roland Pulfrew]

Good to see that the blunt wing at Brize have not changed their attitudes. Back in the late 90s, just when Desert Fox kicked off, the country's premier tanker squadron had to deploy 3 additional crews to Bahrain a week before Christmas and with 48 hours notice. Not many Christmases bu**ered up their then?

That was on top of the 2 crews doing QRA in MPA, the one crew already in Bahrain and the equivalent crews who were flying out between Christmas and New Year to do the dets over New Year. Who was providing SDO on 2 of the 3 bank holidays over the festive period? The same Sqn!!!!

IIRC Admin provided 1, Eng 1 and ATC 1 over the rest of the period from 23 Dec to 03 Jan. And OC Admin (she of the aforementioned "Flight Safety is nothing to do with Admin Wing" fame) had the gall to tell us that Christmas duties had to be shared equally amongst all station personnel. Nothing changes...... but perhaps we should link this topic to the "Why are people leaving in droves?" topic!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of those who are on the varying forms of Q, SAR or Op Dets this Christmas.

[Bob Viking]

It shouldn't be THAT hard to find volunteers.
Where I work I know of at least two squadron execs (thats right, EXECS) who volunteered since they live on the patch and are staying around at Chrimbo, so saluting the flag a couple of times and taking some chocolates to the guys and gals on guard isn't too much of a hassle. I didn't see any blunties doing the same though!
In all seriousness, there must be enough people on the patch who stay around to cover the period anyway. As a sweetener they can be given immunity from duties for a while as a reward.
Simple really.
BV:ok:

[Tamaze Man]

In addition to the AD, SAR, RAFP etc, a sqn of Harriers in Afghanistan! It really is everyone apart from the blunties!

[BEagle]

Well, if I had ever got off my ar$e and done the relevant reading, writing, licking and crawling courses which grease the passage of promotion to become a staish, I would have summoned OC Admin into the office and invited him/her to toss a coin....

"What for?" he/she would have asked....

"The winner gets to choose whether to do Christmas or Boxing Day SDO, the loser will do the other. Questions on that, OC A?" would have been the reply.

Volunteered for several Christmas Incirliks over the years. One Stn Cdr personally wrote everyone an individual card, he knew his people. Another sent the same card to everyone - he didn't know his ar$e from his elbow.

[Shagster]

I remember a Flt Safety film from a few years back. it followed a jockey the morning before a sortie, as he tried to clear up an admin blunder with pay / claims. He was passed pillar to post without ever getting anywhere.
The delay in SHQ meant that he missed lunch and the Mess wouldn't provide a late meal. OK NAFFI sandwich will have to do. MT is late so he's behind checking in for briefing......
The sortie is never completed because he prangs in. Cause...pilot distraction. It painted a vivid picture for me about "everyone is involved in FS", maybe it needs re-airing(is that a word?) .

[BEagle]

Wasn't that a re-make of the classic 'Frustration' which featured a couple of mates ferrying a Javelin back in the days when we had an air force?

[Wyler]

Here we have been told all the JO Adminers are singlies so its not fair for them to get an Xmas duty. All the other single JO's on the various Q shifts however, get to live in a darkened mess and walk half a mile to get their food in the airmens mess.
No senior officers either from handbrake house as those of us on Q can 'double up' as duty exec.
Oh yes, and they finish 2 days before Ops so no claims etc processed until 06.
I can honestly say that the Admin support I have had over the last 6 years has been Sh*te. I have been into the Admin office and the phones have been ringing whilst they drink tea and read the papers. 'It's our break Sir' is the reply. The Civvy accountants actually lock their doors during breaks and lunch to literally keep you out.
If the Orderly Officer cannot make it to wave at the flag due to flying he/she has to ring OC GD and 'beg' for a favour. Ths favour is usually followed by a complaint from Oc Admin about Ops 'putting on' Admin.
I have thrown my toys out of the cot on many occasions but the civvies are untouchable and the service types just shrug. Very little support from the Wg Cdrs.
Jeez, how depressing, I'll stop there.
Happy Christmas to all of you on shift this festive season, or away from home.

[Safeware]

A number of years ago I was in the position of being one of those who had a QRA committment. As an Engineer, we had to be available to deal with the jets out of hours - not a large pool of people so Duty Eng average was once every 4-6 weekends. This, along with QRA aircrew, made us exempt from SDO. So, over Crimbo we volunteered to cover SDO. Made no difference to us - we'd be at home, unable to drink and available for call-out anyway.

Not difficult, and meant that the minimum no of people were on duty.

sw

[tablet_eraser]

Hi Guernsey Girl... I immediately regretted not mentioning SAR... as well as the Royal Navy personnel at sea providing our deterrent and power projection, the Army lads and lasses around the world... the list goes on. Over 30,000 personnel deployed, one way or another, away from home across the three Services.

Puts orderly officer into its place, don't you think?

Anyhoo, Merry Christmas one and all, and a very Happy New Year!

[DP Harvey]

quote: At a flying unit in the south of England.
"Admin Wg blunties will not be providing an Ord Off on Christmas day because nobody has volunteered "

Hmm, I would suggest that the author is probably exagerrating the story, somewhat. If its Admin Wg's turn to provide the OO and no volunteer appears from within, then there is no reason why they shouldn't ask for a volunteer from elsewhere. If no volunteer is forthcoming from elsewhere, then Admin Wg must meet its obligation, and I'm sure they will.

I doubt that OC Admin Wg would support the position that his wing will not provide the OO solely due to a lack of volunteers.

[Wyler]

I am sitting in my place of work contemplating my Xmas Q shifts.

10 minutes ago a civvy walked in and stated that the extension cable on my kettle is illegal. I asked why and he said 'because it is'. I asked what specific hazzard it posed, no answer. Not wanting to kick off WW3 I asked what he would like me to do about it.
I have to contact some other civvies and request that they come down and change the existing lead for one that is legal. In the meantime, not allowed to use the kettle. When will they change it? Sometime in Jan because they are busy and have started their Grant today. Is there paperwork involved? Yes, lots. If I get the lead can I do it? No, H&SAW. How long has exisiting lead been used? 3 months.
The extension lead I have is shop bought and conforms to all the necessary safety standards. Even if I am missing something this 5 minute job is going to take weeks.
Man in shirt and tie did wish me a Merry Xmas though, so that's OK.
Anyway, must go, the kettles boiling.

[BEagle]

Priceless.....

[buoy15]

Southside and Mr Whippy - Bonny lads

Tablet missed out the vital national asset - SAR - fixed and rotary

As these valiant aircrew stalwarts are on stand-by in the messes for 24/7/365, unfortunately, the stns involved have to remain 'partially' open to provide back up

Merry Christmas to all these lovely people!:ok:

[Sloppy Link]

We have a far fairer system. Simply have a Regimental dinner about 4-6 weeks prior to the Xmas break with free wine/port etc and have speeches that last for an hour plus. Xmas duties problem solved!
Happy Christmas to those that are working over the break, if it is because of your trade, thank you for allowing me and my family to sleep well in our beds, if it is because of shennanigans in the mess, thank you for allowing me to sleep in my bed.

[droid3]

Wyler,

I used your kettle the other night, seemed ok to me...

Season's Greetings to all.

[SmilingKnifed]

Bob Viking, we had a similar deal from OC Ops a couple of years back, he volunteered for New Year's Eve and I (lucky young Fg Off) had New Year's Day.

Duly called the day before to check on handover to be told, I'll drop it off to the mess around lunchtime as I'm sure you'll be hungover.

He was as good as his word too.

Beags, the Distraction film I saw featured a Jag mate and a C/T in the run up to a det.

[Gainesy]

"Anyway, must go, the kettles boiling."

Classic.

[Maple 01]

Wyler,
If you work in a bunker mains leads have to be special non- smoke hyper-sonic type tested to 9 G or something
Tis true - I remember an entire IT system being shut down for the wrong cables

Don't know if this applies in your case

[vecvechookattack]

I'd just like to wish you all a very merry Christmas from a deserted airstation in the SW. Just me, the civvies on the Main Gate and a SAR flight of 4 blokes in the entire base.....Watching tumbleweed roll down Runway 12.

Hope the new year is more exciting than this.

To all Servicemen and women serving abroad over Xmas - Thank you guys - Have a great Chrimbo.

[Wyler]

Droid 3

Good. Next time, wash up:E

Maple 01.
Fair point but their timing and smug attitude stink.

Merry Xmas.

[Gainesy]

Very, very few civvies were even allowed down R3/ into R12 when I were a lad. Is it still either Betty Swollocks or Brass Monkeys with nothing between?

[FJJP]

As a DIOT Flt Cdr I used to drum the flight safety message into the heads of ALL cadets of ALL branches, illustrating that every single person is involved in the chain that needs to be broken to prevent accidents.

A few years on and I met one of my [truely] delightful ex-cadets, who was now OC PSF at a base where I was detached. Over a beer or three one evening he confided that he understood the safety message; however, when he got to bluntie school the opening words by the Wg Cdr were 'you can forget this flying and safety lark - your job is pure administration. Nothing more. Nothing less.'

Great message, eh?

To all our Servicemen and women and their support staffs on duty at home and overseas, I hope you have a very peaceful Christmas and New Year. There are many of us now out in civi street that well appreciate what you are going through and doing for us. That message I pass on on behalf of the 22 staff I work with in my civi company...

[tablet_eraser]

Wyler,

What about the trip-hazard your kettle lead might cause to any dwarves who happen to be walking along the desk?

Or the risk that it might get angry and assault the kettle?

Or that it might morph into a mongoose and attack the H&S Officer?

Clearly, you haven't considered the risks. Have you completed the interminable H&S questionnaire from the "Facilities Co-ordinator"? Do you recall the entertaining and valuable H&S brief when you arrived? I was once told that H&S workers are useful and in no way irritating, patronising, and almost totally irrelevant. So it must be true. :hmm:

Are there any H&S officers working on Christmas Day? Or will they all be checking, after they brief their families on kitchen-based potential cheese hazards, that the fluid runs clear from their turkeys, that the sprouts are served at a temperature no lower than 75.223 degrees, and that fire hazard signs are placed around the brandy-soaked Christmas pudding?

:ok:

[BEagle]

Health and Safety Directive:

Father Christmas (FC) will not be visiting any Service establishments unless the following requirements are met:

1. All Service chimneys are to be fitted with full safety harnesses; additionally the property must have passed a full hazard assessment conducted by approved H&S personnel.

2. Sufficient safety helmets, safety glasses and safety boots are to be provided for FC and any accompanying elves requiring entry to Service property.

3. Mince pies are an acceptable gratuity; however, no alcohol is permitted to be offered to FC due to liability issues associated with operating a sleigh whilst inebriated.

4. All reindeer are to be fitted with anti-collison strobe lighting and the sleigh must carry full lighting as prescribed in the relevant Construction and Use Regulations. A single red strobe light fitted to the lead reindeer is insufficient to meet these regulations.

5. FC and any accompanying elves shall at all times wear yellow safety vests when on Service property. Reindeer are exempt from this requirement.

6. FC and any accompanying elves must attend a full Health and Safety briefing before entering Service property. These briefs are held on Wednesday afternoons of even numbered weeks of alternate Leap Years; registration for attendance must be completed at least 6 months in advance using the approved triplicate application form available from Admin Wing between 1130 and 1145 Mon-Thu and 1100-1105 Fri.

[StuartP]

Clearly, you haven't considered the risks. Have you completed the interminable H&S questionnaire from the "Facilities Co-ordinator"?

My sister has just been up to Kashmir with Oxfam, they set up camp in the remains of a concrete building. Before starting work they still had to fill in the H&S questionnaire:

"Are all light and electrical fittings secure and in good order ?"

Apparently they took some finding in the rubble but I am assured the light switches were in pretty good nick when they dug them out. They just weren't fastened to the wall any more.

Regards,

Stuart (irritating etc H&S bod).

[droid3]

t_e: "Are there any H&S officers working on Christmas Day?"

Of course not, they come under 'Spt' Wg. ;)