PDA

View Full Version : Dangers of EMS


miles magistrate
13th Sep 2005, 07:59
Just had this report sent to me from a friend in Canada. He is ex military with serious history so thought you would enjoy. It is a report he sent to his Lord and Masters:

Show Tunes at CBR
- A recent visit by Philippe and I to Cape Breton Regional confirmed that no plans are currently in place to deal with issues relating to psych patients running around loose inside and out of the hospital when the aircraft arrives on the pad. There are three commissionaires on site. One to watch the cameras, one on rounds and one at the helipad. When the aircraft arrives at the helipad, the commissionaire accompanies the medical crew into the hospital. On our recent trip, when Philippe and I entered the hospital at the unattended back door, one of the psych patients (a rather large woodcutter type, about the size of Philippe and I combined) was playing the piano in the cafeteria. (Jerome Kern's, Waltz in Swing Time, I believe it was.) When he spied us entering his spaces, he immediately ceased playing and wandered over for a chat. He welcomed us to Paradise but just after that, his conversation became unintelligible (something resembling the speaking in tongues one might hear at a Southern Pentecostal revival). His voice was high pitched and his eyes rolled back into his over-large head as he spoke. Both Philippe and I put our coins into the vending machine and picked out our favorite twinky bars (both of us secretly hoping that the pianist had been fed recently). After we collected our goodies we made our excuses and departed the cafeteria .at a trot. We quickly made our way back to the relative safety of the helipad. We reasoned that if we were axe-murdered at the helipad, at least it would be on some type of recording media for 72 hours or so. Shortly after our arrival at the pad, the piano musings of Oklahoma could be heard coming from an open window at the back of the hospital. Philippe and I sang along with great relief...

SASless
13th Sep 2005, 08:30
Ever dealt with a Flight Nurse with PMS?

Ever had to put up with a Paramedic with a Type A personality who was bunking with the Chief Flight Nurse?

Axe murderer's are child's play....at least they have the axe to give them away!

The one difference between a flight nurse and an EMS helicopter is that the helicopter quits whining when you get it back to the hospital.:{

air pig
13th Sep 2005, 14:40
SASless.


You have obviously never dealt with either Midwives or Cardiac Surgeons.

The flight nurses and paramedics are just pussycats in comparrison.

:E :E :E :E :E :E

Role1a
13th Sep 2005, 15:13
What about a SAR winchman/Paramedic with a fire axe after you have played conkers with him against a cargo vessel.

DaveyBoy
13th Sep 2005, 15:55
Solution: don't leave your back door unattended if you see a man with a big chopper...

I'll get my coat...