TA Geeks

[heights good]

I have a random and slightly odd request, Iam a member of the superior branch off the British armed forces (air force obviously;) ) However my brother who holds down a rather dull job in civvie street joined the TA 2 years ago to try and "spice up his life a bit." So where is the problem i hear you ask? Well as im sure any of you that have met anybody in the TA realises they have a certain compulsion to tell EVERYBODY what they do, how great they are, how the regular forces cant possibly function without them etc. So what am i after, well im after any websites, books, documents, anecdotes, anything of a spoof nature that can bring him down a peg or 10, before i kill him

Your help is GREATLY appreciated.

Many thanks

Heights good

[Solid Rust Twotter]

Just point a couple of the loons in the NAAFI on ARRSE at him and take cover.

That should strip the enamel off his teeth in short order...:E

[teeteringhead]

I think that Gareth Keenan (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/gareth/) may be just the role model you are looking for.......;)

[Matt Skrossa]

Just call him what every regular calls a TA ... A STAB, Sad TA B*stard!

[engineer(retard)]

Whats the difference between the TA and toast?

You can make a soldier out of toast.

Regards

Retard

[L1A2 discharged]

... and the difference between 1000lb bombs and growbags?




not all bombs are retarded.
:ok:

[PileUp Officer]

There is a good comedy sketch about someone who "used to be in TAs" and kept telling everyone. I believe him and his mates got stranded and then he accidently ended up stabbing one of his mates because he thought he was the enemy.

I'm pretty sure it was early "The League of Gentlemen"

[heights good]

Had a pretty thorough search of the internet, cant seem to find anything like what your describing for the league of gentlemen. Thats exactly the kind of thing im after though. Does anybody else have anything of this kind of nature.

Many thanks in advance

Heights good

[frodo_monkey]

It was definitely in the League of Gentlemen... Made me chuckle a lot!

:}

[Talk Reaction]

Reminds me of the character 'Mike' from Channel 4 series Spaced.....

[heights good]

can anybody remember what episode it was or at least what else happened in the episode. I have started referring to my brother as Gareth, hee hee mild sense of humour failure.

Heights good

[teeteringhead]

There are a number of good exchanges about the TA between David Brent and Gareth in "The Office", which may be easier to find than the League of Gents ... I particularly recall one about sleeping arrangements on exercise ....

[gijoe]

Why not point him in the direction of some of your 'superior force' TA-stylee brethren? To spell it out for the hard of hearing RAuxAF.

There are enough examples in there to illustrate to your brother how mouthing off at every opportunity may bring down the perceived impression of the regular and TA forces.

Superior force....:rolleyes:

[PileUp Officer]

I'm informed his name is Geoff Tips.

No other info but this is him after being stranded in some woods somewhere:

http://www.lunacynet.com/league/images/s2_geoff.jpg

[anotherchopride?!]

League of Gentlemen character is indeed Geoff. Displays a worryingly psychotic streak in just about every episode he features in and shows every symptom of being a social outcast on the edge.

The episode in question involves Geoff and 2 of his colleagues heading off to a conference, running late. Don't worry lads Geoff will find a short-cut through the woods... Cue getting lost, panic and the sensible decision to send one of the party off for help.

Upon the unsuccessful help-hunter's return after nightfall, Geoff in a state of mild hysteria, smacks his oppo over the head with a shovel having mistaken him for some hostile being. Now fearing he is dead Geoff proceeds to bury him. When asked by the remaining party member how they will justify their colleague's disappearance Geoff utters the immortal, inspired explanation: "We'll say wolves did it."

This from either the 1st or 2nd series, def not the 3rd. I think it is the 2nd.

Despite this spotter-like reply, would def imagine Gareth and Brent are the best TA-focussed slagging matches!

[AlanM]

As an ex Regular I joined the RAuxAF for a few years.

Whilst sat in crappy tent in Sennelager, our GLO was reading the Torygraph and I glanced over his shoulder to see a full page ad for the reserve forces which said:

"8 out of 10 employers fully support the reserves" - to which I took great pleasure in reminding our crusty old GLO. He replied:

"You know which two employers hate you reserves..... The Army and Air Force!!!"

He has a point..... :)

:cool:

[Nil nos tremefacit]

Those of us old enough to remember would point your friend at Billy Connolly (ex-TA Paras). He wrote a wonderful song, "Weekend Soldier"

Weekend Soldier
(Billy Connolly)
Chorus:
I am a weekend soldier
And the world is scared of me
I've fought a million battles
And I'm always home in time for tea

When I was just a spotty youth, and tired of being ignored
One day I said to myself, Iain, why are you so bored?
I wanted some adventure, some excitement and some power
So I went to the local Territorials, I joined within the hour

I've been in the army for some time now, even the sausages are nice
Hey, this is the way to see the world, boys - I've been to Edinburgh twice
And all you left-wing radicals, don't give me any of your cheek
And have your demonstration on a Saturday, for I have to work all the week

I've been in the army for three years now, I enjoy playing at the games
And when I put my uniform on I feel like big John Wayne
My camouflage jacket fits me perfectly but the trousers could be improved
I have to take three steps or more before they even start to move

(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)


Connolly discusses the TA at length in a couple of sketches - An Audience With Billy Connolly has a description of an exercise in Cyprus, whilst there is the famous battle umpire:

'Dead'

'No way' (Glaswegian accent)

'I said dead'

etc

[Onan the Clumsy]

Not that I'm a geek or anything, but here's the script (http://www.leagueofgentlemen.co.uk/newepisodelists2ep5.shtml) :8


including Yes! So it looks like a wolf did it! :ok:

[PileUp Officer]

http://www.frostitution.net/gallery/images/spaced/yesssss.gif

[WE Branch Fanatic]

Easy to laugh - but how exactly would the Armed Forces cope without the Reserves?