You Have A Week [Archive]

Specaircrew

31st Mar 2005, 12:55

1. Stop wasting money on female aircrew who get pregnant 6 months into their first tour.

2. With the money saved from item 1 recruit a bevy of attractive young women to act as typists. This would not only allow chaps to abandon their desks to go flying but would also provide the singlies with willing 'dates' for the Summer Ball!

3. Disband the Telephone Answering Branch, I'm sure they mean well but it doesn't really work does it?

4. Stop wasting time and money on political correctness unless you want re christen us the 'Are We Allowed To Do That' ? Force.

5 Allow service personnel to park within a reasonable walking distance of their place of work instead of giving priority to hire cars, workmen, gay disabled mothers etc.:D

althenick

31st Mar 2005, 13:03

KPAX

Ok i'll bite since yours looks like a serious post.

1. Scrap A400M

What would you replace the hercs with?

2. Scrap new carriers

1/2 agree with this one - A couple of wasp class type LHD's would do the job for STOVL a/c but if the UK went with CATOBAR then we need them (I'm assuming your RAF - well after the Falklands adventure I think it would be wise to have them dont you?)

3. All BritMil air assets under RAF control

HA HA HA HA HA HA - God your a comedian! do you know how much that would cost? 1st off the AAC - 90% non-comm aircrew so you'd have to commision all of them (Well the ones who didn't tell the RAF to foxtrot oscar - would be interesting to see how many would) any way that = £££££. Then there's the WAFU's. Absorb them into the RAF and the assets and all of a sudden you'd have a retention problem with guys and girls not wanting to go to sea. The spotty teenagers wont want to join the RAF for the same reason. Unless you meant equipment only in which case it may be a sound idea.

4. Buy more C17's

Now thats a good idea! and if we could expand the order for JSF then that would be nice too

5. Move Valley to Akrotiri

Why? - From what my Brother tells me, its a sh1thole. Or are you a sun worshipper?????

serf

31st Mar 2005, 14:16

get some personnel who can spell, then get rid of the'fat'. too many people seem to spend their time on pprune, can't have enough work to do !;)

FORMER PIONEER

31st Mar 2005, 14:23

Here's an idea..............

Why not transfer everyone over to the Fleet Air Arm, and see how the other half live/work. Then, once the Crabs realise what a cushty life they lead and how little work they do, and how well they are supported, they may stop whinging about their lot in life. One week after being onboard, allow them the option of returning to the RAF. Everyone jumps ship (quite literally), and they are all happy again.

.......................................just a thought?

(Now running for cover, awaiting the inevitable backlash......)

RubiC Cube

31st Mar 2005, 15:28

The RN started doing this a couple of years ago, but with a smaller team getting together for a week and presenting their results to the Navy Board. Don't know whether it's still happening or if it has produced any results though.

Bismark

31st Mar 2005, 15:38

Give all Strike and Maritime a/c to RN.
Give all support helos and tactical lift to the Army.
Give Refuellers and Strategic transport to Virgin.

Let's face it we are almost there already:

All decent strike a/c will operate from CVF and be guaranteed a pretty invulnerable airfield near the scene of action.
All Support helos are already with the Army
Maritime a/c are intuitively with the RN as are SAR.

16 blades

31st Mar 2005, 16:24

Give ALL air assets to the professional aviators (RAF), not Soldiers or Sailors with a part-time aviation hobby and a small flying club.

Don't put expensive and capable assets on an airfield that can sink. (invulnerable? Yes, so was the Titanic...)

WTF do the Navy know about operating a Strike ac, or mud-moving in general anyway?

16B

Jimlad

31st Mar 2005, 16:40

"Don't put expensive and capable assets on an airfield that can sink. (invulnerable? Yes, so was the Titanic...)"

How many carriers have been sunk or heavily damaged enough to withdraw in combat operations since the end of WW2? Try zero.

How many fixed airbases have been attacked and aircraft facilities destroyed in same timescale? Try lots.

Grimweasel

31st Mar 2005, 17:06

1) Give serving personnel generous tax breaks when serving abroard and at war (Like our Allies get!!)

2) Stop ripping the serving bods off in all locations abroard with those disgusting NAAFI / EFI prices..."its not my fault Im here in Iraq / Falklands. Don't give me the bull that you have paid extra shipping costs to get it here as more often than not its down the back of our aircraft / ship in to theatre!!"

3) Assure us that our pensions will be safe from tinkering. Look at the poor civil service who thought the same only to have theirs reduced from final salary to average earnings throughtout career this year.

4) Have a reporting system that instead of blowing smoke up your ar$e tells you exactly what is wrong with you or what you have to do to be promoted!! Ditch all the smoke and mirrors and just be blunt and to he point.

5) Buy kit off the shelf that works TODAY not some UK job protecting cr@p thats 10 years too late and out dated!

L1A2 discharged

31st Mar 2005, 18:07

hmmmmmn, single role?

lets see, spec ground support to all assets from blue suits, gbad - going to RA but watch and wait, blue assistance to AAC increasing to backfill gaps, dark blue poaching techies to backfill gaps not saying thats all, just a few

Impiger

31st Mar 2005, 18:15

Jimlad

You are of course correct but then again if you will place the ships so far away from the action that they become known as the Simonstown Guardship in the Falklands War or the Corfu Guardship during Allied Force what do you expect. Then again your flat(ish) tops didn't exactly show up for either Gulf War and quite frankly only seem prepared to play when the enemy are armed with nothing more dangerous than an over-ripe mango!

KPax

31st Mar 2005, 18:40

ALTHENICK -

1. C130J & C17

2. Britain will never go to a major conflict again without one of it's major allies, quote from Parliament 3-4 years ago

3. Do pilots have to be Comissioned

4.

5. Uninterrupted flying training, although the terrain is not as good.

cyrus

31st Mar 2005, 19:28

Like the NHS:

Item 1: More money

Item 2: More money

Item 3: More money

Item 4: More money

Item 5: Yeh - right - More money

SRENNAPS

31st Mar 2005, 19:36

1. Bring back Bruggen

2. Bring back Laarbruch

3. Bring back Gut

4. Bring back Wildenwrath.

5. BRING BACK RAFG.

We had a sense of pride and purpose then.

And dont say we dont need it, the Army and the Yanks are still there. We did not need to be the first to leave.

Oggin Aviator

31st Mar 2005, 19:43

Scrap the RAF, RN and Army. Give all the money to the soapdodgers, immigrants, criminals and those that couldnt be arsed to work at school.

Oh - its sort of happening now

althenick

31st Mar 2005, 20:11

KPAX

Britain will never go to a major conflict again without one of it's major allies, quote from Parliament 3-4 years ago

Didn't Healy say something like that in '66????

Cost a lot of lives that descision. You saw/heard what happened to the MoD over that guy that died for the want of a Flak Jacket. What's going to happen when a ship get's sunk for the want of decent air defence?

The Uk's government have stated the above....

The Argentiean Government have stated that they will pursue a peacefull solution to the Malvinas problem

.... Note in both cases its THE POLITICIANS that have made these statements. And we all know the worth of a politicians word dont we? :mad:

sittingstress

31st Mar 2005, 23:48

SRENNAPS

I totally agree with regards to RAFG. Station exercises are a waste of time according to some. I wonder how many OC Admin Wgs there are floating about the place that could competently assume their traditional role of OC Ground Defence of a frontline flying unit?

I also have asked myself that since the closure of RAFG how many juniors have the experience to be effective in the guarding role? Some may say it is easy, as an ex TACEVAL DS I can say that for the majority it was not. The strength of RAFG was the MINEVAL, MAXEVAL and the TACEVAL.

I know my opinion is not popular in this day and age and it is easy to be a WIWIRAFG type bod but the attitude there was oustanding. The Ops types Operated, the Support types Supported and the Eng types Engineered. All of this engendered the RAFG ethos and in summary that meant "We Can Do" at ALL levels and as a maxim that Can Do turned into a Did Do.

I know I will be shouted at now bt with a skin full of Mess champagne I rest my case.

Good night Gentlemen and Ladies!

PS Despite the vicious rivalries we stil drank lager bier together!!

L1A2 discharged

1st Apr 2005, 01:00

1. Bring back a full taceval regime
2. Let us all practice whilst we can for what we may be called upon to do, if thats low level bombed up and dangerous so be it,
3. Man us for the task, or task us for the manning
4. If you are not actually on ops wear whatever the recognition colour for your service is
5. Stop the unknowing from controlling the knowing

SRENNAPS

1st Apr 2005, 05:50

sittingstress

Oh how I so agree with you.

I have always had the opinion that when the last "RAFG" station, RAF Bruggen, closed (and I was there), we did not just loose another RAF Station - We Lost a Culture.

It was a culture of pride and meaning. Whether it was at work or at one of the many social occasions that took place, the majority of people GENUINELY enjoyed themselves and felt part of something.

The Can Do Attitude out weighed the negative attitude. Leadership supported everybody at all levels and this led to “real” high morale within the community instead of “pretending” high morale made in a political statement.

I am starting to waffle on, but unless you experienced life in RAFG, you can never understand what I mean. It was a huge loss that can never be replaced by any “5 ideas that would make the RAF a better force”

Maple 01

1st Apr 2005, 06:56

If you're going to bring back RAFG can we have Gatow back too please? I see the 'Dutch airforce' types like SRENNAPS didn't mention us, Mind you I always knew those down the zone had forgotten us on the real front-line!;)

Gainesy

1st Apr 2005, 07:20

1. Bring back a full taceval regime

When was this phased out?

Seriously, I'm astonished if units no longer have MiniVal, MaxiVal and TacEval. It wasn't just RAFG had 'em BTW, every station did. Well. every flying station. (That bloody siren).:(

As for the main point of the thread, there's still six days to have a think...

L1011GE

1st Apr 2005, 08:48

5 Allow service personnel to park within a reasonable walking distance of their place of work instead of giving priority to hire cars, workmen, gay disabled mothers etc

I guess then you are one of us at Brize on either 216 or the binary sqn

Bismark

1st Apr 2005, 12:20

16 Blades,

From my memory in service the reason the RN and Army appeared, from the RAF point of view, to be a"small flying clubs" is because they manned their organisation with the minimum number of HQ staffs and avoided the PTC/STC growth machine. In addition I suspect that if youtot up the Army holdings they nearly match the RAF for a/c numbers.

Finally, my buddies still serving tell me that the RN FJ guys are turning out to be pretty good mud-movers and can be trained in half the time - anyway did the FAA not always win the bombing competition?

Finally, finally, I seem to recall it is only the FAA who have shot down an enemy a/c in anger since WW2. So itseems pretty clear to me that FJ a/c operating from survivable moving airfields and flown by the FAA seems to be a good option.

Icarusthesecond

1st Apr 2005, 14:03

Five ways to make the RAF better................

Give the FJs to the Navy

Give the SH force to the Army

Let Branson do most of the transport

Get rid of that horrible mess kit

Remove slot machines from the mess

Running for cover:ok:

Tourist

1st Apr 2005, 14:46

16 blades,
you wrote:

"Give ALL air assets to the professional aviators (RAF), not Soldiers or Sailors with a part-time aviation hobby and a small flying club."

Donning my psychanalysts head, I note that you felt the need to clarify the professional aviator comment with the embracketed "RAF"
I see some possible conclusions from this, lie back on my couch.

1. Best Case.

You are aware that the words "RAF" and "professional" being used in the same sentence is tantamount to contravention of the trade descriptions act. You are using self-deprecating sarcastic humour and are therefore vastly too advanced for the banter level of your service. Congratulations, you are sane. If you are also able to fly competently, feel free to join the FAA.

2. You are aware that the words "RAF" and "professional" being used in the same sentence is considered by those not in the RAF as being tantamount to contravention of the trade descriptions act. You however persist in your delusions of service adequacy despite all the evidence. This I am calling the Melchett case. (a blind unwillingness too look facts in the face will see us through!)

3. Sad Case.

You are not in the RAF. This would explain your obvious misunderstanding of their capabilities. All your knowledge has been garnered from a dogeaten copy of a Commando comic found in grandads potting shed. Does your mummy know you are able to sign on to the PC?

:p

An Teallach

1st Apr 2005, 15:48

Aah jolly dee! A fish-head / TWA / crab p!ssing match. Should make for some fun posts once folk trickle out of happy hour to dribble beer on their keyboards.

Running away bravely to the pub for IPA and Lagavulin before the incoming hits!

SRENNAPS

1st Apr 2005, 16:18

Maple 01

My Sincere apologies,

I must admit I did forget Gatow last night. I can’t understand why cause I tried desperately to get posted there after my first tour at Bruggen finished. For one reason or another I never managed to get to Berlin in those early days.

Then I did some time in UK and they pulled the bloody wall down???? Whose idea was that then?

I’m convinced to this day it was all a plot to stop me riding on the “Berlin Train”
:{ :\

moggiee

12th Dec 2005, 09:46

In reply to icarusthesecond:

Why not merge the FAA and AAC into the RAF as was done in 1918? The whole point of the RAF wa to stop pongos and fishheads going where God never intended they should!

Agree with getting Branson to do the AT, and banning slot machines (they cost so much money when you're pissed at happy hour!) and

Bob Viking

12th Dec 2005, 10:28

If we're going to start that argument again, maybe you should re-read your moth-eaten copy of Sharky Wards' book again and check to see the name (and service) of the guy who claimed the first kill in the Falklands, and the names of those that claimed the rest. Might surprise you.
The FAA FJ's can't really claim to have done much since then though can they!!
BV:E

PTR 175

12th Dec 2005, 10:46

Improve the quality of life of everyone in the Forces and not just the RAF.

Better accomodation for all. Make the forces move into the 20th Century would be a start, let alone the 21st century. retention is poor, you only need to spend a few mins walking around any service camp to see the state of some of them. The police dogs live better. I have just been to a unit where the work force have no telephones, no running water, and the nearest toilet for anybody below SNCO is about a 15 min walk away. All contary to the Shops and factory act.

Just treat everyone like adults would be a useful starting point.

Onan the Clumsy

12th Dec 2005, 13:54

Get rid of the Tornado, the Jaguar, that new thingie and also the Sea Harrier. Then re-equip with Spitfires. Thousands of them. Think how many Spits you could buy for one Tornado and you wouldn't even have to pay people to fly them.

Also a few Lancasters in case the natives get a bit restless and a handfull of Short Sunderlands.

Also one Vulcan :ok:

FOMere2eternity

12th Dec 2005, 15:21

1. Advertise some sort of photocall like 'big brew up' and fire the people who show up in uniform as they're clearly not busy enough during the working week.

2. Make stupid ideas a sackable offence, or at least resultant in a forfeit like 'next for OOA'. This would deter morons with nothing better to do like the Rucksack Policy Desk. PEd staff, whilst not necessarily responsible for the OFT, are guilty by association.

3. Make all officers serve 1yr in the ranks with the option to fire anyone who turns out to be a w@nker - we can be selective nowadays yet too many still manage to bluff it until we're stuck with them...

4. Perhaps, just perhaps, look at our end product - a flying aircraft - and work backwards who we need to keep and who we can afford to civilianise. Controversial I know...

Widger

12th Dec 2005, 15:49

First the bite........

16 Blades WTF was this then?

http://www.btinternet.com/~a.c.walton/navy/faa/bucc-s1.jpg

Getting serious then.

No1. Produce a document called something like Personnel Functional Standards, that could include all your entitlements like leave, minimum time in UK etc. This document could then be reported on so that the Airships could see at a glance who was being seen off.

No2. Institute a core working week for those in units that deploy often.

No3. Improve the posting process. Promote people all at once in a yearly signal, then they pick up that promotion 6 months later. This gives those lucky persons 6 months to sort their lives/homes out. It also means that everyone that is unlucky knows that the clock is back ticking.

No4. Improve the posting process by instigating an Officer's Appointment List, that is published weekly, tells those posted where they are going and can be used as authority for travel/ allowances etc.

No5. Do not treat your aircrew like gods but just as another weapon system.

No6. Have some Senior Officers with the balls to take some risk for the future good of the service. Medium term heartache for long term gain. Let everyone know what your vision is.

No7. Don't keep your good Officers/SNCOs hanging on in the last couple of years of service, wondering if they are going to have a job or not in 2006/7. A better offer will come along and they will jump ship. Identify your bright people and signify their worth by giving them the security of extensions of service/assimilation.

No8. Do not promote people too early, they will end up as your policy makers and have a very good chance of making a hash of it. (Bar a few!) You will have already have shown them you love them by giving extensions of service etc.

No9. Have a uniform that you can be proud of, minimise the glossy brochures and rucksacks that just make people living in a tent, think that you are wasting the money, that they think should be spent on guns etc.

Alternatively leave the RAF join the RN and get all of the above!

:ok: :ok:

endplay

12th Dec 2005, 15:56

As the Air Force Board Liaison Team has just been closed down, shades of "shooting the messenger" here perhaps, methinks you are whistling in the wind if you suggest anything that:

a. Costs money
b. Raises morale
c. Makes any kind of sense at all

DaveyBoy

12th Dec 2005, 22:41

No5. Do not treat your aircrew like gods but just as another weapon system.
I think most RAF aircrew must have been Otherwise Engaged when the "treating like Gods" thing happened. Perhaps with the caveat "unless you're a civvie in Stores who doesn't give a s**te what kit the troops get to go to war with" you'd be getting somewhere...
No6. Have some senior officer's [sic] ... Let everyone know waht your vision is.
Can't speak for the rest of my service, but I am well aware of what my Senior Officers' Visions are. How they think they're going to achieve them within the timeframe and budget they have... well... that would be nice to know :-)

glum

13th Dec 2005, 02:48

1. Ditch PFI from the vocabulary.

2. Keep decision makers in post more than two years, so once they've learned how to do their job they get a sufficient time to do it.

3. Make decisions on time, rather than delaying them until you're backed into a corner and have to buy whats available, not whats best.

4. Learn to say no.

5. Learn to communicate properly with our Army and Navy brethren.

Bob Viking

13th Dec 2005, 08:12

You seem typical of many of your Navy brethren.
I have lost count of the number of posts on this forum from Navy men saying how cr@p the Air Force is and how amazing the Navy is. It sounds to me like you're the one that needs convincing. I'm perfectly happy with my lot, as I hope you are, but you're beginning to sound a little desperate!
BV:E

Widger

13th Dec 2005, 09:19

BV,

I did not say that the Air Farce was cr@p, far from it. I have immense respect for the Light Blue but, having spent 6 years on and off serving in Light Blue units, I see and hear at first hand where some of the discontent lies.

The RAF used to have a very good reputation for looking after their people well. I think that corporate care may have slipped over the last decade and I am proud to say that the 2SL organisation has done much to improve the lot of the Dark Blue against significant treasury pressure.

I agree that all is not well in all three Services, mainly due to financial pressures. This is why it is important for those at the top to communicate to the lowest common denominator, why they are getting grief and why their short term pain, will pay off in the end.

Or maybe I am being a liitle naive......probably, but I also have a responsibility to be upbeat!

:ok: :ok: