This Has Got to be Quote of the Century

[FJJP]

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion - you'll leave a lot of loud, aggravating noise behind."

Jed Babbin
Former deputy undersecretary of defense in the first Bush administration

[Samuel]

The same quote is also attributed to Norman Schwartzkopf!

[Training Risky]

And Donald Rumsfeld.

[Last call for Mr..]

Out of the two, I know who I'd rather go to war with.

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Staying on a lighter note, I like...

You know the world has gone mad when -

The best golfer is black
The best rapper is white
The Germans are refusing to go to war
and the French are accusing the USA of arrogance


On a more serious note, I prefer the quote of Chirac to the USA

'We are your friends, and your friends will tell you when you are wrong'

I think history will be the judge

[SilsoeSid]

Also attributed to Ken Adelman, former UN ambassador.

Was that "quote of the century" this century or last?

[Samuel]

My little book of essential militaria contains numerous similar quotes, but the one I like best is this:

"I thought he was talking about our mess bill": made by an anonymous RAF pilot upon hearing Churchill's speech containing the lines 'Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few'.

[16 blades]

My favourite, attributed to various US Generals, believed to have been uttered recently during TWOT. On the subject of forgiveness for terrorists:

We don't do forgiveness; that's God's department. We just arrange the meeting.....

Priceless.

16B

[average pilot]

I like one that also fits into the famous last words category;

American General looking through binoculars at enemy troops in the distance........"They couldn't hit an elephant at that dist"

[totalwar]

Harold - "If that bloke isn't careful he'll have someone's eye out with that"

[Capt Hollywood]

Watching the local news the other night and the weather reporter finishes his report by saying that "The rain will disappear tomorrow afternoon, unless it redevelops"

S'pose it's one way to guarantee accuracy!

Hollywood :cool:

[BEagle]

Not as good as the rather nice TV weather-wench who once said live on TV:

"Snow hasn't yet started to fall, but I'm expecting a good six inches later tonight!"

[petitfromage]

A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening ear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn.

[Talking Radalt]

Run up to GW2 (when the garlic-munchers were trying to block the US/UK invasion):

"Let's face it, the French don't even contemplate military action until the Germans are sipping coffee in the cafes of Paris"

:E

[Safeware]

oops, jumped too far down :) and posted alomst the same as someone else. To make up for it:

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Petronius Arbiter, 210BC

and still true today

[West Coast]

"Snow hasn't yet started to fall, but I'm expecting a good six inches later tonight!"

So waddya do Beag's, give it to her 3 times to fulfill your promise of 6 inches???

[BEagle]

Whatever - but it wasn't the Navy Way....:p

[TurbineTooHot]

One from Clint

"Be advised, I'm mean nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I could a round through a fleas ass at 300 yards. So why don't you hump somebody else's leg mutt-face before I push yours in."


Heartbreak Ridge, what a film!

[Incipient Sinner]

TTH,

If you're gonna steal quotes from films, attributed to actors who just read them from the script then please try and make sure they're correct and complete.

Sir Winston Churchill said some astute things in his time, I think this may always be apt:

"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events."

[West Coast]

Beagle

I heard the RN is one of the most gay friendly employers in the UK. Makes SFO look down right hetero.

[hobie]

Just reading this quote from a story over on R&N ....

A spokesperson for the airline said the plane's rudder "partially fell off."
http://epgv1.europeanprescriberguide.com/rudder.htm

[Zoom]

Sorry, hobie, but that should have been filed under 'Understatement of the Century'.

[Showtime100]

Personal favourite quote was from the Inquiry into the SAS shootings of IRA Terrorists on Gibraltar in the late 80s.

Lawyer to SAS Man: "Why did you shoot the suspect 32 times?

SAS Man: " I ran out of bullets..."

Glorious.

[SASless]

Is there any wrong way to kill a terrorist?

[BootFlap]

SASless

Is there any wrong way to kill a terrorist?

Yes!

1. Missing!
2. Stopping before the job is done (Quality Assurrance should pick this one up)
3. Using the MOD newsletters as a cosh (paper far too flimsy and tends to get slippy when covered in sweat from your exertions).

Hope this helps!!!!

:D

[BANANASBANANAS]

German exchange officer at Brize in 80s while on TACEVAL and everything is going wrong ... as usual.

"Now I know vy you British are so good in wartime. In peacetime you practice chaos!"

Same guy milling around WH Smiths in LHR with a shiny 10 crew about to depart to BAH on a BA Tristar and looking for some reading material for the flight. Exchange Officer has a large hardbound copy of the Battle of Britain in his hands and calls over to very new and about to be very embarrassed air eng.

"Hey, Eng come and look at this....its a very good book.......very sad ending!"

[Whipping Boy's SATCO]

Overhead on the range:

"Look Scroggins I'm not expecting a DH, anywhere in Pembrokeshire would suit me"

[yeoman]

(Approximately) "Hearts and minds? I'm not interested in winning their hearts and minds. Grab 'em by the balls and their hearts and minds have no choice but to follow"

Westmoreland ? Vietnam:hmm:

[Archimedes]

Yeoman, I believe it is generally attributed to Chuck Colson, Nixon's Chief of Staff at the White House.

[ChristopherRobin]

Showtime100 said:

Personal favourite quote was from the Inquiry into the SAS shootings of IRA Terrorists on Gibraltar in the late 80s.

Lawyer to SAS Man: "Why did you shoot the suspect 32 times?

SAS Man: " I ran out of bullets..."

Glorious.

...err not exactly! In true Private Eye pedantry I have to refer you to Eyes passim, in this case Eye 698 where similar stuff was on the cover (http://www.strobes.uklinux.net/698/)!

Hardly a quote from a lawyer reprinted on the front page as it would surely have been considered sub judice at the time? I don't know though, being an urban legend spotter rather than a lawyer.

So. Shome mishtake surely?

Yours boringly

CR

[MajorMadMax]

My little book of essential militaria contains numerous similar quotes, but the one I like best is this:

"I thought he was talking about our mess bill": made by an anonymous RAF pilot upon hearing Churchill's speech containing the lines 'Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few'.
Not sure if it is the original source, but I believe that line was uttered by one of the characters (Hurricane pilots during the BoB) in Derek Robinson's outstanding novel Piece of Cake.

Cheers! M2

[Showtime100]

CR,

Fair enough, I am happy to stand corrected by your thorough and somewhat overzealous knowledge of Private Eye Covers.

Nevertheless I still think its a great quote and it made me chuckle.

Showtime100

[ChristopherRobin]

<shoves glasses up nose> fair enough!

[oh-oh]

Mayor of Hiroshima 1945:

"What the **** was that?"

:D

[lineslime]

From a certain OC Eng, mentioned on another thread, to a group of Americans.

The lean process has been implemented at Ly****m and is working perfectly well.

If memory serves me the move was taking place on that day and the shambles was about to start.

[Golf Charlie Charlie]

"So how did you enjoy Dallas, Mrs Kennedy ?"

or

"So how did you enjoy the theatre, Mrs Lincoln ?"

[WE Branch Fanatic]

Mine is the first generation able to contemplate the possibility that we may live our entire lives without going to war or sending our children to war.

Tony Blair. :* :{

[Leprechaun]

Deutsch Marine Pilot, Lief, on Exchange doing JEFTS at Barkston Heath three years ago, whilst flying a NAVEX round Lincolnshire:

"Vy are zer so many old Airfields in zis area?"

Err........

[pshakey]

'The problem with aircrew is that they think the Air Force revolves around aeroplanes.'

An actual quote from the RAF Bruggen Families Officer (c.1995), about 10s before he hit the floor of the Officers' Mess Bar.

[ChristopherRobin]

...because as everyone knows, Aircrew actually think the world revolves around them.

How out of touch was that guy?

[BEagle]

Chief DOE bloke at Valley when I was there was an amiable ex-Halifax skipper who had parted company with said beast over Germany one dark night.

But he and his wife developed a friendship with the locals of the city in question after the war, having gone back to talk things over.

A few years later they were visiting Munich around the time of the Olympics as guests of the friendly Germans. DOE chap's wife was much taken by all the work which had been done for the Olympics as she exclaimed "What a beautiful, modern city with so many attractive new buildings!"

"Ach, Ja", replied their host, "But your husband voz our chief town planner!".

Ve DO haff a sense of humour!

And another flash of German humour:

Just after the wall came down and the borders opened, hordes of Trabbis poured over with their enthusiastic occupants keen to escape from the greyness of East Germany. Now, had this been the UK it would have been like Glastonbury without the music; hundreds of people camped in mud and squalor looking pretty desperate. But, of course, this was Germany. Everyone was checked in, processed and given somewhere warm and dry in a transit camp before going on to their destinations. I asked a German mate how they'd done this - was this some grand Op Order which had been written years before just waiting to be put into effect? Or just German efficiency.

"Ach, it voss neither, really. You see........ve Tchermans know a thing or two about camps" he said in a cartoon accent!

[gravity victim]

My dad had the privilege of showing Mick Martin of Dambusters and 617 fame around Hamburg, when he was commencing his final posting running (I think) the RAF's German operations. Peering out of the limo at the gleaming, prosperous city with its extensive open spaces, he uttered the immortal words "Dja know, I reckon I've done wonders to improve the inner-city parking facilities around here." ;)

[BEagle]

One of my German Airbus chums was bemoaning the lack of car parking at the Finkenwerder facility.

One not to be missed, that was...

"Would you like me to have a word with Bomber Command for you?", I asked......

[pr00ne]

pshakey,

"about 10s before he hit the floor of the Officers' Mess bar"

er, presumably, if this is true, then also about thirty seconds before the end of someones career?

[Surditas]

I once heard about a Prussian General of the nineteenth century who was seated upon his horse observing a battle. His staff were also mounted nearby when a junior officer next to the General was shot in the head spattering the General. The General calmly removed a handkerchief and, as he wiped the gore off his jacket, remarked "I never realised Schmidt had so much brains"

[pshakey]

pr00ne,

Strangely enough, despite there being a bar full of people, nobody saw a thing. Strange eh? ;)

[BEagle]

Or the hideous Mrs Doubtfire* in the Malvinas who returned a Flight Safety meeting calling notice on which she'd scrawled "Nothing to do with Admin Wg".......


* also know as the Money Monster, whose stinginess at Ellsworth during Prairie Vortex was legendary. And I gather that her 'Pig Pot' reached something well over $500 until some wag promised to split it with her 50/50 so long as 'the deed' was not committed!

[foldingwings]

Cheers! M2

Surely that should be M3! MajorMadMax?

Just asking!