Appraisal Phrase Book

[SirToppamHat]

Seeking opinions.

Following book found in office being discussed by a couple of JOs:

Performance Appraisal Phrase Book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580629407/qid=1106596516/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_11_1/026-8469237-7890012) .

I am sure there are several of these doing the rounds. Any views on the efficacy, appropriateness or other comments?

Some people believe this is cheating, whilst others take the view that anything that helps the RO put their thoughts into words can only improve the quality of their report writing.

Most of the phrases struck me as being a bit 'Americanized', and 'Management Speak', but it struck me that a version for the Armed Forces could be a money spinner, or perhaps such a document should be provided?

Your thoughts?

STH

[Hueymeister]

How about this then...

' I would not trust this man to sit down on the toilet the right way around' And I'm reliably told it went off station that way too. Bless him, the individual concerned actually agreed!!!!!!!!!!!

[Synthetic]

Idle curiosity - what does "Should be given a very demanding secondary duty" mean?

[jwcook]

Here' a nice phrase "consistantly fails to achieve the low standards he sets himself" or " he has finally managed to lower my expectations of him to a level, at which, even he can perform..."

Cheers

[Audax]

Old chestnuts:-

I would hesitate to breed from this officer

This officer will go through life pulling doors marked push

Keeping this officer in the RAF is depriving the village of it's idiot

I would follow this officer, but only out of curiosity

This officer has the morals of a dog but lacks the loyalty

[PerArdua]

My annual appraisal interview 2 years ago stated that ' I didn't suffer fools gladly and unfortunately I judged my Senior Management to be fools' Harsh but true!!!:

[Melchett01]

Or how about:

This man would be out of his depth in a puddle;

The only time she opens her mouth it is to change the foot that was in there originally;

This officer hit rock bottom and has now begun to dig;

Or one of my favourites.....

This man has used my ship for the sole purpose of transporting his testicles half way around the world

:E

[StopStart]

From an ACR of a few years back....

It would be fair to say that X is a very funny man. Indeed, he has the comic wit and timing that any stand-up comedian would be proud of.
Sadly, being a comedian isn't a prerequisite for being a good co-pilot.

Cheers sir.....

[FatBaldChief]

My favourites include the following-

With regards to a JNCO RAF Policeman -
'Unfortunatley Cpl **** is less reliable than his dog'

'Cpl ***** believes that all women are put on this earth for his own personal use'

''A badly drawn airman' is how JT *****'s appearance could best be described'


:8

[Ray Dahvectac]

As one who once received the ACR comment: "Does not suffer fools" (tempered at the debrief by the RO's admission that "I was going to add 'gladly', but on reflection I decided that you do not suffer them full stop."), I would just add my favourite 'Appraisal Phrase':
"XXXXXXX is like an untrained gundog: incredibly keen but absolutely useless".

[charliegolf]

When he starts the engine this man sets in train a chain of events over which he has no further control.

or

...sets himself abysmally low standards which he consistently fails to achieve.

[SirToppamHat]

From an ACR of mine in the bad old days of closed reporting:

"(SirToppamHat) would make an excellent ADC, if only he were Tall and Slim."

I found this out during a 'career brief', when the Posting Officer started reading one of my ACRs to herself and suddenly burst out laughing. I forced her to tell me what it was she found so amusing. As far as I know, the original line didn't go on to say:

"...and female and blonde."

[BOAC]

From a Cranwell QFI's report:
"This student is incapable of doing two things at once, and since he HAS to breathe.............."

[BEagle]

We once had a chap who was accused by his Flt Cdr (a total tosser) of having "Unofficer-like bone structure"....

True!

Another pompous fart wrote that "Bloggs is one of nature's bachelors", thinking that his oh-so witty prose meant that Bloggs hooted and roared, rooted and whored as a carefree singly. But what he'd actually written was a Victorian soubriquet which meant "Bloggs is a poof"

'Bloggs', having had the benefit of a better education than the ex-grammar school oik writing about him, was naturally pretty pissed off!

[The Burning Bush]

Yes, very good so far........ but in answer to STH's original question - I have to admit to using a variant of said publication (US), and yes it did help, and no, I didn't consider it cheating. Although, I did think the trick was to take the stock phrases as stimulus to form better yourself!

[SASless]

From an Officer Efficiency Report (OER) from my US Army days....CW2 Dogface is an excellent worker when chased down and cornered.

[Ali Barber]

From a flying assesment at Valley:

QFI wrote "This student is gash".

CFI returned it with the comment "please use correct English!!"

QFI changed report to read: "This student are gash!!"

[ORAC]

"xxxx has the appearance of a sicilian organ grinder and the morals of his monkey".

[BEagle]

UAS QFIs had to complete 'Progress, Attitude and Technique' assessments on their students...

One of my little beggars failed to turn up for the entire first term I was on the UAS even though he had no exuse. He didn't even turn up to Training Nights. Come 'PAT' time, I merely wrote "Who?"

The CFI returned it and told me to re-write more... So I wrote "Who is APO Bloggs? He has yet to introduce himself to his QFI. He has made no progress at all this term. His attitude is questionable, his technique unassessable".

He was booted out the next day!

[G Fourbee]

A fellow Chipmoth QFI wrote of Bloggs - "holds the control column like a King Cobra (that is, if he would hold a King Cobra like I would hold a King Cobra)!" Later in the course, same instructor observed "is making friends with the King Cobra!"

[adr]

Maybe we could compile our own version.

I'll start. Format: What you mean - What you write. Might be helpful (but less funny) if we offer positive phrases as well as negative ones?

Lazy sod - [n] is deeply committed to the principle of the conservation of effort.

Top bloke - [n] is well-respected by all who know him.

Notorious drunkard - [n] is renowned for the generous contributions to mess funds that accrue from his [her] full use of its liquid refreshments.

Never drops his [her] mates in the sh*t - [n] has a proven loyalty to his [her] colleagues.

adr

[Skeleton]

Or.........

"I would follow this officer only because I was born with a sense of curiosity"

[XFTroop]

An actual quote from a post flight report on an aquaintance during his early days on a UAS ( Chipmunk days!!):


"Bloggs tends to breathe heavily when he is trying to land the aircraft."

and after the next sortie:

" Have joined Bloggs in breathing heavily when he's trying to land the aircraft."

:cool:

[The Rocket]

How about

"****** is a cheerful young man, with a pleasant smile and a co-operative manner. At this point his good qualities cease"

"He is employed as a VDU operator. He spends most of his time operating a VDU"

"His woeful expression gives him the air of a cocker spaniel who has just recieved bad news"

"A family illness recently caused her Falklands detachment to be cancelled, and to her credit she never allowed her personal problems to interfere with her service commitments":confused:

:D

[insty66]

My personal favorites are
"A beer drinking swashbuckling full member of the Air Force, the kind you would select when the going gets tough........has been very useful teaching our new recruits the ins and outs of service life" This was backed up by the originator of the report whose additional comment was "She's a real man"!!!!!


also



"he must as a matter of urgency learn to control his tendency , when off duty to attack RAF policemen"



I have more but lack the typing patience to post. I'm looking for a scanner!!

[Aynayda Pizaqvick]

Here are some pre OJAR excerpts from the RN Form S206 doing the rounds...

"This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts the better"

"This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be"

"This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar"

"He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age"

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there"

"He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction"

"He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle"

"Technically sound, but socially impossible"

"This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope- always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere"

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"

"When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably"

"The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship"

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"

[Pontius Navigator]

And the REAL advice.

Usually performs his duties to a satisfactoru standard - meaning from time to time he drops me in it AND that was a 4.

[Mac the Knife]

and from the medical world...

"Dr. Xxxx tells me that he has been a Senior Medical Officer on my unit for the last six months. During that time he has performed his duties to his entire satisfaction."

[Capt H Peacock]

F O Kite shoots from the hip. If only he removed the pistol from its holster, he would avoid shooting himself in the foot.

He talks down to people he considers inferior, I find this most annoying.

He is a habitual liar, on his last sortie he said 'I have control' when he clearly didn't.:D

[TechyFilth]

As to Topic, I have read the books and found them of limited use if you want to convey your meaning in plain english. However, we seem to be employing more and more people who speak buz-geek and this is depressing enough without being battered with it in your ACR.

Otherwise, a favorite of mine from a deep dark past was:

"If TF had joined the Air Farce in the 60's he would probably have received an SR for promotion at this stage of his tour! However, times change and the standards of behaviour that we expect from our JO's (sic) has moved on somewhat."

TF:ok:

[exEngO]

One of mine that got through:

"JT ?????? is known by the innaccurate acronym 'FLUB' as while he is certainly fat, he is far from lazy, anything but useless and definately not of questionable descent "

It was one of those 'You're Spec Reccing him so you have to fill the box' ones - I liked the rest of the draft and didn;t want to change it and this fit the space nicely :ok:

Answering the original post, wholesale cut/paste for reports is inexcusable from a book or elsewhere.

[Airdrop Charlie]

It seems that Innsworth have a list of key phrases they look for in a narrative to seperate reports which may appear similar on the surface. The thing is, you have to be 'in the know' to be 'in the know'! Maybe Innsworth should issue their own phrasebook!!!

[Blacksheep]

From my Changi days...

"Corporal Blacksheep's capacity for drunken debauchery far exceeds his means."

I took this to be a recommendation for promotion; unfortunately PMC Gloucester didn't understand the hidden message.

[Cornish Jack]

"Like a lighthouse in the desert ... Terribly bright but utterly useless!!

[Didntdoit]

Not that exciting or witty but one that I always turn for a smile, given how things ended up.

Written by 3rd RO, A/Stn Cdr, in 86, about me, as a 22 year-old SAC:

He could certainly cope with ATC training whilst both he and the Service would find officer training a mutaully enlightening experience, given his sometimes exuberant manner and dress.

Don't wear pink tights, a floppy hat and a hawaiian shirt to SATCO's BBQ, is all I can say to that!!

[soddim]

If this pilot went to war and was shot down and taken prisoner he would make life hell for the commandant of his POW camp. However, I object to the fact that, in the meantime, he is practising on me.

[gashcan]

About a mate of mine during BFTS in the 80's

..this man's control inputs would be far better suited to a JCB...

[c130 alm]

Someone I know..... I wont mention names as he posts on here...... had this in his ACR:

"Bloggs is a bull looking for a china shop"