LoeyDaFrog
11th Jan 2005, 19:04
In times of stress, one must keep a sense of humour I feel....
Serial No: 88/04
Source: HQ PMA
Date: 13 Dec 04
Released by: RAFFT
SELECTION OF PERSONNEL FOR REDUNDANCY
ISSUE
Adoption of a new process to aid decision-making on which personnel will be selected for redundancy.
KEY POINTS
· On 8 Dec 04 information was circulated to all RAF personnel on the RAF Manpower Drawdown.
· It provided details of the fields for redundancy and personnel numbers in each bracket.
· This new IBN explains exactly how those personnel who have applied for redundancy will be short-listed by PMA.
BACKGROUND
Despite extensive work at PMA, great difficulty was experienced in deciding on the most appropriate method of short-listing those personnel who have applied for redundancy and how to make the final selection. Detailed research also showed that, of those who qualified, it was generally those personnel who were regarded as ‘quality’ individuals who would apply for redundancy, watering down the RAF’s good egg quotient further and leaving behind some of those personnel who, though qualified to go, would hang on in to the bitter end, much to the disappointment of their peers, subordinates or superiors. PMA was faced with the difficult task of balancing the books. However, a recent television programme has inspired a robust solution to this issue that will provide a suitable compromise, across the piste, for all parties concerned; whilst additionally generating a much needed boost to the Defence Budget.
SHORT LISTING PERSONNEL FOR REDUNDANCY
Following closely on the success of the tele-visual wonder ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!’, PMA have devised a fair and reasonable method of enabling those who want to apply for redundancy to do so, whilst giving those left behind the opportunity to decide who stays and who goes; a sort of ‘I’m In The Military, Get Me Out Of Here!’ if you will. The system will work as follows:
· All applications for redundancy in Tranche 1 will be sifted to ensure qualification criteria are met.
· All successfully shorlisted personnel will be issued with a bib. On the bib will be printed a unique telephone number and their first name and initials.
· The vest will be worn during the normal working day and all other station personnel will be invited to telephone and vote for the individuals they wish to see leave the Service.
· Alternatively, personnel may text the first name and initials of their choice using a mobile telephone or similar device.
· At the end of each month the bottom 10% of personnel in each class ie, those who have received the fewest votes, will be eliminated from the competition and the process will begin again.
· Those left in the competition by Jun 05 will enter the Grand Final.
· At anytime during the competition, should an individual realize that they will not be able to retire to a Hash farm in the Bahamas using the redundancy package on offer, they need only telephone the emergency number provided and say “I’m in the Military, get me out of here!” and they will be eliminated from the competition.
· Telephone calls will cost £1 per minute. Texts will be 30 pence (plus the normal cost for a text made by your service provider).
BENEFITS TO THE DEFENCE BUDGET
In does not take the intellect of a staff officer to work out that the Defence Budget would also benefit. Each stage should net the MOD approximately £40K per month which will help finance the consultants employed to work out how the RAF will staff its extensive commitments in the future, with no personnel (though PMA readily admits that monies raised are likely to fall well short of funding anything more than a memo from DARA). In addition, PMA are investigating if it would be fruitful to open up the voting process to the British public, even though they may not know the individuals concerned. (Mind you, it didn’t stop them voting for Paul Burrell and who on Earth is Fran Cosgrove?). PMA anticipates that the public will be swept along in the current ‘vote for absolutely everything on television’ trend and expansion of the scheme will generate even more wealth for the Ministry.
PERSONNEL SHOULD NOTE
Unlike the contestants in the original programme, there will be no requirement for RAF personnel to eat any large grubs or ‘Bush Oysters’ (insert own punch line here) but personnel should not expect 5 Star luxury once they have been eliminated. Merry Christmas.
CONTACT DETAILS
Further information on the Future of the Royal Air Force can be obtained from KMGP Consultants, KMGP Island, Hawaii.
;)
Serial No: 88/04
Source: HQ PMA
Date: 13 Dec 04
Released by: RAFFT
SELECTION OF PERSONNEL FOR REDUNDANCY
ISSUE
Adoption of a new process to aid decision-making on which personnel will be selected for redundancy.
KEY POINTS
· On 8 Dec 04 information was circulated to all RAF personnel on the RAF Manpower Drawdown.
· It provided details of the fields for redundancy and personnel numbers in each bracket.
· This new IBN explains exactly how those personnel who have applied for redundancy will be short-listed by PMA.
BACKGROUND
Despite extensive work at PMA, great difficulty was experienced in deciding on the most appropriate method of short-listing those personnel who have applied for redundancy and how to make the final selection. Detailed research also showed that, of those who qualified, it was generally those personnel who were regarded as ‘quality’ individuals who would apply for redundancy, watering down the RAF’s good egg quotient further and leaving behind some of those personnel who, though qualified to go, would hang on in to the bitter end, much to the disappointment of their peers, subordinates or superiors. PMA was faced with the difficult task of balancing the books. However, a recent television programme has inspired a robust solution to this issue that will provide a suitable compromise, across the piste, for all parties concerned; whilst additionally generating a much needed boost to the Defence Budget.
SHORT LISTING PERSONNEL FOR REDUNDANCY
Following closely on the success of the tele-visual wonder ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!’, PMA have devised a fair and reasonable method of enabling those who want to apply for redundancy to do so, whilst giving those left behind the opportunity to decide who stays and who goes; a sort of ‘I’m In The Military, Get Me Out Of Here!’ if you will. The system will work as follows:
· All applications for redundancy in Tranche 1 will be sifted to ensure qualification criteria are met.
· All successfully shorlisted personnel will be issued with a bib. On the bib will be printed a unique telephone number and their first name and initials.
· The vest will be worn during the normal working day and all other station personnel will be invited to telephone and vote for the individuals they wish to see leave the Service.
· Alternatively, personnel may text the first name and initials of their choice using a mobile telephone or similar device.
· At the end of each month the bottom 10% of personnel in each class ie, those who have received the fewest votes, will be eliminated from the competition and the process will begin again.
· Those left in the competition by Jun 05 will enter the Grand Final.
· At anytime during the competition, should an individual realize that they will not be able to retire to a Hash farm in the Bahamas using the redundancy package on offer, they need only telephone the emergency number provided and say “I’m in the Military, get me out of here!” and they will be eliminated from the competition.
· Telephone calls will cost £1 per minute. Texts will be 30 pence (plus the normal cost for a text made by your service provider).
BENEFITS TO THE DEFENCE BUDGET
In does not take the intellect of a staff officer to work out that the Defence Budget would also benefit. Each stage should net the MOD approximately £40K per month which will help finance the consultants employed to work out how the RAF will staff its extensive commitments in the future, with no personnel (though PMA readily admits that monies raised are likely to fall well short of funding anything more than a memo from DARA). In addition, PMA are investigating if it would be fruitful to open up the voting process to the British public, even though they may not know the individuals concerned. (Mind you, it didn’t stop them voting for Paul Burrell and who on Earth is Fran Cosgrove?). PMA anticipates that the public will be swept along in the current ‘vote for absolutely everything on television’ trend and expansion of the scheme will generate even more wealth for the Ministry.
PERSONNEL SHOULD NOTE
Unlike the contestants in the original programme, there will be no requirement for RAF personnel to eat any large grubs or ‘Bush Oysters’ (insert own punch line here) but personnel should not expect 5 Star luxury once they have been eliminated. Merry Christmas.
CONTACT DETAILS
Further information on the Future of the Royal Air Force can be obtained from KMGP Consultants, KMGP Island, Hawaii.
;)